A New Roger
by Renthead621
Summary: This is another RogerOC story. Mimi leaves Roger shortly after being released from the hospital. Roger goes out to pursue his glory and meets a girl in a club. It's a romantic story. Hope you like it. R&R please. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

It's a year since Mimi left. Roger's playing at a club in the East Village. He just finished packing up the band equipment and decided to go to the bar to have a drink. A pretty blond got his attention and he intended to strike up a conversation with her. As he leaned over the bar to order his drink, she smiled at him, starting a conversation with him first.

"Hey, you're Roger Davis aren't you?" the young woman asked sitting on her barstool next to her friend.

"Yeah. You were here last week, right?" he replied looking into her deep blue eyes.

"Yeah. I'm Ashley McCoy. I'm a huge fan. And this is my roommate Kelly." she said holding her hand out to shake Roger's.

"Well thank you Ashley. Nice to meet you Kelly. Can I buy you ladies a drink?" he asked leaning on the bar smiling at her.

"Sure. Beer is fine, thank you." she said as she smiled back at him.

"Thank you Roger." Kelly said smiling uncomfortably at him.

"Great. So did you like the set?" he asked shouting over the juke box.

"Yeah, you guys really rock." she said picking up her drink gazing into his green eyes.

"Well thanks. So tell me about yourself." he asked drinking his beer.

"What do you want to know?" she asked taking a sip of hers.

"Where are you from? How old are you? What are you doing in a place like this?" he asked laughing as she looked up at him.

"Well, I'm from Queens, I'm 24 and I heard there was this band whose lead singer looked like Jon Bon Jovi, so here I am. But you guys don't sound like Bon Jovi." she said laughing back.

"Really? They're saying I look like Jon Bon Jovi? Interesting." Roger asked amused by that statement.

"Yeah, but I don't think you do. Much." Ashley told him playing with her long golden blond hair.

"Thanks. I think." he told her laughing.

"I mean, your hair and you're sort of built like him, but I happen to think you have nicer eyes. Now it's your turn. Tell me about yourself." she told him touching his arm.

"Well, I'm 27, I'm originally from Upstate New York and I've been playing rock since I was 12, so I came here to try to get famous." he said smiling down at her.

"Really? Well with a voice like yours, it won't be long. You're amazing." she told him sipping her beer.

"Thanks. Um, do you wanna play some pool?" Roger asked looking down at her hand.

"I'm not really that good." she answered smiling.

"That's OK. I'll teach you a thing or two." he told her taking her hand and leading her to the pool table. As he began to teach her how to play pool, she smiled each time he got close to her. He taught her how to hold the stick and line up shots.

"Hey Rog. Who's your new friend?" Mark asked smiling as he approached them.

"This is Ashley. Ashley, this is my roommate Mark. Don't mind him. He films everything." Roger told her smiling before leaning down to help her make another shot. He could smell her strawberry shampoo. He didn't think she wore perfume, but she didn't need it. Her hair smelled so good. It was the first time since Mimi left that he had been this close to a woman.

"Do I look like I'm getting the hang of it, or do I just look like a total blond?" she asked laughing as they completed the "lesson".

"No, you're getting some of it. Do you want to go outside?" he asked before taking her hand.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Kelly, I'll be right back." she said to her friend on her way out the door following Roger into the beautiful May night.

"So where do you live now?" he asked leaning up against the wall taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

"I still live in Queens, but I love coming and hanging out in the city. The clubs are better and they have better bands." she said smiling up at him sipping her beer.

"Oh yeah?" he said smiling at her taking a drag of his cigarette.

"Well I work not to far from here, so I just get changed at work and meet up with Kelly." she said standing in front of him.

"Where do you work?" he asked looking down at her.

"At a clinic a few blocks away. I'm a nurse." she said flipping her hair behind her shoulder.

"That's really cool Ashley." he smiled at her.

"Yeah, I really like it."

"So what was your favorite song we did?" he asked changing the subject.

"I liked that one you did talking about some girls eyes. It was really nice." she said flipping her hair back. He loved how her hair seemed to sparkle in the moonlight.

"Yeah, I kind of wrote it for a girl. It's a long story." he said laughing. His smile knocked her socks off. It was so big and real. Not like the other guys she'd met in bars. When he laughed his shoulder length dirty blond hair would bounce. She envied his hair. Hers was damaged and his looked so perfect. He was wearing a black tank top that had the Harley Davidson emblem on it the showed off his cool Celtic tattoo and you could see his muscles each time he'd take a sip of beer or bring the cigarette to his perfect lips. Their conversation was awkward, but she loved spending time getting to know him.

"Well, you do it really great. It's my favorite. But I like boy bands, so what do I know?" she said smiling up at him.

"Boy bands? Like New Kids on the Block, boy bands?" he asked looking at her funny.

"Yeah, what's wrong with boy bands?" she asked smiling at him.

"Nothing, but if I ever played a boy band type song, I wouldn't have an audience for long." he said laughing.

"Good point. So where do you live?" she agreed laughing with him.

"11th and Ave. A. That huge building with the stained glass on the top floor." he said standing up straight.

"Oh my god, I love that building. I've been staring at that building forever. Have you ever been to the Life Cafe? I love their burgers." she asked laughing.

"Yeah, I go there all the time. I usually get a bacon cheeseburger." he told her smiling.

"I love their bacon cheeseburgers." she said finding it amusing that they had something else in common.

"Do you need a refill?" Roger asked drinking the last of his beer throwing out his cigarette.

"Yeah, I could use another one." she said smiling as they opened the door for her and stopping at the bar to order another round for them. Ashley felt bad for ditching Kelly, but she seemed to be talking to Mark, so she was happy.

"Isn't that your roommate and my roommate?" Roger pointed out with one hand on her shoulder. Her skin was so soft. She was wearing a backless shirt and he could see all her freckles.

"Yeah, go Kelly." Ashley said smiling as she turned to look up at Roger.

"Go Mark." Roger said laughing as he looked down at her.

"Should we go over there?" she asked taking her beer off of the bar.

"Nah, leave them. It's about time Mark spoke to a girl. He's usually really shy when it comes to talking to women, so this is a big step for him." Roger said taking his beer and leading Ashley to a table in the back away from the juke box speakers.

"So tell me about the girl you wrote that song for. Are you still with her?" Ashley asked sitting across the table from him.

"No, not anymore. She broke up with me last year." he said swigging his beer.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Roger." she said reaching over the table to touch his arm.

"It's OK. I'm over her. We had a lot of problems and no matter how much we tried, it wasn't gonna work between us." he told her looking down at the initials carved on the table of a couple he didn't know.

"I get what you mean. My ex liked my friends too much. He used to hit on all of them. Especially when we went out." Ashley told him smiling at him.

"Well, our problems weren't quite that simple." he said about to tell her his HIV status.

"What do you mean?" she asked as he peaked her interest.

"Well she was a junkie and I was an ex junkie, so that didn't work. And also we were both HIV positive, so that was a worry." he told her trying to read her reaction.

"I'm sorry Roger. How long have you been positive?" she asked concerned, but not scared off.

"3 years. But I take my meds and just live my life. Did I scare you off yet?" he asked half kidding.

"No you didn't Roger. Remember, I'm a nurse? I like you. I respect you telling me. HIV isn't a death sentence anymore and as long as you take care of yourself, you'll be fine." she told him smiling at him taking his hand in hers.

"Really?" he said smiling but a bit surprised.

"Yes Roger really. I'm a nurse, remember? I know how you get HIV and I know to prevent it." she said smiling as he caressed her hand with his thumb.

"You're not..." he began until she cut him off.

"No, I'm not HIV positive. But I'm not afraid of you." she said tilting her head smiling at him.

"That means a lot. I like you too." he told her smiling at her.

"I really hate to do this because I'm having such a great time, but I gotta go. Kelly has an early day tomorrow and we don't like to ride the trains alone. But I'm gonna give you my number, so you can call me. I really had fun with you." she told him looking at Kelly before writing her phone number on his hand with a pen from her back pocket.

"I'm… I'm sorry you have to go. I'm having a great time too, but I will definitely call you. Tomorrow." he said as they got up.

"OK. Then I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye Roger." she said as she went over to Kelly and they left the bar. As Ashley left with Kelly, Mark made his way to the table where Roger was sitting still staring at the phone number on his hand.

"What was that?" Mark asked sitting across from where Roger was.

"What do you mean?" Roger asked looking up at him.

"You know what I mean. You've been talking to Ashley for 2 hours and the she just leaves. You don't kiss her or anything." Mark said with a smirk.

"Mark, I was just talking to her. I noticed you talking up her roommate over there." Roger pointed out smirking back.

"Yeah well she saw me with you and decided to pump me for information." Mark said setting his camera on the table.

"Sorry man." Roger said looking up.

"Don't be. She likes me. She told me to get her number from you." Mark said laughing.

"Nice." he said laughing along.

"So are you gonna call Ashley?" Mark asked sitting back.

"I am definitely gonna call her. I like her. And yes I told her about my HIV and she's cool with it. Not in a weird way or anything. She's a nurse, and she said she likes me and she's not gonna let my HIV stand in her way." Roger said unable to get the smile off of his face.

"Cool. Are you ready to leave?" Mark asked smiling back at him.

"Yeah, let's go." Roger said getting up as he set some money on the bar to tip the bartender and grabbed his guitar from the stage then he and Mark left.

"So what did you and Ashley talk about?" Mark asked as they walked home.

"We were getting to know each other. I found out that she's 24, she lives in Queens, she's a nurse in a clinic around here, loves the Life Cafe, Bon Jovi and boy bands." he answered laughing as Mark looked over at him.

"Boy bands?" Mark asked trying not to laugh.

"Yeah, she's really cool. I can't wait to call her tomorrow." Roger said picturing her golden blond hair and blue eyes.

"I'm glad." Mark said as they walked home the rest of the way in silence.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hi, um Ashley? it's Roger. Roger Davis from the club last night." Roger asked nervously into the phone.

"Hi Roger. Um… yeah. I'm… I'm glad you called. What are you up to?" she asked attempting to curb her excitement.

"Nothing much just thought I'd call you like I said I would. I'm glad you guys got home alright. What are you guys doing tonight?"

"I don't any plans. What do you have in mind?" she asked playing with the phone wire.

"I was thinking you, me, Mark and Kelly could hang out." he suggested.

"Like a double date? That sounds like a good idea." she smiled.

"OK cool. I figure you guys could meet us at the Life Cafe and we'll figure it out from there. Unless you want us to come to Queens." he laughed nervously looking around the room.

"Um… no. I'd much rather come into the city to meet you guys."

"OK great. I'll see you at the Life Cafe." he smiled, trying to reign back his enthusiasm.

"OK Roger. Bye." she smiled before laying down on her bed.

"OK bye Ash." Roger said as he hung up the phone smiling. He couldn't stop staring at the phone number that was still written in pen on his hand.

"Did you call her yet?" Mark asked as he and Collins walked into the loft.

"Yeah. We're meeting her and Kelly at the Life Cafe." Roger said calmly as he walked over to the couch and plopped down.

"Who, that girl you met last night?" Collins asked sitting next to him.

"Yeah, she's really cool." Roger said staring at the phone number again. He hadn't stopped staring at it since Ashley printed it on his hand and knew the phone number by heart already.

"Look at you boy. You think she's more than cool." Collins said putting his arm around Roger's shoulder.

"Shut up. She's the first girl since Mimi left me that I feel comfortable with." Roger said smiling before he got up and sat on the window seat.

"I can tell. You must really like her." Collins said looking back at him smiling.

"Yeah I do. She's funny, beautiful and she loves boy bands. What's not to like?" Roger said smiling as he looked out the window.

"Boy bands, like New Kids on the Block and Menudo?" Collins asked laughing.

"Yeah, so. I think it's cute. I personally don't like them, but I think it's cute that she would tell somebody that about herself." Roger told him looking back at him.

"She must really like you if she was willing to admit that to you. That's cool." Collins said smiling before directing his attention to Mark. "And who's this Kelly?" he asked teasingly as Mark looked away.

"She's Ashley's roommate. At first she was just talking to me to get info on Roger, but then we started talking about ourselves and I think she likes me." Mark said blushing.

"That is really cool. I'm so sorry I had to miss your show last night. It looks like I missed a lot." Collins said as he looked at the clock. "Oh shit, it's 5, I got a Life Support meeting to go to. I'll give everyone your regards. Good luck on your double date." he continued smiling as he left the loft.

"I gotta get in the shower. We're meeting the girls soon." Roger said jumping off of the window seat and rushing to his room so fast he almost over shot it because he was sliding on his socks.

"Calm down Roger, we have plenty of time." Mark said laughing at him.

"I have to shower, shave, blow dry my hair." Roger said standing at his dresser to pick out clothes.

"Roger, why do you need to blow dry your hair?" Mark said laughing harder.

"If I don't it'll do that curly thing it does. And I hate that." Roger said picking out a sleeveless button up shirt and a pair of light blue jeans. They were less worn than the rest.

"Roger has a date." Mark teased sitting on Roger's bed.

"It's not a date. We're just hanging out. The four of us." Roger said picking out a pair of socks.

"Oh yeah, like you ever get this crazed over your wardrobe and your hair when we're just hanging out with Maureen, Joanne and Collins." Mark said laughing.

"Mark, why are you hassling me?" Roger asked standing over him.

"I'm not Rog. I'm just playing around. I think it's cute that you're getting all worked up over a girl you talked to last night for 2 hours and didn't kiss." Mark said smiling at him as Roger got a towel out of the closet.

"I know, but Mark, she is the first girl I've talked to since Mimi and I really like her." he said looking back at him.

"I can tell. Just let me know when you get out of the shower so I can go in." Mark said smiling before leaving the room.

An hour and a half later, Roger was standing by the door waiting for Mark feeling very nervous.

"Are you ready Mark?" Roger asked putting his leather jacket on as Mark rushed around the loft putting his camera in it's bag.

"Yeah, but Roger we're gonna be early." Mark said laughing.

"I wanna meet them at the subway." Roger said rushing into the bathroom to look in the mirror one last time before he and Mark rushed out the door.

"It's so funny seeing you like this. This must be the way you were in high school." Mark said laughing as they rushed to the nearest subway station to the Life Cafe.

"Oh quit it." Roger said as they walked swiftly to the train station smiling at him.

"Um… hi, I thought we were meeting at the cafe?" Ashley asked coming up the stairs seeing Roger and Mark standing at the top of the steps.

"Yeah, we just thought we'd pick you up on the way. Since we were here and everything." Roger said playing it cool.

"Right." Mark said laughing looking at Kelly who was smiling at him.

"Shall we go?" Roger said looking down at Ashley.

"Sure." she said smiling up at him.

"So has Roger been as pathetic talking about Ashley as Ashley was talking about Roger?" Kelly asked quietly walking with Mark behind Roger and Ashley.

"Probably worse." Mark said as he and Kelly laughed.

"Yeah, Ashley didn't sleep at all last night and she started getting ready as soon as she hung up the phone." Kelly said as they watched Roger and Ashley flirt with each other in front of them.

"Great. This is gonna be a long night." Mark said laughing as Kelly looked at him.

"It doesn't have to be." she said smiling at him.

"So what did you do today?" Ashley asked looking up at Roger.

"Just hung out in the loft writing some songs. Nothing exciting. How about you?" he said looking down at her with his hands shoved in his front pockets.

"Laundry. I hate laundry." she said smiling at him.

"Me too. But it has to get done, right?" he said opening the door to the cafe.

"I know." she said laughing as she entered the cafe first.

"So should we order some drinks?" Roger asked taking his leather jacket off and hanging it on the back of the chair.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. I'll take a beer." Ashley said smiling at Roger as he sat down.

"OK. Two beers. How about you two?" Roger asked looking at Mark and Kelly.

"I'll take one too." Kelly said smiling at Mark.

"Me too then." Mark said smiling back at her.

"OK. Beers all around Ryan." Roger called out as the waiter came to the table.

"Sure Rog." the waiter smiled before making his way to the bar.

"So last night was fun." Ashley said smiling over at Roger.

"Yeah, it was. I was so wired when I got home that I was up most of the night writing songs." Roger said laughing as the waiter returned to the table with 4 beer bottles.

"Me too. But I wrote a story." Ashley told him taking a sip of her beer.

"You write stories? You never told me that." Roger said sitting back in his chair.

"Yeah, I write fiction. But it's just a hobby." she told him looking up at him.

"That's really cool. I write music and you write fiction." Roger said laughing.

"That is cool." she said as Mark and Kelly just looked at each other rolling their eyes.

"You guys are too much." Mark said smiling at them.

"Can I talk to you outside? Alone?" Roger asked Ashley quietly.

"Sure. We'll be right back." Ashley said laughing as Roger took her hand and led her out the front door.

"Can you believe them?" Kelly asked smiling at Mark.

"Yeah, I can." Mark said drinking his beer.

"So." Ashley started looking up at Roger.

"So." Roger answered back shoving his hands in his front pockets standing in front of her.

"Roger, would you just kiss me already please? This awkwardness is killing me." Ashley said taking a hold of the front of his shirt and bringing her towards him.

"I'm sorry. I'm not really good at this first kiss stuff." he told her smiling down at her inches from her face.

"Roger..." she began before he took her face in his hands and kissed her. It was the perfect first kiss. The hair on the back of Ashley's neck stood on end and she got chills up and down her body, even though it was mid March and the weather was very mild. Roger's heart almost pounded out of his chest.

"How was that?" he asked smiling at her.

"Pretty good." she answered giggling.

"I'll give you pretty good." he told her before kissing her again more passionately this time.

"Now that was great. We should go back inside. Kelly and Mark are probably exchanging awkward glances at each other." Ashley said laughing.

"One more thing. Um… be my girlfriend, Ash. Please?" he asked her before kissing her one last time.

"Of course I will Roger. But if you keep doing that, I'm not gonna want to go back inside." she said laughing into his chest.

"OK Ash. Let's go." he said putting his arm around her before opening the door for her. When they got back inside, they were surprised at what they saw.

"Kelly?" Ashley said laughing out loud.

"Mark?" Roger said laughing along.

"Sorry, we got bored waiting for you guys. So, are you guys dating yet, or not?" Mark smiled releasing his lip lock on Kelly as they smiled at each other.

"I don't believe it." Roger said laughing pulling Ashley close.

"Oh shut up. Like you two are ones to talk. We saw you kissing outside." Kelly said laughing with Mark's arm still around her back.

"This is a strange turn of events, isn't it?" Ashley said looking up at Roger laughing.

"I thought you'd be happy. You get to see Roger again." Kelly told her laughing.

"I don't think that'll be a problem. We're dating now." Ashley said smiling at them still standing by the table.

"That's great you guys." Kelly said getting up to hug Ashley.

"He asked me after he kissed me." Ashley whispered as they hugged.

"That's so cute." Kelly said laughing then letting go of her roommate.

"OK Come on, let's sit down." Mark said smiling as Roger and Ashley sat next to each other and Kelly took her seat next to him.

"So what do you do Kelly?" Roger asked drinking his beer again.

"I'm a fashion designer in Greenwich Village. Me and Ash come to work together and then we meet up on Friday nights to hang out. She's been dragging me to see you every week for the last 2 months." Kelly said laughing looking at Ashley who was blushing.

"What? I like your music." she said as Roger pulled her close.

"Oh yeah, you like his music. She used to rave about that hot lead singer." Kelly said as Ashley kicked her under the table. "Ow." she called out, looking over the table at her roommate.

"OK Kel, that's enough." Ashley said covering her face with her hands.

"What's the matter Ashley?" Roger said laughing looking down at her.

"It's embarrassing." she said putting her head down on the table.

"Ashley, don't worry about it. You don't need to feel embarrassed in front of me." he told her with his arm around her shoulders laughing.

"I'm glad you think it's funny. It makes me look like some psycho stalker." Ashley said lifting her head up to smile at him.

"But you're a better kisser than any of my other psycho stalkers." Roger said laughing harder as Mark and Kelly joined.

"Roger." Ashley said mortified.

"I'm kidding. Come on. That's what I do." he said taking her into an embrace.

"I know you're kidding. I'm sorry. I just get embarrassed easily." she said hugging him.

"She's not kidding. She didn't date in high school until senior year because she was afraid to tell boys she liked them." Kelly said holding Mark's hand on the table.

"Kelly, does everybody have to know every embarrassing detail about me? Why don't you tell them about the time I had the solo in the chorus and I choked. Literally. When it was my turn to sing, I had a coughing fit." she said covering her face again as she leaned on Roger's shoulder.

"But you're the one who talked to me last night?" Roger asked looking down at her curious.

"Yeah, um...I've never done that before. I liked you and just wanted to talk to you." she said lifting her head off of his shoulder to look him in the eyes.

"I like you too. From the minute I set eyes on you, I wanted to get to know you better." he said kissing her before pulling her into another embrace.

"It took me 2 months to get up the courage to talk to you." she told him quietly.

"Well I'm glad you did." he told her smiling.

"Um, Rog, me and Kelly are thinking of maybe going to the film festival at the 8th Street playhouse. Do you guys wanna come?" Mark asked looking over at Roger and Ashley who were busy in each other's arms.

"No thanks Mark. I think me and Ashley are just gonna hang out in the neighborhood and talk." Roger said looking down at Ashley. "Is that OK with you Baby?" he asked smiling.

"Yeah, I would really like that. Is it OK if we meet back at Roger and Mark's apartment, Kelly?" Ashley asked looking over at her friend.

"Yeah, that sounds cool. We'll see you guys later." Kelly said kissing Ashley on the cheek and hugging Roger before she and Mark left.

"So now what?" Roger asked looking at Ashley.

"Well, let's pay the check and blow this joint." she said smiling at him as he set money on the table and grabbed his jacket before they left.

"Why did you wear a jacket, it's not that cold out?" Ashley asked looking up at Roger whose arms were around her.

"Truth?" he asked as she nodded. "Because it looks cool and I really wanted to impress you." he said laughing as they walked towards the park.

"The rock star was worried about looking cool for the Queens girl? I'm flattered." she said laughing.

"Yeah, you laugh. Chicks dig my jacket." he said laughing back at her.

"Yeah well, I'm the only chick who matters now." she said pulling him towards her to kiss him.

"Yes you are. Do you want to go to the planetarium to see the Pink Floyd laser light show?" Roger asked smiling down at her.

"I always wanted to see that." Ashley told him excitedly.

"I wasn't thinking of seeing it." he told her lifting is eyebrows at her.

"Ooooooh. Roger, you are bad." she said kissing him again.

"What? I like kissing you." he said looking down at her.

"Well I like kissing you too." she told him smiling before leaning up to kiss him again.


	3. Chapter 3

"You guys live up there? I always loved that apartment. I can see it from the clinic." Ashley said looking up at the loft.

"Yeah, it's big. It doesn't look like they're home yet. Do you want to go up and wait for them?" Roger asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I'd like that." she said as they went upstairs. "So how long have you and Mark been roommates?" she asked as they reached the door to the loft.

"8 years. I left home when I got out of high school and roomed with Benny and Collins and then Mark moved in. Collins found him in the park. He was getting mugged by these guys and Collins made sure they didn't take his camera." Roger told her sliding the door open.

"That's cool. And you guys have been best friends ever since?" she asked as he turned on some lamps.

"Not exactly. When my girlfriend April killed herself, Mark helped me through the withdrawal to get off of the heroin and that's how we became best friends." Roger told her smiling as he heard a noise coming from Mark's room.

"What was that?" Ashley asked startled as she looked around.

"Go in the kitchen." he told her pointing to the kitchen as he stalked towards Mark's room.

"Roger, be careful." she said standing behind the metal cabinet.

"Just stay there." he said grabbing the door knob to open the door. "Who's here?" he yelled out as he turned the light on.

"Roger, what the hell? Don't you knock?" Mark asked juming out of the bed. He was dressed in nothing by his boxers. Kelly was laying in the bed covering herself with the blanket.

"Oh shit Mark, you scared the hell of me and Ashley. What are you guys doing here? I thought you were going the playhouse?" he asked laughing a bit still standing in the doorway as Ashley approached them.

"What does it look like we're doing Roger? Just close the damn door and we'll be right out." Mark said frustrated.

"Were they doing what I think they were doing?" Ashley asked looking up at Roger laughing.

"Almost. Thank God." Roger said laughing as Ashley laughed into his chest.

"What are you guys doing back so soon?" Mark asked putting on his glasses.

"We just got out of the Pink Floyd laser light show and thought we'd come back here to wait for you guys. What are you guys doing here?" Roger asked tauntingly.

"The film festival was boring so we thought we'd come back here and I'd show Kelly some of my stuff." Mark said as Roger and Ashley giggled like grade school kids at Mark's remark.

"Did you get a good look Kel?" Ashley laughed burying her face in Roger's chest again.

"You two think you are very amusing, don't you?" Kelly asked with Mark's arm around her.

"Sorry. Um Kel, can I talk to you for a minute?" Ashley said looking at them before she and Kelly went into the kitchen to talk.

"What's the matter Ash?" Kelly asked fixing her skirt.

"Kel, you just met him last night." Ashley said quietly as Roger and Mark spoke quietly on the other side of the room.

"I know, but Ash I like him. He's so sweet and funny. And he's really cute." Kelly gushed smiling at her.

"You're using protection, I hope." Ashley asked putting one hand on her hip.

"Ash, I'm not stupid. Of course I am. How are things with you and Roger?" Kelly asked smiling at her.

"Awkward. I mean, we went to the laser light show and made out through most of it and when he heard you guys in Mark's room, he thought it was a burglar so he sent me in here and told me not to come out so I don't get hurt. But we just started dating a couple of hours ago, so things are awkward." she said smiling over at Roger, who was looking back at her smiling.

"I want to stay over Ash." Kelly said smiling over at her.

"Are you kidding Kel? And what about me? I don't want to ride the train by myself." Ashley asked leaning on the metal counter.

"Stay with Roger." Kelly suggested smiling at her.

"Kelly, I don't think me and Roger are as ready as you and Mark are to sleep together. I mean, we want to take things slowly. I don't want to rush into anything with him." Ashley told her as Roger winked at her from across the room as she blushed.

"Well you don't have to sleep with him. You can just hang out. You know, talk. Grown ups do talk without having sex." Kelly said smiling at her.

"Well I do like spending time with him. Fine, but just be careful." Ashley said smiling as Kelly jumped up and down hugging her.

"Thanks Ash. I owe you one." she said excitedly as she ran back over to Mark.

"Yeah, yeah." she said as Kelly lept into Mark's arms and Roger walked over to her.

"I take it you guys are staying over tonight?" he asked shoving his hands into his front pockets.

"Yeah, Kelly really likes Mark." Ashley said looking up at Roger.

"You know Ash. I don't expect anything to happen tonight. I wanna go slow." he told her leaning down to her.

"I know. I just want to spend more time with you." she told him smiling up at him.

"OK. I have the perfect place too." he said grabbing a blanket and his guitar and taking her up to the roof.

"It is really nice up here." she told him smiling as she looked around.

"Yeah, it's the most special place I know." he told her laying the blanket out.

"Why?" she asked looking down at him.

"Well the view is amazing and yet when I'm up here I feel like the only person in the world." he said sitting down as she sat next to him.

"It is really nice up here. Um, listen Roger, it's been a while since I've done the whole dating thing. So if I'm a spaz at it. I'm sorry." she told him smiling at him.

"That's OK. It's been a while for me too. And I wasn't really good at it before, so we can do it together." he told her lauging as he put his arm around her.

"Well you seem to be doing fine now." she told him smiling up at him.

"Well I like you." he said leaning down to kiss her head.

"I like you too." she said leaning into him.

"I wanna play something for you." he told her reaching over for his guitar.

"Oh? A private show?" she said smiling up at him.

"I think you'll like it. I was playing it last night." he said as he started playing Livin on a Prayer by Bon Jovi.

"I can't believe you. You are so sweet." she said smiling as he began to sing.

"_Tommy used to work on the dock, Union went on strike, he's down on his luck it's tough. So tough." _he started flashing his green eyes at her. "Well it's your fault. I couldn't get the song out of my head last night." he said laughing as he continued to sing.

"_Oooh, we're half way there, Ooh Livin on a Prayer. Take my hand, we'll make it I swear. Ooh Livin on a Prayer." _they sang in unison.

"You have a really good voice." he said stopping.

"Yeah well, I usually can't sing in front of people like you do. But I feel comfortable around you." she said leaning in to kiss him.

"Good, I'm glad. Because I feel comfortable around you too." he said disguarding his guitar to lay down with her.

"This is the best day. I mean, I couldn't stop thinking about you all day and then I get to see you. Tonight was really great." she said laying on his chest.

"Yeah it is. I'm glad you came in tonight." he said kissing her head.

"Well I'm glad you called me." she said smiling up at him before laying in his arms and falling asleep.

"There you guys are." Kelly said as she and Mark stood over them. The morning sun shining on them.

"What time is it?" Ashley asked rubbing her eyes, smudging her eye make up.

"9:30." Mark answered smiling down at them.

"Do you wanna go to breakfast?" Roger asked looking down at Ashley.

"Sure. Let me just cleaned up first." she said smiling up at him.

"We'll meet you guys downstairs." Kelly said smiling down at them as she and Mark turned around and went downstairs.

"Good morning." Roger said quietly as he leaned down to kiss her.

"Good morning." she replied smiling up at him.

"Come on. Let's go down stairs. We have to get ready." he told her getting up.

"What do we have to get ready for?" she asked as he held his hands out to help her up.

"Sunday breakfast. We do it at least once a week. You can meet everyone." he said smiling at her.

"Do you think they'll like me?" she asked fixing her skirt.

"Of course they will. Collins already saw you on the film Mark took from last night and he likes you already. Maureen and Joanne are cool. They'll like you too." he said picking up the blanket and his guitar as they went downstairs.

"I'm just gonna go in the bathroom and wash my face. I'll be out in a minute." Ashley told him before leaning up to kiss him. "Which toothbrush is yours?" she asked smiling.

"The green one." he said smiling down at her.

"I'll go with." Kelly said following her in.

"So, how did it go with Mark last night?" Ashley asked putting the water on.

"He is so great Ash. I really like him." she said sitting on the edge of the bathtub. "How about you and Roger? You looked pretty comfortable on the roof in each others arms." Kelly asked as Ashley splashed some water on her face.

"We just talked and must have fallen asleep. I feel so good when I'm with him." she said smiling at her from the mirror.

"You look like it. You're falling for him, aren't you?" Kelly asked getting up to approach her.

"Kel, we've only been dating like 15 hours. It's a little soon to be falling for him." Ashley said blushing.

"You are. You're falling for him." Kelly said as Ashley washed her face.

"Shut up." Ashley said rinsing her face before grabbing a towel to dry her face.

"I think he's falling for you too. He looks really protective of you." Kelly said smiling at her before Ashley started brushing her teeth.

"Why because he asked me to go in the kitchen when he thought there was a robber in Mark's room? He's a gentleman." she said between toothbrush strokes.

"And the way he was holding you while you guys were sleeping on the roof. Me and Mark were watching you guys for a while." Kelly said as Ashley rinsed her mouth out.

"Yeah well, he's a nice guy." Ashley said running her fingers through her hair as Kelly washed her face.

"Ash, I put a pair of sweats and a t-shirt on my bed, if you want to change your clothes." Roger said knocking on the bathroom door.

"Make that great guy." Kelly said looking at her.

"OK Roger, thank you. I'll be out in a minute." Ashley said smiling at Kellly. "He is, isn't he?" she said before opening the bathroom door.

"My room is right over there." he said as they opened the door to the bathroom.

"Thank you Roger." Ashley said going into Roger's room. It was dark. There were posters of a band called Mute that he was in. he looked really young and his hair was short. Really short. He had put his guitar back in there and laid out a pair of black sweatpants and a Pink Floyd t-shirt. She picked them up and smelled them. They smelled like Roger. She was falling for him, but she didn't want to say it out loud. She didn't want to jinx anything that was developing with him. She didn't understand it. She never fell for anyone as quickly as she fell for Roger. But he was different. He was so open and honest with himself.

"Are you ready, Baby?" he called out knocking on his bedroom door.

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute." she answered running Roger's brush through her long golden blond hair.

"OK." he said smiling at the door.

"I'm sorry it took so long." she said rolling down the top of the sweatpants because they were so big.

"Sorry they're so big on you. We can get a pair of Mark's if you want." Roger offered as she came out of the bedroom.

"No, it's OK. These are fine." she said looking down at them.

"Are you sure? Mark's are smaller." he said putting his arms around her waist.

"No, I like these. They're yours."she said smiling up at him giving him a kiss.

"OK you two, let's go. We're starving." Kelly said smiling at them.

"Sorry." Ashley said burying her face in Roger's chest.

"That's OK sweetie." Kelly said smiling at them as they left the loft.

"So are you nervous about meeting Collins, Joanne and Maureen?" Roger asked looking down Ashley as they walked to the Life Cafe.

"Last night you said I didn't have a reason to be nervous." she told him getting freaked out.

"No, you don't. But it looks like you're nervous." he told her holding her closer.

"Well I am a little." she said looking up at him.

"It'll be OK, don't worry about it." he said kissing her head as Mark opened the door to the Cafe.

"There they are. We tried calling you guys like a half hour ago." Maureen told them standing up as they walked in the door.

"We must have been on the roof. Guys, I want you to meet my girlfriend Ashley and that's Mark's girlfriend Kelly. That's Collins, Maureen and Joanne." Roger said introducing everyone.

"Hi Ashley. I saw you on some film Mark had from your man's show yesterday. It's nice to finally meet you. Hi Kelly. You managed to stay far out of Mark's camera shot. Trust me, that's not gonna last long. He gets everyone eventually." Collins said laughing as he stood up to shake the girl's hands.

"Well Ash is a huge fan of Rogers. We've been going to see him for 2 months, so she knows all of his songs." Kelly said as Ashley gave her a look. "What? You are." she said laughing with her arm around Mark's waist.

"I thought you two were hungry?" Ashley said as they sat down.

"We're starving." Kelly said sitting down.

"That's OK Babygirl. Roger's a huge fan of yours too." Collins said laughing as Roger smiled down at her.

"Anyway, how was your weekend? You ditched me for my show." Roger said looking at everyone.

"Well I had an early rehearsal yesterday morning and you know Pookie doesn't like going out to clubs without me." Maureen said sipping her coffee.

"And I had to show some computer at work who's boss. Sorry man. But it looks like you had fun anyway." Collins said smiling looking at a menu.

"Yeah we did." Roger said looking at Ashley as the waiter poured them coffee

"So what do you do Ashley?" Joanne asked smiling at her.

"I'm a nurse at a clinic in Greenwich Village." she said smiling at them.

"That is so nice. So you help people?" Maureen said leaning forward.

"I try to anyway." she said smiling up at Roger.

"And how about you Kelly?" Maureen asked smiling at her.

"I'm a fashion designer. I work with a designer in the village, but I'm close to branching out on my own." she answered as Mark smiled at her.

"That is really cool. And ironic. I mean, here we have the boho boys. Both creative types and they wind up dating professional women." Maureen joked as Roger smiled at her.

"Well Ashley also writes stories." he told her smiling at Ashley.

"What a coincidence. Roger writes songs." Joanne said giving Maureen a look.

"I know. His songs are really good too." Ashley said smiling up at Roger as everyone else just looked at each other knowing they were witnessing the start of something special.


	4. Chapter 4

"Ashley, we really have to go. It's getting late." Kelly said still in Mark's arms as the couples said goodbye at the train station by the loft.

"I know. I just don't want to go. I want to stay here with Roger." Ashley said kissing Roger again.

"I want you to stay too. But you guys better go. You have work tomorrow. And I have a feeling your bosses would not appreciate you wearing your boyfriends sweats and heavy metal t-shirts." Roger said holding her face in his hands laughing before gently kissing her.

"OK. I'll call you when I get home." Ashley agreed pouting.

"OK. Be careful you guys." Roger said as he and Mark kissed their girlfriends again before they went into the subway.

"OK Bye." Ashley said smiling at Roger as she walked down the stairs.

"What a weekend." Roger said watching them go down the stairs.

"You're not kidding. You meet a girl in a bar and I get lucky." Mark said patting Roger on his arm.

"Yeah, well I just want to take things slow with her. I really like her." Roger said as they began to walk back to the loft.

"I know Rog." Mark said smiling at him.

"I like talking to her anyway. She's great." Roger said looking over at Mark.

"Yeah she is. I can't believe she got so embarrassed about you finding out that she thinks your hot." Mark said laughing.

"Yeah, that was cute huh?" Roger said laughing with him.

"And I can't believe I'm dating her roommate." Mark said laughing.

"Yeah, how did that happen anyway?" Roger asked looking over at him.

"Well, we were talking about you two. And I don't know. It just happened." Mark said as they opened the door to the building.

"That's really great man. I'm happy you like her." Roger said as they walked up to the loft.

"So did the girls get off OK?" Collins asked sitting on the couch.

"Yeah, we just dropped them off. What are you doing here?" Roger asked sitting next to him.

"Just thought I'd come hang out with you guys." Collins asked pouring stoli and handing Roger and Mark their cups.

"Well we're glad you came over." Roger said downing his drink.

"I still can't believe you boys met women in a bar and Marky was the only one to get some." Collins said laughing as he poured more stoli.

"This'll be it for me. Ashley is gonna call me when she gets home and I don't want to be trashed on the phone with her." Roger said laughing as he downed the stoli.

"You are so cute Roger. I like seeing you like this. Both of you. You guys are both dating really nice girls. Who are clean and not lesbians. I'm so happy for my boys." Collins said wrapping his arms around both of their shoulders and pulling them in for an affectionate hug.

"Thanks a lot Collins." Mark told him sarcastically.

"Oh come on Mark. I was giving you a compliment." Collins told him laughing.

"Yeah, I know. And they are nice girls." Mark said smiling at him.

"I can see that. You boys deserve some happiness." Collins said as the phone rang.

"That's Ashley." Roger said excitedly jumping up and running to the cordless phone Joanne bought them for Christmas. "Hi Baby." he said excitedly.

"How did you know it was me?" she asked laughing still wearing his sweat pants and t-shirt.

"Because I've been waiting for you to call." he said laughing taking the phone into his room.

"And there he goes." Mark said laughing as he got up to get some water.

"It's cute seeing Roger so excited about a girl he's not sleeping with." Collins said following him.

"Yeah it is." Mark said drinking a glass of water.

"So how was your ride home?" Roger asked sitting up on his bed.

"It was OK. I mean it's sunday so not a lot of people were on the train, and me and Kelly just talked about you and Mark the whole time." she told him laughing laying on her bed holding a pink princess phone.

"I wish you didn't have to go home today. I like spending time with you." he told her running his fingers through his hair.

"Me too, but like you said, I have to go to work tomorrow and I can't very well wear my boyfriends sweats and heavy metal t-shirts to work." she told him laughing twirling her long blond hair around her finger.

"Not that you don't look great in my clothes, but we always have next weekend." he told her smiling to himself.

"About that. I was thinking I would go home with you from the club and stay the weekend. If that's OK." she asked cautiously.

"Are you kidding? I would love that. But what about Kelly? Doesn't she have to work on saturday? She can't ride the train alone late at night." he asked folding his legs under him.

"She's gonna ask Mark if she could bring a change of clothes so she could stay in the city with him and then after work they could come to our apartment to spend the rest of the weekend alone together. But don't tell him I told you. She wants to ask him herself." Ashley said quietly so Kelly wouldn't hear her.

"That sounds cool. I won't tell him." he said laughing.

"Roger, I like you. I want to be with you." she told him quietly.

"I like you Ashley too but if you're not ready, I'm willing to wait as long as you need me to. Hanging out with you and getting to know you is enough for me." he told her reassuringly.

"Roger, I'm ready. You have no idea how ready I am. But thank you Roger. That means a lot to hear you say that." she said smiling.

"Well we have to be careful when we do. The last thing I want is to hurt you." he told her his smile fading.

"I know. But Roger, I told you I'm not afraid of your HIV. I know how you get it and I know how to avoid getting it. I know you would never hurt me. I like you for you, not for anything else." she said reassuring him this time.

"What about my singing?" he teased lightening the mood.

"Well then there's that. And the fact that you are so hot." she said playfully smiling.

"And a hot guy like me needs a hot girlfriend like you on his arm." he played smiling.

"Anyway, do you have to work tomorrow?" she asked laughing.

"Yeah, I'm on nights so I won't be able to call you tomorrow night." he told her slouching down into his bed to lay down.

"Well I was thinking maybe we can meet up for lunch tomorrow. I get my lunch break at noon." she suggested as Roger smiled.

"I would love that." he said happily.

"Can you meet me at the clinic? I'm in the building on Madison on the second floor. It's the building next to the health food cafe." she said smelling her t-shirt which still smelled like Roger even though she had been wearing it all day.

"We're not going to the health food cafe for lunch, are we?" he asked cocking his brows.

"Oh god no. There's a really cool greasy spoon down the block." she told him laughing.

"Oh good." he said laughing with her.

"Well I gotta go. Kelly is nagging me to talk to Mark, so can you put him on and I'll see you tomorrow at noon for lunch?" she said sitting up holding her hand up to Kelly.

"Sure. I'll get him. And I will definitely see you tomorrow for lunch. I wouldn't miss it. See you at noon Ashley." Roger said getting up to get Mark. "Mark, phone. It's Kelly. Bye Ashley." he said before handing the phone to Mark.

"Thanks Rog. Hey Kel." he said retreating to his room.

"You guys are funny. I guess you're lucky you're dating roommates so you save on phone calls." Collins said joking as Roger poured some stoli for himself much to Collins surprise.

"Ashley wants to spend the weekend next week." he said after downing the contents of his cup.

"So, she stayed over last night." Collins said as Roger poured himself some more.

"She wants to sleep together." Roger said downing that one just as quickly.

"Roger, you're no idiot. You know how to be careful. And she's a nurse so she knows what she's getting into." Collins said shifting on the couch to face him.

"I know, but Mimi was positive already and with April... Things are just complicated." Roger told him putting his head in his hands.

"Rog, do you like her?" Collins asked looking down at him.

"Yeah, I like her. I like her a lot." he answered turning his head to face him.

"She likes you, I can tell. So don't worry about it. Just follow her lead and you'll be fine. Just stay prepared." Collins told him putting his hand on Roger's shoulder.

"Of course I'm gonna be prepared." Roger said picking his head up and sitting back on the couch.

"So don't worry about it." Collins said smiling at him.

"Thanks man. You always have a way of talking me down off the ledge." Roger told him smiling.

"Any time man, you know that." Collins said sitting back as well.

"Rog, would you mind if I stayed at Kelly's next weekend?" Mark asked putting the phone back on the charger.

"No, go ahead. Ashley wants to stay here, so you guys will have the apartment all to yourselves." Roger said leaning his head back to talk to Mark.

"Thanks. Well, I'm gonna go edit some of this stuff I got from when the girls were here. I'll be in my room." Mark said smiling bigger than he had in a long time.

"Damn it's good to see my boys so happy." Collins said as he and Roger laughed. "I gotta go, I have class early in the morning. I'll check up on you guys tomorrow." he said getting up closing the bottle of stoli and putting it in the kitchen cabinet before he left. Roger went off to bed. All he could think about was the following weekend and what was gonna happen with Ashley. He barely slept a wink. He sat up writing songs and playing on guitar. He wrote a song for Ashley. It was called I'm With You. It was a song about his feeling for her. He wanted to play it for her at the club on friday night.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Rog, don't you have to get out of here to meet Ashley for lunch?" Mark called out from the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'm leaving right now." Roger told him running out of his room wearing his black button up shirt and a pair of black jeans that weren't as worn as his other ones.

"You look good." Mark said taking notice.

"Yeah well, I'm going to the clinic where my girlfriend works. I want to make a good impression." Roger said smiling at him.

"Well, you're sure to do that." Mark said laughing as Roger opened the door.

"I'm gonna go to the bar right after lunch so I'll see you later tonight." Roger said running out of the loft and down the stairs.

"Hi Baby." Roger said leaning over the desk to kiss Ashley hello.

"Hi Sweetie. Are you ready?" she asked smiling up at him.

"Yeah, I'm ready." he said as she got up and showed off her pink scrubs.

"You look so beautiful." he told her putting his arms around her waist as they left the clinic and began walking to lunch.

"Roger I'm wearing scrubs. How beautiful could I look?" she asked laughing.

"Anything looks beautiful on you." he said holding her closer.

"So I hear we're gonna have the loft all to ourselves this weekend." Ashley told him smiling at him as they entered the diner and ordered their food.

"Yeah, Mark told me he was staying at your place with Kelly. I'm glad they hooked up. He is really happy." Roger said digging into his burger.

"Yeah I know. Kelly is on cloud nine since saturday night." Ashley said laughing before putting some fries in her mouth.

"Me too. I love being with you." Roger said looking over the table at her as he took her hand in his.

"Roger, I love being with you too." Ashley told him smiling at him.

"This weekend is gonna be great." he told her leaning over the table to kiss her.

"Yeah it is." she told him smiling at him.

"Ash, if you're not ready, it's OK. I'll wait for you." he told her caressing her face.

"Roger, don't worry about me. I'm ready. I like you and I want to be with you." she said caressing his hand on her face.

"OK, I just wanted to make sure you were ready." he said smiling at her.

"Now that we have that out of the way, you're giving me some of those onion rings." she said smiling as she snatched an onion ring off of his plate.

"Yes Baby." he said laughing as he looked up at her. They continued their lunch talking about their past. They talked about their families and how they met their roommates. Roger walked Ashley back to the clinic and Roger went to the bar. They ate lunch together every day that week. As friday quickly approached the anticipation built for both of them. Roger had to work friday afternoon at the bar so he could play the club that night, so they didn't eat lunch together that day. It killed Roger to miss lunch with her, but he was gonna see her that night and he and the band had been practicing the song he wrote for her and was fully prepared to play it for her that night. He couldn't wait for her to hear it.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey Mark. Where's Roger?" Ashley asked looking around as she and Kelly walked into the loft.

"He's still at the bar. He said he'd meet us at the club." Mark said kissing Kelly hello.

"Oh, Um OK." Ashley answered very disappointed. "I'm gonna go in Roger's room and start getting ready." she said moping into his room.

"I'll be right back Baby." Kelly said kissing Mark again before going in after her. "Are you OK sweetie?" she asked seeing Ashley sitting on Roger's bed looking around.

"Yeah, I'm OK. It's stupid." she said looking up at her.

"It's not stupid. You miss him." Kelly told her playing with her long hair.

"I mean, it's just that I've been together every day since last friday and I missed eating lunch with him today. I was hoping he'd be here." she said looking up at the picture of Roger on the band poster.

"I understand sweetie. Why don't we start getting ready for the club? We can get there early so you can surprise him." she said smiling at her.

"OK. Thanks Kel. You're the best." Ashley said hugging her roommate.

"No problem." Kelly said leaving the room to go out to Mark.

"Is she OK?" he asked sitting at the metal counter.

"Yeah. She's just going through Roger withdrawal. Would you mind if we left early tonight? She really wants to see him." Kelly said walking over to him.

"Sure. I know he would like it if we got there early too." he told her kissing her head.

"Thanks Mark." she said smiling up at him.

"I'm gonna go in the shower. Is that OK?" Ashley asked coming out of Roger's room.

"Yeah sure Ash. Roger has towels in his closet, somewhere." Mark said smiling at her.

"Thanks Mark. I'll only be a few minutes." she said smiling as she went back into Roger's room to get a towel before going into the shower.

"She is really nervous about seeing him tonight, isn't she?" Mark asked looking down at Kelly.

"Well it's the first time she is seeing him perform as her boyfriend." Kelly said smiling at him.

"Good point." he said kissing her head.

"I'm going in now, OK?" she said coming out of Roger's room with a towel.

"OK sweetie." Kelly said smiling at her as she went into the bathroom and started the shower.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ash, are you ready? You've been in there almost an hour." Kelly called out knocking on Roger's bedroom door.

"Yeah, give me another minute." Ashley said running around Roger's bedroom making sure she had everything. "Lip gloss, check. Eyeliner, check. Cigarettes and lighter, check. OK I got everything." she said to herself as she put every item in her pocket book. Then she saw Roger's leather jacket. It was pretty warm out, but she put it on and it felt like Roger's arms were around her. She wondered if he would mind if she wore it.

"Ash, let's go." Kelly said opening the bedroom door.

"Oh OK. Sorry." Ashley said quickly taking the jacket off.

"What are you doing?" Kelly asked smiling at her.

"I just felt like trying on Roger's jacket. It's big, but..." she started before Mark cut her off.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you wore it. If you want to." he said standing behind Kelly.

"Are you sure? I mean it's his jacket?" she said looking at the disguarded jacket on the bed

"I'm sure. Go ahead." Mark said smiling at her.

"OK." she said putting it back on before putting her pocket book on her shoulder and leaving the room.

"You look really good, Ash." Kelly told her smiling at her in her tight black jeans, baby pink tank top and high heeled black boots. Her hair was blow dried, courtesy of Roger's blow dryer, and flowing down her back. Roger's leather jacket set it off nicely.

"Thanks. I wanted to look good for Roger. I mean this is the first time I'm seeing him on stage as my boyfriend." she said as they walked to the club.

"We know sweetie. You do look really good. Roger's lucky to have you cheering him on." Kelly said smiling at her.

"Thanks." Ashley said as they rounded the corner to the club.

"Ash, Baby." Roger said throwing his cigarette down as he saw her.

"Roger." she said jumping in his arms.

"I missed you today, Baby." he said kissing her as he picked her up.

"I missed you too. So much." she said holding him tight.

"Is that my jacket?" he asked looking at her smiling.

"Yeah, I was trying it on in your room and Mark said that he didn't think you'd mind if I..." she began to explain before he pressed his lips to her.

"I don't mind. It looks really good on you." he said smiling at her.

"Thanks. It's a little big on me, but I love it. It feels like your arms are around me." she said smiling back at him.

"We don't go on for another hour. What are you doing here so early?" he asked putting her down. "Not that I'm complaining." he said with his arms still around her waist.

"I couldn't wait to see you, so I started getting ready when we got to your place." she said smiling up at him.

"Well I'm glad. We just finished up with sound check, so we can hang out until I go on." he said leaning down to kiss her again.

"Great. So I have you all to myself until you have to get up there and have every girl in the room drool over you." she said smiling up at him.

"Well, you're the only girl I'll be singing to." he said taking her face in his hands and kissing her.

"I like the sound of that." she said kissing him.

"Can we go inside guys? I could use a drink." Kelly said smiling at them.

"Oh, sorry guys." Ashley said as she and Roger continued to hold each other.

"That's OK. You guys are cute." she said smiling at them as they went inside.

"Come on. You can buy me a beer like you did when we first met." Ashley said smiling up at him.

"I would love to." he said kissing her before they went inside.

"Hey Davis, is this the famous Ashley?" Terry asked looking at them as they entered the bar.

"Yeah. Ash, I want you to meet Terry. He's our bassist." Roger said with his arm still around her back.

"Hi Terry. It's nice to meet you." Ashley said smiling at him.

"You weren't kidding, Davis. She's gorgeous." Terry said as Roger leaned down to bury his face in her hair in embarrasment.

"You said I was gorgeous?" she said turning to him laughing.

"Thanks for that Terry." he said holding her closer.

"You are so sweet, Roger." Ashley said patting him on the head.

"Well you are." he said in his own defense.

"Come on. You can meet the other guys." he said as he grabbed the beers off of the bar and led her to the stage area where the other band members were.

"Cool." she said smiling back at Kelly as she followed Roger holding his hand.

"This is Wylie, Dustin and Andrew. Wylie and Dustin are boyfriends, so if they start making out. Don't freak out." he said laughing.

"Very funny Davis." Wylie said looking over at Dustin.

"Guys, this is Ashley. My girlfriend." Roger said with his arms around her.

"Even I think she's hot Rog." Dustin said smiling at her.

"Thanks man." Roger said looking down at her kissing her head.

"Hey Rog, you better not be trying to keep her all to yourself tonight." Collins said approaching the stage.

"Hi Collins." Ashley said leaping down off of the stage to hug him.

"How's my Babygirl?" he asked smiling at her.

"I'm good." she said smiling back.

"Hey Collins, do you mind? My girl." Roger said hopping off of the stage to greet him.

"Sorry man. She is just irresistable." Collins told him still hugging her.

"But you're gay. Now let go of my girl." he told him laughing as he swept er into his arms.

"Sorry man. When I look at Ash, I forget sometimes." Collins said laughing along.

"You two are sick." she said holding Roger.

"Yeah, well you'll get used to us." Roger said kissing her head.

"Davis, we're almost on." Terry told him laughing at the banter between Roger and Collins.

"Hey Terry. How you been?" Collins asked shaking his hand.

"Good Col, we missed you last week." he told him laughing.

"Yeah me too. I had computer trouble at work and I had to take care of it." he told him smiling.

"I gotta go Baby. But remember, I'm singing for you." Roger said leaning down to kiss Ashley before he went on stage.

"I know. Good luck." she said smiling at him.

"Thanks." he said climbing on stage and strapping on his guitar and Ashley took her place in front of the stage with the others.

"Good evening. I am proud to introduce The Boho Knights." the owner of the bar said as the crowd exploded into applause.

"Thanks Steve. We have a great show for you tonight, so let's get on with the music." Roger said winking at Ashley before the band started to play.

"Doesn't he look amazing?" Ashley shouted at Collins, who was standing next to her.

"He sure does Babygirl." he said smiling at her. They played their usual stuff. Ashley sung along and cheered him on.

"Now for our last song, I'm gonna slow it down a bit. I wrote this song last weekend for my girl Ashley. I hope she likes it. It's called I'm With You." he said winking at her before starting the intro to his song.

Starlight and Wonder

The universe seen through your eyes

The moon is a glorious halo

Hanging high over your head every night

Spinning and spinning

A flick of the wrist and a smile

And in the morning so early

Deep conversations are spoken in tongues by sunlight

Tonight, you can drean you're a star

You can walk on the clouds

And float to the ground

And I'm with you

Tonight you can get very far

The calm and the storm, are forever yours

And I'm with you

We stare out the window

And look to the sky every night

The stars ar the beacons of heaven

and maybe one day you'll go up for a ride

Oh you are the sunshine

you are the face that I dream of

You are your mother's religion, down on her knees as she kisses your heartache away

I've thrown coins in the fountain

I've been to the mountain

I've lived through the violence

I've seen what man can do to man can do to man

I can't promise you peace

I can't promise you money But I promise to make you the best man I can

Hold on to something

'cause you life's about to begin

As he finished his song, the crowd erupted into cheers. "Ash, are you OK?" Collins asked looking down at her. She was crying.

"Yeah, it's just the most beautiful song I have ever heard." she said crying as Roger took his guitar off and hopped off stage to go to her.

"Are you OK Baby?" he asked holding her in his arms.

"That was the most beautiful song I have ever heard." she told him holding him tight.

"It's yours. I wrote it for you." he said kissing her neck.

"I love it. You are so amazing." she said crying into his neck.

"You inspire me." he told her still holding her tight.

"How did I get so lucky to get a guy like you to write me the most beautiful song ever written?" she asked gaining her composure.

"You said hi." he said laughing as he let her down and looked at her.

"Well, good thing I did." she said kissing him.

"Hey guys, can we drink now?" Maureen asked trying to lighten the mood.

"Can I just steal my boyfriend for a minute?" she asked taking his hand and dragging him outside before anyone could answer.

"What's the matter Ash?" asked as she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. "What was that for?" he asked smiling at her.

"Being with you. My beautiful song. So many things." she told him kissing him again.

"Well like I said. You inspire me. I just wrote what I feel for you." he told her kissing her.

"I love it. I'm sorry I cried like that. I'm very emotional and it just got me." she said holding him tight.

"I'm glad you loved it. And don't be sorry you cried. I think it's cute." he said holding her tighter.

"That's all I wanted. Do you wanna go back inside with your friends, or go home and start our weekend?" she asked smiling up at him.

"Let's go home." he said smiling at her as they went inside to get his guitar and say goodbye to everyone.


	6. Chapter 6

"Roger, your song really was amazing tonight." Ashley told him smiling at him.

"No, it was your song." he told her as he sat on his bed back at the loft taking off his boots.

"Well then my song was amazing tonight." she told him smiling at him.

"I'm glad you liked it." he told her as she sat next to him.

"Oh Roger, I loved it. You are so talented." she said looking over at him.

"Well, like I told you, you inspire me." he told her leaning towards her to kiss her.

"Roger, do you have protection?" she asked with her hand against his chest.

"Yes, I do." he said smiling at her as he brought her into an embrace.

"Good." she told him kissing him more passionately.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" he asked caressing her face.

"Yes Roger. I am." she whispered to him pulling him down on the bed as she kissed him. They peeled off their clothes and began to make love. He was gentle and caring. It was beautiful. Afterwards, they laid in each others arms and fell asleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Good morning beautiful." Roger said kissing Ashley's face to gently wake her up.

"Good morning Roger." she said leaning up to kiss him.

"Now a man could get used to this." he said holding her tight.

"So could a woman." she said looking up to kiss him. "What time is it?" she asked looking over at the clock on the other side of the room.

"10 o'clock." he answered caressing her head.

"Did Kelly leave for work?" she said laying her head back on his chest.

"Yeah, I heard them leave about an hour ago." he said kissing her head.

"Have you been up this whole time?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, you looked so peaceful. I was just enjoying the view." he said smiling down at her.

"You are so sweet." she said smiling at him.

"Do you want to go to breakfast? Just the two of us?" he asked caressing her face.

"Yeah, I'd like that. But only if we could come back here and spend the rest of the day in bed." she told him smiling at him.

"Deal. Listen Baby, I thought we'd go to the diner around the corner rather than the Life Cafe." he said kissing her before they got out of bed and began to get dressed.

"Why?" she asked slipping into her jeans.

"I want you all to myself today. Our luck, everyone will be there." he told her laughing.

"You're probably right. Oh take your AZT Sweetie." she said before leaving the loft.

"Yes Baby. Thank you for reminding me." he said smiling going into the kitchen to take it.

"No problem. I don't mind." she said kissing him as they left the loft. "Last night was amazing Roger." she told him as they held each other walking towards the diner around the corner.

"Yeah, it was. It was perfect." he said leaning down to kiss her.

"You sung me a song and we had the most amazing first night together. I hope that means something good is happening." she said looking up at him as he simply smiled.

"Baby, it is just the beginning." he replied before they opened the door to the cafe. To his surprise, everyone was there sitting at a back table. "You gotta be kidding me." he said seeing them. They looked as surprised as he was.

"Roger, we had no idea you were coming here. We knew you'd want to spend time alone with Ashley, so we came here so we didn't run into you at the Life. We swear." Maureen said as Roger and Ashley just looked at each other.

"It's OK guys. You meant well." Ashley told them smiling at them.

"No, it's not. We're gonna get out of here." Joanne said grabbing Maureen and Collins arms and dragging them out of the diner.

"What was that all about?" Ashley asked him looking up to see his sly smile.

"I kind of threatened them within an inch of their lives about staying away from the loft this weekend." he said as her mouth fell open.

"Roger, they're gonna think I'm horrible." she said slapping his chest with the back of her hand.

"No they're not. Baby, I'm the one who threatened them. And they already think I'm a prick, so it's cool." he said leaning down to kiss her. "And anyway, what's wrong with me wanting to be alone with you all weekend?" he asked as she sat at the booth formerly occupied by Joanne, Maureen and Collins.

"There's nothing wrong with that, but Roger when you make it sound like I don't want to be around them it makes me look like a bitch." she said sitting next to her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think of that." Roger said putting his arm around her shoulders.

"I just want your friends to like me." she told him looking over at him.

"They do like you." he told her smiling at her.

"How could they? They don't even know me. All they know about me is that we met in the club where you were performing and I'm taking you away from them." Ashley said looking away from him.

"No. They know that I like you and you make me happy and that you're all I talk about since the night we met. They're happy for us." he said touching her chin turning her to face him.

"But I want them to like me for me. Not just because you do. You mean a lot to me Roger and I know how close you are with your friends, so it means a lot to me for them to get to know me and realize for themselves that I'm not gonna hurt you." she said with a faint smile.

"You're right. I was being unfair. I wanted to keep you all to myself. I just didn't think about what you wanted. I'm sorry." he said holding her close to him.

"You're forgiven. But I want to spend time with your friends tomorrow. And we could spend time with them next weekend?" she said looking up at him.

"You're coming over next weekend?" Roger asked smiling from ear to ear.

"Well yeah. If that's OK with you. I want to spend the weekends with my boyfriend." she said smiling back at him.

"That is more then OK. But I was thinking staying at your place, so you, me, Kelly and Mark could hang out on saturday night." he said leaning down to kiss her.

"I like that idea better." she said smiling up at him

"Did we just have our first fight?" he asked kissing her again.

"I think so. It wasn't bad." she said laughing as he hugged her again.

"OK, we should look at the menu. We're gonna need some energy for what I have in mind for the rest of the day." he said teasingly.

"Mmmmm, gotta love make up sex." she said laughing as she hugged him one more time before they picked up the menu's to order. As they ate their breakfast, they exchanged affectionate looks and caressed each other's hands. When they finished their breakfast, Roger paid the check and they went back to the loft. "Sweetie the answering machine is blinking." she said as he wrapped his arms around her waist and began to kiss her neck.

"Leave it. No one else exists outside. It's just us today." he said kissing her more.

"Sweetie, you really should check it. It could be important." she insisted as he hung his head in defeat.

"OK press the button." he conceded still holding her.

"Rog, it's Terry man. Where are you? Oh right, you're probably with Ashley. Hey Ash, listen Rog, tonight's band cancelled on Steve and he needs us to fill in. We're playing tonight. I'm sorry to ruin your weekend, but we gotta play. And you should sing that song for Ashley again. Steve said it went over really big. Call me back. Later." the voice on the machine said as Roger hung his head furter down.

"You wanted to check the messages." he said looking towards her.

"Roger, you have to play tonight. They need you. And they loved my song." she said kissing his cheek which was right next to her face.

"Of course they loved your song. I wrote it for you. But I don't wanna play. At least not with the band." he said kissing her neck.

"But Roger, they need you." she told him pulling away to look at him.

"But what about us staying in bed all day?" he asked disappointed.

"Well we still have all day. Just call Terry and see what time you guys have to be there." she said kissing him before handing him the phone.

"OK, I'll go. But I'm only doing this for you." he said kissing her again before he dialed Terry's number.

"I like the sound of that." she asked smiling up at him.

"So do I.." he smiled still holding her to him. "Terry, hey it's Roger. What's up?... No we just went out to breakfast, what's going on for tonight?... 8:30 for sound check? Sounds good... OK, I'll see you then... alright, bye." he said hanging up the phone. "There, happy?" he smiled as she leaned up to kiss him again.

"Very. Thank you." she said holding him.

"I don't have to be there until 8:30, so we have all day to... you know." he said picking her up and carrying her to the bedroom.

"Now that sounds great." she told him giggling as they collapsed on the bed.

"How's my girl?" he asked kissing her neck.

"I couldn't be better. How's my guy?" she asked laying next to him.

"I have never been happier then I am right now." he told her kissing her again as they began to make love. It was magic. Roger was as tender as he had been the night before. As they laid together in bed, time seemed to stand still. They made love all day and talked. Roger told her about his childhood, growing up in northern New York and Ashley told him about high school.

"Roger, we should start getting ready for the club. I don't want you to be late." Ashley told him running her fingers through his hair.

"I don't wanna move. I like laying here with you." he said leaning down to kiss her as he caressed her naked body.

"Oh no you don't, Roger Davis. I am not gonna be responsible for you missing a show. Plus, I want to hear my song again. I love it." she said kissing him before getting out of bed.

"Where are you going?" he asked reaching out for her, but she was out of his grasp.

"In the shower." she said flashing a sly smile.

"Want company?" he asked not waiting for a response. He grabbed a condom and followed her. They made love again in the shower.

"Now we really have to start getting ready." she told him laughing.

"It's your fault." he said as they washed their bodies.

"I know. But it was worth it." she told him smiling as she began to rub soap on his chest.

"Yeah, it was." he said laughing as he leaned down to kiss her again.

"Roger, we should call everyone to tell them that you're playing. I want to hang out with them." Ashley asked as they stepped out of the shower.

"Oh shit. I forgot about that. Well I don't want to bother Mark and Kelly since they're in Queens. I'm gonna call Collins, Maureen and Joanne." Roger said walking over to the phone with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Make sure you tell them that you're sorry for bullying them into not spending any time with us this weekend. Ooo I love the way you look in a towel." Ashley said wrapping her arms around his waist.

"This is not getting me motivated to leave this loft." he whined wrapping his arms around her.

"Sweetie, you should call them. I gotta get dressed." she said kissing him laughing before going into his room.

"Oh Baby come on." he whined as he picked up the phone.

"I'm serious Roger Davis. You better apologize to them." she said pointing at him as she stood in the doorway of his room.

"Yes Baby." he said smiling up at her as he dialed the phone. "Joanne, what are you guys doing tonight?... Don't worry about that. I'm sorry I told you guys that... Yeah, she yelled at me... OK are you gonna abuse me, or let me invite you to the club tonight?... No, I'm playing. The band for tonight cancelled and Steve wants us to play... OK, we go on at 9... I'll see you then. OK bye." he said hanging up the phone and going into his room to get dressed.

"Are they coming?" Ashley asked slipping into her tight blue jeans.

"Yes. I had to endure some abuse first, thank you very much for that." he said laughing putting his boxers on.

"Well good. You deserved it." she said laughing fixing her pink tank top.

"You make me sound so mean." he said putting his black jeans on.

"You're not mean, but I could only imagne how you sounded to your friends when you told them not to come anywhere near the loft this weekend." she said approaching him and wrapping her arms around his waist.

"I just wanted to spend time alone with you. We just started dating and I didn't want them up our asses all weekend." he said taking her face in his hands.

"I know Sweetie, but tonight I want to get to know them. Don't forget to take your AZT." she told him leaning in to kiss him.

"I won't." he said smiling at her.

"OK." she said smiling at him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey Roger, finally. We thought you weren't gonna make it." Terry said standing outside smoking a cigarette.

"Sorry, man. I got sidetracked." he told him laughing as he looked down at Ashley.

"Right. Hi Ash." Terry said laughing.

"Hi Terry." Ashley said smiling as she held on to Roger.

"Hey Roger, glad you're here. We got sound check." Wylie said opening the door.

"Gotta go Baby." Roger said kissing Ashley as they went inside and Roger climbed up on stage.

"Hey Ash." Maureen said coming up behind her as she sat at a front table to watch Roger during sound check.

"Hey Maureen, Joanne. Where's Collins?" she said smiling at them.

"He'll be here in a little while. He just needed to make a stop." Joanne said as they sat down with her.

"Great. I'm sorry Roger told you guys not to bother us this weekend. I didn't know he did that." she told them as Collins walked in.

"Don't worry about it. We know how Roger can be." Maureen said smiling at Collins.

"Hey girls." he said sitting down next to Ashley.

"Hi Collins. I was telling the girls, that I'm sorry for what Roger said to you guys about this weekend." Ashley said looking over at him.

"Don't worry about it Baby girl. We know what an ass Roger can be sometimes." he told her smiling.

"Not an ass. I mean, his heart was in the right place. He just wanted to spend our first weekend alone together. I would really like to get to know you guys. If you're friends of Roger's, I would like to be friends with you guys too." she told them as they all smiled back.

"You're really falling for Roger?" Collins asked as she looked over at him.

"Yeah, I am." she said blushing.

"Don't worry about it Baby girl. He's falling for you too." Collins said putting his arm around her as she smiled up at him.

"Hey, are you hitting on my girlfriend again?" Roger said coming up to the table.

"Hey Roger." Ashley said getting out of her chair to greet him.

"How's my girl?" he asked kissing her.

"Great. We were just talking. Do you want to go outside?" she asked looking down at them smiling.

"Yeah, let's go." he said as Maureen, Joanne and Collins looked at each other smiling before following them outside.

"So Rog, I bet you're pissed you have to play tonight." Collins said laughing as he took a cigarette out of his jacket.

"Yeah, but Ashley didn't mind. She likes to hear me play, so anything for my girl." he said kissing Ashley again.

"You guys are so cute." Joanne said smiling at them.

"Yeah, too bad we almost didn't get the chance to hang out with you guys this weekend." Maureen said looking at Roger.

"I said I was sorry guys. I just wanted to be with my girl. I was a jerk." Roger said as Ashley smiled up at him.

"I think we cleared the air Sweetie." she said kissing him again.

"Rog, we're on man." Dustin said smiling at them as he peaked out the door.

"Thanks Dustin. I'm on Baby. Remember, it's just me and you here tonight." he whispered in her ear as he held her close to him.

"I know Sweetie. Good luck." she said kissing him again as they went back inside. Ashley again stood up front with everyone else cheering him on. "Go Roger." she yelled as he looked down and laughed.

"Hi Baby. Good evening everyone, once again I'm Roger Davis and we are The Boho Knights. We got a great show in store for you, so without further ado, let's get on with the music." he said as the crowd cheered and they began to play. They played their usual hard rock music and the place exploded into applause each time. "We're almost out of here, but before we go I would like to play one more song. I wrote this song for my beautiful girlfriend Ashley. For those of you who don't know her, she's the gorgeous blond up front with the loudest mouth." he said laughing as Maureen, Joanne and Collins raised her hands in the air and she laughed along. "Baby, this is for you. It's called I'm With You." he continued as he began to play her song. She stood just as she did the night before. She cried as he sung to her. She felt his words and his emotions. She couldn't believe that she had only known this man for a week. Her feelings for him were growing with every moment they spent together.

"He is a vision, isn't he?" Joanne said putting her arm around a crying Ashley.

"Yes he is." she said wiping her eyes as the tears continued to fall.

"Hey Baby girl. You are one lucky girl for Roger to have written such a beautiful song for you." Collins said with his arm around her shoulders.

"I know." she said smiling at him as Roger winked at her finishing the song.

"Thank you and good night." he said as he took his guitar off and put it on it's stand before going to Ashley. "Again?" he asked half laughing as he held her close.

"I know. Pathetic, huh?" she laughed back putting her head in his chest.

"Not pathetic. Cute." he answered as he held her close.

"Oh stop." she said as he rubbed her back.

"I think it's nice that things touch you so deeply. I guess it's the writer in you. I can relate." he said as he brought her outside.

"Hey guys, sorry to interrupt, but we're gonna head out. Great show Roger. I can't get over that song. You did a great job on it. If you feel like it, we're gonna be at Sunday morning breakfast if you guys want to join us." Joanne said smiling at them.

"Thanks Jo. Thanks for coming guys. We really appreciate it. We'll see about tomorrow morning." Roger said saying goodbye to his friends.

"Bye guys. I had fun tonight." Ashley told them hugging them goodbye.

"We did too Baby girl. Take care." Collins said smiling down at her as he hugged her.

"Wanna go home Baby?" Roger said as Joanne, Maureen and Collins left the club.

"Yeah, I do." she said smiling up at him as he held her close.

"Let me just get my guitar and say goodbye to the guys and we'll go." he told her kissing her head before leaving the club holding is guitar in one hand and Ashley in the other.


	7. Chapter 7

"Baby, why do you have to go?" Roger asked from the bed as Ashley got dressed.

"Because we have work tomorrow and like you said last Sunday, I can't wear my boyfriends sweats to the clinic." she said laughing as she smiled down at him.

"I know you're right. But I hate when you have to go home." he told her propping himself up on his elbow.

"Me too." she said leaning down to kiss him as he pulled her down again.

"You aren't going. That's it. I'm keeping you." he said holding her down as she giggled.

"I have an idea. Why don't you come home with me and you can ride the train back when I go to work tomorrow?" she said looking up at him as his eyes lit up.

"That's a great idea Baby." he said kissing her before he got up.

"We should call Mark and Kelly. Mark can stay over an extra night too and we'll go in together." Ashley said laughing as Roger began to get dressed.

"Good idea. I just want to throw a couple of things in a bag." he said smiling at her as she got up from the bed.

"OK." she said smiling as she went out into the living area to the phone. "Kel, it's me... No, everything's great. I mean really great. How about you and Mark?... good. Listen, Roger's coming home with me. This way you and Mark can spend another night together and they can ride the train in with us in the morning... Really? Great... OK see ya in a bit... Bye." she said hanging up the phone.

"Are they expecting us?" Roger asked coming up behind her wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Yeah, they are. Maybe next weekend you can spend the weekend at my place and Mark and Kelly can stay here and spend some time with Collins, Maureen and Joanne?" she suggested smiling up at him.

"I would love that. I can go home with you after the club." he told her smiling at her.

"Yeah, maybe we can go to the karaoke bar on saturday night." she suggested as he turned her to face him.

"You go to karaoke?" he asked smiling down at her.

"Yeah, I don't sing, but I go." she said leaning up to kiss him.

"That would be cool. Can I meet your parents?" he asked as her expression turned serious.

"You want to meet my parents?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, why not?" he told her looking down at her.

"Roger, we've only been dating a week. Are you sure you're ready to meet my parents?" she asked with her arms around his neck.

"Next week it'll be 2 weeks, and Ash I care about you. I want to meet your parents." he told her leaning down to kiss her.

"Are you sure? Because once you meet the parents, there's no going back." she told him smiling.

"I don't want to turn back." he whispered holding her close.

"Ok then. You stay at my place next week and you meet my parents." she said as he caressed her head.

"OK. Now let's get out of here." he said kissing her head before they headed out of the loft. As they rode the train from the village to Queens, they talked. Ashley told Roger about her family and Roger told her about his. Both of them. When they arrived in Queens, they got off of the train and walked the 2 blocks to Ashley and Kelly's apartment.

"Think we should knock first?" Ashley asked as they climbed the 2 flights of stairs up to the apartment.

"Um, yeah. I don't want a repeat of last weekend." Roger said following her up the stairs as she looked back at him laughing.

"Oh yeah. That was funny." she said laughing.

"Easy for you to say. You weren't the one who saw Mark in his boxers." Roger said smiling up at her.

"You told me to stay in the kitchen behind the counter." Ashley said as they reached the top of the stairs.

"Well, I didn't want anything to happen to you." he said sweeping her into his arms and kissing her.

"You were so protective." she said smiling up at him.

"That's the way I am. I care about you and I don't want anything to happen to you." he said kissing her head.

"Well, I don't want anything to happen to you either." she said smiling up at him before knocking on the apartment door. "Kel, Mark. We're home." she called out.

"Come on in Ash. We're in the living room watching TV." Kelly called out as she and Mark lay on the couch in each other's arms.

"Hey guys. How was your weekend?" Mark asked holding Kelly.

"Great. Roger had to play last night because the other band couldn't make it and he did my song again." Ashley said excitedly as Roger put their bags by Ashley's room.

"She cried again, didn't she?" Kelly asked smiling up at them.

"Of course." Roger said laughing as he went back over to Ashley and put his arms around her.

"Stop teasing me you two." she told them looking up at Roger.

"I'm not teasing you. I think it's cute." Roger said kissing her head.

"You have to think it's cute. She's your girlfriend." Mark said laughing as Kelly buried her face in his chest laughing.

"So what?" Roger said holding her close.

"Are you guys hungry? We were thinking of ordering chinese?" Kelly said looking up.

"Yeah, we haven't eaten since..." Roger said trying to think.

"Breakfast this morning with Collins, Maureen and Joanne." Ashley told him smiling at him.

"What were you two doing all day?" Mark teased as Roger looked at him.

"Nothing you two weren't doing." Roger said as Ashley laughed.

"Why don't you guys go? Just get some pork fried rice and a few egg rolls. I wanna give Roger the tour." Ashley said reaching down for Roger's hand.

"OK sweetie. We'll be right back." Kelly said smiling at them as she and Mark got up to leave.

"Is this your room?" Roger asked as Ashley led him into a pink bedroom. It was the pinkest room he had ever seen. There was pink paint on the walls, pink sheets and blankets, pink phone, pink hamper, and pink furniture.

"Yeah. Do you like it?" she asked smiling up at him.

"It's so... Pink." he said looking around.

"Well I like pink." she said laughing as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I can see that." he said laughing as he leaned down to kiss her.

"They should be gone a little while. Do you want to christen my bed?" she asked smiling up at him.

"Have you ever known me to say no to you?" he answered leaning down to sweep her into his arms before carrying her to the bed.

"Well we've only been sleeping together for 2 days, but no. You haven't." she answered leaning up to kiss him passionately. As Roger and Ashley began to make love they kissed each other lovingly.

"You know Ash. This has been the greatest week of my life." Roger told her caressing her face as they lay in each other's arms.

"Mine too Roger." she told him looking up as he kissed her head.

"Guys come on out. Dinner." Kelly called out as she brought the food into the kitchen and she and Mark began setting the table.

"Sweetie, we have to get up." Ashley said playing with his chest hair.

"I don't wanna. I like it here." he said kissing her head.

"But Roger, our food's here and I'm starving." she said getting up and putting her pajama pants and a tank top on.

"Oh come on back to bed Baby." he whined as she laughed.

"Roger, we're gonna need our energy for what I have planned.." she said seductively.

"You have a point." he said jumping out of bed as he slipped back into his jeans and threw on his white tank top.

"I thought you'd see it my way." she said as he picked her up and carried her out of the bedroom.

"So what were you guys doing while we were gone?" Mark teased looking at Roger's hair, which was a mess.

"Shut up Cohen." Roger said smiling at him as he let Ashley down so they could eat.

"So Kel, me and Roger were thinking we could switch next weekend. You guys stay in the loft and we'll stay here. I wanted to take Roger to the Clubhouse saturday night." Ashley said eating her egg roll.

"Roger's gonna do karaoke?" Kelly asked laughing.

"Sure, I mean I sing in a band, Kel. Karaoke'll be fun." Roger said eating his pork fried rice.

"This I have to see. Maybe we can all stay here next weekend and just alternate the week after that?" Mark suggested looking up at Kelly.

"Yeah, that'll be fun." Kelly said smiling at them.

"OK that's what we'll do. But we got the apartment the next weekend and you guys stay at the loft." Ashley told them smiling.

"Cool. Deal." Kelly said as Mark reached over to caress her cheek.

"I'll bring my camera." he said smiling at Roger.

"Oh great. Then that means you have to sing Ash." Roger said smiling at Ashley.

"We'll see." she said smiling at him.

"She'll never sing. She gets too nervous to sing in front of people. Ash doesn't sing at karaoke. She observes." Kelly told him smiling at them.

"We'll see." Roger said caressing Ashley's hand.

"Anyway, mom called. She wanted to see if you were back from Roger's place yet." Kelly said drinking her diet soda.

"I should call her after we eat. She'll never leave me alone if I don't." Ashley said smiling at her.

"What do you mean?" Roger asked looking over at her.

"Me and my mom are really close. She was probably calling to see how my weekend with you went." Ashley said smiling at him.

"Oh? You told mom about me?" he asked excitedly.

"Of course I did." she said eating her fried rice.

"Yeah, I think the words she used to describe you were 'hot, gorgeous, amazing and incredibly talented.'" Kelly said laughing.

"Thanks Kel." Ashley said covering her face embarrassed.

"What? You think I'm all those things?" Roger said teasingly.

"Among other things. Yeah." she said looking up at him.

"Anyway, Mark and I are gonna go to bed. Can you guys clean up?" Kelly said throwing hers and Mark's paper plates and plastic forks out.

"Sure Kel. Good night you two." Ashley said as they went into the bedroom.

"Come on. Let's get this cleaned up. I wanna get you back into bed." he told her kissing her head.

"I love that idea." she said leaning up to kiss him.

"I thought you would." he said laughing as he began putting the leftover chinese food away as Ashley through out the other plates and utensils.


	8. Chapter 8

"Come on Baby, you're gonna be late for work." Roger yelled from the kitchen as he made his and Sara's coffee.

"I'm coming. Kel, Mark are you guys almost ready?" Ashley called out coming out of the bathroom from putting her make up on.

"We've been ready. It was you and Roger who wouldn't get out of bed." Kelly said coming out of her room with Mark.

"Yeah, yeah. Well we have to go now." she told them going into the kitchen for her coffee.

"Your coffee is ready Baby." Roger said handing her her travel mug.

"Thank you Sweetie." she said leaning up to kiss him.

"No problem." he said smiling at her.

"Come on you two." Mark said as he and Kelly opened the apartment door.

"We're coming." Ashley said grabbing her pocket book as Roger grabbed his duffle bag.

"So what do you think of Queens Roger?" Kelly asked smiling at Roger as they walked to the train station.

"I like it. It's nice." he said smiling at Ashley.

"You're still coming for lunch, right?" Ashley asked as they got on the train.

"Of course. I can't go one day without seeing my girl." he said wrapping his arm around her as they sat down.

"Good. Because I can't go one day without seeing you either." she said leaning over to kiss him.

"You guys are something else." Kelly said sitting with Mark's arm around her.

"What are you talking about?" Ashley asked smiling at her.

"You know what I'm talking about. You two. I mean you've been dating a week and you act like you can't live without each other." she said laughing.

"Whatever." Ashley said laughing as Roger caressed her cheek with his hand.

"So I'll see you at lunch?" Roger said as the train approached his stop.

"You better." she said smiling at him before leaning in for a long, deep kiss.

"You will." he said caressing her cheek again.

"OK you two. Roger, let's go." Mark said smiling at them.

"OK, I'm coming." Roger said kissing Ashley again. "Bye." he said laughing.

"Bye." she replied laughing with him as Mark dragged him off of the train.

"So you guys look like you're falling for each other." Mark said smiling at Roger as he watched the train pull out.

"We are." Roger said quietly as he left the station to go home.

"You love her, don't you?" Mark asked as they walked home.

"Yeah, I do." Roger said shoving his hands into his pockets.

"You didn't tell her yet?" Mark asked looking up at him.

"No, but I will. I'm not gonna make the same mistake I made with Mimi. I don't want to waste any time with her. It's bad enough our relationship is gonna be cut short as it is. I don't want to cut it even shorter." Roger told him as they walked home.

"Good, I'm glad. You guys make a great couple." Mark told him as they approached the building.

"Thanks." he said smiling at him.

"Do you want some coffee?" Mark asked looking at Roger going to the phone.

"Nah, it's cool I had some at Ashley's remember?" he answered picking up the phone.

"Who are you calling?" Mark asked looking at him confused.

"I wanna send Ash some flowers. You know, to thank her for this weekend." he told him smiling at him.

"Are you serious?" Mark asked smiling at him.

"Yes Mark. I'm serious." he said dialing the number of the florist from the phone book.

"That's sweet Roger. She'll really like that." he told him smiling as he started towards his room.

"Hey, I'd like to send flowers to the NYU Downtown Outpatient Clinic... I want a dozen different pink flowers delivered to Ashley McCoy... Yeah, I want a card. I want it to say 'Ash, Had a great time this weekend. This is only the beginning, Baby. Love Roger. No wait. My love Roger... Yeah, thanks. Yeah, I'll be down in a little while to pay for it... My name is Roger Davis... OK thanks." he said hanging up the phone. "Mark, I'll be back in a little while. I gotta pay the florist." he said running out the door.

"OK Rog." he yelled from his room as Roger left.

"I have a delivery for Ashley McCoy." a delivery man said coming in with a bouquet of pink flowers.

"Ash, you got a delivery. Looks like flowers from that hot rock star boyfriend of yours." Reisha, another nurse teased as Ashley came to the front desk.

"Oh my goodness. What did Roger do?" she said taking the flowers.

"Looks like he had a nice weekend." Reisha said smiling at her as Ashley looked at the card.

"I can't believe he did this." Ashley said opening the envelope.

"What does it say?" she asked as Ashley read it smiling.

"He's just thanking me a nice weekend." she said reading it before holding it to her chest smiling.

"Looks like it says more than that." she teased as Ashley looked up.

"Maybe." Ashley said laughing as she put the card back in the envelope and putting the flowers in a vase from the lounge.

"It's nice to see you so in love with such a great guy." Reisha said as Ashley looked up at her.

"Who says I'm in love with him?" she asked coyly.

"That smile on your face. It's so obvious Ash." she said leaning in the doorway.

"Yeah, well I haven't told him yet." Ashley said admiring the flowers.

"Do you think he's in love with you too?" she asked approaching Ashley.

"I think so. But I don't want to rush him. He's been through a lot when it comes to relationships and I really don't want to sabotage this with him." Ashley told her putting the vase on the counter and turning to her.

"Well he sent you flowers, so I think that means he is definitely in love with you." she said hugging her friend.

"I know." she said before they needed to return to the front desk. Ashley grabbed the vase and brought it to the front desk area. "I'm gonna call Roger." she said picking up the phone.

"OK, I'll give you some privacy." the woman said smiling as she went back to the exam rooms.

"Hey... I got my flowers... I love them...You are amazing. Thank you so much... I know. I had a great weekend too. OK, I'll see you in a bit... OK Bye." she said hanging up the phone.

"So what did he say?" Reisha asked smiling at her.

"Reish, were you spying on me?" Ashley asked turning to her.

"No, but what did he say?" she pried further laughing.

"He said he wanted to do something special for me and since he didn't know what kind of flower I liked, he wanted to send me a bunch of pink ones since he knows how much I like pink." she told her laughing.

"He's been in your room, hasn't he?" Reisha said laughing with her.

"Yeah, he came home with me last night." Ashley said smiling at her.

"Really?" Reisha said folding her arms.

"He wrote me a song and sung it to me friday night." Ashley said smiling at her.

"He did what?" she asked smiling at her.

"It was the most beautiful song I've ever heard Reish. I cried." Ashley told her as tears formed in her eyes.

"Of course you cried. It's the artist in you." Reisha said smiling as she hugged her.

"Oh stop. I'm not that bad." Ashley said wiping her eyes.

"Yes you are." Reisha said pulling away laughing.

"Well Roger thinks it's cute." Ashley said laughing.

"Of course he thinks it's cute. He's in love with you." Reisha said smiling at her.

"Whatever." Ashley said smiling at her as a patient walked in.

"Hey Ash, your boyfriend is here." Reisha said as Ashley sat at the desk filling out paperwork.

"Hi. Is it noon already?" she asked smiling at him before leaning over the counter to kiss him.

"Almost. I just couldn't wait to see you." he said caressing her cheek.

"If you want to go to lunch early, you can. I'm here." Reisha said smiling at them.

"Are you sure?" Ashley asked looking over at her.

"I'm positive Ash. Go. It's OK." Reisha said smiling wider.

"Thanks. I'll be back in an hour." Ashley said taking her pocketbook out of the desk drawer and leaving the clinic with Roger.

"So you liked the flowers?" he asked as they walked to the diner.

"I loved them. I loved the note too." Ashley said looking up at him as he walked with his arm around her waist.

"Well I wanted to tell you how I felt and you know I do it better in writing." he said looking down at her.

"It was so sweet." she said as he stopped her in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Ash, I'm falling in love with you." he said smiling down at her.

"I'm falling in love with you too Roger." Ashley said looking up at him.

"What I mean to say Ash, is that I love you." he said wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I love you too Roger." she said smiling as she leaned up to kiss him.

"Yeah?" he said smiling at her.

"Yeah, I do." she said holding him close.

"I love you Ashley." he said kissing her head.

"I love you too Roger." she said pulling back from him smiling at him.

"Let's go eat." he said leaning down to kiss her again.

"OK." she said as they went into the diner to eat lunch. They didn't eat much. Mostly they just stared at each other lovingly.

"So I'll see you later?" Roger asked standing outside the clinic.

"I thought you had to work later?" she asked looking up at him.

"Oh shit, you're right. I'm sorry, I just want to see you." Roger said looking down.

"It's OK. I want to see you too. Why don't I stop in the bar before I go home?" she said running her fingers through his hair.

"I would love that." he said smiling down at her.

"OK, so I will see you later." she said leaning up to kiss him.

"OK. I love you Ash." he said holding her face in his hands.

"I love you too Roger." she said smiling at him before kissing him again and going back into the clinic.

"Looks like someone had a nice lunch with her sexy rock star boyfriend." Reisha said smiling at her.

"He told me he loved me." Ashley said smiling at her.

"No way. Did I call it or what?" Reisha said excitedly.

"I'm gonna stop by the bar before I go home. He wants to see me." Ashley said happily.

"You two make such a great couple." Reisha said smiling at her.

"Oh shut up." Ashley said laughing embarrassed.


	9. Chapter 9

"Roger." Ashley exclaimed excitedly as she, Mark and Kelly rounded the corner to the club.

"Ash, Baby." he said running towards her to pick her up and greet her.

"I missed you today." she said as they kissed over and over again.

"I missed you too." he told her holding her close.

"Oh God. I need a drink." Kelly joked as she and Mark went inside.

"I think we ran them off." Ashley said laughing as she buried her face in Roger's neck.

"That's OK. I have what I need right here." he said still holding her.

"I love you Roger." she said kissing him again.

"I love you too Ash." he said caressing her head.

"OK, OK straight people, there are homosexuals in the area." Collins teased as he, Maureen and Joanne rounded the corner.

"Sorry." Ashley said smiling at them.

"Rog, we're on in 5." Terry said coming out of the bar.

"Thanks Terry." Roger said putting Ashley down.

"Hey Ash." Terry said lighting a cigarette.

"Hi Terry." she said smiling still in Roger's arms.

"So Rog, are you gonna do Ashley's song again?" Collins asked smoking his cigarette.

"Yeah, of course. She loves it." he said pulling her close.

"Well we're gonna go inside and find Mark and Kelly. We'll see you guys in there. Good luck Roger." Joanne said smiling at them as they entered the club.

"OK. I better be getting inside. I love you Ashley. Remember, I'm singing for you." Roger told her holding her face in his hands.

"I know. I love you too. Good luck Sweetie." she said leaning in to kiss him before they went into the club.

"Hey as you all know I'm Roger Davis and we're The Boho Knights." Roger started as he strapped on his guitar.

"Go Roger." Ashley yelled cheering him on.

"Hey Baby. We have a great show in store for you tonight. So let's get on with the music." he said smiling as he winked at Ashley and they began playing. The crowd exploded in applause as usual. As the show came to a close, Roger began to slow down the music. "Now I wanna sing the song I wrote for my girl. Ash, I love you. It's called I'm with you." he said before singing the song he wrote for Ashley.

"Again?" Collins asked putting his arm around her shoulders as she began to cry again.

"Of course." she said watching him intently.

"Thank you and good night." he said taking his guitar off and jumping off stage to be with Ashley.

"I love you Roger." she said jumping into his arms.

"I love you too Ash." he said holding her in his arms.

"OK you two. We know you're in love, now can we drink?" Kelly said smiling at them.

"We'll have one drink and then me and Ash are gonna head back to Queens." Roger said smiling at them as they went to the bar.

"OK." Maureen said smiling at them. They drank their beer and laughed with everyone.

"Do you wanna head home Baby?" Roger asked sitting on the bar stool with Ashley propped in front of him. His arms were around her waist.

"Yeah, let's go." she said leaning back to kiss him.

"We're gonna get going guys. We have to ride the train back to Queens." Roger said getting up to put his jacket on.

"OK guys. Have fun this weekend." Maureen said smiling at Roger and Ashley.

"Thanks. Mark, Kelly you guys are coming tomorrow, right? Ash wants to go to karaoke." Roger said picking up his guitar case.

"Yeah, we'll be there. We wouldn't miss it." Mark said smiling as they said their goodbyes and left the club.

"Alone at last." Ashley said pulling Roger into a tight embrace as she leaned up to kiss him.

"I love you Ash." Roger said caressing her cheek.

"I love you too Roger." she said smiling up at him before they continued walking to the train station.

"Are you nervous about me meeting your parents?" Roger asked holding her in his arms as they rode the train. They were the only ones in the train car.

"No. My parents know everything about you. They'll like you." Ashley said smiling up at him.

"Everything?" Roger asked looking down at her.

"Yes, Roger. Everything. I love you. I'm not ashamed of you because of your HIV." she said sitting up to face him.

"I'm glad, because I love you too Ash." he said leaning over to kiss her.

"Roger, I'm a nurse and my parents know I'm not stupid." she said caressing his stubbled cheek.

"No, you're definitely not stupid." he said pulling her into an embrace.

"Roger, I didn't mean it like that." she said pulling away to look at him.

"I know Baby. Don't worry it's OK. I know what you meant." he said caressing her cheek smiling at her.

"I mean, I know you're not stupid Roger. I mean you're far from stupid. I just meant..." she started looking hin his piercing green eyes.

"Baby, it's OK. I know I was careless." he said wrapping his arms around each other.

"I love you Roger." she said burying her face in his neck.

"I love you too Ash." he said smiling as he caressed her hair.

"This is us." she said looking up as they approached their stop.

"I can't wait to get my girl home." he said kissing her head before they got off.

"I can't wait to get home." she said as they walked the 2 blocks to the apartment.

"Do you need anything before we go home?" he asked smiling down at her.

"Nope I have everything I need." she said smiling up at him.

"You know what I mean." he said laughing.

"Yeah, I know." she laughed back as they went home.

"Mmmm, I love you Ashley." he said kissing her outside the apartment door.

"I love you too Roger." she said struggling to open the door.

"Need help?" he asked laughing.

"No, I'm good." she said smiling as she kissed him again. "See, I got it." she said opening the door.

"Good thing. I couldn't wait another second to get you inside." he said picking her up into his arms and carrying her into the apartment and into the bedroom.

"Me neither." she said kissing him as he gently laid her down on the bed and they began to remove each other's clothes.

"I love you Ash." he said taking the condoms out of his jacket before disguarding it by the side of the bed.

"I love you too Roger." she said as they began to make love.

"So are you gonna sing?" Roger asked her holding her in his arms.

"No, I never sing." she said propping her chin on his chest.

"Why not? You have a great voice." he said caressing her cheek.

"Roger, you know why. I choke." she said looking up at him.

"But you sang in front of me." he told her leaning down to kiss her.

"You're different." she said laying her head back on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat.

"How?" he asked caressing her bare shoulders.

"Because you make me feel so comfortable. You always did. Ever since that first night. I mean, I felt comfortable telling you that I ike boy bands. I don't tell just anyone that." she told him holding him closer.

"So sing to me again. I want to sing with you." he said looking down at her.

"We'll see." she said smiling up at him.

"OK. I love you Ash." he said kissing her head.

"I love you too Roger." she said as she fell asleep in his arms.

"Good morning gorgeous." Roger said carrying a tray with a plate of eggs and bacon and 2 cups of coffee.

"Mmmm Roger, what time is it?" she asked as her eyes creeped open.

"It's 9:30 Baby. Good morning." he said leaning down to kiss her as he put the tray on the bed.

"Well good morning. Breakfast in bed? Be careful. A girl could get used to this." she said smiling at him as she sat up bringing the blanket up with her to cover her bare chest.

"That's OK. I'll risk it." he said smiling as he smiled back.

"I didn't know you cooked." she said picking up the fork as she began to eat.

"You'd be surprised." he said as she took a bite.

"Mmm, Roger this is really good." she said with her mouth half full with scrambled eggs.

"Thanks. It's a Davis special." he told her laughing as she took another fork full and fed it to him.

"You made me a Davis special? I feel so honored." she said laughing.

"Well I love you. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you." he said leaning in to kiss her.

"I love you too." she said smiling at him as she picked up a piece of bacon.

"What time do you want to go to your parents house?" he asked taking a sip of his coffee.

"Well my mom invited us for lunch." she said eating her bacon.

"So we have time?" he asked seductively.

"I always make time for you." she said smiling at him as she leaned in to kiss him.

"Mmmm, you're too good to me." he said kissing her again. He took the tray off of the bed and set it on the floor as he climbed back in to bed with her and they began to make love again.

"I love laying here with you." she said laying in his arms.

"Well I love laying with you too. I hate sleeping without you." he said kissing her head.

"So why don't you move in with me here?" she asked propping her chin on his chest.

"Are you serious?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, why not? I mean we love each and we hate being without each other." she said sitting up to face him.

"You have no idea how much I hate being without you. But what about Mark and Kelly?" Roger asked sitting up.

"They'll be fine with it. I want to be with you Roger." she said smiling at him.

"I want to be with you too Ash." he said pulling her into an embrace.

"So is that a yes?" she asked holding him.

"Yeah, it is." he said smiling as she squealed happily.

"Oh Roger. I love you." she said knocking him down on the bed as she lay on top of him.

"I love you too Ash. So much." he said kissing her again and they began to make love again.

"We have to start getting ready to go my parents house." she said laying on him.

"OK. Are you gonna tell your parents about me moving in?" he asked leaning up to kiss her before they got out of bed.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" she said smiling at him.

"No reason. It's just, won't they think it's fast for us to be moving in together?" he asked as they walked to the bathroom to take a shower.

"Roger, I'm 25. If I want my boyfriend to move in with me, I can." she said laughing as they turned the shower on.

"OK just asking." he said climbing in with her.

"I think it's cute that you're worried about my parents." she said smiling at him as he wrapped her arms around his neck as they stood naked in the shower.

"Well I love you Ash. I don't want to cause any friction between you and your parents." he said kissing her as the water ran down her naked body.

"I know." she said standing on her tippy toes to kiss him. He helped her wash her hair and she helped him wash his.

"Are you ready Baby?" Roger asked tying his boots.

"The question is, are you ready?" she asked coming back into the bedroom from cleaning up in the kitchen.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be ready?" he asked looking up at her.

"Well, you're about to meet your girlfriends parents and we're gonna tell them that you're moving in with me. I would say that's a big deal." she said smiling at him.

"Should I be nervous?" he asked standing up.

"Of course not. My parents are very cool. You'll like them. And they like you already from everything I told them about you." she said wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

"Let's go Baby. I don't want to be late. That wouldn't be a very good impression." he said holding her in his arms.

"I'm late all the time. They're used to it." she said smiling at him.

"Well I don't want to be late." he said smiling back as they left the apartment.


	10. Chapter 10

"Mom, dad, we're here." Ashley called out entering house.

"We're in the kitchen, sweetie." an older woman answered as they walked towards the voice.

"Ash." Roger whispered stopping her.

"What's the matter Roger?" she asked looking up at him.

"I love you." he said leaning down to kiss her.

"I love you too Roger. Don't worry. It'll be fine." she said smiling up at him.

"OK." he said as they continued to the kitchen.

"Hi sweetie. This must be Roger. It's nice to meet you." the older woman said smiling at him.

"It's nice to meet you too, Mrs. McCoy." he said smiling at her.

"It's nice to meet you Roger." an older man said holding his hand out to Roger.

"It's nice to meet you too, Mr. McCoy." Roger said as Ashley smiled up at him.

"So, I hope we didn't interrupt what you kids had planned today." Mrs. McCoy said putting the food on the table.

"No, you didn't. We wanted to come over." Roger said nervously.

"Mom, dad. We have something to tell you." Ashley said as Roger looked down at her surprised that she was telling them before lunch.

"What is it sweetie?" Mrs. McCoy asked looking up at her.

"Roger and I are moving in together." she said smiling at them.

"That's great sweetie. Congratulations." Mrs. McCoy said much to Roger's surprise.

"Really?" Roger said as Mr. & Mrs. McCoy laughed.

"Yeah, it's great. I mean, you two are in love. Why shouldn't you live together?" she said as Mr. McCoy smiled at her.

"Thanks mom. Roger was afraid you would hate him." Ashley said smiling up at Roger.

"There's one thing you have to know about Ashley, son. She does what's in her heart. She loves you and you love her. That means a lot to us." Mr. McCoy said smiling at him.

"I do love her, sir." he said smiling at him.

"Trust me, we can see that. So are you moving to Queens or is Ash moving with you in the East Village?" he asked sitting at the kitchen table.

"I'm moving here. I like Queens." he said becoming more comfortable.

"Good. We like having her close. At least we know she's eating." Mrs. McCoy said smiling at them.

"What do you mean?" Roger asked as Ashley sat next to him and buried her face in her hands.

"Go ahead mom, tell him." she said laughing.

"Ashley doesn't exactly cook." Mrs. McCoy said laughing.

"That's OK. I so." he said smiling at Ashley.

"Tell him why I don't cook mom." Ashley said looking up at Roger. "Just remember you love me." she said laughing.

"Well Ashley doesn't do very well in the kitchen. She almost set the house on fire when she was 16." she said as Roger put his arm around her laughing.

"How did you do that?" he asked as she pointed to her mom.

"She forgot to put water a pot to make macaroni and cheese and burned the macaroni." she said as she, Mr. McCoy, and Roger laughed.

"Well, in my defense, it doesn't actually say on the box to put water in the pot first." she said burying her head in Roger's chest.

"That's OK Baby, I'll take care of you." he said kissing her head.

"Well she usually eats pizza, chinese food or comes over here for dinner. You are more than welcomed to also Roger. You don't have to come with Ashley. You can come any time." Mrs. McCoy said smiling at Roger.

"Thanks Mrs. McCoy. I may take you up on that." he told her smiling.

"Now let's eat lunch. I made plenty." Mrs. McCoy said as she began to dish out lunch.

"I love you Ash." Roger whispered smiling at her.

"I love you too Roger." she said smiling back as they began eating lunch.

"So Roger, we hear you wrote a song for Ashley. We'd love to hear it sometime." Mr. McCoy said drinking his iced tea.

"I'll have to play it for you." Roger answered as Ashley smiled up at him.

"It's the most beautiful song daddy." Ashley told him smiling.

"Well, we look forward to hearing it then." Mrs. McCoy said enjoying how happy her daughter was.

"Mark and Kelly." Ashley said looking up at Roger.

"What?" Roger asked putting his iced tea down.

"Mark and Kelly, we have to call them and tell them we're moving in together." Ashley said starting to laugh.

"I thought we could surprise them. You know, mess with them a little bit." he said smiling down at her.

"Oh you guys are so made for each other." Mr. McCoy said laughing.

"What? I'm not that bad." Ashley said as Roger put his arm around her.

"Oh really? The time you told your sister you forgot to pick up her prom dress from the dry cleaners and it was sitting in the back of your closet the whole time. Or the time your mother sent you to get the Italian bread for Christmas eve and you hid it in the downstairs pantry and told her that they didn't have anymore." Mr. McCoy told her as everyone laughed.

"You did that?" Roger said laughing as he looked down at Ashley.

"What? A girl's not allowed to have fun every once in a while?" she said laughing as she looked up at him.

"That's my girl." he laughed leaning over to kiss her head.

"Yeah, Ash always was one to have a little fun at other people's expense." Mrs. McCoy said smiling at them. They looked so cute. Ashley had been through a lot when it came to men, but she had never seen her so happy. Roger brought out a part of her that hadn't been seen in a very long time.

"Well don't torture them too much. I'm sure living with the two of you could not have been easy." Mr. McCoy told them eating his lunch.

"Oh daddy, now that wouldn't be any fun. Being nice." Ashley said smiling at him.

"Ashley Marie, be nice." Mrs. McCoy said as Roger covered his mouth.

"You quit it, Roger Matthew." Ashley said pointing at him.

"Oh, Mark is so dead." Roger said as Ashley laughed.

"Don't blame him. Kelly told me." she said laughing harder.

"Mark is so dead." Roger said as Mr. & Mrs. McCoy laughed watching them.

"Baby, you look great." Roger said smiling at her as she stood in front of the mirror on her dresser.

"You always say that." she said turning around. Her hair swung with her and her eyes were lined in black eyeliner bringing out her bright blue eyes.

"Well you always look great." he told her wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Come on you two. We gotta go." Kelly shouted knocking on the door.

"We'll be there in a minute." Roger shouted as Ashley laughed in his chest.

"We better go. They're getting restless." Ashley said smiling up at him.

"First I wanna do this." he told her leaning down to kiss her.

"I like when you do that." she said wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him close.

"I love you Ash." he told her smiling.

"I love you too Roger." she told him before they turned to leave the room.

"Should we tell them?" he asked before opening the door.

"I thought you wanted to mess with them?" she asked smiling up at him.

"I'm too excited to mess with them. I just want to tell them." he said smiling down at her.

"OK. We'll tell them. But why don't we wait until the morning. We'll tell them over breakfast. I just want to have fun tonight." she told him as he grabbed her around her waist to pull her close.

"Baby, everything is gonna be OK. I promise." he whispered in her ear.

"I know. I just want to have fun tonight. Just the four of us." she told him smiling at him but clearly nervous to tell them.

"OK, if that's what you want. Then that's what we'll do. We'll tell them over breakfast." he told her caressing her hair.

"Thanks Baby." she said leaning up to kiss him.

"Come on guys. It starts in 20 minutes." Mark called out from the other side of the door.

"We're coming. Chill out." Roger yelled smiling down at her. "Am I gonna be singing with my girl tonight?" he asked smiling down at her.

"Maybe." she said smiling back at him as he opened the door.

"What was taking you guys so long?" Kelly asked fluffing her hair.

"We were just talking." Ashley told them smiling up at Roger.

"Yeah, talking. Like we believe that. Knowing you two, you were making out and Ash had to fix her makeup a bunch of times." Kelly said laughing at them.

"For your information, Ashley might sing with me tonight." he told her holding Ashley in his arms.

"Oh my God Ash. I can't believe it. That would be awesome." Kelly told her excitedly before they left the apartment.


	11. Chapter 11

"Good morning sleepy head." Ashley said seeing Roger come out of the bedroom. She was drinking her coffee at the kitchen table with Mark and Kelly.

"Hey Baby. Coffee." he said rubbing his eyes.

"I got it Babe." she said getting up "Are we gonna tell them?" she whispered as he wrapped his arms around her waist kissing her head.

"Yeah." he whispered back before they turned around and returned to the kitchen table.

"Guys, me and Roger want to move in together. Here." Ashley asked as Roger held her hand on top of the table.

"Really, guys that's great." Kelly said smiling at them before getting up to hug Ashley.

"Really? You wouldn't mind?" she asked smiling at her as Mark looked over at Roger. He couldn't get over how happy Roger seemed. He beamed.

"Of course not. This is really great." Mark said smiling at them.

"Thanks Mark." Roger said smiling back at him.

"We were afraid you guys would think we were moving too fast." Ashley told her as Roger put his arm around her.

"Don't worry about it, Ash. It's just nice to see you happy." Kelly said taking her hand.

"Kelly and I were thinking of moving in together too. I mean, her job is so close to the loft and all." he told them smiling at Kelly.

"That's great. Why didn't you say something?" Ashley asked hugging Kelly.

"You guys seemed so happy, we didn't want to take away from your news." Kelly said smiling at her.

"We are so happy for you guys. Listen, why don't I call and see if I can borrow dads Bronco and we can bring your stuff to the loft and pick Roger's stuff up?" Ashley asked as Roger drank his coffee.

"OK. That's a good idea." Kelly said kissing Mark before running into her room to start packing.

"I'm gonna call dad now." Ashley said getting up.

"Hey Baby." Roger said holding her arm.

"What's the matter Roger?" she asked caressing his face.

"I love you." he said tilting his head back.

"I love you too." she said leaning down to kiss him.

"So, you're moving out of the loft?" Mark asked drinking his coffee.

"Are you OK with all of this Mark?" he asked looking over at him.

"Of course I am. Roger, you're happy. Probably happier than I've ever seen you. It's great." Mark said smiling at him.

"Thanks man. Really. I appreciate that. I don't know, I just love her, you know? I mean, I don't have to worry about her dying and I'm not loaded. I can be myself with her and she loves me." he told him leaning on his elbows.

"Roger, you guys are great together. You deserve to be with someone who loves you for you. And who's not sick. Ash has been really good for you. Just like Kelly's been good for me. She got me living." Mark said as Ashley came bouncing back into the kitchen.

"My dad's letting us borrow his truck." she said happily as before leaning down to kiss Roger.

"That's great Ash." Roger said laughing as he put her arms around her.

"I should help Kelly pack. You have no idea how many pairs of shoes she has." Ashley said getting up again and kissing Roger before running into Kelly's room.

"I should call everyone and have them meet us at the loft. We can celebrate us moving in with our girls." Roger said drinking his coffee.

"That's a great idea. How do you think everyone's gonna react to you moving to Queens?" Mark asked looking up at him.

"They'll be happy, right? I mean, I'm happy." he told him smiling.

"Yeah, I mean, they like Ash. This is good for you. Moving in together. Out of he loft. No memories haunting you. You can have your own memories. Just you and Ash." Mark said as Roger got up to walk around the tiny kitchen.

"Yeah, that's what I want. I love her Mark. You have no idea how much I love her. She's amazing. And last night. Oh my God, that was so much fun. She can sing. Dude, could you believe she could sing?" he asked smiling as he leaned against the counter.

"She could match you at times. I was amazed at that. I mean, Kelly told me she could sing, but I never would have guessed she could sing like that." Mark said smiling at him.

"I know. And she looked so beautiful up there, you know? Singing to me like that. Oh man Mark, I don't know. I mean, one minute I'm so scared of getting her sick and the next I can't live without her, you know?" he said sitting down again.

"Yeah, I know Rog. It's called love. Real love." he told him smiling at him.

"Oh shut up. You can't tell me you don't love Kelly." he said smiling at him.

"Yeah, I do. So." he said laughing.

"Shoes and all." Roger said raising his coffee cup to toast.

"Oh great. Shoes." Mark said laughing as he raised his mug to Roger's.

"Remember Maureen and all her leather pants? God, she had more leather than the West Coast chapter of the Hells Angels." Roger said laughing.

"Tell me about it. Remember when she bought me that pair of leather pants?" Mark said laughing.

"Yeah, I've been trying to get that image out of my head for 5 years." Roger said laughing as Ashley entered the room.

"What's so funny?" she said putting her arms around Roger's neck.

"Mark in leather pants." Roger said tilting his head back to invite her for a kiss.

"That sounds frightening. No offense Mark." she said laughing after obliging Roger.

"It was. But I got over it. Somewhat." he told her laughing.

"How's Kelly doing with the packing?" Mark asked looking up her.

"OK. She's almost done with her shoes." she said laughing as she sat down next to Roger.

"I better help her." Mark said getting up.

"Good luck." Ashley said leaning in to kiss Roger. "Hi Babe." she said smiling at him.

"Hey. Things are a little crazy this morning, huh?" he asked caressing her cheek.

"That's OK. They'll settle down. Then it'll just be you and me." she said kissing him again.

"How would you like to go back to bed for a little while?" he asked playing with her hair.

"I would love that." she said as he leaned in to pick her up before going into the bedroom.

"I love you Ash." he told her as they entered the bedroom.

"I love you too Roger." she said with her arms around his neck as he laid her down gently on the bed.

"I know." he whispered as he leaned down to kiss her. He slid his hand under her pajama shirt when there was a knock on the door.

"Ash, Roger are you guys in there?" Mark asked through the door.

"Where the hell else does he think we'd be?" he whispered as Ashley laughed.

"Yeah Mark, we're in here. Hang on." she said fixing her shirt before getting up to open the door.

"Sorry to interrupt. Kelly and I were thinking we could go for breakfast before she finishes up packing." he said as Roger got off of the bed.

"OK that sounds cool. Then we can pick up the truck on the way back here." Roger said leaning on Ashley's shoulder.

"OK. Just let us get dressed and we'll be out in a minute." Ashley said looking back at Roger before closing the door.

"You know, when we live by ourselves we won't have to worry about be rudely interrupted." he said leaning down to kiss her neck.

"Roger, we have to get ready to go to breakfast." she said running her fingers through his hair.

"I'm not hungry." he said picking her up by her waist and laying her on the bed.

"Baby, they're waiting for us." she said giggling.

"Do we have to?" he asked looking into her beautiful blue eyes.

"Yes we do. You're moving in with me and Kel is moving in with Mark. We really should have one last breakfast as roommates." she told him smiling up at him.

"I hate it when you're right." he said leaning down to kiss her.

"I know, but I am often." she teased kissing him again before sliding out from under him so they could get changed.

"I love you Ash." he said leaning on his elbows.

"I love you too Roger." she said smiling down at him before getting dressed.


	12. Chapter 12

"OK, I can't believe I'm about to say these words in the same sentence, but Roger, good luck in Queens." Collins said as everyone laughed.

"Yeah, I never thought I'd leave the East Village, but Ashley's in Queens and I want to be with her." he said smiling as everyone raised their glasses in toast.

"Well, it's good to see you happy." Collins said smiling at them.

"I am Collins. Don't worry about that." Roger told him smiling down at Ashley.

"We can all see how happy you are Roger." Joanne said smiling at them.

"OK, now is the time we warn Ashley what she's getting into." Mark said laughing as Roger buried his face in Ashley's hair.

"Oh great." he said as Ashley laughed patting his head.

"OK, what am I getting myself into?" she asked laughing at them.

"Roger hates mornings. He is the worst morning person. He's cranky and has been known to throw things at the person waking him up." Collins said laughing.

"And he's got pretty good aim for someone with his eyes closed." Mark said laughing with him.

"Yeah well if you didn't keep talking, I wouldn't be able to follow your voice." Roger said laughing as Ashley looked up at him.

"I think I can handle him. What else?" she asked laughing.

"Coffee. It is detrimental to his day. If he doesn't get his coffee in the morning, God help the person who tries to talk to him." Maureen told her laughing.

"And not only because he's cranky. He's incoherent without his coffee too." Joanne said laughing.

"And that incessant guitar playing. Oh my God. It'll drive you nuts." Mark said as Kelly buried her face in Mark's chest laughing.

"You guys think you're so funny, don't you?" Roger said as Ashley laughed.

"That's OK Baby, I still love you." she said leaning over to kiss him.

"We're kidding Ash. We're gonna miss having him around all the time." Collins said smiling at them.

"But not about how cranky he is in the morning. He really is a bear to wake up." Mark said trying to look at her with a serious face.

"He's not when I wake him up." she said laughing as he brought her close.

"Well Mark doesn't like kissing my face. He complains about the stubble or something." Roger said laughing as Collins held his hand up to slap him five.

"That was good, man." he told him laughing.

"You are so bad Roger." Ashley said slapping Roger on the chest.

"I know. It's a gift really." he said caressing her arm.

"You think you are so funny, don't you?" she said laughing as she leaned up to kiss him.

"Yes I do." he laughed as he kissed her.

"You two are so cute together. I love it." Maureen said gushing over Roger and Ashley.

"Thanks Maureen." Ashley said laughing as Roger held her close to him.

"Baby, we gotta be going. We have to get your dads truck back." Roger said drinking his soda.

"Are you sure? My dad will understand if you want to hang out with everyone a little longer." she said smiling up at him.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I wanna get moved in with my Baby." he told her smiling down at her.

"OK. We'll see you guys on friday night at the club." Ashley said getting up from her chair.

"Of course. We wouldn't miss it." Collins said going over to hug Ashley goodbye.

"Bye sweetie." she said as he held her tight.

"Take care of him Babygirl, OK?" he whispered as Roger said goodbye to Maureen, Joanne, Mark and Kelly.

"Always. I love him." she said looking up at him.

"I know." he said smiling at her as he kissed her head.

"Collins, we have been over this before, my girlfriend." Roger joked as Collins still held Ashley in his arms.

"I know you're jealous because I'm big, black and cuddly, and she loves me more." he teased smiling down at Ashley.

"Dude, you're gay. Get over it." Roger told him laughing.

"Technicality." he said as Ashley laughed into his chest.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get over here you beautiful black creature." he said laughing as he hugged Collins.

"Ash, take care of him, OK?" Mark told her as he hugged her.

"I will Mark. Don't worry." she told him smiling.

"Listen Rog, you take care of her, OK. She's a keeper." Collins told him hugging him.

"I know she is, Collins. I'm in love with her." he said smiling at him.

"Good. She deserves all of your love." Collins told him patting him on the shoulder.

"She has it." he told him looking over at Ashley saying goodbye to everyone.

"Are you ready?" Ashley asked looking up at Roger as she looked up at him.

"Yeah, Baby. I'm ready. Let's go home." he said wrapping his arms around her as they left the cafe and got in the Bronco that was filled with his stuff.

"I love you Roger." Ashley said as he got in the drivers seat of the truck.

"I love you too Ashley." he said smiling as he leaned over to kiss her. He started the truck and they drove back to Queens. Roger played with the radio as Ashley fell asleep. She looked so beautiful. He couldn't help but smile at her. When they pulled up in front of their apartment, he leaned over to wake her up. "Baby, we're home." he whispered kissing her lips gently.

"Mmmm, did I fall asleep?" she asked groggy.

"Yeah Baby, you did. But we're home now." he said caressing her cheek.

"Home. I like the way that sounds." she said looking up into his gorgeous green eyes.

"Let's get my stuff upstairs so we can get your dads car back." he said smiling at her.

"OK. I love you Roger." she said smiling at him.

"I love you too Ash." he said kissing her one more time before they got out of the truck.


	13. Chapter 13

"Roger, who is this girl?" Ashley asked looking at a picture of a younger Roger with a pretty red head.

"Oh, that's April." he told her as he flipped through another stack of pictures.

"She was pretty. I can't believe how short your hair was." she said smilng at him.

"Yeah, I was going through a punk faze. I grew out of it." he said leaning over to kiss her before showing her another picture.

"Is that Benny?" she asked laughing.

"Yeah, that's when he was living with us. We were all really tight back then." he said smiling down at the pictures. It was before April and the drugs.

"Are you wearing eyeliner?" she asked laughing looking up at him.

"We all wore eyeliner then." he said laughing.

"Oh Baby. You look really hot in those leather pants. Do you have them anymore?" she asked smiling up at him.

"Yeah, somewhere." he said kissing her again.

"Is this Mimi?" she asked showing him a picture with him and small latina woman in a leopard print coat.

"Yeah, that was at New Years a couple of years ago." he said smiling down at the picture.

"You loved her didn't you?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, I did." he said quietly as she leaned up to kiss him.

"I know, Baby." she told him smiling as she caressed his cheek.

"Do you want to see a picture of Angel?" he asked holding a picture in his left hand.

"Yeah." she said excitedly as she sat up straighter.

"This was right after Maureens protest a couple of years ago." he said handing her a picture.

"Wow. He looked amazing." she said smiling at the picture.

"Yeah, he was great for Collins. And everyone else." he said leaning into her looking at the picture.

"I wish I could have met him." she said playing with his hair.

"Me too. He would have loved you, you know." he said looking you at her.

"And I'm sure I would have loved him too. Anyone who makes Collins smile this big, I would love." she said kissing his head.

"Yeah, it really hit him, watching him die the way he did." Roger said looking down sadly.

"I know. I've seen terminal patients. It's a really cruel disease." she said caressing his stubbled cheek.

"Yeah it is." he said looking up at her.

"Roger, you're gonna be OK you know. You're healthy and I will make sure you stay that way for as long as this disease gives you. Everything's gonna be OK." she said leaning down to kiss him.

"I know Baby. I just don't want to leave you." he said smiling up at her.

"And you won't. At least not for a while. You just keep taking your meds, going to the doctor and taking care of ourself and you won't." she said moving her pile of pictures onto the floor.

"I will Baby. I promise. I'll do everything I can to stay here with you for as long as possible." he told her holding her face before kissing her.

"I know you will. Because you love me." she said smiling at him.

"And you love me." he answered bringing her into a deep passionate kiss.

"Yes I do." she said as they kicked the remainder of the pictures off of the bed and began to make love. As they lay in each others arms, they fell asleep. The next morning when the alarm went off Roger woke up first.

"Baby, it's time to get up." he said kissing her face.

"I don't want to. I want to stay here with you." she told him bringing him closer to him.

"No, Baby you have to get up. You have work and I have to go to that interview your dad set me up with." he said caressing her hair.

"Why are you being mean? I thought you'd want to stay with me in bed." she said looking up at him.

"Baby, there is no place else I would rather be then in bed with you for the rest of my life. But you have a job and I want to get one closer to home so I can spend more time with you." he told her kissing her gently on her head.

"I know. I just hate being away from you." she said holding him tight.

"I hate being away from you too Baby, but you have to go to work." he said caressing her cheek.

"OK. I know." she said reluctantly getting out of bed.

"You go in the shower and I'll make your coffee." he told her watching her walk to the bathroom in a tee shirt and pink underpants.

"Thanks Baby." she said running her fingers through her hair. Roger just laughed and went into the kitchen to make the coffee. He felt so domestic. Him making his girls coffee while she got ready for work. It was a far cry from life at the loft. Usually he worked at the bar until midnight and slept until about 10 when he had to get ready to meet Ashley for lunch. I was looking forward to working closer to home, so he would be home at a decent hour. Mr. McCoy had gotten him an interview with a friend of his to manage the bar he owned. He had experience running a bar from his job in the city so he was really excited.

"Baby, your coffee's ready." he told her hearing her come out of the shower.

"OK. Let me just get dressed." she said sorting through her clothes.

"Do you want to come to band practice with me?" he asked handing her a coffee mug.

"Roger, I'm not singing with the band." she said smiling at him as she took her mug.

"But come on, Baby you are so awesome. I want to sing with you." he pleaded sitting on the bed.

"Roger, you know I can't sing in front of people." she told him setting her coffee mug on the dresser.

"You sung karaoke." he told her smiling up at her.

"But Roger, that was different. I mean, it was karaoke and I was singing to you. You're talking about singing in a club with a band. I can't," she told him sitting next to him.

"Baby, you can do it. You can just sing to me." he told her putting his arm around her bare shoulder.

"I have to think about it." she said as he held her close.

"OK Baby. Thanks." he said kissing her head.

"Yeah, yeah, I need to get dressed now." she said kissing him before getting up to put on her work scrubs.

"OK. I'm gonna go clean out the coffee pot so you can get ready." he said kissing her head.

"You are too good to be true, Baby." she said smiling up at him.

"Nah, just good to you." he said before leaving the bedroom. As she got dressed and put her hair in a neat braid she thought about Roger. She smiled at the thought of him making her coffee and cleaning up the coffee pot. Usually she and Kelly didn't clean it up until they got home from work.

"Baby, you're gonna be late." he called out as she stood in front of the mirror in her room.

"I'm just putting on my eyeliner. Do you want some?" she asked giggling as he stood in the doorway.

"I am never gonna live that down, am I?" he asked with is arms crossed.

"I'm sorry Babe. I'm done now." she said blowing him a kiss.

"Come on, you're gonna be late." he said smiling at her.

"I know. I'm ready." she told him leaning up to kiss him before they left the apartment.

"I'll call you when I get out of my interview. I love you Baby." he told her kissing her at the bottom of the train stairs.

"I love you too Roger. I'll see you at lunch." she said kissing him again before rushing up the stairs to go to work.


	14. Chapter 14

"Hi, my name is Roger Davis. I'm here to see Tom McNulty. Ron McCoy sent me." Roger said entering the restaurant.

"Of course, right this way Mr. Davis. Tom is expecting you." the hostess said leading him to a back room office.

"Hi, Roger. Ron has told me so much about you. I hear you're a head bartender in the city." a tall, skinny gentleman said shaking Roger's hand.

"Yes, I've been working in the same bar for a year." Roger said sitting in the chair.

"So what else do you do?" Tom asked sitting back in his chair.

"I'm a singer/songwriter. I perform in a band on friday nights in a club in the village." he said smiling at him.

"That sounds really cool. We're looking to add some entertainment here. Maybe we'll set something up. We could always use a good rock bad." Tom said smiling back at him.

"I'd like that." he replied looking down.

"So I hear you're living with Ashley." Tom said leaning forward on his elbows.

"Yes, we moved in together yesterday." Roger said smiling at the mention of Ashley's name.

"Ash is a great girl. I've known her since she was a baby. You're lucky to have her." Tom said smiling at him.

"Don't I know it." Roger said smilng back bigger.

"Well you can start tomorrow morning. I want to catch you up on some paper work and show you what we do to order what we need." Tom said holding is hand out to shake Roger's.

"Are you serious? Thank you. Thank you so much Tom. I appreciate this. I won't let you down. I promise." Roger said excitedly smiling at him.

"I know you won't. Now why don't you call Ash. I know her, she's probably going nuts waiting for you to call right about now. You can use my phone. I'll see you here at 9." Tom said leaving the room as Roger turned the phone towards him and dialed Ashley's work number.

"Hi, is Ashley there?... Yeah Reish it's me... Thanks... Hey Baby... I start tomorrow at 9... Yeah, I know... He's really cool... OK, I'll see you at lunch to celebrate... Oh Baby, I love you so much too... OK Bye." he said hanging up the phone. He couldn't wait to see Ashley for lunch. "I'll see you in the morning Tom." he said as he walked towards the front of the restaurant.

"OK Roger. See you in the morning." Tom said smiling as Roger left to go meet Ashley. He went home to get his guitar for band practice and thought he'd stop at the loft before he had to meet Ashley.

"Mark, are you here?" Roger called out as he entered the loft putting his guitar down by the door..

"Yeah Rog, I'm in my room." he answered as Roger went towards Mark's room.

"Hey Mark. What's going on?" he asked as Mark looked up from his projector.

"Nothin much. What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Queens?" Mark asked going over to hug is old roommate.

"I got a job. I'm meeting Ash for lunch to celebrate." Roger said happily.

"Roger that's great. Where are you working?" Mark asked as the boys went into the main living area.

"A restaurant owned by a friend of Ron's. I'm gonna be a head bartender. It's closer to home." he answered laughing.

"That's really cool. You're still gonna have time to rehearse and perform with the band, right?" Mark asked as they sat on the couch.

"Of course. Do you see Ashley letting me quit?" Roger told him excitedly.

"Good point. That's really awesome Rog. I'm really happy for you guys." Mark said laughing happily.

"So how are you and Kelly doing?" Roger asked extending his legs across the round coffee table.

"Rog, you just moved out yesterday." he told him laughing harder.

"Right. Sorry. It's just that so much is happening at once, it seems like it's been longer." Roger told him laughing along.

"I know what you mean. Did you take your AZT?" he asked leaning back on the couch.

"Yeah, Ashley reminds me all the time. I gotta start remembering to take it on my own. I don't want Ashley to worry about it." he said looking down at his shirt.

"Well, you've never had to worry about it. You always had me or your beeper to remind you. But now that we're not living together anymore and Mimi broke your beeper." he said smiling at him.

"Remember that? She was so crazy that day." Roger said remembering the day Mimi broke his beeper.

"_Mimi, you can do it. It's just withdrawal. It'll get better." Roger told her caressing her back as she shivered._

"_Screw this." she said jumping up bolting for the door._

"_Baby, don't do this. You've been doing so good." he said chasing after her. Just then, his beeper went off. He took it off of his belt and turned it off._

"_And this fucking thing." she said grabbing it out of his hands and flinging it violently across the room where it hit the wall and shattered in numerous pieces._

"_What did you do that for?" Roger yelled at her as she doubled over in pain._

"_What damn good is it to live longer, if I can't live my life the way I want to?" she asked looking up at him before he scooped her into his arms and carried her back over to the couch._

"_Baby, you're just having a craving. It'll pass. I love you." he whispered in her ear comfortingly._

"How could I forget? She was gone the next morning." Mark said looking over at Roger, who didn't seem to react to that statement.

"Yeah well, she had to live her life and I'm living mine. I have to hand it to her though. She got me out of the house wanting to perform again." Roger said looking up at Mark smiling.

"Yeah, I guess you can say she played a small part in you meeting Ashley, huh?" Mark said laughing happy for Roger.

"Yeah she did." Roger said looking at the clock. It was almost 11:30 "I gotta go man. I gotta pick Ash up for lunch. Maybe we'll could meet at the Life Cafe after rehearsal. Why don't you call everyone?" Roger said as the men got up.

"Kelly would really like that." Mark said smiling as they walked to the door to say goodbye.

"I'll see you later." Roger said before hugging Mark goodbye. He grabbed his guitar and left the loft.

"Hi Sweetie." Ashley said as Roger entered the clinic.

"Hi Baby. I missed you." he said leaning over her desk to kiss her.

"I missed you too. I am so proud of you." she told him rushing out from behind the counter.

"Tom was really cool." he said smiling at her.

"Yeah he is. Are you ready to go?" she asked leaning up to kiss him.

"I'm always ready. You're the one who's always late." he told her playfully as he held her in his arms..

"Yeah, well I'm a girl. I'm allowed to be late." she said laughing as he kissed the top of her head.

"Yes you are. Have you thought about whether or not you're gonna sing with me and the band?" he asked as they left the clinic.

"I have been thinking about it. And I have decided that yes. I want to sing with my boyfriend." she answered smiling up at him.

"Oh Baby, this is gonna be amazing. I want to write a song for us to sing together, but for now I just want you to do one song." he said excitedly as he picked her up.

"I know which one you want to do. The one we did Saturday night." she said before he kissed her.

"Yeah, what's wrong with that one? It's amazing." he said holding her close to him.

"Nothing's wrong with it. I like that song. And I liked singing it with you." she told him smiling before he let her down.

"I love you Ash. Thank you." he said kissing her again.

"I love you too Roger. Now let's go. I don't the band getting pissed that you're late to practice because of me." she said smiling up at him.

"OK Baby. Oh, I saw Mark today." he told her as they walked together.

"How are him and Kelly doing?" she asked looking up at him.

"Baby, they just moved in together yesterday." he said laughing as Mark did earlier.

"I know." she said laughing along.

"Hey Rog, Ash. What are you doing here?" Terry asked looking up from his guitar.

"Well guys. I moved in with Ash yesterday, so I'm not working at the bar anymore. I'm working at a restaurant in Queens now." Roger said as Wylie looked up from his drum set.

"That's cool Rog." Wylie said smiling at them.

"Oh and I want to add a song to our set. Ash sings and I want to sing a song with her." Roger said opening his guitar case, taking his guitar out.

"If that's OK with you guys." she added smiling at them.

"That would be really cool. What song are you guys singing?" Dustin said setting his guitar down on the stand.

"I know which one you want to do. Awesome." Terry said smiling at Roger.

"How do you know which one they wanna do?" Wylie asked curiously.

"I know Roger. Just follow me." he answered smiling at him.

"At least until I can write one for us to do." Roger said strapping his guitar on.

"That's a rockin song. Let's see what you got Ash." Terry said beginning to play the riff for it as the other guys looked at him and nodded.

"Remember Baby, it's just you and me. No one else is here." Roger told her comfortingly as he handed her a microphone.

"Right. Just you and me." she repeated nervously.

"Are you guys ready?" Terry asked as everyone got into position.

"Yeah, I'm ready." Ashley said looking down at her feet as he began playing the riff again.

"_Baby, I get so scared inside and I don't really understand. Is it love that's on my mind or is it fantasy?" she began looking into Roger's eyes._

"_Heaven, is in the palm of my hands and it's waiting here for you. What am I supposed to do with a childhood tragedy." he replied smiling at her. As he continued, the rest of the band looked at one another in awe of them._

"_Like a dagger, you stick in the heart and taste the blood from my blade. And when we sleep would you shelter me in your warm and darkened grave? If I close my eyes forever, will it all remain unchanged? If I close my eyes forever, will it all remain the same. Will you ever take me?" she continued singing to Roger._

"_No I just can't take the pain." he told her smiling._

"_Will you ever trust me?" she asked in her rockingest voice._

"_No I'll never feel the same." he told her. As the guitar solo came they looked at each other smiling._

"_I know I been so hard on you. I know I told you lies." she sang to him, feeling more comfortable than she had ever felt. "If I could have just one more wish, I'd wipe the cobwebs from my eyes. If I close my eyes forever, will it all remain unchanged. If I close my eyes forever, will it all remain the same. I'm yours." she sang as Roger cut in._

"_Close your eyes, close your eyes, you gotta close your eyes for me." he sang as the song ended._

"Guys, that was hot. Why are we just finding out about his now Rog?" Terry asked as Ashley and Roger hugged.

"Stage fright. I have a really bad case of it." she said looking up at him from Roger's chest.

"Then how did you just do that?" Terry asked laughing.

"I gave her a way to forget about everyone else. As long as she concentrates on me, she's fine. We learned it at karaoke saturday night." Roger said kissing her head.

"You went to karaoke?" Andrew asked laughing.

"Don't laugh man. It's fun. Ash and I rocked it. Right Baby?" he asked smiling at her.

"Yeah, good thing I know a lot of songs. I couldn't look away from Roger for a second." she said laughing.

"Well, Rog I can't wait to hear the song you write for you and Ashley. I would love to have her sing with us regularly." Terry told him as the band took their positions again and Ashley took a seat in front of them to watch them rehearse. As they got to I'm With You she sat intently listening to it. Her eyes teared up and tears fell from her eyes.

"Again? You are so cute." he told her laughing as he went to her and wrapped his arms around her. Guitar and all. "I might be a little late tomorrow. I don't get off work until 5 and Ash is gonna meet us here, but we'll definitely be here." Roger said as they packed up their equiptment.

"No problem man. Just as long as you guys get here. I gotta hear you guys do that again." Dustin said laughing.

"Thanks guys." Ashley said as they left the rehearsal space.

"Are you hungry Baby?" he asked as they walked downtown.

"Starved but where are we going, the subway is that way?" she asked looking up at him.

"I thought we could go to the Life Cafe. We could meet everyone there." he told her smiling.

"I would love that." she said smiling up at him.

"I thought you might." he said laughing as he held her close. As they approached the Life Cafe, Collins was standing outside smoking a cigarette.

"Hi Babygirl." he said hugging Ashley hello.

"Collins." Ashley said hugging him tight.

"How's this guy treating you Babygirl?" he asked winking at Roger.

"Like a princess." she told him smiling up at him.

"He better." he said kissing her head.

"Is everyone inside?" Roger asked smiling at them.

"Yeah, Mark and Kelly just got here and Maureen and Jo have been bickering for about a half hour now." Collins said throwing his cigarette away.

"We better save Mark and Kelly." Roger said opening the door.

"Good idea." Ashley said as she and Collins walked in with their arms still around each other.

"Did Collins forget he was gay again?" Kelly said getting up to greet them.

"Yeah, but it's cool. I know my girl is irresistable. And she's about to get even more irresistable since she's in a band now." Roger announced as everyone cheered.

"That's great Ash." Mark said filming them.

"You are gonna be great sweetie." Kelly told her hugging her.

"As long as I have Roger with me, I can do anything." she said looking up at Roger who was smiling at her with pride.


	15. Chapter 15

"Roger, I can't do this." Ashley said standing outside the club.

"Baby, yes you can. I believe in you. You are more than ready. Your voice is ready, you know the song and you have me. How could you lose?" he told her bending down slightly to look her in her eyes.

"But Roger with just you and the guys is one thing. This is a club full of people who came to see you guys." she said looking clearly nervous.

"Ashley, you're an amazing singer. You can do it. These people are lucky to be here tonight to hear you." he told her holding her face in his hands.

"Roger..." she started before he cut her off with a kiss.

"Baby, you can do this. It's just you and me, OK?" he told her caressing her cheeks with his thumbs.

"OK, just you and me." she said leaning in to kiss him. "I love you Roger." she said as Terry opened the door.

"I love you too Ash. Are you ready?" he asked kissing her again.

"Yeah, I'm ready." she said as he took her hand and led her into the club. She stood with Collins, Maureen, Joanne, Mark and Kelly until Roger brought her on stage. He placed their song before I'm With You.

"Now, I have a special treat for all of you. My girlfriend Ashley brought me to karaoke a few months ago and I found out something about her that night. She can sing. I mean, really sing. So I'm gonna bring her up and she is gonna sing a song with me. Come on Ash Baby, come on up." he said as she climbed up smiling at Roger. "Are you ready, Baby?" he asked handing her her microphone.

"Yeah, I am." she said smiling at him as the band started the song. As Ashley sung, she didn't take her eyes off of Roger. He kept her stable. She felt his energy and the more she would sing, the more comfortable she felt. By the end of the song, she forgot about everyone else and only saw Roger. The crowd exploded in applause. She couldn't believe it.

"Ashley McCoy, ladies and gentlemen. I love you Baby." he said smiling at her as she climbed into the arms of Collins.

"Babygirl, that was amazing. I am so proud of you." Collins said holding her in his arms.

"Um, Collins. We've been over this a hundred times. You're gay, she's my girl. I'm about to do her song, so she needs to be able to breath to hear it." Roger said as the crowd laughed.

"Sorry man. I forget, you know. But if any woman could make me straight, it would be Ash. Rock chics turn me on." he said as everyone laughed as he loosened his hold on Ashley.

"Thank you. I love you Ash." he said before winking at Ashley and starting her song.

"I love you too Roger." she said smiling up at him. As he sung the song tears streamed down her face. She had been listening to him sing this song for months and it still made her cry. The fact that this wonderful man, who she loved so much wrote her the most beautiful song she had ever heard was still surreal to her. No one had ever loved her enough to write her a song, much less one as beautiful as I'm With You.

"Thank you and goodnight." Roger said as he took his guitar off and went to Ashley. "Oh Baby, you were incredible." he said picking her up as she wiped her eyes.

"It's because of you. Your energy helped me so much. I mean I just looked at you and you gave me your energy." she said holding him around his neck.

"Well whatever it was, you were awesome. Wow." he said kissing her deep and passionately.

"Thank you Baby." she said holding him tight as everyone flocked around them.

"Ash, you we were awesome." Kelly said as everyone nodded.

"You really were Ash. Wow." Maureen said excitedly.

"Thanks guys. Can you excuse me and Roger for a minute?" she said as Roger put her down.

"Sure Babygirl." Collins answered beaming with pride.

"What's up Baby?" he asked looking down at her as they sat outside.

"Oh my God. That was incredible. I just needed to get some air." she said as he held her in his arms.

"You wanna do it again, don't you?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I do." she said laughing as she leaned up to kiss him.

"I knew you would." he said laughing as he picked her up again.

"Shut up." she said laughing at him as she kissed him again.

"It's a rush, isn't it?" he said smiling at her.

"Yeah, it is. Wow, I can't believe you do that every week." she said as he put her down.

"Do you want to?" he asked smiling down at her.

"What? Play with the band?" she asked looking up at him confused.

"Yeah. The guys want you to join the band." he said as she held on to his biceps.

"Are you kidding?" she asked looking up at him.

"Why not? I mean, Baby, you heard the crowd. They love you." he told her as Collins came out.

"OK then. I'll do it." she said as he leaned down to hold her in his arms.

"What'd I miss?" Collins said holding his cigarette in his hand.

"I'm gonna be playing with the band." Ashley said turning to him.

"Babygirl, you just did." he said teasing her.

"I mean, every week. I'm in the band. They want me to play with them." Ashley told him excited.

"Babygirl, that's great." he said taking her out of Rogers arms to hug her.

"Thanks." she said laughing hugging him back.

"Hey guys, you're missing your own party." Kelly said coming out of the club.

"Sorry Kel. I just needed some air. Roger asked me to join the band. Permenantly." she said excitedly as Kelly screamed.

"Oh my God. That's amazing and you so deserve it. Now we really have to celebrate." Kelly said hugging her.

"Good idea. Are you guys coming in?" she asked looking up at Roger and Collins.

"We're just gonna smoke a cigarette. We'll be right in Baby." he said as she leaned up to kiss him.

"OK I love you." she said smiling up at him.

"I love you too Ash." he said as she followed Kelly into the club. "Isn't she amazing?" he asked smiling at Roger.

"Yeah she is. You know, I wa worried that when you moved to Queens, we wouldn't see much of you, but with Ash, we seem to see you more than when you lived here." he said laughing.

"Yeah, she really loves you guys. Especially you. She feels so close to you." Roger said lighting a cigarette.

"Well she doesn't have a big brother so she looks at me as a big brother." he told him smiling.

"I know. I'm glad you all like her." Roger told him smiling.

"We love her man. She is so good for you." Collins said smiling at her.

"I was gonna give her this while we were on stage tonight." Roger told him handing him a box.

"Wow, Rog. Why didn't you?" Collins asked looking down at the ring in the box.

"I got scared." Roger confessed looking down at his feet.

"You know she'll say yes. What are you afraid of?" he asked closing the box and handing it back to Roger.

"I don't know. I mean, we're so happy. I'm afraid something is gonna happen to ruin it." he told him taking a long drag from his cigarette.

"Like what?" Collins asked looking at him.

"I don't know. Anything. I mean, I love her so much and we all know my track record. I'm just afraid something is gonna go wrong." Roger said throwing his cigarette out.

"I know the feeling, but Rog, no day but today. You love her and she loves you. Just ask her." Collins said putting his hand on Roger's shoulder.

"I will. I just need to wait for the right time." he told him smiling as they went back into the club.


	16. Chapter 16

"Roger we have to go." Ashley called out standing by the door of the apartment.

"Baby, calm down. My parents aren't going anywhere." Roger told her coming out of the bedroom holding his jacket.

"But we told them we'd be there by lunch and it's already 7:30. You said it takes 4 hours to get there. Plus we have to get settled and get the introductions out of the way. All that stuff takes time." she told him as he put his jacket on.

"Ash, don't be so nervous. You've spoken to them on the phone a million times. They love you. Just like I do." he said wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling him to her.

"I know. But it's the first time I'm meeting them and I don't want to be late." she said looking up at him.

"Don't worry Baby. Everything is gonna be OK." he told her leaning down to kiss her.

"I just want to make a good impression." she said holding him close.

"You will. I love you Ash." Roger told her smiling down into her perfect blue eyes.

"Oh Roger, I so love you too." she said leaning up to kiss him.

"I know, now let's go. We're gonna be late." he teased smiling at her as they left the apartment. They loaded their large duffle bag into the trunk of the car Roger had bought 3 months earlier. It was a 1976 Chevy Nova. He bought it for practically nothing, but he restored it with Ashley's father in his garage. This was gonna be the first road trip they had taken it on. Ashley and Roger had been together for 6 months and Ashley still hadn't met Roger's parents. Roger thought it was about time they cleared their schedule and made the trip upstate. As they began their trip upstate Ashley fell asleep in the car. Roger played with the radio as usual. He was so nervous. He had had Ashley's engagement ring for 4 months and still hadn't found the right time to ask her. He wanted to ask her on stage after he sung her her song, but he always lost his nerve. He knew he wanted to ask her soon, but he wanted it to be special. When they arrived at his parents house, he pulled into the driveway and woke Ashley up. "Ash Baby. Wake up." he whispered gently as he caressed her face.

"Mmm, we're here?" she asked sitting up straight.

"Yeah Baby, we're here?" he said smiling at her.

"OK." she said trying to wake up.

"I love you Ash." he said leaning over to kiss her.

"I love you too Roger." she said caressing his stubbley face as his mother came rushing out of the house.

"Roger, you're here." she said smiling at them as Roger opened the door.

"Hi mom." he said getting out to hug her as Ashley got out of the car.

"You look so good. I'm glad to see Ashley is taking care of you." she said hugging him.

"Actually it's my mom who is taking care of him. I don't cook." Ashley said laughing as Mrs. Davis went to Ashley to hug her.

"That's OK sweetie. It is no nice to finally meet you. It took my son long enough to get up here." she said smiling at her.

"Mom, I just got the car on the road last week and the band had shows all weekend." he said opening the trunk to get their bag out.

"I know. I was just anxious to meet Ashley." she said smiling at them.

"I know mom. Is dad inside?" Roger said slinging the bag over his shoulder.

"Yeah, he's making his special potatoe salad for you guys." she said smiling at them as she put her arm around Ashley's shoulder leading her into the house.

"You're here. How was your drive?" Mr. Davis asked wiping his hands on the dish towel before hugging his son hello.

"It was long, but nice." he said as the older man directed his attention to Ashley.

"This must be Ashley. It is so nice to finally meet you." Mr. Davis said hugging her.

"It's nice to meet you too Mr. Davis." she said hugging him.

"Why don't you two put your bag upstairs and get refreshed before lunch. It's almost ready." Mrs. Davis said smiling at them.

"OK mom. We're staying in my room?" Roger asked picking up the bag.

"Yes." she said smiling at them.

"Thanks mom." he said leading Ashley up to his room.

"So this is where you grew up?" she asked looking around. There were many pictures of Roger and his younger sister Michelle hanging all over the house. But they were nothing like the picures she had seen when he moved out of the loft. There were pictures of Roger in various stages of growing up.

"Yep, this is where it all began." he said wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.

"You were so cute when you were little." she said smiling at him as she turned around.

"Thanks." he told her leaning down to kiss her.

"I love you Roger." she whispered before kissing him again.

"Ash, marry me." he blurted out smiling at her.

"What?" she asked leaning back to look at him.

"Will you marry me Ashley?" he asked taking the ring out of his pants pocket.

"Of course I'll marry you Roger. I love you." she answered looking down at the ring.

"Really?" he asked smiling down at her.

"Yes really. Roger I love you so much. I would love to marry you." she said as tears streamed down her face.

"I love you too Ash." he told her wrapping his arms around her waist and picking her up.

"We're getting married." she said excitedly as he pulled his head back and kissed her.

"Yes we are. Now let's see how this looks on you." he told her putting her down to place the small diamond ring on her finger.

"This is beautiful Roger." she told him smiling up at him.

"I bought it for you a few months ago. I've been waiting for the right time to give it to you. I wanted to so many times, but I chickened out." he told her looking down at her.

"How?"she asked gazing into his green eyes.

"I've been playing in the restaurant a few nights a week." he said smiling at him.

"But Baby that was months ago." she said running her fingers through his hair.

"I kind of bought the ring then. I wanted to ask you sooner, but the time was never right." told her wiping her tears from her face.

"I love it Roger. And I love you." she said leaning up to kiss him.

"I love you too Ash. Why don't we go down and tell my parents we're engaged?" he said smiling at her.

"OK." she said hugging him one last time before they left the bedroom to go down to the kichen.

"Michelle and Adam should be here any minute." Mrs. Davis told them putting the food on the table.

"Mom, dad. I asked Ashley to marry me and she said yes." Roger said holding Ashley in his arms.

"Of course she did. That's wonderful." Mrs. Davis told him excitedly as she rushed over to hug them.

"Congratulations you two." Mr. Davis said hugging them.

"Thanks dad." Roger said as Michelle came in the house.

"Well if it isn't the prodigal son." she said teasingly.

"Hey Chelle. Me and Ashley are getting married." he said rushing over to greet his younger sister.

"Why what's wrong with her that she's marrying you?" Michelle asked laughing as Roger picked her up.

"Michelle Lee Davis, don't be obnoxious." Mrs. Davis said standing next to Ashley.

"I'm just playing around mom." Michelle told her laughing as Roger let her down. "Hi Ashley, it's nice to finally meet you. Roger has been talking non stop about you for months." she said going over to greet Ashley.

"It's nice to meet you too Michelle." she said smiling at her.

"So you're marrying my crazy brother, huh?" she said smiling back.

"Yeah, he asked me. He looked so pathetic, I had to say yes." Ashley said laughing.

"I like her. She fits right in." she said laughing as she hugged Ashley.

"Thanks sis." Roger said putting his arm around Ashley. "Where's Adam?" he asked smiling down at her.

"He's coming later. He got called into work." she said as they sat at the kitchen table.

"Cool." Roger said as they dished out their lunch.

"I would say this is call for celebration. Jay, why don't you get the bottle of champagne we had left over from last new years. We need to propose a toast." Mrs. Davis said smiling at Roger and Ashley. They looked so happy. It was nice to see her son so happy.

"OK what are we toasting?" Roger asked picking up the glass his father put in front of him.

"How about to Roger and Ashley, may you have nothing but happiness for the rest of your lives." Michelle said smiling at them.


	17. Chapter 17

"OK, you need a dress, flowers, a caterer, a cake, Roger is definitely wearing a tux, and brides maids and grooms men." Maureen said making a list as she, Ashley, Kelly, and Joanne sat in the loft.

"Maureen, Roger does not have to wear a tux." Ashley said sitting back on the couch.

"Oh yes he does. He is not wearing a pair of dingy, gross jeans to his wedding." Maureen said tapping the pen on the pad.

"Of course not. But we were thinking he would just wear a suit. I want a small wedding." she told her sitting up.

"And a tie, right? Tell me he's wearing a tie." Joanne asked as Maureen nodded.

"Yes, he is wearing a tie. We just don't want the whole huge formal wedding. We just want to be with our close friends and family." she said leaning towards Maureen who was sitting on the arm chair.

"Sweetie, you only get married once. You should have a fairy tale wedding." Maureen told her as Roger, Mark and Collins walked in.

"Maureen, what are you doing to my fiance?" Roger asked going over to kiss Ashley hello.

"I'm trying to help her plan this wedding. God knows you two need the help." she said as Kelly rolled her eyes.

"Whatever Ashley wants is what we're gonna do. Stop harassing her." he said as she leaned her head back to look at him.

"Thank you Baby. That's what I've been telling her." she told him as Collins and Mark laughed.

"You guys are no fun. I mean, you're only gonna do this once. Why shouldn't you do it big?" she said tossing the pad and pen on the coffee table.

"Because a big wedding is not important to me. My sister had a big wedding and it turned into a three ring circus. No thank you. All I want to do is be around my friends and family and marry the man I love. That's it." she said getting up and going by Roger.

"But haven't you ever wanted a big Cinderella wedding?" Maureen asked looking up at her.

"We'll elope Maureen, so help me." Ashley told her as Collins covered his mouth in disbelief.

"Fine. You plan the wedding the way you want to. As long as you and Roger are happy, that's all that matters." she finally agreed realizing she was defeated.

"Thank you Maureen. I appreciate you wanting to help us and everything, but we don't want a big wedding." Ashley said smiling up at Roger.

"OK. Whatever makes you guys happy." Maureen said smiling at them.

"Thank you. Now, we have to go. We have dinner at my parents house tonight." she said as Roger went to get her coat.

"Bye Babygirl." Collins said hugging her.

"Bye sweetie. I'm sorry we couldn't spend any quality time together today, but I'll see you at the clinic tomorrow, right?" Ashley asked hugging him tight.

"Bright and early." he said kissing her head.

"Collins, your appointment is at 10:30." she told him laughing.

"That's bright and early for me Babygirl." he said as everyone laughed.

"Ok sweetie. I'll see you tomorrow." she said leaning up to kiss his cheek.

"So how crazy did Maureen make you?" Roger asked as they left the loft.

"Not that crazy, I mean she's just trying to help, but I am gonna kill her if she insists we have this big circus wedding." she said as he opened the car door.

"Baby, are you sure you don't want a big wedding?" he asked smiling at her as he knelt down next to her in the car.

"Roger, I saw Jess and Noah almost be torn apart planning their wedding. I don't want that to happen to us. I love you and all I care about is spending my life with you. All I want for our wedding day is to be joined together as husband a wife. That's it. I'm fine with a small wedding. It's all I want." she said caressing his cheek.

"OK. Just as long as this is what you want." he told her leaning up to kiss her.

"It is. All that matters to me is our life together." she said smiling at him.

"OK. Let's go home." he said kissing her again before getting in the car and driving home.

"OK, we have to pick a date." Roger told her holding her in his arms as they lay on the couch together.

"OK, how about we get married on our one year anniversary?" she suggested looking up at him as she swept her hair back.

"I don't want to wait until May. That's 6 months away." he said burying his face in her hair.

"OK then, you come up with a date." she said turning to look at him.

"How about on New Years?" he told her smiling at her.

"Roger, that's next month. Even with a small wedding we need more time to plan than that." she said sitting up.

"Baby, I love you and you love me. I don't want to wait. I want to marry you now." he told her leaning up to kiss her.

"On New Years?" she asked arching her eyebrow.

"At least I won't forget our anniversary." he said laughing as he caressed her cheek.

"You would never forget our anniversary. You are too wonderful." she said leaning in to kiss him again.

"Of course I wouldn't forget our anniversary." he said bringing her down with him again.

"OK. We'll get married on New Years. But we have a lot to do. I mean, we have to find a minister or a justice of the peace who can do it that night and figure out where we can have it on that night..." she started before he interrupted her with a kiss.

"Baby, don't worry. You just worry about your dress. I'll handle everything." he whispered sweeping her hair out of her face.

"You already talked to my mom about this, didn't you?" she said smirking up at him.

"Yeah, I kind of did. Father DeMico is free on New Years eve and your parents party is gonna be our reception, since everyone who is going is invited to our wedding. It's perfect." he said smiling down at her.

"How did you know I would go for it?" she asked smiling back at him.

"I didn't. I just hoped." he said laughing as he kissed her head.

"You were depending on the Roger Davis charm, weren't you?" she asked laughing as she smiled up at him.

"Kind of." he said bringing her into a passionate deep kiss.

"You are sneaky." she said caressing his chest.

"I know. It's one of the things you love about me." he told her reaching under her shirt to caress her bare skin.

"I love everything about you." she said as they removed their clothes to make love.

"That's the one Ash." Kelly said as Ashley stood before her in a long white formal gown.

"Yeah?" Ashley asked looking at her reflection in the mirror.

"Definitely Ash. It's prefect." Maureen said smiling at her.

"I do love it." she said turning to look at them as he long blond hair swung with her.

"You should. It's the dress you're wearing to marry Roger." Joanne said smiling at her.

"Yes it is." she said quietly as she turned back around and stared at herself in the mirror.


	18. Chapter 18

"Roger, are you OK? You don't look so hot." Collins asked as Roger stared at himself in the mirror.

"I'm nervous." he said quietly fidgeting with his tie.

"Roger, what are you nervous about? You are about to marry the woman you love. I'd say you should be floating on cloud 9 right about now." Collins asked patting him on the shoulder.

"I am. I mean, there is no one I would rather marry then Ashley. I never even thought about getting married until I met Ashley. It's just, I don't know. The rest of my life isn't that far off and I don't want to leave her." he said turning to him with tears in his eyes.

"Roger, listen to me. You love Ash, right?" Adam asked standing up from his chair next to Mark.

"Of course I do bonehead. I love her more than anything in the world." Roger answered looking at him.

"So what's the problem? You marry her and give her as much time as you have. No one is promised forever, you know. We just live as long as can and do what we can while we're here." he told him as Roger smiled.

"You're right. I just make sure she knows I love her every minute we're together." he said as Collins smiled at him.

"And you better, you know. You're lucky she found you." Collins said holding his shoulder.

"I thank her every day for talking to me that night." he said laughing as he hugged Collins.

"Good. Now how about we get you married." Mark said getting up from his chair.

"Thanks guys. I needed a kick in the ass." he said laughing sweeping his hair back.

"No problem. But if you punked out, I just want you to know I was prepared to marry her." Collins said as everyone started laugh.

"Collins, YOU'RE GAY!! Dude, let it go." Roger said laughing before hugging him.

"Oh right. See when it comes to Ash, I forget." he said as they men laughed as they left the room.

"Ready, Ash?" Michelle asked smiling at her.

"Yeah, I'm ready. I have never been more ready. I'm so glad Roger and I decided to get married tonight and not in 5 months. I would have been freaking out waiting that long." she said as she, Michelle, Jessica, Maureen and Joanne laughed.

"So let's get you married." Jessica said as they came down the stairs where Mr. McCoy was waiting.

"You look gorgeous honey." he said smiling at her.

"Thanks daddy. Did you see Roger? How is he? Is he a mess?" she asked as the ladies laughed.

"Ash, you're gonna see him in like 2 minutes." Jessica told her laughing.

"I know, I'm just worried about him." she said smiling at her father.

"He's a nervous wreck, but seeing you will calm him right down. He misses you." Mr. McCoy told her hugging her.

"I miss him too. Come on. Let's do this." she said smiling at them as they began to walk down to the basement where the ceremony was taking place. First Maureen and Joanne went down the aisle, then Michelle and Adam, followed by Jessica and Noah and Kelly. As Ashley and Mr. McCoy came into sight, Rogers heart felt like it was beating out of his chest. She looked even more beautiful then he envisioned her. Tears started streaming down his face. He couldn't believe how gorgeous she looked.

"Roger, she looks amazing." Mark whispered leaning in to him as she walked down the aisle with her father as Roger just simply nodded. He wanted to answer him but the words just wouldn't come out. When she finally reached him, he smiled down at her.

"Ash, you look... wow." he said as she wiped the tears from his face.

"I love you Roger." she said smiling up at him as he caressed her cheek.

"Shall we get started?" the priest asked smiling at them.

"Yes, we're sorry." Roger said laughing a little before he and Ashley turned to face him.

"We are gathered here on this New Years Eve to celebrate a new beginning for Roger and Ashley. The beginning of their marriage. They have chosen to come together on this evening with their friends and their family in attendance to celebrate their love." the priest began as Roger and Ashley held each other's hands tightly. As the ceremony continued tears poured down Ashley's face. She couldn't believe she was marrying Roger. The night was the happiest night of her life. "Do you Roger, take Ashley to be your wedded wife? To have and to hold from this day forward. In sickness and in health. Until death do you part?" he asked as Roger looked down at Ashley with years in his eyes.

"I do." he replied smiling at her.

"Do you Ashley, take Roger to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold from this day forward. In sickness and in health. Until death do you part?" he asked as Ashley carefully wiped her eyes and smiled up at Roger.

"I do." she replied as Mark handed Roger her ring and Kelly handed her his.

"Now repeat after me Roger. With this ring. I thee wed." the priest directed as Roger held Ashley's left hand in his.

"With this ring, I thee wed." he repeated sliding the ring on her finger.

"Now Ashley, repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed." the priest directed as Ashley held Roger's left hand.

"With this ring, I thee wed." she repeated slipping the ring onto his finger.

"Now with the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronouce you husband and wife. Roger you may kiss your bride." he told him smiling as Roger smiled down at Ashley before wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her. At that moment the clock struck midnight and everyone cheered.

"We did it." Ashley whispered putting her arms around Roger's neck.

"Yes we did. I love you Ashley." he said holding her in his arms.

"I love you too Roger." she replied as everyone continued to cheer.


	19. Chapter 19

"Ash, do you ever think of having kids?" Roger asked caressing her bare back as she lay in his arms.

"Yeah, but not in the way you think." she told him propping herself up onto her elbow.

"What do you mean Baby?" he asked confused.

"Well, I was thinking of maybe adopting a baby." she told him as he sat up.

"Won't it be hard? You know with my HIV?" he asked as she sat up with him.

"Honey, you're healthy. You take your meds. I'm a nurse. It's not really an issue these days." she told him smiling at him.

"But doesn't the whole process take years or something?" he asked playing with her hair.

"Not if we adopt an HIV positive baby. Roger, think about it. There are so many baby's whose parents give them up or abandon them because they're HIV positive. I remember when I first got my nursing degree, I worked in the neo natal ward with those beautiful babies and they always either went from foster home to foster home or were put in a group home or a hospice or something. They so desperately needed someone to love them and nurture them and it broke my heart that no one wanted them." she told him as he got out of bed to pace the bedroom.

"I don't know Ash. I mean, I always wanted my child not to have HIV and with you, they wouldn't. Not if we take precautions. And I don't want you to have to watch our child die. It's bad enough you have to watch me and Collins die. Watching our child die is not something I want for you." he told her rubbing the back of his neck.

"But Roger, these babies deserve loving homes. And their life expectancy is so much longer than it used to be. I mean, there are new meds that are working miracles for these babies. They deserve a chance to do something great. Maybe even find a cure for this thing. You would make such a wonderful father to our child. So why not to a child who needs one the most?" she said getting out of bed to follow him.

"I don't know Ash. I just don't know. It's bad enough we have to live with thing. Why put a child through the same thing. How would we explain to this child why this is happening to them? Why they're not gonna have to worry about high school or college?" he asked looking down at her.

"Roger, that's the thing. Kids born with HIV these days are worrying about high school and college. As long as they stay on their regimen, they could worry about getting married and having kids of their own. Honey, we don't have to decide anything tonight. Just think about it. Please." she asked holding his arm.

"You really believe in this, don't you?" he asked smiling down at her.

"Yes I do. We have so much love to give to a child. Why not a child who needs it the most?" she said smiling back at him.

"I'll think about it Baby, OK?" he told her wrapping his arms around her naked body.

"Thank you Roger. That's all I ask." she told him burying her face in his chest.

"I love you Ash." he told her caressing her hair.

"I love you too Roger." she told him as they got back in bed.

"Ash wants to adopt a baby?" Roger said as he and Mark sat in the loft alone together.

"That's great. Don't you guys want kids?" he asked smiling at him.

"Yeah, you have no idea how much I want to be a father with Ashley. But Mark, she wants to adopt an HIV positive baby." he told him sitting up.

"Roger, those are the babies that need homes the most." Mark told him as Roger got up to walk around the loft.

"I know. But I worry about Ash. I mean, it's bad enough she's gonna have to watch me and Collins die one of these days. Can you imagine how hard it's gonna be for her to watch her child die from this thing?" he asked standing at the window staring out.

"Rog, it's not a death sentence anymore. Kids who are born with this are most likely to worry about the prom, not worry about dying. I think it's great Ash wants to do this." Mark told him joining him at that window.

"I know. That's what she said. But I always wanted a child without HIV and Ash just wants to love a child who needs it the most." Roger told him running his fingers through his hair.

"Well Rog, at the risk of sounding like a broken record. Ash is one incredible woman to want to do this." Mark told him putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah she is. I mean, she not only loves me in spite of my HIV, but now she wants to love a child because of it." he told him smiling over at him.

"So what did you tell her?" Mark asked as Roger sat on the window seat.

"I told her I would have to think about it." he told him picking at his fingers.

"What are you gonna tell her?" Mark asked sitting next to him.

"I'm gonna tell her I want to do it. I mean, I would like to give a kid a good home. A kid who would otherwise be put into foster care or a group home. No kid deserves that." he told him as Mark smiled at him.

"That's great Roger. Really. Congratulations." he said as Roger got up.

"Now I think I should go tell my wife the good news. She's been waiting 2 weeks for my answer." he told him putting his coat on.

"I bet a year and a half ago when you met her at the club you never thought you'd be married to her and thinking about adopting a baby." Mark told him laughing.

"You can say that again. I'll be back later." he told him putting his scarf around his neck.

"OK Rog." Mark said getting up.

"Hey Mark." he called out opening the loft door.

"What's up Rog?" Mark asked looking up at him.

"Thanks man." he said smiling at him.

"No problem Rog. Anytime." he said as Roger left the loft to go to the clinic to tell Ashley the good news. As Roger walked to the clinic he got to thinking how great it would be to adopt a baby with Ashley. He had never thought about adopting an HIV positive child, but everything Ashley had told him made sense. There were so many children in the world who didn't have anyone to love them and he knew he and Ashley would love a child like no one else would. As he approached the clinic he stood outside and took a deep breath before going inside.

"Roger, what are you doing here? I thought you were hanging out with Mark today?" Ashley asked smiling at him from the other side of the counter.

"I wanted to talk to you. Do you have a minute?" he asked with his hands in his jacket pockets.

"Sure. Reish, do you mind if I go talk to Roger for a minute?" she asked turning to Reisha.

"Of course not. Hi Roger." Reisha told her before smiling at Roger.

"Hey Reish. Thanks. This will only take a minute." he told her as Ashley put her jacket on and they went outside.

"What's the matter Honey? Is everything OK?" she asked looking up at him as he leaned against the wall.

"Ash, how hard would it be to put in an adoption application?" he asked looking down at her.

"Not hard. Why?" she asked looking at him confused.

"Because I want to do it. I want to adopt an HIV positive baby." he said smiling down at her.

"Are you serious?" she asked smiling at him.

"Yeah, I wanna do it Baby. I wanna raise a baby with you." he told her as she threw her arms around his neck.

"Roger, I love you so much." she said as tears formed in her eyes.

"I love you too Ash. And I know we could give a baby a good home with all the love a kid could need." he told her caressing her hair.

"Yeah we could." she told him before leaning back to kiss him.

"So let's do it. Just tell me what we need to do and I'll do it." he told her smiling at her.

"Roger, you are amazing. Thank you. I know how hard it was for you to make this decision." she whispered to him as he reached up and wiped her tears.

"Not so hard when I really thought about it. It makes sense. Children need love and we have love to give. It was easy really. I just wanted to be sure." he told her as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"And you talked to Mark?" she asked smiling at him.

"Yeah, he just told me the same thing you've been telling me." he said laughing.

"That's OK. I know you needed someone outside of the situation to talk to and Mark is your best friend. I'm glad you talked to someone." she said caressing his face.

"He also told me what an incredible woman you are. But I knew that already." he said kissing her nose.

"Well you are one incredible man, you know?" she told him pulling him close again.

"You make me want to be the man I am." he whispered as he buried his face in her hair.

"I'll get the papers and we can start filling them out." she told him pulling back to look at him.

"OK. I'd like that. Now you better get back inside. I gotta get back to the loft. Me and Mark have woek to do." he told her kissing her again.

"OK. I love you Roger." she told him smiling up at him.

"I love you too Ash." he whispered holding her in his arms again before she went back inside and he went back to the loft.


	20. Chapter 20

"How much friggin paperwork is there?" Roger asked as they sat at the kitchen table that had papers spread all over it.

"Well there's the health papers, the financial papers, the family background papers and the papers about us and our relationship. They just want to make sure we know what we're getting into and we can handle it." she told him as they both filled out papers.

"Baby, all they need to look at are the health and financial papers to see we can handle it." he told her leaning on his elbows.

"I know Honey, but we have to fill out all the papers. Did you get the reference letters from Tom, your parents and Michelle?" she asked opening her folder.

"Yeah, they're right here. Somewhere." he told her searching the table.

"We're almost done Honey. And don't forget our appointment with the agency on Thursday." she told him as he rifled through the papers.

"Shit, they were here a second ago. Yeah, I already got the day off. Baby, don't worry. Everything is gonna be fine. Found them." he told her picking up a pile of papers.

"I know. I just want everything to be in order for Thursday." she told him taking the papers and putting them with the ones from her parents, Jessica and Noah, Reisha, Mark and Kelly, Maureen and Joanne and Collins.

"It will be." he told her taking her hand in his.

"You're right. Oh, the social worker is making a home visit on Monday, but that won't be until 6, so we should both be home by then." she told him looking down at her papers.

"Baby, come here." he said taking her hand and bringing her to his lap.

"I'm sorry. I'm so freaking out, aren't I?" she asked smiling down at him.

"Ash, listen to me. We are gonna get a baby. Don't worry about it. We have so much love to give a baby and the agency is gonna see that." he told her caressing her face.

"I know. I just want to a baby so bad, you know?" she told him wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Me too Baby. Just be yourself." he told her smiling up at her.

"I know. I'm over thinking again. I'm sorry." she told him laying her head on his shoulder.

"Yes you are. But I love you anyway." he told her kissing her head.

"Anyway, let's put these away for now and we can finish them up tomorrow. I don't wanna talk about the agency, or paperwork, or social workers. I wanna spend time with my husband tonight." she told him picking her head up.

"Are you sure? I mean, if you want to get these finished tonight, we can." he told her caressing her cheek.

"Nah, I need a break anyway. I'm starting to get cross eyed looking at all this paperwork." she told him laughing a little.

"OK. What do you wanna do?" he asked her playing with her hair.

"How about we be irresponsible? I wanna go out and get drunk. Just you and me. Karaoke starts in a half an hour. We can go to the Clubhouse and hang out." she suggested brushing his hair out of his face.

"Or we can stay in and make love all night. Like we used to when I first moved in." he said smiling up at her.

"You always come up with a better plan." she said laughing as he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.

"That's why you love me so much." he whispered to her before gently putting her on the bed before leaning down to kiss her passionately.

"Roger, the social worker is gonna be here any minute now. Will you stop playing with your hair?" Ashley shouted from the living room making sure all the papers were in order.

"I'm not playing with my hair, smart alleck. I'm installing the child safety locks on the bathroom cabinet." he told her testing the cabinet.

"Oh OK. Sorry Honey." she said closing the folder before putting it back on the coffee table.

"Done." he told her coming into the living room.

"Thank you Honey." she said looking up at him.

"Baby, calm down. Everything is gonna be fine." he told her before sitting next to her.

"I know. Didn't realize 2 years ago you married a mad woman, huh?" she asked leaning her head on his shoulder.

"I had an idea. But I love you, so I can over look it." he told laughing before kissing her head as the doorbell rang. "Showtime. Remember, I love you and just be yourself." he told her before getting up.

"I love you too Roger." she said getting up to go with him to answer the door.

"Hi, my name is Jennifer Gadway, you must be Roger and Ashley Davis." the woman asked as Roger opened the door with Ashley behind him.

"Yes, hi. It's very nice to meet you." Ashley said holding out her hand.

"Why don't we go inside?" Roger said smiling down at Ashley.

"Thank you Mr. Davis." Ms. Gadway said following them up the stairs.

"As you can see, this is the living room." Ashley told he smiling at her.

"It's very nice, Mrs. Davis." Ms. Gadway said looking around.

"Thank you. Would you like to see where the baby's room is?" she asked smiling at her as Roger took her hand.

"Yes please." she told her putting her bag down on the living room chair.

"It used to be my roommates room, but we fixed it up for a baby." she told her opening the door to Kelly's old room. There was a natural wood crib set up and everything was in neutral colors because the sex of the baby was undetermined.

"This is a beautiful room." Ms. Gadway told them smiling at them.

"That's the same rocking chair my grandparents gave my parents when my older sister was born. Roger sanded it and refinished it himself." Ashley told her squeezing Roger's hand.

"Very nice, Mrs. Davis. Really. How about we go in the living room and go over your paperwork so we can make sure everything is in order." she suggested sensing how nervous Ashley was.

"Am I that obvious?" Ashley asked laughing nervously.

"It's fine Mrs. Davis. It's normal." Ms. Gadway told her as they returned to the living room.

"I'm sorry. We're just nervous." she told her as she and Roger sat on the couch and Ms. Gadway sat in the chair.

"It's natural to be nervous. There's nothing wrong with it. Now are all your papers in order?" she asked smiling at them.

"Yes, they're all right here." Ashley told her handing her the folder.

"This all looks very good. How long have you been positive Mr. Davis?" she asked looking up at Roger.

"7 years." he answered simply. He remembered what Joanne told him. Just give straight answers. Do not volunteer anything.

"And according to your last check up your t-cell and your viral count looks very good. You take your meds regularly?" she asked smiling up at him.

"Yes ma'am." he told her taking Ashley's hand.

"And you two have been together 2 and a half years, is that correct?" she asked as they both nodded.

"Yes." Ashley told her smiling up at Roger.

"How did you meet?" she asked smiling at them.

"Roger is in a band and they were playing a club. I was a fan of his and after the show I spoke to him and we talked for hours and saw each other the next day and we've been together every day since then." Ashley told her smiling.

"That sounds nice. And I see here you joined the same band. What's that like? Performing with your husband?" she asked smiling at them.

"It's fun, but I'm quitting the band when we get placed with a child. I need to be here. But Roger will still be playing." Ashley told her smiling at her.

"That's a shame. You're quitting your band?" Ms. Gadway asked sitting back in the chair.

"Yeah, it's time. I've been singing with them for almost 2 years, but it's just something I as doing because I wanted to sing with Roger. We have fun singing together, but it's getting to be a bit much on my voice." she told her smiling at her.

"What kind of band is it?" she asked looking up at Roger.

"It's a hard rock band. I've been playing in bands on and off since I was in high school. I went to karaoke one night with Ashley and realized she could sing, so I begged and pleaded for her to sing with me and she did. She has a great voice." Roger gushed smiling at Ashley.

"That sounds nice. When is your appointment with the agency?" she asked smiling at them.

"Thursday." Ashley told her squeezing Roger's hand.

"Very good. Well I'm going to put in my recommendation for you to be placed with a baby and we can take it from there." she told them as tears filled Roger and Ashley's eyes.

"Thank you so much Ms. Gadway. You don't know what this means to us." Ashley told her as Roger put his arm around Ashley to hold her close.

"I can see how much it means to you. I can also see you two have a lot of love to give to a child. And you will provide a stable family. Any child would be lucky to have parents like you." she told them putting the folder in her bag before standing up.

"Thank you very much." Roger said holding his hand out to her before walking her out.


	21. Chapter 21

"Mr. And Mrs. Davis, Mr. Anderson will see you now." the receptionist announced as Roger and Ashley stood up to enter the office.

"Roger, Ashley hi. Why don't you have a seat and we can talk about a few things?" Mr. Anderson said shaking their hand as he led them to two chairs in front of a long desk. "Everything seems to be in order. I spoke to your friends and family and it seems they all speak very highly of you. I also spoke to Ms. Gadway and I have her report here. She is very much in favor of you two being placed with a baby as soon as possible. That's great news." he told them as they smiled.

"Thank you." Roger said holding Ashley's hand.

"Well as you know, we have many HIV positive baby's both male and female that need good homes. We can show you some pictures and you can pick from them. These children have been on HIV meds since being found, so they are in excellent health." he told them rifling through his files to gather up the ones he wanted to show them.

"We don't have a preference. We are prepared for either a boy or a girl." Roger stressed smiling at Mr. Anderson.

"I understand that Roger. I'm just going to ask you to look through these files and just let me know which baby appeals to you." he said handing them a stack of folders.

"Do you think we can have some time with them? Please." Ashley asked as Roger took the folders.

"Sure. Take all the time you need. I know this is a big decision. I've narrowed it down to the children that most resemble you two so that it will be an easy transition." he told them as he got up. "You can use my office as long as you need to. Just let Julia know when you're ready and she'll come find me." he told them smiling at them.

"Thank you so much Mr. Anderson." Roger said standing up to shake his hand.

"No problem Roger." he said before leaving the room.

"So what do you wanna do?" Roger asked looking over at Ashley.

"I don't know. I know the first baby I see, I'm going to want. Maybe you should just pick a random folder and that baby we'll pick." she told him rubbing her hands together.

"Are you sure that's the best thing to do Baby? I mean, shouldn't we look at each baby?" he asked as she stood up.

"Honey, if we were having this baby biologically, we wouldn't have a say in what it looks like or what it'll be. So why should it be any different with this?" she asked walking around nervously.

"Hey Ash, calm down. I'm the dad. I'm supposed to be the one pacing around nervously." he joked to lighten her mood.

"I know. I'm sorry Honey. I'm just really nervous." she said trying to laugh.

"Ash, everything is gonna be OK. We are almost there. Just a couple of more steps and we'll have our beautiful baby." he told her putting the folders down and holding her in his arms.

"I know. I'm sorry. Let's find a baby." she told him smiling up at him.

"Are you sure you're ready?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I'm ready." she told him leaning up to kiss him.

"I love you Ash." he told her caressing her hair.

"I love you so much Roger." she told him resting her head on his chest.

"I know Baby." he said kissing her head before they sat down.

"Eeny meeny miney moe sounds like a plan." she told him laughing.

"Then eeny meeny miney moe it is." he told her laughing back as they spread the folders out on the desk and did eeny meeny miney me.

"OK that one." she said pointing at a folder.

"OK let's see the baby lucky enough to get you as a mother." Roger told her smiling as he opened the folder. "Oh Ash, he's beautiful." he said looking at the picture.

"He?" she said smiling at him.

"Yeah a boy." he told her smiling up at her as she leaned towards him to see the picture.

"Roger, look at him. He's got green eyes, just like you." she said taking the picture.

"And beautiful blond hair like you." he said putting his arm around her.

"You too." she told him smiling at him.

"I guess so." he laughed leaning over to kiss her.

"How old is he? What's his prognosis?" she asked as Roger picked up his folder.

"He's 3 months old, his t-cell count is very high and his viral load is extremely low. He's perfect." he told her as they got tears in their eyes.

"OK, so this is our baby?" she asked smiling up at him.

"Yes his is our baby." he told her leaning over to kiss her head. "I'm gonna go tell the receptionist that we found our baby." he told her smiling at her. "I love you Ash." he whispered in her ear.

"I love you too Roger." she said smiling back at him still holding the picture in her hand.

"I hear you two have made your choice." Mr. Anderson said smiling as he re entered the office.

"Yes, we have picked him." Roger told him handing him the folder.

"So eeny meeny miney moe?" he said as Roger and Ashley laughed.

"Are we that transparent?" Ashley asked laughing at him.

"I figured the first baby you looked at would be your baby." he told them making notes in the baby's folder.

"We didn't want to be picky." Ashley told him still holding the picture in her hand.

"I understand that. So have we picked a name of this little guy yet?" Mr. Anderson asked as Roger and Ashley looked at one another.

"Roger Matthew. Like his father." Ashley told him smiling up at Roger.

"That is a strong name for a little boy. Would you like to meet him?" Mr. Anderson asked smiling at them.

"Could we?" Roger asked putting his arms around Ashley.

"Yes. Do you have time today?" he asked smiling at them.

"Yes, yes of course we do." Ashley answered excitedly.

"Just give me a second and I'll set it up." he told them smilng as he picked up the phone.

"We're gonna meet our son today." Ashley said as tears came to her eyes.

"Yes we are Baby." he told her kissing her head.


	22. Chapter 22

"Roger, Ashley. I would like you to meet your son Roger Matthew Davis." Mr. Anderson told them as the nurse took the baby out of the bassinette.

"Hi Roger Matthew." Ashley said quietly as the nurse placed the baby into her arms.

"How is he?" Roger asked smiling down at him.

"He's doing just fine. You can take him home in a couple days. He's been on his meds since birth and he's got an excellent chance of living a normal healthy life." the nurse told them smiling as Roger caressed the baby's cheek.

"He's even more beautiful then in his picture." Ashley said smiling up at Roger.

"Yeah, he is." Roger said as tears formed in his eyes.

"Do you want to hold him?" Ashley asked smiling up at him.

"Yeah I do." he answered smiling as Ashley handed the baby to him. "Hey buddy. I'm your dad." he whispered to him rocking him back and forth.

"We'll give you three some time alone to get to know each other. If you need us we'll be over there." Mr. Anderson told them smiling at them.

"Thank you Mr. Anderson." Roger said wiping his tears.

"No problem Roger. I'm just glad I could help." he told him smiling as he watched the new family together.

"Can you believe it?" Ashley asked smiling up at Roger.

"No I can't. He's incredible." Roger told her smiling down at him.

"This is our son." she told him as he sat in the rocking chair.

"I love you Ash." he told her smiling over at her.

"I love you too Roger." she told him kneeling next to the chair.

"And I love you Roger Matthew." he told him leaning down to kiss the baby's head. "This is so worth everything we've been through these last 7 months." Roger told her smiling down.

"Yeah it is." she told him caressing the baby's head.

"You want him back?" he asked looking over at her.

"That's OK. I like watching my boys." she told him caressing his arm.

"Would you two like a picture for the family album?" the nurse asked holding a camera.

"Yes please." Roger told her smiling up at her.

"Come on, Mrs. Davis get with your boys." the nurse told Ashley as she smiled at them.

"Can you take a picture of my boys first?" she asked standing back smiling at them.

"Sure." the nurse said smiling at her as she took the picture of Roger and their son.

"Are you guys excited?" Collins asked smiling as Roger and Ashley got ready to pick the baby up.

"Yeah, we are. I can't believe we're bringing him home today." Roger said as Ashley paacked the baby bag.

"Roger, did you install the carseat in the car?" she yelled from the baby's room.

"Yeah Baby, remember you were standing over me last night when I was doing it?" he told her sitting on the couch next to Collins.

"Is it right? It's got to be in right." she yelled as he laid his head back on the couch.

"Yes Baby, it's in right." he told her as Collins laughed.

"Geez, she is nervous." he told him.

"You think? Try living with her." Roger said laughing.

"I heard that Roger." she yelled as they laughed.

"How does she do that?" Roger asked running his fingers through his hair.

"Because you two are less than quiet, that's why." she told them coming out of the baby's room.

"Sorry Baby." he told her slumped on the couch.

"That's OK. Am I being insane?" she asked sitting next to Roger.

"No, you're not being insane. You're just nervous and excited. We're picking up our son today." he told her putting his arms around her.

"I can't wait until he's home." she told him leaning back into him.

"Me neither Baby." he said kissing her head.

"We have to get going Honey." she told him smiling.

"OK. Collins, we'll meet you at Ash's parents house." Roger told him smiling as they got up.

"Good luck guys. I can't wait to meet little Roger Matthew." he told them as he looked down at Ashley who had tears in her eyes. "Oh Babygirl, get over here. Everything is gonna be fine. You're going to pick up your baby boy today." he told her hugging her tight.

"I know. I just can't believe we're finally bringing him home. I just hope I can be the mother he deserves." she cried into his chest.

"Babygirl, you listen to me. Your heart is as big as they come. You are gonna be the best mother to this little boy, just like you are the best wife to his dad. This little boy is as lucky to have you as you are to have him." he told her kissing her head.

"Thanks Collins. I love you." she said smiling up at him.

"I love you too Babygirl." he said as Roger rubbed her back.

"We gotta go Baby." he whispered wiping his own eyes.

"OK. I'm sorry." she said smiling up at him.

"Go bring your son home." he told Roger hugging him.

"I will man. Thanks." he told him smiling as he and Ashley left the apartment.


	23. Chapter 23

"Are you ready Baby?" Roger asked as they sat outside in the car.

"Yeah, I'm ready." she told him smiling up at him as he opened the car door and reached into the back seat to get the baby out of his carseat.

"Come on buddy. Let's go meet your family." Roger said holding his son in his arms.

"Roger, wait." Ashley said standing on the sidewalk outside the McCoy house.

"What's the matter Baby?" he asked looking down at her.

"I just want to look at my boys one more time before the circus starts." she said smiling up at them.

"We love you Ash." he told her leaning down to kiss her.

"I love you guys too." she said caressing their cheeks before continuing on into the house.

"Here he is. Roger Matthew Davis Jr." Roger announced as they entered the house.

"He is gorgeous you guys." Mrs. Davis said as everyone rushed over to see the baby.

"Do you wanna hold your grandson, mom?" Roger asked smiling at her.

"Can I?" she asked with tears in her eyes.

"Of course, he's a part of the family." Ashley told her smiling.

"He is beautiful." Mrs. McCoy said standing over Mrs. Davis.

"He is, isn't he?" Roger told them putting his arms around Ashley.

"He really is." Mark told them smiling at him.

"I'm so happy for you guys. Wow, this is big." Maureen said hugging Ashley as she watched her mother and mother in law with her son.

"Yeah it is. Roger and I are officially someone's mom and dad." she told her smiling at them.

"You guys deserve this so much." Kelly said hugging them.

"Thanks." Ashley said smiling up at Roger. As she watched everyone get to know little Roger Matthew Davis Jr. she couldn't get over how quickly he took to everyone. He was a very happy baby. He began giggling almost instantly. He was passed around to everyone in the room while Roger and Ashley looked on smiling at them.

"OK, can I have my son please? I think he probably needs to be changed." Roger asked leaning down to take him from Adam.

"Oh come on. I can change him for you Rog." he told him smiling up at him.

"Nah, I'll do it. Come on buddy, let's go." Roger told him smiling at his son.

"OK Rog." Adam told him smiling at Ashley.

"He really loves that boy, doesn't he?" Michelle asked looking up at Ashley.

"Yeah, he does. He's his father." she told him sitting on the couch next to Jessica.

"And your his mother." she said putting her arms around her.

"I'm someone's mother now." she said leaning her head into her sisters.

"Yeah you are sweetie." Jessica said laughing as she kissed her younger sisters head.

"What are you gonna do about work?" Mr. Davis asked drinking his soda.

"Well I'm taking some time off to spend time with Roger Jr and then I'm gonna be transferred to the hospital around here. I wanna work with HIV positive babies." she told them smiling at them.

"Ash that's great." Kelly told her smiling at her.

"It's only gonna be part time though. When Roger gets out of work, I'm gonna go in for a few hours a few nights a week. I'm still gonna be working at the clinic in the city on Roger's days off. I don't want to leave there completely." she said as Roger and Roger Jr. came back into the room.

"Yeah, my wife the AIDS activist." Roger said handing the baby to her.

"Not an activist. I just think the work is important and I enjoy it." she told him as he leaned down to kiss her.

"It is important Ash." Michelle told her as Adam put his arms around her.

"Well I became a nurse to help people and that's what I want to do." she told them kissing Roger Jr's head.

"You do help people Baby. You're helping me and Roger Jr. here." Roger said kissing her head.

"You two are helping me too, you know." she said as everyone smiled at them.

"And you guys have helped all of us." Collins said wiping his eyes as everyone nodded.

"You guys really have, you know." Michelle told them as Adam held her closer kissing her head.

"I would like to propose a toast." Maureen called out holding up her iced tea.

"This should be interesting." Joanne said smiling at her as everyone laughed.

"Oh quit it." Maureen said laughing as she smiled at Roger and Ashley. "I would like to propose a toast to Roger, Ashley and their beautiful son. He is one lucky boy to have them want to be his parents." she told them as Roger smiled at her.

"Thanks Maureen. That was beautiful." Ashley told her smiling at Roger and the baby.

"I better go feed him. It's getting late." Roger told her taking the baby from her.

"Roger can I feed him? Please." Michelle asked smiling at Adam.

"Do you know how to feed a baby?" Roger asked getting up to get the baby's bottle warmed up.

"Roger, I'm not an idiot. I know how to feed a baby." she told him smiling up at him as he handed her the baby to hold so he could put the water on.

"Well you know you can't lay him all the way down, right?" he asked taking the bottle out of the fridge.

"Yes Roger, I know. Since when do you know so much about babies?" she asked rocking her nephew in her arms.

"Ashley, the hospital, books. I've been doing my research." he told her smiling at his son.

"This is really great Roger. Everyone is so happy for you and Ash and Roger Jr. over here." she said smiling down at her nephew.

"Roger Jr., we have to come up with something better to call him." Roger told her smiling as the water began to boil.

"How about RJ?" she asked smiling at him.

"I don't know. I was thinking of calling him Matt. You know for his middle name?" he asked smiling at her.

"Matt. I like it." Ashley told him from the doorway of the kitchen.

"Hey Baby. Michelle and I were just talking about things to call Roger Jr. What do you like better, RJ or Matt?" he asked putting the baby's bottle in the water.

"I like Matt. He looks like a Matt, doesn't he?" she said smiling down at her son.

"Matt it is." he told her kissing her head before directing his attention to the baby's bottle.

"I've never seen you like this Roger. I like this side of you." Michelle said smiling at him.

"Well I've never been a father before. I'm really liking it." he told her testing the baby's bottle on his wrist before putting it back in the pot to warm a little bit more.

"I can tell." she said smiling at him.


	24. Chapter 24

"Roger, I can get him, you know?" Ashley told him as Roger took the baby out of the crib.

"I know. I just like spending time with him, right buddy?" he told her as she baby giggled in his arms. "See?" he told her laughing.

"You know, you have to start getting ready for work." she told him standing in the doorway of the baby's room smiling at them.

"I know. I'll be there on time. I just want to spend some time with my son before I have to leave him." he told her changing the baby's diaper.

"Honey, you're only gonna be gone 8 hours. And then when you come home you're gonna be laying on the floor with him until you put him to bed, like you always do." she told him laughing as the baby kicked his feet.

"I know, but Ash, I love hanging out with him. He's getting so big. I don't want to miss out on anything." he told her picking him up off of the changing table.

"You won't miss anything with him." she told him as she reached out for the baby. "Come on my little man, let's let daddy get ready for work." she said smiling at the baby.

"I just want his first memory to be of his father playing with him and loving him." he told her leaning down to kiss Matt's head.

"Roger, he's only 6 months old. He's not gonna remember stuff for a while." she told him laughing.

"We don't know that. He's a very smart kid. He could remember everything." Roger told her going into the kitchen to fix the baby's bottle.

"Roger, he knows you love him." she told him putting the baby down in his porta crib in the living room before following Roger into the kitchen.

"I know he knows." he told her taking the bottle out of the refrigerator.

"Roger, he knows. You tell him all the time and everything you do shows him that you do." she told him holding his arm.

"I know Baby. It's just really important for kids to know they're loved. Especially adopted kids. I don't want him to wonder what's wrong with him because his mother gave him up." he told her turning to look down at her.

"Roger, there is nothing wrong with him and he's gonna know that." she told him quietly holding back tears.

"I know there's nothing wrong with him. Ash, he is the most incredible kid I could have ever asked for. I love him so much. You just know how kids are. They over analyze things." he told her caressing her face.

"I know. I worry about him too. But we just have to do our best to make sure he knows his mother gave him up because she couldn't take care of him and we wanted him so badly and love him with all of our hearts and souls." she told him as he wiped her tears.

"He will." he told her taking her into his arms and holding her close.

"I know Honey." she said leaning up to kiss him. "Now, you have to get ready for work. I'll feed Matt." she told him smiling up at him.

"But I wanted to feed him." he told her whining as she took the bottle from him.

"Not this morning daddy. But you can feed him dinner tonight." she said smiling at him.

"Do you have to work tonight?" he asked smiling down at her.

"Yeah, I have to work 7 to midnight." she told him putting the pot of water on the stove.

"Well at least we get to eat dinner together." he told her resisting the urge to pick the baby up on his way to his and Ashley's room.

"Do you have band practice tonight?" she asked standing in the doorway of the bedroom as Roger got dressed.

"Yeah, so we'll be at your parents house from 7 to 9." he told her buttoning his jeans.

"OK. I'm so glad you guys moved band practice closer to home." she told him as he put his shirt on.

"Yeah well, your parents volunteered to let us use the basement. How could I say no?" he told her smiiling up at her as he put his boots on.

"Dad just likes bragging that his son in law is a rock star." she said laughing as she heard the water boil.

"And your mom took pity on me. When I would drop Matt off, she saw what a hard time I had leaving him." he told her taking the baby out of the portacrib.

"That's because you're a good daddy." she told him leaning up to kiss him.

"And you're a meanie and won't let me quit the band." he said laughing at her.

"Oh no, Roger Matthew Davis Sr. you are not quitting the Boho Knights. You are too talented and you love your music." she told him taking that baby from him

"But Baby, it's not that important to me anymore. I want to be here with Matt." he told her smiling at her.

"Roger, it's your band. You love playing and I don't think you would be doing Matt any favors by quitting. You're supposed to be the one to show him to follow his dream and do what he's passionate about." she told him testing the bottle.

"And what about you, Ash. You loved playing in the band too." he told her sitting at the kitchen table.

"Yeah, but I only did it because I liked performing with you. I want to be here with Matt now." she told him beginning to feed Matt.

"Well I want you to perform with me next week." he told her as she sat next to him.

"Roger, I haven't performed in 6 months. But I will come and watch you this friday." she said smiling at him.

"Come on Baby. At least do one song with me." he asked flashing his green eyes at her.

"You do realize between you and your son, I'm screwed with those green eyes." she said laughing at him.

"Is that a yes?" he asked smiling at her.

"When have you known me to be able to say no to you?" she asked laughing as he leaned up to kiss her.

"I love you Baby." he said laughing as she smiled at her.

"I love you too Roger. Now you have to go to work now." she told him as he leaned down to kiss the baby.

"I love you Matt. I'll see you guys later." he said kissing Ashley's head before leaving for work.


	25. Chapter 25

"Hey Ash, what are you doing out?" Michelle asked smiling at her sister in law as she and Roger got to the club.

"What do you mean, what am I doing here? My husband plays here. What are you doing here?" she asked laughing as she hugged her.

"Adam thought it would be cool to come to the city for the weekend. We figured we'd come see Roger play tonight, stay at the loft with Mark and Kelly and then spend the day with our nephew tomorrow." she told her smiling at her.

"Well I'm so glad you came. You should see Matt. He's getting so big." Ashley told them excitedly.

"Baby, I gotta go in for soundcheck. I'll see you guys inside." Roger said leaning down to kiss Ashley before going inside.

"OK Honey." she told him smiling up at him.

"Hey Babygirl." Collins said hugging her tight.

"Hi Collins. How are you?" she asked hugging him back.

"I'm good. How's my little nephew?" he asked kissing her head.

"He's incredible. As usual." she told him beaming with pride.

"So where are the pictures of my nephew I know you're dying to show me?" Michelle asked smiling at Ashley.

"You know me way too well." Ashley told her laughing as she pulled out a small album from her pocket book.

"Oh my goodness, look at him. So tell me Ash, does my brother ever let you near him?" she asked looking at all of the pictures of Roger and Matt.

"You have no idea how attatched they are to each other. If Roger's not the first face Matt sees in the morning, he's cranky all day." Ashley told her laughing.

"Who would have guessed my brother would be such a devoted father?" Michelle asked as Ashley smiled over at her.

"I did, thank you very much." she told her smiling back at her.

"I knew too." Collins said raising his hand laughing.

"Look how close they are. Dad and Roger were never this close. I mean yeah, dad used to go skiing with Roger and take him hunting, but Roger hated hunting. He would rather sit in his room playing his guitar." Michelle told her laughing.

"Yeah well, what can I say? They're my boys. Do you know Matt's not even a year old and Roger is already trying to teach him how to play guitar? It's adorable really. There's a picture in there somewhere of it. Matt loves listening to Roger play." Ashley told her smiling at her.

"That is really cute. I'm glad you guys are so happy." she told her as Roger came out with Adam.

"We couldn't be better." Ashley told her as Roger came up behind her wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Isn't he the most incredible kid you've ever seen?" he said looking at the pictures of Matt.

"He sure is Roger." Adam told him smiling down at the pictures.

"He's daddy's pretty incredible too." Ashley said turning around to kiss Roger.

"I second that." Collins said smiling at them.

"Yeah well, I owe it all to his mommy." he said holding her close.

"You two are so sickening." Michelle said laughing at them.

"When you're married for over 3 years and have a kid, you should be so lucky to still be in love like me and Ash are." Roger told her smiling at Adam.

"Yeah, I guess we could do worse." Michelle told them smilng as Terry came out.

"Hey Rog, we're on in 5. Ash. I didn't know you were here. How are you?" Terry said hugging her.

"I'm really good. How about you Terry? Do you miss me?" she asked smiling up at him.

"You have no idea. Every time Roger sings I'm With You, I miss you standing in the front row crying." he told her laughing.

"Every time?" Michelle asked laughing with him.

"Yep Every time." he said smiling down at Ashley.

"It's a beautiful song." she said defensively.

"So Terry, do you wanna see the new pictures of Matt we have?" Roger asked excitedly smiling at him.

"How many pictures do you take of this boy?" Terry asked looking at the pictures.

"I like taking pictures of my boys." Ashley told him laughing.

"Roger, he's not even a year old, why are you trying to teach him how to play the guitar already?" Terry asked laughing at the picture of Matt on Roger's lap and the guitar in front of them.

"What? It's never too early." Roger told him laughing putting his arms around Ashley's shoulders.

"You're too much Rog. Where are all the pictures of Ash and Matt?" he asked looking up at them.

"I like taking pictures of him and Roger. My beautiful boys." she said smiling at him.

"They do look great together." Terry told him smiling at the pictures.

"Terry, what the hell? You were coming out to get Roger and you disappeared. We're on in 2 minutes." Andrew told him exiting the bar.

"Sorry, we got sidetracked. Baby pictures." Ashley told him as he smiled wide.

"Ash, I didn't know you were here. Wow, how are you? How's Matt?" he asked hugging her hello.

"We're great Andrew. How are you?" she asked smiling at him.

"I'm great. I miss you though. Between the macho men here and the two queens, I'm helpless." he told her laughing.

"Sorry, but my place is with my son now. We were just looking at the new pictures of him and Roger." she told him smiling at him.

"Well I'd love to see them, but we kind of have a show to do. Are you gonna be around later? For old times sake?" he asked as Roger and Terry tried to look innocent.

"Yeah, Matt's staying at my moms tonight, so I can hang out for a little while." she told him smiling at him.

"OK come on Andrew. Geez, are you gonna stay out here all night? We have a show to do." Roger said as Terry laughed hysterically.

"You two are still not funny." Ashley told them as they went inside.

"Admit it Baby. You missed us." Roger said smiling down at Ashley.

"Yeah I did." she told them as they went inside.

"Are you gonna sing, Ash?" Andrew asked smiling at her.

"I'm here, what do you think?" she asked laughing as she looked up at Roger.

"He flashed you his smile and eyes and you couldn't resist?" he guessed laughing as she nodded. "Awesome, I missed hearing you sing." he told her as he went onstage.

"I gotta go Baby. I love you. I'm singing for just you tonight." he told her leaning down to kiss her.

"I missed you singing for just me." she said smiling up at him. "I love you too." she said caressing his cheek.

"Hi Ash." Dustin called out waving at her.

"Hi guys." she said smiling at them as she waved back. "Go Roger." she screamed cheering him on.

"Hey Baby. Hey everybody, as always I am Roger Davis and we are The Boho Knights and we have a special show in store for you tonight. My wife Ashley is taking a night off from our beautiful son Matt to come out and be with grown ups, and I use that term loosely, so without further ado, let's get on with the music. As they began to play, Ash realized how much she really missed singing with Roger. She felt so alive on stage. But her son needed her and there was just nothing that could compare to being with Matt. "I missed saying this, so give me a minute." Roger said smiling down at Ashley as everyone cheered. "And now we have a special guest I'd like to ask to join us right now, Ashley Davis, come on Baby." he yelled over the screams.

"Go Ash." Michelle yelled as Roger helped her up on stage.

"Hi Honey." she said in the microphone smiling at him as her friends and everyone else cheered for her.

"Hey Baby. You ready?" he asked smiling at her.

"Yeah, I'm ready." she told him smiling at everyone. As Terry started the opening riff to Close My Eyes Forever everyone cheered. They hadn't done that song in a long time, but they didn't rehearse the one Roger wrote for them and Ashley missed doing it. "_Baby, I get so scared inside and I don't really understand. Is it love that's on my mind or is it fantasy?" _she began as Roger smiled before approaching his guitar.

"_Heaven, is in the palm of my hand and it's waiting here for you. What am I supposed to do with a childhood tragedy. If I close my eyes forever. Will it all remain unchanged? If I close my eyes forever. Will it all remain the same? Sometimes, it's hard to hold on, so hard to hold on to my dreams. It isn't always what it seems when your're face to face with me." _Roger sung as Ashley just watched, enjoying watching his electricity.

"_You're like a dagger. And you stick me in the heart. And taste the blood from my blade. And when we sleep, would you shelter me, from your warm and darkened grave. If I close my eyes forever. Will it all remain unchanged? If i close my eyes forever. Will it all remain the same? Will you ever take me?" _Ashley sung in her kick ass rock chick voice as everyone cheered.

"_No I just can't take the pain." _Roger countered smiling at her.

"_Will you ever trust me?"_ Ashley sung smiling back at him.

"_No I'll never feel the same, oh. Close your eyes, close your eyes. You gotta close your eyes for me." _he sang ending the song as everyone hooted and hollered. "Thank you. Ashley Davis everyone. Now I would like to slow things down for our last song, but Ash, stay here Baby." he told her as she put the microphone back on it's stand.

"What? Roger, I've never stayed up here when you've done my song." she told him as he smiled at her.

"Well tonight I would like to sing it to you up here. Are you OK with that?" he asked smiling at her.

"OK." she told him smiling at him as he leaned over to kiss her.

"For those of you who don't know this, I wrote this song for my wife way back when we started dating about 3 and a half years ago in the course of a weekend. I met her on a friday night after a show and we started dating the next night. I started writing the song the night I met her. Between flashbacks of Bon Jovi's Livin on a Prayer. My wife's fault totally, and I performed it for her the next friday. I sung it her every week after that until she quit coming out to be with our amazing son Matt. So, on that note, here's I'm With You." he said as everyone laughed and he started playing it.

_Starlight and wonder  
The universe seen through your eyes  
The moon is a glorious halo  
Hanging high over your head every night  
Spinning and spinning  
A flick of the wrist and a smile  
And in the morning so early  
Deep conversations are spoken  
in tongues by sunlight  
Tonight, you can dream you're a star  
You can walk on the clouds  
And float to the ground  
And I'm with you  
Tonight you can get very far  
The calm and the storm, and forever yours  
And I'm with you  
We stare out the window  
And look to the sky every night  
The stars are the beacons of heaven,  
And maybe one day you'll go up for a ride  
Oh you are the sunshine,  
you are the face that I dream of  
You are your mother's religion, down on her knees as she kisses your  
Heartache away  
I've thrown coins in the fountain,  
I've been to the mountain  
I've lived trough the violence,  
I've seen what man can do to man  
I can't promise you peace,  
I can't promise you money  
But I promise to make you the best man I can  
Hold on to something_

_Cause your life's about to begin._

"I love you Ash." he told her as he wrapped his arms around her as she cried and the crowd cheered.

"I love you too Roger." she told him holding him tight.

"That's our show. Goodnight." Roger yelled laughing as he took his guitar off and they stepped off stage.

"I can't believe after 3 and a half years you still cry when he sings you that song." Michelle said laughing as Adam held her in his arms.

"OK Can we stop torturing me now? Come on, I wanna hang out with my friends tonight." she told them wiping her eyes.

"What, no dragging Roger outside for a smoochfest?" Maureen asked teasingly.

"Do we wanna know?" Adam asked laughing.

"After each show, I used to drag Roger outside and I would tell him how much I loved him and we always got caught making out." Ashley told him as Roger held on to her.

"And then they would come inside and we'd propose a toast to whatever we were celebrating that week." Collins told them smiling at them.

"Oooh can I propose a toast?" Adam asked excitedly as they got their drinks.

"Sure, why not? Whatcha got?" Collins asked picking up his stoli.

"OK, I want to propose a toast to Roger and Ashley. I am so pissed we never came down to see you guys perform regularly. You guys are awesome. Seriousfuckinly awesome. Also, Michelle, I would like to ask you for the incredible honor of becoming my wife." he asked as everyone stood there stunned.

"What?" Michelle asked looking up at him.

"What?" Ashley asked taken completely off guard.

"Michelle, will you marry me?" he asked taking an engagement ring out of his pocket.

"This is beautiful. When did you do this?" Michelle asked smiling up at him with tears in her eyes.

"I've had it for a while. I was waiting for the right time. And after listening to Roger sing that song to Ashley, it felt like the right time." Adam said smiling down at her.

"Oh my God Adam, I don't know what to say." she told him staring at the ring.

"Say you will." he said laughing.

"Oh my God, of course I will. I love you Adam." she told him wrapping her arms around his neck to hold him close as everyone clapped.

"Yay, a wedding." Ashley called out wiping the tears from her eyes as Roger kissed her head.


	26. Chapter 26

"Roger, will you get off of the floor with him and please get him ready? Everyone will be here soon." Ashley told him from the kitchen as she took out the snacks.

"Oh come on Ash, we're racing." Roger told her playing with matchbox cars.

"Roger, get him dressed please." she asked again looking down at him.

"OK. Come on Matt, mommy need you to get dressed." Roger said putting the cars in the toybox in the living room before picking Matt up and bringing him into his room to get dressed.

"Make sure you put his over alls and his dinosaur t-shirt on, OK?" she asked calling out to him.

"I know how to dress my son Ash." he told her laughing as he put back the black t-shirt and jeans and took out the overalls and dinosaur t-shirt.

"Yeah, how did I know you were gonna want to put him in that shirt?" she asked leaning in the doorway laughing at him.

"Because it's supercool." he told her laughing as he started dressing Matt.

"Only your son would have a baby Motley Crue t-shirt." she told him entering his room.

"That's because my son is the coolest kid ever." he said kissing Matt's head as he dressed him.

"That's because he has the coolest daddy ever. What other daddy would lay on the floor with him for hours playing with blocks, legos and matchbox cars?" she asked sitting in the rocking chair.

"Well he likes blocks, legos and matchbox cars." he told her smiling down at her.

"And so do you. Admit it." she said him laughing as she got up.

"Yeah I do. I'm not afraid to admit it." he told her as he came up behind him wrapping her arms around his waist.

"And that's what makes you the coolest dad ever." she told him smiling up at him.

"Ash, Roger are you here?" Kelly called out as she and Mark entered the apartment.

"Yeah, we're in Matt's room." Ashley answered smiling at Matt.

"Hey guys. How's the birthday boy?" Mark asked smiling as Matt reached out for him.

"Daddy was just getting him dressed." Ashley told them smiling at them as Mark picked Matt up.

"Hey Matty buddy. Happy birthday kiddo." he said kissing his head.

"Yeah, Matty you're one now." Kelly told him caressing Matt's head.

"Kel, what's that?" Ashley asked taking her hand.

"Oh this? Mark proposed to me last night." she told her showing off the ring on her left hand.

"Oh my God, congratulations you guys. First Michelle and Adam and now you guys. This is incredible." she said hugging her.

"Yeah, I thought it was about time. I mean, we started dating at the same time you guys did and here you are married with a baby already." Mark said laughing as Matt struggled to get down.

"Well you can't go by Roger and me. We did a lot of things fast. Granted they all turned out for the best, but we did things fast." Ashley said laughing as Roger put his arm around her.

"What? I was in love with my girl. I didn't want to take things slow. I just wanted to be with her. At least I waited 6 months to propose." Roger told them as they left the baby's room.

"But Rog, you had her ring after, what 2 months?" Mark asked laughing at him.

"I had to wait for the right time." Roger answered laughing.

"My romantic husband." Ashley said as Matt ran to his cars in the living room.

"Daddy." he called out holding up the cars.

"I'm coming buddy." he called out smiling. "Dad duty calls." he told them getting down on the floor and resuming his game of cars with Matt.

"Aren't they adorable?" Ashley said going into the kitchen for her camera.

"I never thought I'd see Roger rolling around on the floor racing matchbox cars." Mark said laughing.

"If he's not working, in bed or performing, this is where you'll find him." she said taking pictures of her boys on the floor.

"Wow." Kelly said laughing as Mr. And Mrs. Davis, Michelle and Adam walked into the apartment.

"Where's our birthday boy?" Mrs. Davis called out going into the living room.

"We're in here mom." Ashley called out smiling at them.

"Where's my granson?" she asked excitedly as everyone watched Roger play on the floor with Matt.

"He's playing on the floor with daddy." Ashley told her smiling at her.

"Oh, isn't that the cutest thing you have ever seen?" Mrs. Davis said smiling at them.

"Hey mom. Look who's here Matt. Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Michelle and Uncle Adam." he told him pointing up at them as Matt got up to go to them.

"Hi my boy." Mrs. Davis said leaning down to pick Matt up.

"He's getting so big." Mr. Davis told them smiling at him.

"I know dad. He is getting big." Roger told him getting up off of the floor.

"Roger, you cut your hair." Michelle said seeing Roger's hair.

"Yeah, I felt like it was time." he told them smiling.

"It looks really good. But it's so dark. Was it always so dark?" Mrs. Davis asked looking up at his hair.

"Mom, I've been bleaching it for 15 years. Who can remember what my natural color actually was." he told her laughing.

"Are you gonna start coloring it again?" Kelly asked looking up at him.

"Not sure yet. I guess if I feel like it I might." he told her laughing.

"I don't think you should. I like it the way it is." Ashley told him playing with his hair. "Except I'm gonna miss running my fingers through your gorgeous long hair." she told him leaning up to kiss him.

"I'm not. No more blow drying it, no more fussing with it. It was really high maintenance." he told her smiling down at her.

"You're telling me? Every time I turned around you were playing with your hair." Ashley said laughing.

"Yeah well to be fair, you used to yell at me about playing with my hair and I wasn't." he said wrapping his arms around her.

"Rarely." she told him as everyone laughed.

"Very funny." he told her leaning down to kiss her.

"I know. It's a gift." she said laughing as Collins, Maureen and Joanne entered the apartment followed by Mr. And Mrs. McCoy, Jessica and Noah.

"Now this is a party." Collins called out laughing as everyone went into the living room to sit down as Roger and Ashley went into the kitchen to get all the party food.

"Can you believe Matt's one already?" Roger asked wrapping his arms around her.

"I know. It seems like only yesterday we were sitting at that table filling out the papers to get him." she said holding him in her arms.

"It was all worth it, Ash. Every second of it. The endless paper work, the meetings with the social worker, all of it." he whispered as he kissed her head.

"Yeah it was. You know, I knew you would be a great father, but this was beyond my wildest dreams." she told him smiling at him.

"I love him Ash. I just want to be the best father I can be to him." he told her smiling back.

"And you are Roger. You definitely are." she told him as Mark and Kelly came into the kitchen.

"Hey guys, you have company. Can't you keep your hands off of each other for one afternoon." Mark teased with his arm around Kelly.

"We weren't doing anything. We were just talking about Matt and what it took to get him and how if we had to do it again, we would in a heartbeat as long as we still got him." Roger told them smiling at Ashley.

"I hear ya Rog." Mark told him holding Kelly in his arms.

"Do you guys remember the last time we were in this kitchen like this?" Ashley asked smiling at them.

"The morning after you and Roger sung karaoke together and the day he moved in here and I moved in with Mark. Wow, that was..." Kelly started before Ashley cut her off.

"Almost 4 years ago." she told her laughing.

"Yeah. Wow, time flies, huh?" Kelly said laughing before they all went into the living room with everyone else.


	27. Chapter 27

"Come on Matt, time for school." Roger said knocking on the 5 year olds bedroom door.

"I don't want to go to school daddy. I wanna stay here with you." he told him sitting on the edge of his bed still in his pajamas.

"But Matt, you have to go to school. You're a big boy now." Roger said sitting on the bed next to him.

"But you and mommy aren't there. I don't want to go." he said looking up at him.

"Listen Matt, you gotta go to school and learn stuff." he told him smiling down at him.

"But you and mommy say I'm smart already." he said looking down.

"Matt, what's going on, dude? Talk to me." Roger said bringing the boy on his lap.

"I just want to stay here and play with you." he told him looking up at him.

"But after I bring you to school, I'm going to work. So, you see. I'm not gonna be here to play with you." he said looking down at him.

"Are you gonna pick me up from school?" he asked looking up at him.

"No buddy, mommy's gonna pick you up." he said smiling at him.

"How long do I hafta stay at school?" he asked playing with his pajamas.

"Until the little hand is on the 3 and the big hand is on the 12." he told him smiling.

"OK, but can we go to the park after school and get ice cream from the ice cream man?" he asked looking up at him.

"You're gonna have to ask mommy when she picks you up." he told him as Matt jumped off of his lap.

"OK thanks daddy." she said smiling up at him.

"Now put on the clothes mommy picked out for you. We have to get going." he told him smiling as he got up off of the bed.

"OK." he said starting to get dressed. Roger couldn't believe how big Matt had gotten. He was starting kindergarten already. In a way he was excited and in a way he was petrified. His little boy was growing up. It wasn't something he looked forward to. They were both still really healthy, but the older they got, the more he worried. He didn't want Ashley to have to worry about losing either one of them. She had started picking up more hours at the hospital with Matt starting school and she had already lost too many people to HIV. He wished that she would quit working with HIV positive and AIDS patients. She was so sad some days when she came home from work, it broke his heart. "Daddy, I'm ready." Matt yelled running out of his room.

"You look like such a big boy buddy." Roger said looking down at him.

"Can we go now? I wanna go now." Matt begged jumping at Roger's side.

"Yeah, gimma a minute, dude." he said smiling down at him as he got Matt's bookbag off of the couch and grabbed his coffee mug. "OK, now we're ready." he said smiling at him before they left the apartment and started walking to school.

"Daddy, am I gonna have friends?" Matt asked looking up Roger as he held his hand.

"Of course you're gonna have friends buddy. Why do you ask that?" Roger asked looking down at him.

"I don't know. I mean, I don't have any kid friends. I have you and mommy and Uncle Collins and Uncle Mark and Aunt Kelly and Aunt Michelle and Uncle Adam and Aunt Jessie and Uncle Noah and both gramma's and grampa's, but no kid friends. Am I allowed to have kid friends?" he asked as Roger stopped him in the middle for the sidewalk.

"Listen Matt. The only reason why you don't have any kid friends is because mommy and daddy don't have any friends who have kids. Otherwise, you'd be the most popular kid. It's not your fault you know." he told him leaning down in front of him.

"So I'm allowed to have kid friends?" he asked looking at him.

"Of course you are. And you're gonna have a lot of friends when you get to school. Just don't be afraid to talk to people OK, buddy?" he said as Matt leaned in to hug him.

"OK daddy. I promise." he said smiling at him.

"OK, now we better get you to school. You don't wanna be late your first day, huh?" he asked kissing his head.

"OK, I love you daddy." he said as Roger held him tighter.

"I love you so much Matt." he said smiling at his son. "Oh, before I forget. The teacher is gonna call you Roger." he said smiling over at him.

"But daddy, that's your name. I'm Matt." he told him looking at him confused.

"You see Matt, your name is Roger Matthew Davis Jr. Mommy and I thought it would be better to call you Matt instead of calling you Roger and confusing everyone because that's my name too." he told him laughing a little.

"So you and mommy named me after you?" he asked smiling at him.

"Yeah buddy we did." he told him smiling back.

"Cool. I'm named after you." he said excitedly as Roger stood up.

"OK, so don't forget. The teacher calls out Roger, that's you. I mean, I can ask her to call you Matt because that's what me and mommy and everyone else call you, if you want?" he asked looking down at him.

"No, I like that my name is Roger. It's your name." he said smiling up at him.

"OK, but me and mommy and everyone else are still gonna call you Matt. I don't think mommy can handle yelling at 2 Roger's." Roger told him laughing.

"Yeah, you get yelled at enough by mommy." Matt said laughing with Roger.

"Well you get me in trouble most of the time." Roger said swinging the boy's arm.

"No mommy says it's because you're a big kid." Matt said laughing as they approached the school.

"Well I am." he said taking Matt's bookbag off of his shoulder and putting it on Matt's back. "Are you ready, buddy?" he asked leaning dwon to him.

"Yeah, I'm ready daddy." he told him excitedly smiling up at him.

"OK, have a good first day and be good. Remember I love you." he said kissing his head.

"I love you too daddy." Matt said reaching up to hug Roger before running on to the school yard. He looked so confident as tears sprung to Roger's eyes as he watched his son run up to a group of kids and say hi. He couldn't help but laugh as he stood there watching as Matt went into the school excited.


	28. Chapter 28

"Michelle, Adam what are you two doing here?" Ashley asked opening the door for them.

"We wanted to visit our nephew. Is that a crime?" Michelle said as she and Adam entered the apartment.

"Well Matt's still at school and you know that, so what gives?" Ashley asked folding her arms looking up at them.

"We're pregnant." Michelle blurted out as Adam covered his ears while the girls screamed.

"What? Oh my God, that's great. I didn't even know you were trying?" Ashley said hugging Michelle.

"We didn't want to jinx it." Michelle told her laughing.

"Oh my God, we need to celebrate. This is big. Really big. I'm gonna be an aunt." Ashley said with tears in her eyes.

"And a godmother." Michelle said smiling at her.

"Are you kidding?" Ashley asked as Adam smiled down at her.

"There's no one else we would consider." he said leaning down to hug her.

"I would be honored." Ashley said smiling up at them.

"We have to call Roger." Michelle said wiping her eyes.

"I have a better idea. I have to pick Matt up in a little while, we can all go by the restaurant and surprise him. He usually takes break about that time to call Matt after school." Ashley told them smiling at them.

"That's a great idea." Adam said smiling down at them.

"I can't wait to see Matt. I missed him so much." Michelle said excitedly as she sat on the couch.

"He misses you guys too." Ashley said smiling at her. "So tell me, how pregnant are you? When did you find out? Tell me everything." she asked sitting next to her.

"I'm 8 weeks and we found out a couple of weeks ago, but didn't want to tell anyone yet. We didn't want to jinx it." she told her smiling at her.

"That's amazing. I am so happy for you guys." she said with a huge smile on her face.

"We were concerned about telling you." Michelle said looking up at her.

"Me? Why?" Ashley asked confused.

"Well you never got to be pregnant and we were just afraid it would hurt you." she told her as Ashley reached out for her hand.

"Oh sweetie, our decision to adopt Matt had nothing to do with me not being able to get pregnant. We just decided that we wanted to adopt a baby who needed loving parents the most. Roger and I could get pregnant if we want, but we wanted to give a baby, who would normally go into foster care, a home." she smiling at her.

"Really? I never knew that. I just assumed." Michelle said looking up at Adam.

"That's OK. I mean, at first Roger wasn't sure about adopting a baby with HIV, but when I first got into nursing, I used to take care of HIV positive babies who were abandoned by their parents and it broke my heart that no one wanted to adopt them. The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea and that's how we got our beautiful Roger Matthew Davis Jr." she told them smiling up at a picture of Roger and Matt that was hanging up on the living room wall.

"I'm sorry, I just thought it was because of Roger's HIV that you couldn't get pregnant." Michelle said as Adam caressed her shoulder.

"Michelle, that's OK. Don't worry about it. I mean, I would have loved to give birth to mine and Roger's child, but I couldn't imagine loving any child more than we love Matt." she said leaning on her legs.

"Me too. Matt's an incredible kid. How's he doing in school?" Adam asked smiling at her.

"He's doing so well. He's the student of the month every month." she told them beaming with pride.

"What's that?" Adam asked leaning forward.

"Well the kid who gets the best grades and is the most well behaved for the month is that month's student of the month." she said getting up to get Matt's certificates out of the wall unit.

"That's great Ash." Michelle said looking through the certificates.

"Roger studies with him every night and he loves first grade." she said putting the certificates back.

"I can't believe our baby is in first grade already." Michelle said looking up at Adam.

"I know. He's getting so big. Roger's teaching him how to play the guitar and everything." she said smiling at them.

"So he'll be in a band in no time then?" Adam asked laughing.

"Not you too." she said laughing.

"So how's work Ash?" Michelle asked laughing with them.

"Good. I quit the clinic last week. I'm just working at the hospital now." she said looking down sadly.

"Why did you quit the clinic? I thought you loved the clinic?" Adam asked looking up at her.

"I couldn't take it emotionally. The doctors said they were surprised I was able to handle it as long as I did." she told them sitting next to Michelle.

"OH honey, we're sorry." Michelle said holding her hand.

"Yeah, losing all those patients just hit too close to home, you know? I mean, I have Roger and Collins and Matt. It was too hard seeing them whither away, you know?" she asked wiping her tears from her eyes.

"I know sweetie. But you don't have to worry about losing any of them for a while. Collins and Roger are on that new cocktail and Matt's doing great, right?" Michelle asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, all my boys are doing great. Thank God. I couldn't handle losing any of them." she said getting up.

"Ash, is everything OK?" Adam asked following her into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I mean I worry about them, but yeah, they're fine." she said smiling up at him.

"If you ever need to talk, you know we're here, right?" he asked standing over her as Michelle stood in the doorway.

"I know. Thanks. Really, I appreciate it." she said hugging him as her watch alarm went off. "Time to go get Matt from school." she said smiling as they put their coats on and left for the school.


	29. Chapter 29

"Hey Matty." Michelle called out as Matt's class came out.

"Aunt Michelle, Uncle Adam!" the boy yelled running up to hug them.

"Hey little man. Your mom's been telling us how good you're doing in school. We're proud of you." Adam said ruffling the boy's blond hair.

"Yeah, daddy helps me with my homework and stuff. Are you guys sleeping over?" Matt asked looking up at them.

"No buddy, we're gonna go to the city and stay with Aunt Kelly and Uncle Mark." Adam told him smiling down at him.

"You got so big." Michelle said smiling at her nephew.

"Yeah mommy says I'm getting too big." Matt said smiling up at Ashley.

"Well you are. You're gonna be as big as daddy soon." she said smiling back at him.

"That's cool. I like being like daddy." he said as Ashley simply smiled at him.

"Hey Matt. How would you like to go visit daddy at the restaurant?" she asked as he jumped up and down.

"Yes, yes, yes." he answered excitedly as Adam, Michelle and Ashley looked at each other.

"I take that as a yes." Ashley said laughing.

"I like seeing daddy after school." he said holding Michelle's hand.

"I know you do my sweet boy." Ashley said smiling at him.

"So, I was thinking we could out prank the master prankster." Adam said smiling slyly at Ashley.

"Torturing Roger? I love it. I'm in." Ashley said laughing as they walked to Adam and Michelle's car.

"Hey Baby." Roger said as Ashley and Matt walked into the restaurant and Michelle and Adam waited outside.

"Hi daddy." Matt said smiling at him.

"Hey buddy. How was school?" he asked kneeling down to hug him.

"Great." Matt told him smiling.

"To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?" he asked picking Matt up.

"I don't know, we felt like seeing you."she said leaning up to kiss him.

"Cool. Why don't you guys sit down? We'll have a late lunch." he said smiling down at them.

"Daddy, can I have a chocolate milkshake?" Matt asked as Roger seated them in the dining room.

"Of course you can Matt." he said kissing his sons cheek as he put him down.

"Thank you daddy." he said smiling at him.

"No problem buddy. What do you feel like Baby?" he asked sitting down with them.

"Well, I was in a mood for baby shrimp with baby corn and baby carrots." she said looking up at him.

"OK. Are you hungry Matt?" he asked not seeing the theme.

"I want baby back ribs." he said smiling at him.

"Baby back ribs, baby shrimp, baby corn, baby carrots? Am I missing something?" he asked looking at Ashley.

"What do you mean Baby?" she asked smiling at him.

"You know what I mean. Ash are you...?" he asked smiling as he reached out for her hand.

"No, but we are." Michelle said coming into the restaurant.

"No way. Oh my God, I thought we were." he told them looking at Ash.

"Sorry Baby." she said holding his hand.

"It's OK." he told her almost sadly as he got up to congratulate Michelle and Adam "Congratulations you guys." he said smiling happily at them. As Ashley watched them she began thinking about the look Roger gave her. They had been talking about adopting another baby, but they wanted to wait until Matt was a little bit older.

"I'm sorry we tricked you man. We wanted to prank the master." Adam said smiling at him.

"I'm happy for you guys." Roger told them smiling.

"We need to celebrate." Ashley said smiling up at them as Michelle and Adam sat at the table with her and Matt and they celebrated.

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"Roger, can we talk?" Ashley asked as Roger came out of Matt's room.

"What's the matter Baby?" he asked sitting on the couch next to her.

"I've been thinking about something." she started as she took his hands.

"Ash, what's the matter?" he asked sitting back.

"The way you looked at me earlier when you thought I was pregnant." she started as tears came to her eyes.

"I know. I'm sorry. That was selfish of me. I shouldn't have..." he said before she cut him off.

"I wanna get pregnant, Roger." she said smiling up at him.

"But Ash, I thought you wanted to adopt another baby." he said confused as tears rolled down Ashley's face.

"I did, but Roger I was thinking, maybe I wanna be pregnant." she said wiping her face.

"Maybe or you do?" he asked caressing her face.

"I do." she told him smiling at him.

"But Ash, what about my HIV? What about Matt?" he asked smiling at her.

"There's a way that your HIV wouldn't be an issue and Matt would love it. I don't want him to be an only child. I don't want him to grow up all by himself." she told him as tears streamed down her face.

"Ash, I don't know." he started as he sat back on the couch.

"Roger, I'm only 32 and we want another baby, and I really wanna be pregnant. I really wanna have our baby." she said turning to look at him.

"But Ash..." Roger started before Ashley cut him off.

"Roger, Matt is our child. There is no way he's gonna feel like we'll love this baby more than him." she said as he sat up.

"I know, I was just gonna ask how?" he asked reaching up for her.

"Oh. I thought you were afraid of the whole adopted kid vs. the biological kid thing." she said looking down.

"Of course not. Matt's our son, Ash. There is no way we could love any kid more than him, whether you give birth or we adopt again." he said holding her tight.

"I know." she said smiling up at him.

"So, you really wanna?" he asked looking down at her.

"Do you?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, I do. Let's have another baby." he told her kissing her head.

"I guess we're gonna try to have a baby." she said leaning up to kiss him.


	30. Chapter 30

"Is it time yet?" Roger asked as Ashley sat in Matt's room helping him clean up.

"Roger, I wish you would just relax. The timer will go off when it's time." she said smiling up at him.

"I'm sorry Baby. I'm just anxious." he said standing in the doorway.

"I know Honey, but you need to calm down. It doesn't always work the first time." she told him getting up to put an arm full of toys in the toybox.

"I know, I'm sorry." he said as she walked over to him.

"Honey, everything's gonna be fine. If it doesn't work this time, we can try again." she said putting her arms around his waist as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"I know Baby. I know." he said kissing her head.

"Now help me clean this up. You helped him make the mess." she said leaning up to kiss him.

"You know, he' s 7 now. He can do this himself." he said smiling down at her.

"I know. I just want him to enjoy being a kid." she said holding him tight as the timer went off.

"Are you ready, Baby?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I'm ready." she said looking up at him nervously.

"Hey, I love you Ash." he said leaning down to kiss her.

"I love you too Roger." she told him as they went to the bathroom to check the test stick.

"What does it say?" he asked looking over her shoulder.

"It worked." she told him staring down at the test stick.

"It did?" he asked excitedly as she turned around to look at him. She had tears in her eyes. "Oh Baby, it worked." he said picking her up.

"It worked." she repeated as she cried into his neck.

"Are you OK Baby?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I just can't believe I'm pregnant." she told him wiping her eyes.

"I know Ash. Matt's gonna be a big brother." he said kissing her head.

"Matt, we have to tell Matt." she said looking up him.

"He's gonna be so excited." he told her happily as he put her down.

"I have to make an appointment for the doctor, and we have to tell everyone. There's so much to do." she said holding his biceps.

"Ash, calm down. We'll do all that. Let's just enjoy this. You and me." he whispered holding her face in his hands.

"I know, I'm sorry Honey. I'm over thinking it." she said smiling up at him.

"We're pregnant Ash." he said smiling as tears came to his eyes.

"Roger, we're pregnant." she repeated as he held her tight in his arms.

"I love you Ash." he said kissing her head.

"I love you too Roger." she said holding him tighter.

"Hey my little baby. Hey." he said kneeling down in front of Ashley's belly.

"Roger, the baby can't hear you yet." she said laughing as she caressed his head.

"I don't care." he said smiling up at her as he caressed her flat belly.

"You are such a great daddy." she said smiling down at him before kneeling in front of him.

"I just love my family, Ash." he told her taking her in his arms.

"I know Honey, I know." she said leaning up to kiss him as her watch alarm went off.

"Time to get Matt." Roger said kissing her head.

"Don't you tell him." she said smiling at him as they got up off of the bathroom floor.

"I won't. I promise." he told her smiling as he leaned down to kiss her. "I love you Ash." he said before opening the apartment door.

"I love you too Roger." she said smiling as he left to pick Matt up from school. As she stood in the apartment alone, she thought about being pregnant. She and Roger had decided 6 months earlier to try to get pregnant. They went to the doctor and found out it wasn't that easy. They had to regulate her periods and put her on fertility drugs before they could do the artificial semination. That was 3 weeks ago. Ashley heard the downstairs door open indicating that Roger and Matt were back.

"Mommy, we're home." he called out as she stood in the kitchen putting his after school snack out.

"Hi babyboy. How was school?" Ashley said as she leaned down to kiss Matt's head.

"Good. My teacher said I got the highest grade in the class on my science test." he said smiling up at her.

"I am so proud of you honey." she said kissing him before he sat at the table.

"Hey Matty, mommy and I have something we need to tell you." Roger said putting his arm around Ashley's waist.

"What's up dad?" he asked looking up as Ashley sat next to him.

"Well Matt, you know mommy and daddy love you, right?" she asked smiling at him.

"Yeah, and?" he asked eating his cookies.

"Well mommy and daddy found out today that you're gonna be a big brother." she told him reaching out for his hand.

"You and dad are having a baby?" he asked smiling at them as Roger knelt down next to Ashley.

"How do you feel about that, son?" he asked looking up at him.

"That is so cool. I'm gonna have a little brother." he told them excitedly.

"Or sister." Roger told him smiling up at him.

"This is really cool." he said leaning over to hug them.

"I love you Matty." Roger said kissing his head.

"I love you guys too.' he told them smiling at them.


	31. Chapter 31

Where the hell is Adam and Ashley?" Roger asked rushing around the house as Michelle took deep breaths.

"Roger, would you sit down please. My contractions are 7 minutes apart. We have time." she yelled as he looked down at her like a deer caught in headlights.

"But they should have been back by now." he said frantically as she started laughing at him.

"Roger, you're gonna be going through this in 6 months. What are you gonna do when Ash goes into labor?" she asked laughing.

"I'm probably gonna be a mess." he told her sitting next to him.

"No you're not. Everything is gonna be fine. I promise. Think of this as a practice run. Just call my doctor and tell him my contractions are regular and they're 7 minutes apart." she said talking him through it.

"Sorry, here I am the big brother. I'm supposed to be calming you down." he said smiling over at her.

"It's OK. You're the one who has to deal with your sister in labor." she said laughing.

"I love you Chelle." he said smiling at her.

"I love you too big brother. Now go call the doctor. Adam and Ashley should be back with Matty in a little while. You know how Matty could be when it comes to picking out sneakers." she said laughing.

"I know. I'll be right back." he said calmly as he went to the phone.

"Hey big brother." she called out.

"Yeah Chelle." he said looking down at her.

"Thanks." she said caressing her 9 months pregnant belly.

"Hey, did we miss anything." Ashley asked as she, Adam and Matt entered the house.

"Michelle is in labor." Roger told them holding the phone.

"Now?" Adam asked rushing over to her.

"I'm fine Baby. My contractions are 7 minutes apart. We have time." she told him smiling at him.

"Did anyone call the doctor? Where's your bag? We should go." he said frantically.

"Oh cool, Uncle Adam's head is gonna explode." Matt said laughing.

"Roger Matthew Davis Jr." Ashley said smiling at them.

"What? He's freaking out." he said smiling up at her.

"OK, the doctor said since your water didn't you should wait until they're 4 minutes apart and then call him back." Roger said smiling at them.

"You're calm?" Ashley said looking up at him surprised.

"Yeah well, we're gonna be going through this in 6 months." he said putting his arm around her smiling at Michelle.

"Yeah, you were a mess earlier, weren't you?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah I was." he laughed as he leaned over to kiss her on the head.

"So now we wait." she said smiling at him as she went to Michelle to take her pulse.

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"OK sweetie, let's go." Ashley said helping her up as Roger brought her bag and Matt to Adam's car.

"It really hurts Ash." Michelle said breathing heavily.

"I know sweetie, just remember your breathing." she told her rubbing her back.

"I'm so glad you guys are here. I didn't want you to miss the birth of my baby." she said smiling down at her.

"We're glad we're here too honey." she said smiling at her helping her into the car.

"I'll drive." Roger said getting into the drivers seat.

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"She's beautiful, Michelle." Ashley said smiling down at her goddaughter.

"Thanks Ash." she said smiling at her as Roger stood over them.

"I can't believe my baby sister has a baby girl." Roger said smiling down at the baby.

"In 6 months you'll have one of those." Adam said sitting in the chair next to Michelle's bed.

"Yeah, I hope we have a little girl." Roger said kissing Ashley's head.

"But dad, I want a little brother." Matt whined sitting on Adam's lap.

"What do you need a little brother for? You have your dad." Ashley said laughing as she looked up at Roger.

"Very funny Ash." Roger said kissing Ashley's head. "I'm serious. I hope we have a girl." he said reaching down to caress her slightly swollen belly.

"Well as long as our baby is healthy I don't care what we have. Whatever we have, we are gonna love this baby just as much as we love Matt." Ashley said smiling up at him.

"Yes we are." Roger said kissing Ashley's head again.

"So what's her name Aunt Michelle?" Matt asked smiling at her.

"Me and Uncle Adam decided to name her Bianca Ashley." she told him smiling at Ashley.

"That is so sweet, you guys. Thank you." she said as tears came to her eyes.


	32. Chapter 32

"Ash, are you OK?" Roger asked knocking on the bathroom door.

"Yeah, your child is torturing me." she told him kneeling next to the toilet.

"Baby, you're 8 and a half months pregnant. Shouldn't the morning sickness have gone away by now?" he asked leaning against the doorway.

"You would think." she said running the water to wash her mouth out before opening the door.

"I'm worried about you Baby." he said caressing her face.

"Roger, it's normal. Really. Don't worry about it. Is Matt ready for school?" she asked smiling up at him.

"Yeah, I was just waiting for you." he said standing up straight.

"Well I'm ready. Come on Matt. We gotta go." she called out as he sat on his bed putting his books in his bookbag.

"I'm coming mom." he said zipping his bag.

"We have to be at the doctor soon." she said as he came running out of his room.

"I know. I'm ready. I don't want you to be late." the 8 year old said putting his coat on.

"Don't worry buddy. Mom's just nervous. We have time before we have to be there." Roger said smiling at Matt.

"Roger, you know how long it takes him to get ready." Ashley said putting her coat on.

"I don't take as long as dad does." he told her as she burst out laughing.

"Hey, I don't take that long." Roger said in his own defense.

"He's right. But you should have seen how long it took him to get ready before he cut his hair. He was worse than me." she told him laughing as Roger looked down at her.

"This pregnancy is making you a real comedian." he said leaning against the doorway.

"What was mom like when she was pregnant with me?" Matt asked looking up at them.

"We'll tell you later. We gotta go now buddy." Roger told him looking down at Ashley. They had been dreading this conversation. Matt hadn't asked about the circumstances surrounding his birth and they hadn't told him he was adopted yet because he was still too young. He just assumed he contracted his HIV from Roger and they didn't tell him any different. As they walked to school Roger held Ashley's hand and Matt walked in front of them as he normally did.

"Have a nice day at school baby boy, OK? Remember Aunt Jessie's gonna pick you up today and take you shopping for your birthday present. Be good and don't give her a hard time. I love you." Ashley said leaning down to kiss his head.

"OK mom. I love you too. Good luck at the doctor." he said hugging her before hugging and kissing Roger goodbye.

"Bye buddy. Have a good day. I love you." he said smiling down at him.

"I love you too dad." he said running into the school yard as Roger and Ashley looked at each other.

"What are we gonna tell him?" Ashley asked looking up at Roger worried.

"Baby, calm down. We'll figure it out." he said kissing her head before they went to the doctor.

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"OK Ashley, you're 4 cm dialated, so you could go at any time." the doctor told her smiling at them.

"Did you hear that Baby? It won't be long now." Roger said kissing her forehead.

"I can't wait. I just want my body back." she laughed as she sat up with Roger's help.

"It's normal to be anxious Ashley, but it won't be long now." he said smiling at her.

"Ugh, I can't wait. I haven't seen my feet in months, my son can't reach his arms around me and I feel like a whale." she complained rubbing her belly.

"It's OK Baby. Any day now." he told her kidding her head.

"I'll make you another appointment in 3 days. We'll schedule you after you drop Matt off at school." he said smiling at them.

"Thank you doctor." Roger said as he helped Ashley off the examining table.

"Thank you." Ashley said struggling to get off of the table before they left the doctor's office.

"OK Baby, when we get home you are on bedrest and I'm picking Matt up from Jess and Noah's tonight." Roger told her with his arm around her back.

"Roger, I'm not in labor yet. I am capable of picking Matt up. You have to go to work." she said smiling up at him.

"Ashley don't argue with me. I'm taking the day off to take care of you. I don't want you home alone today." he told her opening the door to the building.

"OK, so when you go to work, I'll go over my mothers. I'll be fine." she said leaning up to kiss him.

"Ash, I'm taking the day off today and that's it." he said caressing her face.

"I don't know why I bother arguing with you. I never win." she told him smiling up at him.

"10 years and you're just figuring this out?" he asked laughing as he helped her up the stairs.

"Yeah I know. What was I thinking?" she said as he opened the door to the apartment.

"You go lay down. I'm gonna call Tommy. I'll bring some water in to you in a minute." he said kissing her head.

"Yes Honey." she said going into the bedroom to lay down. She had been very tired lately. The extra weight had been very uncomfortable for her. Roger had been walking Matt to school and Jessica or Mrs. McCoy picked Matt home from school.

"I got the rest of the week off, so I'm all yours." he said bringing in a glass of water.

"Oh joy." she laughed as she looked up at him.

"I just don't want you to be alone. What's wrong with that?" he asked kissing her head.

"Nothing, you just get so over protective sometimes." she told him reaching up to caress his face.

"Not over protective. Concerned." he said smiling down at her.

"Yeah, concerned." she laughed as she sipped her water. "Roger, what are we gonna tell Matt?" she asked putting the glass on the nightstand.

"I don't know Baby. I'm not comfortable telling him that he's adopted just yet. He's only 8. He's our son and we're his parents. It's never been any other way." Roger said looking at her.

"I know Roger but I don't want to wait until he asks again. I don't want him to feel like we're keeping this from him like it was wrong. I want him to know that we picked him and we love him because we want to and we're his parents." she said as he sat back against the headboard.

"Ash, I just love him so much. The minute we tell him he's adopted we can't take it back." he said burying his face in his hands.

"Roger, we love him and he knows that. That's not gonna change who he is." Ashley told him touching his arm.

"But Ash, I'm not ready." he said looking up at her. He had tears in his eyes.

"I know, but Roger, Matt is." she said caressing his face.

"OK, then I want to tell him." he told her as tears fell from his eyes.

"I think we should both tell him together." she said beginning to cry as well.

"OK, we'll tell him together." he said leaning in to kiss her before laying down in the bed.


	33. Chapter 33

"Hey Matt, can you come in here for a minute please?" Roger called out from his and Ashley's bedroom.

"Sure dad, what's up?" he asked running into the bedroom sitting on the bed.

"Your mom and I want to tell you something and it's really important, so we want you to listen, OK?" Roger started sitting closer to Matt.

"What's the matter dad? Is mom OK?" he asked looking at Ashley concerned.

"I'm fine baby boy. Really." she said trying to sit up. "Come here sweetie." she said holding her arms out to him.

"What's up mom?" he asked looking up at her as Roger turned around to face them.

"Matt, this isn't easy for me and daddy to tell you, so just listen and if you have anything to ask us, you can when we're done, OK?" she started caressing his cheek.

"OK mom." he said worried as Roger reached out for his hand.

"When your mom and I got married, we started talking about having kids. We loved each other so much that we really wanted to have kids so we could share our love with them. Well, when we started talking about it, your mom came up with a great idea. She wanted to adopt a baby with HIV whose real mom couldn't take care of them. We filled out all the papers and went through all the interviews and stuff and we met the most amazing little baby." Roger started smiling at Matt with tears in his eyes.

"Me?" Matt asked looking up at Ashley.

"Yeah baby boy. You. From the second we saw you we fell in love with you. Daddy and I wanted to give you all the love you deserved. And the day we brought you home was the happiest day of our lives." she told him as he leaned his head against Ashley's chest as she played with his hair.

"Do you have any questions for me or your mom?" Roger asked moving closer to Matt.

"You guys picked me to love?" he asked looking up at him.

"Yes Matt, we did. We wanted to be your parents so badly." Roger said wiping his eyes.

"So even though I didn't come out of mommy's belly like this baby is, you love me and you're my parents?" he asked looking up at Ashley.

"With all of our hearts and souls." Ashley told him smiling down at him.

"I love you guys too. You are the best parents in the whole world." he said looking at Roger.

"You're the best kid in the world buddy." he said pulling Matt to him and hugging him tight. "We love you so much Matt. This baby is not gonna change that. Nothing could." he continued caressing his sons hair.

"I know dad. I'm glad you wanted me to be your kid." he said as Ashley began to cry.

"Oh buddy, it looks like mommy's getting jealous." Roger said wiping his eyes smiling at Ashley.

"You're the best mom. I love you." Matt said wrapping his arms around her neck.

"You're not too bad yourself kiddo. I love you so much." she said holding Matt in her arms.

"Are you OK buddy?" Roger asked smiling at Matt.

"I'm great dad. Really." he said smiling at them.

"How about you and your dad go out for some ice cream? Bring me back some Chocolate with chocolate sprinkles." Ashley said wiping her eyes smiling up at Roger.

"Cool. Can we dad?" Matt asked excitedly.

"Ash, I don't want to leave you." Roger said looking over to her.

"Roger, I'm fine. The baby's moving around a lot. Nothing's happening tonight." she told him smiling up at him.

"Are you sure?" he asked reaching over to caress her cheek.

"Roger, I'm a nurse. I'm pretty positive. Go. Just bring some back for me." she said smiling at him.

"Go get your shoes on buddy. Looks like mommy wants ice cream tonight." Roger said smiling as Matt hopped off the bed.

"Thanks dad. You're the best." he said running into his room.

"We got some kid in there, huh?" she said smiling at him.

"Well duh? We've known that for 8 years." Roger said leaning in to kiss her.

"I think we did pretty damn good, don't you?" she asked smiling at him.

"Yeah Baby, we did great." he told her before turning around to put his boots on.

"So dad, can I have a banana split with 3 kinds of ice cream?" Matt asked standing in the doorway putting his jacket on.

"How about we get father son banana splits." he asked fixing the bottoms of his pants before getting off of the bed.

"Awesome. Thanks dad." he said excitedly as he ran over to Ashley.

"We'll be right back mom. I love you." he said leaning in to kiss Ashley on the cheek.

"I love you too baby boy." she said hugging her son.

"We'll be right back Baby, OK? Why don't you lay down and rest? I love you." Roger said leaning down to kiss her.

"I love you Roger." she said quietly reaching up for him.

"Everything is fine, Baby." he whispered as he held her close to him.

"I know." she said smiling at him. As he left the apartment with Matt, she reached over for the phone to call her mother when she felt a huge amount of pressure and then wetness under her. Her water broke. She tried calling out for Roger, but they had already left the building. "OK Ash, you're a nurse. What the hell do you do?" she asked herself out loud. "Mom. I'll call mom." she said reaching for the phone and dialing the number. "Mom, it's me. Oh man." she said starting to feel a contraction.

"Ashley honey, are you OK?" she asked hearing the stress in her daughters voice.

"My water broke and I'm in labor and Roger took Matt out for ice cream." she said taking deep breaths.

"Do you want me to send daddy out to get him?" she asked hitting her husbands arm.

"Can you? Thank you so much mom." she said caressing her belly.

"Roger took Matt out for ice cream and Ashley is in labor." she told him as he got up.

"I'll get them." Mr. McCoy said jumping up and rushing out of the house.

"Calm down sweetie. You'll be OK. Just breathe." Mrs. McCoy told her calmly.

"I know mom. I'm a nurse. I've helped women through this a million times." she told her breathing. "I'm sorry mom. I didn't mean to snap at you." she said calming down.

"That's OK sweetie. I bit grandma McCoy's head off when I was in labor with you." she told her laughing.

"Really?" she asked laughing a little.

"Yeah, It was quite therapeutic." she laughed holding the phone.

"Oh mom, I wanted to tell you. We told Matt." she told her trying to relax.

"Told Matt what, honey?" Mrs. McCoy asked confused.

"That he was adopted, mom." Ashley told her beginning to breathe heavily again.

"Why did you choose now?" she asked curling the phone wire around her finger.

"He asked about how I was when I was pregnant with him and Roger and I didn't want to lie to him. He took it really well." Ashley told her trying to keep her mind off of her pain.

"Well he is an incredible kid Ash. You and Roger did an amazing job with him." she told her smiling.

"Thanks mom." she told her as Roger, Matt and her father came rushing in the door. "My entourage is here, mom. I gotta go." she said smiling as Roger rushed into the bedroom.

"Baby, I thought you said nothing was happening tonight." he said rushing in.

"Looks like I was wrong." she said smiling at him.

"OK, did you call the doctor?" he asked caressing her face.

"No, I just called my mom to have dad find you. Oh man. Roger, they're coming really fast." she said beginning to breathe heavily again.

"OK, I'm gonna call the doctor. Can you get changed out of your wet clothes?" he asked reaching for the phone.

"Yeah, I can do that. Where's Matt?" she asked swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

"He's in his room with your dad packing a bag to stay over there tonight." he told her dialing the phone.

"I wanna see him." she said looking at him.

"Matt, your mom wants you." Roger called out as Matt came running into the room

"Are you OK mom? Is the baby coming?" he asked rushing over to Ashley.

"Yeah baby boy. The baby's coming. You're gonna stay over with grandma and grandpa tonight, OK?" she said breathing with the pain.

"No, I wanna go with you." he said sitting on the bed.

"Baby boy, daddy's gonna go with me. But he'll call you as soon as the baby is born and he'll bring you up to see me tomorrow, OK?" she said hugging him.

"Mom, I wanna go with you now." he told her beginning to cry.

"Hey buddy, how about grandma and grandpa bring you up and you can be with me and mom until the baby is born?" Roger suggested smiling down at them.

"OK dad. I'm gonna go tell grandpa." he said running into the bedroom.

"Roger, I don't want him to see me like this. You know how sensative he is." she said as he helped her up.

"I know, but you know he won't be able to relax unless he knows you're OK. It'll be fine. He just needs to be with you right now." he told her kissing her head as he helped her get changed.

"I hope you're right." she said looking up at him.

"Don't worry. I am." he said smiling at her.

"OK." she said getting dressed before they left to go to the hospital.


	34. Chapter 34

"Roger, I can't do this." Ashley cried exhausted as Roger held her hand.

"Yes you can Baby. Come on, you're so close." he said caressing her sweaty head.

"Roger, I'm so tired." Ashley said laying down on the bed.

"I know Baby, but you're almost there. I promise, we'll have our baby soon. Just one more really big push Ash. You are the strongest woman I know. You can do it." he told her encouragingly as he kissed her sweaty face.

"OK, one more. I'm ready." she said smiling up at him as she sat up to give another push.

"You're doing great Baby. Just great." he told her holding her up.

"Oh my God Roger." she yelled giving one big push.

"Here comes the head Ashley. You're going great, I just need one more push to get the shoulders out." the doctor said as Roger held her up kissing her head.

"You hear that Baby? One more. Come on. You can do it Baby. I love you." he told her kissing her head again.

"Come on Ashley." the doctor said as Ashley pushed the baby out. "You can relax now Ashley. You have a healthy baby boy." the doctor said cutting the baby's cord and handing him to the nurse to get cleaned up.

"A boy? Oh my God Ash, we have another boy." Roger said helping Ashley lay back on the bed.

"Another boy. Matt's gonna be thrilled." she told him smiling.

"How is he?" Roger asked with tears in his eyes.

"He's perfect Roger. 10 finger and 10 toes." the doctor said as the baby cried.

"He's got your lungs." Ashley said laughing looking up at Roger.

"My boy." he said laughing with her as he leaned down to kiss her.

"I love you Roger." she said caressing his face.

"I love you too Ash." he said smiling up as the nurse brought the baby to them.

"Would you like to meet your son?" she asked smiling at them.

"Yes, we would." Roger told her as another nurse propped up the bed.

"Hi my little Brandon." Ashley said smiling down at the baby with tears in her eyes.

"I take it we're taking Matt's advice?" Roger said caressing his newborn sons face.

"Brandon Thomas Davis. It does have a nice ring to it." she said smiling up at him.

"Can you get him? I need to see him." she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, I'll get him." he said kissing her head before kissing the baby's head and leaving the room.

"Hey Matt, you're a big brother, man." Roger said rushing out to his son.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" he asked excitedly jumping into Roger's arms.

"You have a baby brother." Roger said crying as he held his son.

"I wanna see mom." he told him looking at him.

"She wants to see you too buddy." he said kissing his son's cheek before putting Matt down.

"Are they OK?" Mrs. McCoy asked crying as she held her husband.

"Yeah, they're perfect." Roger said wiping his eyes.

"Come on dad. I wanna see mom." Matt said grabbing Roger's hand.

"I gotta bring Matt in. She wants to see him." he told them smiling as he led Matt into the delivery room.

"Mom." he called out rushing over to the bed.

"Hi baby boy. Come meet your brother." she whispered smiling at him.

"What's his name?" he asked looking over her shoulder.

"Brandon Thomas Davis." she answered smiling over at him.

"That's what I wanted to name him." he told her quietly.

"Yeah. He looks like a Brandon." she said leaning over to kiss his cheek.

"I love you mom." he told her smiling at the baby.

"I love you too baby boy." she said as Roger smiled at his family from across the room.


	35. Chapter 35

"Wow Ash, a boy. Leave it to Matt to be right." Michelle said smiling as she looked at Adam holding Brandon as Matt stood over them.

"Yeah, my son. In a way I'm glad he's a boy. The way Roger spoils Bianca, we'd be broke and then we'd never be able to buy a house." Ashley said laughing as Roger looked at her.

"What? I can't spoil my only neice?" he asked smiling at her.

"Roger, you take spoiling to a whole new level." Michelle told him laughing.

"You guys are buying a house?" Adam asked looking up at them.

"Yeah, it'll be a while until we have one, but we have time with Brandon still little." Ashley said smiling at them.

"I wish we had a house. All of Bianca's stuff is crowding us out of the apartment." Michelle told them laughing.

"Where is my baby neice anyway?" he asked smiling over at them.

"Adam's parents wanted to spend some time with them. Boy were they glad you and Ash had Brandon. Now mom and dad can divide their time between the babies rather than kidnapping Bianca all the time." Michelle told him smiling up at him.

"Why do you think we're buying a house? Between you guys, mom and dad, Ash's parents, Collins, Mo and Jo, Mark and Kel and Jess and Noah, we're gonna need the room." Roger told her sitting on the bed with Ashley.

"You got that right. Between Matt and Brandon, you'll never get rid of them." Adam said smiling over at them.

"Can Uncle Collins move in with us dad?" Matt asked walking over to the bed.

"Uncle Collins has a life in the city buddy. He's not gonna want to live in suburbia with us." Roger told him messing up his hair.

"Yeah baby boy, Uncle Collins will never leave bohemia." Ashley told him smiling up at Roger.

"Dad did." he said fixing his hair.

"That's because I wanted to be with your mom and she wasn't there." Roger said leaning over to kiss her.

"You guys have 2 kids. Give it a rest." Adam teased as Michelle went over to take the baby from him.

"Oh Baby, you said the same thing when they brought Matty home." she said smiling over at them.

"You guys were always like this?" Matt asked sitting on Ashley's bed.

"Yeah, I told you daddy and I used to sing together." Ashley said leaning into Roger's chest.

"How come you don't anymore?" Matt asked looking up at them.

"I told you already Matt. It's because I wanted to be home with you. Being with you is better then performing on stage." she told him reaching up to touch his face.

"But mom, dad said you were really awesome. And Uncle Mark showed me films from your shows. You guys rocked." he said as Michelle smiled at her.

"I told you Ash. You belong on stage just as much as Roger does." she said as the baby started to fuss.

"I'll get him." Ashley said reaching out for the baby as Michelle handed him to her.

"You really should sing with dad again." Matt said smiling at his parents.

"Nah, my place is with my beautiful boys." she said smiling down at the baby who had settled down.

"You love your life, don't you Ash. Roger and the boys?" Michelle asked smiling at them all sitting on the bed.

"I wouldn't trade it for the world." she said as Roger kissed her head looking at his sons.

"Neither would I." Roger said smiling at her.

"You're not quitting the Knights, Roger." Ashley told him looking up.

"Dad, you know mom always says no. Why do you even try anymore?" Matt asked laughing.

"Can't blame a guys for trying." Roger said laughing as Collins, Mark and Kelly entered the room.

"Where's that little godson of mine?" Collins asked quietly as he smiled at the family.

"Hi Collins. We'd like you to meet Brandon Thomas Davis." Ashley said handing him the baby.

"You guys are such a beautiful family." Mark said smiling at the family.

"He is incredible Babygirl." he said smiling down at him.

"Hey, I helped." Roger said laughing.

"Yeah, very little." Collins said laughing as the baby stretched in his arms.

"Gee thanks." Roger said smiling up at him.

"He is amazing you guys." Kelly said smiling at them.

"Thanks." Ashley said looking up at Roger.

"So Matty, how do you like being a big brother?" Mark asked smiling down at his nephew.

"It's awesome. I can't wait to show him how to play guitar like dad shows me." he said smiling up at Roger.

"Don't worry buddy, you'll get to." he said reaching over to hug him.

"I know. I have a good teacher." Matt said hugging Roger back.


	36. Chapter 36

"Roger, can you take Brandon so I can go in the shower please?" Ashley asked coming into the living room.

"Sure Baby, come here buddy." he said holding is arms out for the baby.

"Mom, can we get new sneakers today?" Matt asked coming out of his room.

"Sure sweetie, but can you wait a little bit? I was just gonna go in the shower." she said looking down at him.

"Baby, I can take him." Roger said looking up from the baby.

"But Honey, you said you'd watch Brandon for me." she said looking down at him.

"I am capable of doing both, you know. I'll just put Brandon in his carriage and we'll take a walk. Would you like that buddy?" he asked as the baby looked up at him. "See, he'll love it. And I'll get to spend some time with my boys." he said smiling up at her.

"Are you sure?" she asked leaning in the doorway.

"Yeah, I'll take the boys out so you can have some mommy time." he said as Matt sat next to him on the couch.

"Yeah mom. You need some time by yourself. It'll be cool." Matt said smiling down at Brandon.

"Roger, just don't get him combat boots, OK?" Ashley said smiling at her boys.

"Cool, we can go." Matt said excitedly looking up at Roger.

"Go get ready dude, I gotta change your brother and get him dressed." Roger said getting up.

"I won't get him combat boots. I promise." Roger said kissing Ashley on the head as Matt ran into his room.

"Just bundle him up, OK? It's getting chilly and he hasn't gotten his flu shot yet." Ashley said looking up at him.

"I know Baby. I've taken the boys out by myself before." he told her smiling down at her.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm being over protective again, aren't I?" she asked looking up at him and the baby.

"That's OK. It's been a while since we've had a baby in the house." he told her laughing.

"Yeah it has. It's gonna take a little getting used to." she said smiling at him.

"I know Baby, but you still need some time for yourself. Go take a shower and why don't you go to your moms or something. You can go shopping." he said smiling down at her.

"Yeah, I know. We have a busy day tomorrow looking at houses and stuff." she said caressing the baby's head.

"Yeah, he's starting to grow out of his bassinette and I'm gonna have to set up Matt's old crib soon." Roger said kissing her head.

"I know Honey. Go get the baby ready to go. I'm sure Matt can't wait to get out of the house." she said leaning up to kiss him.

"OK Baby." he said kissing her back before going into their room to dress the baby.

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"Hey mom." Ashley said walking in the house alone.

"Where are the boys?" Mrs. McCoy asked smiling at her.

"Roger took them out. Matt needed new sneakers and he wanted to take Brandon with him." she said sitting at the kitchen table.

"That's nice. So you have the day to yourself?" she said smiling at her.

"Yeah, Roger wants me to go shopping or something." she said laughing.

"So let's go. You guys are gonna need new furniture when you move into the house." she said smiling at her.

"Mom, we haven't found one yet. We want the right one in the right location. We're looking at a few in the neighborhood tomorrow, so can you watch the boys?" she asked smiling up at her.

"Of course sweetie. Where are you looking?" Mrs. McCoy asked sitting next to her.

"I don't know yet. We'll find out tomorrow." she said as Roger came into the house with the boys.

"Hi mom." Matt said as Roger took Brandon out of the carriage in the yard.

"What are you boys doing here? I thought you were going for sneakers." Ashley asked looking at them.

"We got them already. Dad wanted to hang out with grandpa." Matt told her hugging her.

"Grandpa's in the basement sweetie." Mrs. McCoy told him kissing his head.

"Thanks grandma." he said running down to the basement.

"Baby, I thought you were going shopping?" Roger asked finally coming into the house.

"I just got here. I took an extra long shower." she said standing up to kiss him.

"Good. But I'm serious, go out. You need time to yourself. You haven't had much lately between me, Matt and Brandon." he told her as she reached out for Brandon.

"I like taking care of my boys." she said taking Brandon from him.

"Baby, you need to take care of you too you know." he told her as she took Brandon's scarf off.

"I know. I just hate being away from my boys." she said handing him the baby's outer clothes as she took them off.

"Ashley, he's right. You have to take care of yourself too." Mrs. McCoy told her agreeing with Roger.

"Mom, I'm fine. I don't like being away from Matt and Brandon. They're growing up so fast as it is." she told her kissing Brandon's head.

"I know honey, but you're gonna be no good to the boys if you don't take care of yourself first." Mrs. McCoy told her as Roger reached out for Brandon.

"Told you Baby. We're gonna go down and see grandpa. Come on buddy." he said taking Brandon into his arms. "I love you Baby, but get out of here for a while." he said leaning down to kiss her.

"Fine. I love you Brandon. Be good for daddy and Matt, OK?" she said rocking him back and forth.

"Baby, go. I love you." he said smiling at her.

"I love you too Roger." she said smiling at him as he went downstairs and Ashley and Mrs. McCoy left the house. "I'm one lucky girl, huh?" she asked looking at her mother.

"You sure are sweetie. I knew from the first day you brought him here to meet us that you were one lucky girl. The way that man loves you is the way a woman should be loved." she said hugging her.

"Yes he does. Those boys are the best things to have ever happened to me mom." she said as tears came to her eyes.

"And you three are the best thing that's ever happened to him too." Mrs. McCoy told her as they started walking.

"Yeah, he is a great husband and father, isn't he?" Ashley asked looking over at her mother.

"He lives and breathes for you." she told her smiling.

"He does, doesn't he?" she said smiling at her.


	37. Chapter 37

"Brandon, come on. We have to leave for school now." Ashley yelled up the stairs.

"I'm coming mommy." he answered running out of his room.

"Come on Matt, your dad's leaving soon." she said going back into the kitchen as the 13 year old finished his breakfast.

"I'm done. Do you know where my sheet music is?" he asked putting his bowl in the sink.

"I think it's in the living room. Or look down in the basement. I think your dad was looking at it last night." she sid drinking her coffee.

"Seriously?" he asked looking at her.

"Yeah, he really liked it." she told him smiling.

"Awesome." he said running downstairs.

"Baby, where's Matt? We gotta go." Roger asked rushing into the kitchen.

"He's downstairs looking for his sheet music. Is Brandon ready?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, he's coming. He had to gather up his dinosaurs." he said smiling down at her.

"Just another morning at the Davis house, huh?" she asked laughing.

"Yeah, chaos. Come on Matt, we gotta go." he called out before kissing Ashley.

"Coming dad." he said coming up from the basement.

"Mommy, can I go to Zack's house after school today?" Brandon asked coming into the kitchen.

"What does Zack's mom say?" Ashley asked smiling down at him.

"She said yeah." he told her smiling up at her.

"OK, I'll talk to her this morning." Ashley said smiling up at Roger.

"Mom, can Giles come over? We want to jam. We'll stay downstairs." Matt asked smiling up at them.

"Yes of course Giles can come over." she said as Roger put his arm around her.

"Thanks mom." Matt said rushing into the living room for his bookbag.

"I gotta go Baby. I'll see you later." Roger said smiling down at her before kissing her goodbye.

"Bye Honey. I love you." she said smiling up at him.

"I love you too Baby." he replied smiling at her.

"Bye daddy." Brandon said reaching up for him.

"Bye buddy. I love you. Be good in school and learn lots of stuff, OK?" he said kneeling down in front of him.

"I will daddy. I love you too." he said hugging him.

"Be good at Zack's house, OK?" he told him smiling at him.

"I'm always good daddy." he said smiling at him.

"I know buddy." Roger said kissing his head. "Come on Matt, let's jam." he said smiling at Ashley.

"I'm ready dad. Bye mom. Thanks." Matt said hugging Ashley good bye.

"Bye sweetie. I love you." she said smiling at Matt, who was nearly her height.

"I love you too mom." he said before hugging Brandon goodbye.

"Bye dude. Be good." he said smiling down at the 5 year old.

"You too Matty." he said laughing.

"I'm always good. Right dad." Matt told him laughing.

"Yeah, you are buddy. Now let's go before you make us both late." Roger said smiling at Ashley and Brandon before he left to bring Matt to middle school.

"Alone at last my little sweetie." Ashley said smiling down at Brandon.

"I love you mommy." he said looking up at her.

"Oh I love you so much Brandon." she said kneeling down to hug him.

"Mommy, how come daddy and Matt have to take medicine and I don't?" he asked looking at Ashley.

"Because daddy and Matty have something you don't." she said leaning back to look at him.

"How come? I wanna take medicine like daddy and Matty." he told her looking down.

"Brandon, it's a good thing you don't have to take medicine like daddy and Matty. When you're bigger, you'll understand." she told him kissing his head before getting up. "Now come on sweetie, we have to go." she said as tears formed in her eyes. It was 4 years since they found out that Brandon was negative and she was thankful that at least one of her boys didn't have to deal with HIV. Her and Roger bought their house and both boys were doing great in school. Ashley started working in a pediatricians office in the neighborhood and quit the hospital. With 2 boys and Roger, it was getting to be too much for her to be away from them. Roger got another promotion at the restaurant as assistant manager and he enjoyed his job. He performed at the club still and at the restaurant and occasionally Ashley joined him at the club with the band. Matt had convinced her that life was too short not to do what you love. He was his fathers son. He played guitar with his friend Giles and Roger had set up a studio in the basement so Matt could record the songs he wrote. Roger was starting to teach Brandon how to play guitar also and he loved it.

"Bye mommy." Brandon said smiling up at her.

"Bye sweetie, I love you." she said hugging him.

"I love you too mommy." he said rushing into the schoolyard to his friend Zack.

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"Dad, can you record my song?" Matt asked as they ate dinner.

"You know how to do it. You don't need me to do it." Roger said drinking his water.

"No, I mean, can you record it? You have a better voice than me." he said putting his fork down.

"Matt, are you sure you don't want to sing it? You wrote it." Roger asked as Ashley smiled at him cutting Brandons meat.

"I actually wrote it for you and mom. If you like it." he said as Roger smiled at Ashley.

"I love it Matt. You've got a lot of talent with songwriting." Roger said smiling at Matt.

"That is so sweet Matt." Ashley said smiling at him.

"Mommy, I'm gonna write a song for you too." Brandon said looking up at her.

"You don't have to write a song for me sweetie. All you have to do is be yourself. Matt just likes to write songs like daddy does." she said leaning over to kiss his head.

"Yeah Brandon. When you get bigger like me, you can write songs like me and dad." Matt said smiling at him.

"Or not. You don't have to write songs. You just do what you like to do and me and mommy will love it. You might be a writer like mommy is." Roger said smiling at Brandon.

"I know daddy." he said smiling at him.

"Now eat your dinner. I feel like taking my boys out for ice cream." Roger said smiling at them.

"Yay, you're the best daddy." Brandon said as Ashley laughed.

"Is mommy invited?" she asked smiling at Roger.

"Of course, but I thought I'd take the boys out so you can have some peace and quiet." he told her smiling at her.

"Who needs peace and quiet? I like being with my boys." she said smiling at them as they ate their dinner.


	38. Chapter 38

"Roger, Matt has a fever." Ashley said rushing into the bedroom where Roger was getting dressed.

"What do you mean fever? How high?" he asked looking up at her.

"102.4" she answered going to her dresser to get dressed.

"You're taking him to Dr. O'Connell, right?" Roger asked looking up at her.

"Yeah, can you take Brandon to school? I'm just gonna take him in. I'm not even gonna call him." she said getting dressed.

"Do you want me to take off?" he asked approaching her.

"No, it's just a cold, I just want to get him looked at." she said sitting on the bed starting to cry.

"Ash Baby, he's gonna be fine. Kids get colds." he said sitting next to her putting his arms around her.

"But Roger, Matty's never been sick a day in his life and he's got HIV. You of all people know it could just as easily be something as it could be nothing." she cried into his shoulder.

"Mommy, is Matty OK?" Brandon asked standing in the doorway of the bedroom.

"Um, yeah Brandon. He's fine. He just has a little cold. Daddy's gonna take you to school today so I can take him to Dr. O'Connell, OK?" she told him wiping her eyes and going into hers and Roger's bathroom.

"Are you almost ready buddy?" Roger asked wiping his eyes before facing the 8 year old.

"Daddy, is Matty gonna be OK?" Brandon asked sitting on the bed.

"Yeah, Matty's gonna be OK. Mommy just needs to take him to the doctor." he said hugging Brandon. "Go get your stuff together and I'm just gonna check on Matty, OK?" he said kissing his head.

"OK daddy." he said looking up at him as he left the room and Roger went into Matt's room.

"Matt, how you doin man?" Roger asked standing in the doorway.

"I'm OK dad. My body just aches and mom said I have a fever." he said burying his face in the pillow to cough.

"Mom's gonna take you to Dr. O'Connell. He'll give you medicine and you'll feel better, OK?" he asked resisting the urge to go to his teenaged son.

"Dad, I'm gonna be OK. Mom said it's only a cold." he said wiping his nose with a tissue.

"I know buddy. But I'm your dad, I'm allowed to worry." he said as Ashley came in behind him.

"Roger, you need to take Brandon to school. I'll call you at work when we get out of the doctor, OK?" she said trying to get him out of the room.

"OK Baby. I love you Matt." he said looking over at him as Ashley helped him out of bed.

"I love you too dad." Matt said as Ashely took his clothes out and put them on the bed.

"Get dressed, OK? I'll be back in a minute." she said kissing his head before leaving the room and closing the door.

"Do you think it's serious?" Roger asked looking down at her.

"I don't think it's too serious, but Dr. O'Connell might want to put him in the hospital for antibiotics and observation, so have Jess pick Brandon up from school and take him to her house so you can come up to the hospital." she said holding back tears again.

"Ash Baby, do you want me to meet you at the doctors office after I drop little man at school?" he asked holding her in his arms.

"Yeah, I think you should. You go call Tommy and I'll make sure the boys are ready." she said wiping her eyes again.

"He's gonna be OK Ash. He's really healthy and he has never missed a dose of his meds." he said kissing her head before she moved back.

"I know. I just worry. How did I let him get sick?" she said looking up at him.

"Baby, he's 16. This is not your fault. Kids just get sick. It's only a cold. You can't blame yourself." he said taking her into his arms again.

"Roger, you gotta get Brandon to school or he's gonna be late and he has that math test first thing." she said wiping her eyes again.

"OK, I'll see you at the doctors office. I love you Ash." he said leaning down to kiss her.

"I know, I love you too Roger." she said before knocking on Matt's door.

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"Ashley, Roger Matt has an upper respiratory infection, so we're gonna have to put him in the hospital for a couple of days for IV antibiotics. He'll be OK, don't worry about it. He's gonna be OK." Dr. O'Connell said looking up at them.

"Mom, I have to go to the hospital?" Matt asked looking at Ashley.

"It's OK sweetie. It's only gonna be for a couple days. Me and dad can alternate staying with you if you want." Ashley told him rubbing his back.

"What about Brandon?" he asked coughing into his hand.

"Brandon'll be fine sweetie. He can stay with Aunt Jess and Uncle Noah when me and dad aren't home. Don't worry about Brandon. I don't want you to be alone." she said kissing his head.

"But mom..." he started before Roger interrupted him.

"Matt, don't argue with us. We need to be there with you. Brandon will understand. Just as long as you get better, he'll be fine." Roger said hugging him.

"Thanks dad.." Brandon said as they left for the hospital.

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"Roger, why don't you go home? Brandon is gonna wonder what's going on. You really should be home with him." Ashley said rubbing her eyes as Matt slept in the bed.

"No, I can stay. Why don't you go home? I'm sure Brandon will feel better if he sees you." Roger said sitting up in his chair.

"No, Roger really. I need to stay with him. You go. You have to go to work tomorrow anyway." she said shifting in her chair to look at him.

"Ash Baby, you don't have to stay. I can stay with him. I want to. He's my son too." he told her quietly caressing her back.

"I know Roger. I'm sorry. I just need to be with him right now." she told him as tears welled up in her face.

"Ash, you don't need to do this alone. I'm here." Roger whispered leaning in to her.

"Roger, I know. It's just, I'm his mother and I need to be here with him." she said wiping the tears that had fallen from her eyes.

"Fine Ash. But you don't have to do this alone." he told her getting up.

"Roger, you don't understand. He's my little boy, OK. He's sick and I need to be here with him. I need you to be with Brandon. Please." she said looking up at him as she got up.

"Ash, he's my son too. Don't you think I need be here with him too?" he said quietly as she pushed him out of the room so Matt wouldn't hear them.

"Roger, I know he's your son too. I'm not saying he's not. I'm just scared and I need to be with him. I need to see him through this." she told him as he leaned against the wall.

"Fine, but I'll be by tomorrow morning after I drop Brandon off at school and you're going home to rest and I think you need to spend some time with him before you come back up here." Roger said looking around the wall at Matt.

"This is a sight neither one of us wanted to ever see." Ashley said beginning to break down.

"That's the last sight I ever wanted to see." Roger told her taking her into his arms as they cried.

"I'm sorry Roger. I really am. It's just, I'm his mother. It's my responsibility to make sure he's OK, you know?" she cried looking up at him.

"Ashley, we're both his parents and it's both of our responsibilities to make sure he's OK. But his is beyond our control. You have to stop trying to take on everything with the boys on your own. I'm here too, you know. Let me take on some of the worry too." Roger whispered leaning down towards her.

"Roger, I just want you to be able to enjoy the boys without worrying about them. It's my job to worry." Ashley told him blinking tears.

"No, it's both of our job to worry. You don't think I worry about Matt anyway, or how it's gonna be for you and Brandon when me and Matt are gone? Of course I do. I also worry about you taking on too much and not letting me do more for them. I'm their father Ash. I don't need you to baby me like I'm dying. I'm not. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. At least not yet." he whispered looking dwon at her.

"I know you're their father Roger and you're the most amazing father those boys could ever have. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm shutting you out. I'm not being fair to you. I'm just trying to make sure the boys have good memories of you. Good memories of each other and their childhood. I guess I'm just trying too hard. I just want the boys to have a perfect life." she said looking down.

"I understand what you're trying to do, but no one is gonna have a perfect life. I mean, we don't. Look at us. Me and Matt are positive and you're trying to be super mom and poor Brandon... he's gonna lose his father and the big brother he idolizes way too soon. But Ash, we have to live our lives for today. And today Matt's gonna be fine." he told her holding her closer to him.

"Yeah for now. But what about next time. It could be PCP and we could lose him or you for that matter." she cried softly into his chest.

"I'm so sorry Ash. I'm not sorry for the life I have with you and the boys, but I'm sorry you and Brandon are gonna be the ones to suffer the most." he whispered kissing her head.

"I'm not sorry either. Roger, I love youand the boys so much. You have no idea. I do not want to imagine my life without you. You and the boys are the best things that has ever happened to me. I'm just not looking forward to losing the love of my life and my little boy." she said looking up at him still crying.

"Ash Baby, I feel like my life didn't start until that night in the club when I met you." Roger told her leaning down to kiss her.


	39. Chapter 39

"Daddy, when's Matty coming home?" Brandon asked getting ready for school.

"He'll be home by the weekend little man." Roger told him tying his sneakers.

"Is mommy coming home with Matty?" he asked looking over at him.

"Yeah bud, mommy's coming home with Matt." Roger said looking up at him.

"I miss mommy." he said sitting next to him.

"I know. I miss mommy too. But she was worried about Matt, so she had to stay with him." Roger told him putting his arm around Brandon's shoulder.

"Daddy, is Matty gonna die?" Brandon asked looking up at him getting emotional.

"No bud, Matt's gonna be fine. The hospital gave him medicine and now he's all better." Roger said quietly as he pulled him into a hug.

"Good, because I don't want Matty to die." Brandon told him beginning to cry.

"Brandon, listen to me Matt's gonna be OK. They just needed to give him medicine that they can't give him at home. Matty's not gonna die." Roger said quietly as he begn to cry as well.

"I'm sorry I made you cry daddy. I'm just scared." Brandon said looking up at Roger.

"Brandon, you didn't make me cry. I'm scared for Matt too. You love your brother. You didn't do anything wrong, OK?" Roger said looking down at Brandon.

"I love you dad." Brandon said hugging him.

"Oh kiddo, I love you too. So much." Roger said kissing his head.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hi dad." Matt said quietly laying in his hospital bed watching TV as Ashley slept in the chair next to him. He looked much better. There was color in his face and his fever seemed to be down.

"Hey man. You look better than you did yesterday." Roger said sitting on the bed and hugging his son.

"I feel better. The doctors said I could go home probably tomorrow." he said hugging him.

"You have no idea how happy your brother is gonna be to hear that. He misses you and your mom so much." Roger said looking over at Ashley who looked so peaceful.

"I miss him too. I told mom she should go home last night, but you know mom." he said smiling at him.

"Yeah, I know mom." he said still looking at Ashley smiling.

"I love the way you look at her." he said looking up at Roger.

"What do you mean?" Roger asked looking over at him.

"You know know I mean. Like she's the only girl in the world." Matt said smiling at him.

"Well to me she is." he said smiling back at Ashley.

"She is really beautiful, huh?" Matt said now smiling at Ashley.

"The most beautiful girl in the world." Roger said in barely a whisper as Ashley began to wake up.

"You're really lucky dad." Matt said smiling at Roger.

"Yeah I am." Roger replied smiling back at his son as Ashley smiled over at them.

"Good morning my boys." she said smiling at them.

"Good morning beautiful." Roger said going over to kiss her good morning.

"How long have you been here?" Ashley asked sitting up in the chair.

"Just a few minutes. Matt and I were just admiring the most beautiful girl in the world." he said leaning down to kiss her again.

"Oh yeah, I look really beautiful. Maybe they should test this look on the runways in France." she laughed playing with her hair.

"You are beautiful mom." Matt said smiling at them.

"Thank you baby boy. How do you feel?" she asked smiling at him.

"A lot better. The doctor came in earlier and said I could probably go home tomorrow." he answered shifting in the bed.

"The doctor was in? When?" she asked getting up to go to the bed.

"Before dad got here. I didn't want to wake you up. You were really tired yesterday. He said he would be back in before lunch to talk to you and dad." he said smiling up at her as she felt his head.

"Your fever's gone." she said looking up at Roger who was standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her shoulders.

"Doesn't he look better Baby?" he asked smiling at Matt.

"Yeah he does, but that doesn't mean the infection's gone. Did they take blood?" she asked caressing his face.

"No, he said the nurse would be in in a little while to do it. Mom, I feel fine. Don't worry." Matt told her as Roger kissed her head.

"Face it buddy, she's gonna worry whether you like it or not. Trust me. I know her longer." Roger said laughing as he sat in the chair Ashley had just vacated.

"I'm the mom, it's my job to worry." she said looking back at Roger.

"Mom, you don't have to worry so much. I'm OK now." Matt said as Ashley looked back at him.

"Yeah, good luck with that man. If she doesn't listen to me when I tell her not to worry, what makes you think she's gonna listen to you? Yeah right." Roger said smiling at them as he slouched down in the chair to put his head back.

"Is it pick on mom day?" Ashley asked laughing.

"Yeah, sorry we didn't tell you." Matt said laughing as he leaned up to hug her.

"Yeah, yeah. You two think you are so funny, don't you?" she said kissing Matt's cheek.

"Well you always say he's my son Baby." Roger said laughing as he looked over at them.

"That he is." she said smiling at Roger with her arms around Matt.

"Mom, why don't you and dad go downstairs for some coffee or something?" Matt suggested smiling at Roger.

"That is a great idea. Come on Baby." Roger said getting up and taking Ashley's hand.

"Are you gonna be OK?" Ashley asked looking at Matt.

"Mom, I'm 16. I think I can be by myself for a little while so you and dad could go eat breakfast." he laughed looking up at her.

"OK, but we'll only be gone for a little while, OK? I love you." she said sweeping his dirty blond hair back to kiss his forehead.

"I love you too mom." he said smiling at them.

"We'll be back in a minute bud." Roger said kissing his head too.

"Don't worry dad. Keep mom down there for awhile. She needs to get out of this room for a while." Matt said as they left the room.

"How's Brandon?" Ashley asked looking up at Roger.

"He's OK. He misses you and Matt." Roger said putting his arm around her shoulders.

"I miss him too. Is he studying his spelling words?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yes Ash, he's studying his spelling words. He's gonna rock that test on friday." he told her as they got on the elevator.

"Good." she said looking up at him.

"Ash Baby, everything's gonna be fine. It'll be nice to have you and Matt home again." he said leaning down to kiss her.

"I know, I feel so bad. I haven't seen him all week." she said looking up at him.

"Baby, he's fine really. He just misses you and Matt." he said caressing her face as the elevator opened. He hated lying to her, but telling her what he and Brandon talked about that morning would have only served to hurt her.

Me and Matt miss him too." she told him as they went to the cafeteria.


	40. Chapter 40

"Matt, remember what I said 11 o'clock, not a minute later." Roger said as Matt put his coat on.

"I know dad, I'll be home at 11. I promise." he said looking at his hair in the mirror by the door before opening the door.

"Can you believe our little boy is going on a date?" Ashley asked looking up at Roger.

"You guys aren't gonna get all lame on me, are you?" he asked looking back at them.

"Roger Matthew Davis Jr., we're not lame. We just think it's cute that you're dating now." Roger joked smiling at him.

"Oh geez. I'll see you guys at 11." he said laughing as he left the house.

"I can't believe he's actually going on a date." Ashley said facing Roger.

"Ash Baby, he's 17. It was bound to happen sooner or later." he said looking down at her.

"I know, I was just hoping he would be so involved in his music that he wouldn't want to date." she said burying her face in his chest.

"Oh come on Ash. It's OK." he said laughing as he kissed her head.

"When did we get old enough to have a son who's dating?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Apparently tonight." he said caressing her face.

"Ugh, now the fun begins." she said as he held her close.

"That it does Baby." Roger said leaning down to kiss her.

"Dad, do you wanna play playstation with me?" Brandon asked running down the stairs.

"I'll be right up buddy. At least we have a while for Brandon to start dating." he told her smiling.

"But it won't be long for him, you know." she said looking up at him.

"Ash, he's only 9 years old. But when he does start dating, I hope he finds a girl as special and amazing as his mom." he said kissing her again.

"Oh yeah, and as neurotic right." she joked as he held her to him.

"You're not neurotic, you're perfect." he whispered to her before going upstairs to play the video game with Brandon.

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"ASHLEY. ASHLEY. COME QUICK." Roger yelled from Brandon's room.

"What's the matter Roger?" Ashley asked running into the room.

"Dad's gonna beat the game." Brandon said excitedly as he looked intently at the tv.

"Are you kidding? You know you can't scream like that in this house." she said standing in the doorway.

"But look, I'm really close. I just have this board and then I'm done." he said holding the controller.

"You are worse than the boys, do you realize that?" Ashley told him laughing as she sat on Brandon's bed.

"Yeah well, I've been trying to beat this game for a month."he said watching the tv. "You son of a..." he started before Ashley cut him off.

"Roger Matthew Davis Sr." she said as he looked up at her.

"really nice person." he continued as Brandon laughed.

"Dad, that makes no sense at all." he said laughing at him.

"YES. TAKE THAT." Roger yelled dropping the controller to raise his arms into the air in victory.

"You did it dad." Brandon yelled jumping on Roger who was sitting on the floor.

"Ugh, you are getting too big to be jumping on me monster." he laughed as he flipped Brandon onto his back on the floor and started tickling him.

"Dad quit it." he laughed squirming.

"What's the magic words?" Roger asked holding him down.

"Dad's the king. I am just a lowly peasant bowing down to his greatness." Brandon told him laughing as Roger got off of him.

"Roger." Ashley called out laughing.

"What? I am" he asked looking innocently at her.

"OK, who wants some ice cream to celebrate dad's big win?" Ashley asked laughing at them.

"I do, I do, I do." Roger called out excitedly as he got up off of the floor raising his hand.

"Dad, you are such a big kid." Brandon said laughing as he got up off of the floor.

"You're just noticing that shorty." Ashley said laughing as Roger swept her in his arms to kiss her.

"But you know you love that about me." he said kissing her.

"That I do Baby." she said laughing as she kissed him back.


	41. Chapter 41

"Roger, I told you a million times, I'm not getting on those things." Ashley said looking at the skis in front of her.

"Oh come on Baby. It'll be fun." he siad smiling at her.

"Oh yeah, it'll be a lot of fun when you're carrying me up and down the stairs at home with a cast on my leg." she said laughing.

"You're not gonna break your leg." he said putting his arms around her waist.

"Roger, I'm a city girl. I'm not made to stand on a cold wet hill and slide down on a pair of waxed up pieces of fiber glass. You and the boys go, I'll be in the bar." she said leaning up to kiss him.

"It was worth a shot." he said smiling down at her.

"Roger, you've been trying to get me on those things for over 20 years. When are you gonna learn, it ain't happenin?" she asked laughing.

"A guy can dream can't he? I just want to ski with my beautiful wife once in my life." he said as Matt and Brandon ran up to them.

"Dad, we're ready." Matt said zippering his jacket.

"I gotta go Baby. I'll meet you in Tannery Pub in an hour?" he asked smiling down at her.

"It's a date." she said smiling up at him as he leaned down to kiss her once more.

"Come on dad, the lifts are opening and Uncle Adam's waiting outside for us." Brandon said putting is helmet on.

"He's coming. Be careful you two, OK? I don't want any broken boys today, you got that Brandon Thomas?" she asked pointing at the 12 year old.

"Yeah, yeah. Can we go now?" he asked as Roger shot him a look. "Sorry mom. I'll be careful." he said picking up his snowboard and starting to go outside.

"I'll talk to him." Matt said picking up his skis before following his younger brother out.

"What is going on with him these days?" Ashley asked folding her arms cross her chest.

"He's an adolescent boy Ash. He's got all these hormones and he's dealing with a lot for a kid his age. He'll be OK you know." he said holding Ashley's shoulders.

"Roger, he's been like that for years. It's not just adolescence. He's been shutting down for a while. When was the last time he asked you to play a video game with him?" she asked looking up at him with years in her eyes.

"Ash, he's scared. None of the other kids have to deal with what he has to deal with. All we can do is be there for him when he's ready to talk. That's it Baby." Roger said wrapping his arms around her to hold her close to him.

"Remember how sweet and innocent he used to be? Then Matty went into the hospital and he changed. He started pulling away from you and Matty and keeping to himself. He doesn't even talk to me like he used to anymore." she said looking up at him.

"Like father, like son. Sorry Baby. Us Davis men aren't very good with our feelings." he said kissing her head.

"That's not true Roger. You've never shut me out once in 22 years." she said as tears sprung to her eyes.

"That's because you bring out the best in me." he said reaching up to touch her face.

"And you in me my love." she said leaning up to kiss him. "Now, you better go out there. Your ski bums are waiting." she said pulling away from him to wipe her eyes.

"Are you gonna be OK Baby?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. The boys are waiting for you. Don't worry about meeting me in the Tannery in an hour. Take your time. I think the boys need you to spend the day with them. Especially Brandon." she said looking up at him.

"You're right Baby. We'll meet you for lunch, OK?" Roger said leaning down to kiss her.

"I love you Roger." she said smiling up at him.

"I love you too Ash." he whispered before picking up his skis to meet Adam and the boys outside.

"Brand, what is your problem? Why are you being so obnoxious to mom?" Matt asked looking down at his little brother.

"I'm not being obnoxious to mom." he answered putting his gloves on.

"You were so. Brand, you gotta quit it. This isn't easy for mom either, you know." he said as Brandon looked up at him.

"Yeah well mom had a choice, I didn't." Brandon said as tears stung his eyes.

"Yeah she did, but it doesn't mean it's gonna be any easier on her when me and dad are gone, you know. If anything it'll be harder on her then anyone." Matt yelled as Roger came out.

"What's going on our here? I thought we were skiing today, not boxing." Roger said rushing over to them.

"Whatever. I'm gonna get on the gondola. I'll see you guys at Foxlair." Brandon said picking up his snowboard again.

"What's going on Matt? Why were you yelling at him?" Roger asked looking over at his son.

"I asked him why he's being obnoxious to mom and he said that mom chose to watch us die, he didn't." Matt answered him as Roger handed him his skis.

"That poor kid." he said rushing over to the gondola to get Brandon. "Brandon, come here." he said taking his sons arm as Brandon turned to look up at him.

"Dad, I need to be alone, please." he said his eyes wet from tears.

"Brandon, listen to me. I'm sorry you and your mom are gonna have to bury me and Matty, but I'm not sorry I fell in love with her and I'm most definitely not sorry we had you. You, your brother and your mom are the best thing that ever happened to me. The day your mom and I brought Matt home and the day we had you were the happiest days of my life. I'm sorry you have to deal with this stuff at your age. It's not fair to you. But we are a family and we deal with things as a family. Your mom and I are worried about you keeping these things in. It's not healthy for you. We're your parents, we're the ones who are supposed to worry about these things, not you." he said as Brandon began to cry more.

"Yeah but you guys aren't. You guys are acting like you don't have a care in the world. You and Matt are gonna die soon and you guys are acting like everything is normal. It's not dad. None of this is normal." he yelled crying more now.

"I'm sorry Brandon. We just want you and your brother to have normal childhoods. I know this is hard on you. But lashing out at your mom is not gonna make me and Matt not be sick." he said holding his son close to him.

"But mom knew you and Matt were sick and didn't care." he cried into Roger's ski jacket.

"Listen to me kiddo, me and Matt aren't going anywhere yet, OK? Your mom knows that. Sure she fell in love with me despite the fact that I had HIV and she loved Matt because he had it, but you shouldn't act that way towards her. You owe her an apology." he said looking down at him.

"I know dad. I'm sorry. I just feel like she doesn't care that you and Matty are dying and I don't want you to." he said looking up at him.

"Trust me buddy, she cares. But we can't live every day of our lives waiting for it. We just have to live our lives and enjoy whatever time we have. Do you understand what I'm saying?" he asked taking his son's face in his hands.

"Yeah I do dad. I'm sorry I've been acting like a jerk to you and mom." he said wiping his eyes with the back of his gloves.

"I know. Your scared of losing me and Matt. But instead of acting like a jerk, why don't you come to me, mom or Matt? We are a family, you know? You can come to us with anything and we're here. No matter what." he said looking down at him holding back his own tears.

"I know dad. I'm really sorry. I'll apologize to mom." he said looking up at him.

"It can wait until lunch. How about we go tear up Foxlair?" he said smiling at him.

"OK dad. I love you." he said hugging him.

"I love you too Brandon." he said holdig him close as Matt and Adam walked towards them.

"Is everything OK dad?" Matt asked handing Roger his skis.

"Yeah it is Matt. How about we hit the slopes?" Roger asked smiling at Matt.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you little man." Matt said looking down at Brandon.

"That's OK. I was being a jerk to mom. I deserved it." Brandon said smiling up at his older brother.

"Yeah you did. Mom's the coolest mom ever. She doesn't deserve us to be obnoxious to her." Matt said patting Brandon's helmet.

"Yeah she is. Dad said I could apologize to her at lunch." Brandon said as Matt put his arms around his shoulders.

"Good. And I think you owe her one of your stories." he said smiling down at her.

"I think she'd really like that kiddo." Roger said smiling at him.

"OK dad." he said smiling as they all began walking to the gondola.


	42. Chapter 42

"Brandon honey, are you OK?" Ashley asked peaking her head into the 13 year olds room hearing him crying.

"Um, mom yeah. I'm fine." he said sitting up in the bed wiping his eyes.

"Brandon, talk to me." she said sitting on his bed.

"He's really sick isn't he?" he asked as his eyes filled with tears again.

"Yeah honey, he is." she said quietly looking down.

"How long?" he asked as tears streamed down his face.

"I don't know sweetie. 6 months maybe." she said as her eyes filled with tears too.

"I know this isn't easy on you." he asked as she looked down.

"No Brandon, it's not." she said wiping her eyes.

"When's dad coming home? I wanna go see Uncle Collins?" he asked looking up at her.

"I know you do sweetie. Why don't you get cleaned up, your dad'll be home soon? I love you Brandon Thomas, you know that right?" she asked reaching out to caress his cheek.

"I know mom." he said giving her a faint smile. When she left Brandon's room she knocked on Matt's bedroom door.

"Matty, can I come in?" she asked as tears streamed down her face.

"Yeah mom, what's the matter?" he asked opening the door seeing her crying.

"I was just talking to Brandon about losing Uncle Collins." she said crying into her sons chest.

"I know mom. It's OK." he said quietly comforting her.

"It's so hard, you know? I mean, he's our family. He was there for all the great things in our lives." she cried as Matt stroked his mother's hair.

"I know mom, but Uncle Collins is ready to be with Aunt Angel again." he whispered as she cried into his chest.

"Did I ever tell you about how he used to hit on me to torture your dad?" she asked starting to laugh as she looked up at him.

"But Uncle Collins is gay." Matt said confused.

"That's what your dad always told him. It was hilarious. Your dad used to yell at him on stage, and even on our wedding day. Uncle Collins loved torturing your dad." she said laughing and crying at the same time.

"Mom, he's not gone yet." Matt said looking down at her as tears formed in his eyes.

"I know sweetie, I'm sorry. I'm just not ready to lose one of my boys to this, you know." she said as Roger came in the house. "Your dad's home. Get ready to go OK." she patting her 21 year old sons chest.

"Are you OK mom?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah I am baby boy. Thanks. You always were your father's son." she said smiling up at him.

"I always took that as a compliment." he said smiling at her.

"It was always meant to be." she told him before leaving the room.

"Ash Baby, did something happen?" he asked seeing that she had been crying.

"No, he's the same. I was just talking to the boys. I'm OK. We should be getting ready to go. Brandon really wants to see him." she said wiping her face.

"How is he?" he asked looking at Brandon's bedroom door.

"He's OK. We talked. He's just scared." she said holding back her tears.

"I know Baby, so am I. Do you want me to go in and talk to him?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, that's a great idea." she said leaning up to kiss him.

"OK Baby." he said going to Brandon's bedroom door. "Brand, it's dad. Can I come in?" he asked knocking on the 13 year olds door.

"Yeah dad, come on in." Brandon said wiping his eyes.

"Are you OK man?" he asked quietly as Brandon looked at him.

"No, but it doesn't matter. It's not like I can save Uncle Collins. Or you and Matt for that matter." he said looking down.

"I'm sorry Brand. I know this is the first step in a long line of heart aches you're gonna have in your life. I wish I could take the hurt away." Roger said slowly stepping into the room.

"I know dad. It's not your fault. I would rather have you guys in my life for the little while you're here then to not have you guys at all." he said looking up at him.

"I'm glad man. Are you OK now?" he asked sitting on the bed next to him.

"Yeah, I'm OK dad. I gotta get ready to go. Go make sure mom's OK. I think I made her cry." he said looking up at him.

"It's not you Brand. None of this is easy on your mom. Her and Uncle Collins have always been really close." he told him leaning forward on his legs.

"I know dad." he said looking over at him.

"Come on, let's go see your uncle." Roger said getting up from the bed.

"Dad." Brandon called out looking up.

"Yeah?" Roger said turning around.

"I love you." he said as tears filled his eyes.

"I know Brand. I love you too." Roger said rushing over to his son and holding him tight.


	43. Chapter 43

"Hey Uncle Collins." Matt said as he walked into Collins hospital room.

"Hey dude, where's your mom and dad?" he asked sitting up in the bed.

"They're downstairs talking to Uncle Mark and Aunt Kelly." he answered as Brandon sat in the chair next to his bed.

"Cool, I get time with my boys. So tell me, how's that girl of yours?" he asked looking up at Matt.

"She's OK. She says hi." he said looking down at Brandon who hadn't said a word since they walked in the door.

"Good. How you doin little man?" Collins asked looking over at Brandon.

"I'm OK." he said quietly looking up at him.

"No you're not Brandon Thomas and you know it. Come here." he said patting the bed.

"I'm sorry Uncle Collins, I'm just scared." he said looking at him trying not to cry.

"Don't be. I've had a good life. I got to watch two of my best friends get married and bring 2 incredible young men into this world. I'm ready." he said smiling up at them.

"But Uncle Collins, I don't want you to die." Brandon said starting to cry.

"I know little man. And I don't want to leave you either. You guys are the greatest gift your parents ever gave me." he said reaching up to comfort him.

"It's OK Uncle Colllins. You'll be with Aunt Angel and Aunt Mimi soon." Matt said fighting his own tears.

"I know they are really proud of you boys. Even though they never got the chance to know you guys or your mom, they love you because they were a part of this family too." Collins said starting to cough.

"Are you OK? Do you want water or something?" Brandon asked reaching over for the water.

"Thanks little man." he said taking a sip of the water before handing it back to him. "You know, I remember the day your parents were going to pick you up Matt. Your mom was such a wreck. She worried whether or not she would be a good mother to you." he said smiling up at him.

"Really? I didn't know mom was freaked out. I thought if one of them was freaked out, it would be dad." Matt said laughing as he sat in the chair Brandon had vacated.

"Oh no, your dad was cool as a cucumber. Your mom on the other hand was rushing around the old apartment like a nut case." he said laughing.

"Really? Mom?" Brandon asked laughing with him.

"Oh yeah. Babygirl was a mess. But I knew from the minute I met her that she would take care of this family. When her and your dad decided to adopt you, they were on cloud 9." he said smiling at Matt.

"I always loved being your Babygirl." Ashley said smiling as she and Roger walked into the room.

"Well you are." he said looking up at her.

"How are you feeling sweetie?" she asked approaching the bed as Brandon silently got upand went to Roger.

"I'm better now that my Babygirl is here." he said leaning up to hug her.

"Dude, did you forget that you're gay again?" Roger said as he, Collins and Ashley laughed.

"Yeah well, I'm dying. Can't you give a dying man and hetero moment?" he joked as Brandon rushed out of the room.

"I'll get him." Matt said following him.

"No, I'll go. You stay with your uncle and your mom." Roger said putting his hand on Matt's shoulder before leaving the room.

"Is little man OK?" Collins asked looking at Ashley who had tears rolling down her face.

"He's taking it really hard. He's not ready to lose you." she said as Collins reached up to wipe her tears.

"I'm sorry Babygirl. I wish I could stay here with you and our boys forever, but it's not meant to be." he said looking up at her.

"I know, but it doesn't make it any easier." she said as he pulled her to him.

"I'm really gonna miss you and those boys." he said stroking her hair.

"And we're gonna miss you too." she said crying into his chest.

"Brandon, are you here?" Roger asked quietly as he entered the chapel. He could hear Brandon wimpering in the corner. "Brand." he said quietly as he knelt down in front of the boy.

"Why, dad?" Brandon cried as Roger took him in his arms.

"I know man. Let it out." Roger said comforting his son.

"Why the hell is this happening to our family?" he asked crying harder into Roger's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Brand. I never meant to do this to you." he whispered crying with him.

"Dad, what's gonna happen when you and Matt die?" he said looking up at him.

"Brandon, don't think about that right now, OK? Let's just get through this." he said not knowing what else to say. He knew he wouldn't be too far behind Collins and he dreaded leaving Brandon and Ashley.

"I'm sorry dad, but I've been thinking about it since I was 8." Brandon said wiping his eyes.

"I know man. But me and Matt are healthy right now." he said stroking his sons golden blond hair.

"I'll take care of mom, OK. I promise." he said as Roger began to cry again.

"You're a good man Brandon. I love you so much, you know that right?" Roger said looking down at him.

"I know dad. I always knew." Brandon said as Mark walked into the chapel.

"There you two are. Collins is asking for his godson." he said looking down at them.

"Are you ready to go back in?" Roger asked looking at Brandon.

"Yeah dad, I'm ready." he said getting up and going back to Collins room. Roger just sat on the floor crying into his hands.

"This is really rough on him, huh?" Mark said looking down at Roger.

"Mark, he's 13 and he's losing his godfather and before he's 18 he's gonna lose his father and maybe his brother. What do you think?" he asked looking up at him. Roger's eyes were red from crying and his face was soaked with tears.

"Roger, do you want me to get Ash?" Mark asked kneeling down.

"No Mark, don't. She has enough to deal with. I don't want to add to it." he said wiping his eyes with the back of his hand before getting up and leaving the chapel.

"Roger, are you OK?" Ashley asked standing in the hallway with Kelly while the boys were in with Collins.

"Yeah, I was just talking to Brandon. He'll be OK." he said putting his arms around her and kissing her head.

"I didn't ask that Roger. I asked if you were OK?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah Ash Baby, I'm OK." he said lying to her. He was so scared of leaving her and the boys, but didn't want to worry her with it just then. Ashley had spent the last 25 years loving Roger and Collins knowing she would lose them eventually and now she was about to lose one of them. She and Collins had become very close since that Sunday morning they met at the Life Cafe. He became like a big brother to her and depended on him to be there and he was about to not be anymore. The last thing he wanted was to add his fear to hers.

"Mom, dad, Uncle Collins wants you." Matt said as he and Brandon left the room.

"Are you boys OK?" Ashley asked looking up at them.

"Yeah mom, we're OK." Brandon said quietly as he feined a smile for his mother's sake.

"Are you ready Baby?" Roger asked looking down at her.

"No, but do I have a choice?" she asked looking up at him.

"I'm sorry Baby." he whispered looking down at her.

"Roger, I'm not. Every minute of this last 25 years has been worth it. You, our friends and our boys. All of it. So don't you dare be sorry." she said grabbing his arm crying.

"I know Ash. If I had to do any of it again, I wouldn't change a single thing. Falling in love with you, having the boys. None of it." he said crying with her.

"So what are you sorry for?" she asked looking up at him.

"I'm sorry you have to bury half of the men in your life too soon." he said wiping her eyes with his thumb.

"Roger Matthew Davis, I love my life the way it is. Don't you ever apologize for our life." she yelled at him as Matt, Brandon, Kelly and Mark looked on stunned.

"You're right Ash. I'm sorry." he said wiping his own eyes.

"I mean it, and that goes for you 4 too. I'm not sorry for my life. Any of it. It's not easy for me to lose the people I love most in this world, but I love all of you and every minute I've had with you has been the greatest of my life. I don't want anyone looking at me like, 'Poor Ashley. She's about to lose her big brother and eventually she'll lose her husband and son too.' Because I do not regret anything in my life." she said looking at Matt, Brandon, Kelly and Mark.

"We're sorry mom." Matt said looking down at her.

"Roger Matthew Davis Jr., I chose you to be my son. Your disease and all. I do not regret that choice. Not for one second of my life. And Brandon Thomas, I will not have you take care of me. I am the mother here. I will be the one taking care of you. I know you are your fathers son and I love you for it, but you don't need to take care of me. I am fully capable of taking care of myself and my family, do you hear me?" she said pointing to both boys.

"OK mom." Matt said looking down at his brother.

"OK mom." Brandon repeated as Ashley turned and went into Collins room alone.

"Wow, I have never seen Ash so pissed at you three." Kelly said as Roger and the boys just stared at each other in disbelief.

"She was pissed at you too Aunt Kel." Matt said looking up at Roger.

"But she's right. We've all been trying to protect her and take care of her." Mark said looking over at Roger and the boys.

"I'm not sorry I fell in love with her. I'm just sorry she has to deal with this." Roger said quietly.

"I'm not sorry you guys picked me." Matt said looking up at Roger.

"I'm not sorry that you guys are my parents." Brandon said smiling up at Roger.


	44. Chapter 44

"Ash, are you OK?" Kelly asked as she entered the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'm OK Kel. How about you?" Ashley asked wiping her eyes.

"I can't believe he's really gone." she said starting to cry.

"I know Kel. But he's with Angel and Mimi again." Ashely said as she hugged her best friend.

"A lot's changed since we lived in the old apartment, huh?" Kelly asked looking over at her.

"Yeah it has. But it's all been really good." Ashley said smiling at her.

"They've really changed us, haven't they?" Kelly said wiping her eyes.

"Yeah they have. I remember you bitching about me dragging you to the club every friday night to see that hot lead singer and now look at us. I'm married to that hot lead singer and we have 2 amazing boys and you're married to his best friend." Ashley said laughing.

"You know, I knew the first night you talked to him that things would never be the same again. But in a good way." Kelly said smiling at her.

"Yeah, teaching me how to play pool. That was such a lame excuse to get close to me." Ashley said as Roger and Mark entered the kitchen.

"How's my girl?" Roger asked wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.

"I'm OK Baby. We were just talking about that first night at the club." she said as Mark put his arms around Kelly.

"Oh yeah, the night you guys talked for 2 hours and didn't even kiss. Roger was sweating over you so bad that night. He was up most of the night just strumming away on his guitar and then he spent the next day staring at your phone number." Mark said laughing.

"You were staring at my phone number all day?" Ashley asked looking back at him.

"Yeah, Collins was teasing me too. When I got off the phone with you, him and Mark came home and he asked about you and I told him you were cool. Then I started staring at your phone number again and he was going on about how you must be more than cool by the way I was staring at my hand. You know, he liked you from the minute I started talking to him about you." Roger said kissing her head.

"I miss him so much Roger." Ashley said starting to cry again.

"I know Baby, so do I. He is so proud of you you know." he said as she turned around to cry into his chest.

"I"m sorry Roger. I just can't believe he's really gone." Ashley said looking up at him.

"I know Baby." he whispered kissing her head.

"How are the boys taking it?" Kelly asked wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Matt's been spending a lot of time with Chloe and Brandon's been glued to me lately." Roger said looking up at her.

"He's afraid of losing you Roger. He wants to spend as much time with you as possible." Mark said looking up at him.

"I know. I just wish this wasn't so hard on him, you know?" he said looking down at Ashley.

"I know Roger, but he'll be OK." Mark said as Brandon came into the kitchen.

"Dad, can you help me with that thing now?" he asked looking up at Roger.

"Sure little man. Gimme a minute, OK?" Roger said smiling at him.

"Thanks dad." he said before leaving the room.

"What's that all about?" Ashley asked looking up at him.

"He wants me to tell him stories about Collins and everyone. He wants to write a story for his creative writing class." he said smiling down at her.

"That's great Honey. At least he's not shutting down again." Ashley said looking up at him.

"Yeah, now he's just scared to death of losing me and Matt." he said looking down at her.

"Honey, he's always been scared of losing you and Matt." she said as he began to pace the kitchen.

"Yeah but losing Collins brought it out more." he said not looking at her.

"Roger, he's your son. He worships you and wants to make you proud of him." she said leaning forward on the counter.

"Ash, I have always been proud of both of my boys. I just hope all of this is worth it." he said starting to cry.

"Do you think it is?" she asked walking over to him.

"I don't know Ash. You and those boys are my life. You always have been, but I just don't know anymore." he said as Ashley looked up at him hurt.

"How can you stand there and say that after everything that's happened the last 25 years?" she asked yelling at him.

"Ash, look around. We just lost one of our best friends to the same disease that's gonna take me and Matt. Can you honestly say that the last 25 years was worth all that?" he yelled back as Mark and Kelly looked on stunned.

"Yes I can Roger. You and those boys are the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. Ask Kelly. Before we met, I had nothing. Then, one night I saw a band in a club and the lead singer spoke to me. Sure I thought you were cute, but your lyrics spoke to me Roger. Dammit, how can you not know if it's all been worth our life and our family?" she yelled looking up at him.

"The fact that me and Matt are gonna have to hurt you and Brandon." he yelled back as she rushed out of the house.

"Roger, how could you say that to her?" Kelly asked rushing after her.

"Dammit Mark. Look at them. How can I do that her again?" Roger said gesturing his hand towards the back door.

"Roger, she knew what she was getting into with you, Collins and Matt and she loves you anyway. What the hell is wrong with you?" Mark yelled as Brandon came down the stairs.

"Dad, Uncle Mark, what's going on? Where's mom?" he asked as Roger just looked up at him.

"Her and Aunt Kelly went out for a little while. They'll be back in a little bit. How about I go up and tell you those stories now?" Roger asked calmly.

"Why were you and mom yelling at each other?" Brandon asked looking up at him.

"I said something stupid Brand. Really stupid." Roger said looking down at him.

"Dad, she loves you. I always knew that. The way she takes care of us, how could she not?" Brandon said looking up at him with tears in his eyes.

"It's OK Brand. Your mom and I are fine. I promise you that." Roger said reaching out to hold his son.

"I know dad. But she's scared. I've never known mom to be scared, but she is." he said pulling away from him.

"I know Brand and I don't know how to not make her scared." Roger said looking down at him.

"Dad, you can't. Just like you and Matt can't make yourselves not have HIV anymore." Brandon said walking away from him.

"I'm pretty stupid, huh?" Roger asked looking over at him.

"It's OK dad. We love you anyway." Brandon said turning to him as a faint smile crossed his face.

"Ash, calm down." Kelly said quietly as she held her best friend in an embrace.

"How could he say that Kel? We just lost Collins and he doesn't know if the last 25 years of our life has been worth it? I mean without the last 25 years I wouldn't have both of my beautiful boys, I wouldn't have had Collins and I wouldn't have the greatest love a woman could ever ask for." she cried as Kelly rocked her back and forth.

"I know honey, he's just really scared right now. Losing Collins has been hard on everyone and he just doesn't want you, Matt and Brand to watch him die the same way." Kelly said stroking her hair.

"Kel, I'm a nurse. I've watched people die of this before and I didn't care. The love I have for him out weighted the heartache of losing him. And it was my choice to have an HIV positive child, so how could he act like he did this to me?" she asked crying harder.

"Honey, he loves you so much, you know that. That's just Roger being Roger." she whispered comforting her best friend.

"I know, I love him so much too Kel." she said quietly.

"I don't just love you Ash Baby, you're my life. You and our boys." Roger said quietly as he stood over them with tears running down her face.

"I'll leave you two alone." Kelly said getting up as Ashley just looked up at him. "Don't say anything stupid Davis." she said quietly as she rubbed his arm before going into the house.

"I'm sorry Ash. I never should have said those things. I just can't stand the thought of leaving you and hurting you this way." he said quietly as he sat down next to her.

"Roger, I knew that first night we met that I was gonna lose you eventually, but I was willing to do that to be with you. I knew that first night that you would change my life." she told him still crying.

"So did I. No other girl ever had the effect on me that you did. And still do." he said caressing her cheek.

"Roger, I do not regret our life together. Not one second of it. Loving you and our boys is the reason I'm here. Even if I have to lose you and Matt." she said as he brought her to him.

"I know Ash." he said crying with her.

"When you said you didn't know if any of this was worth it, that really hurt. It sounded almost as if you regret our life together." she cried looking up at him.

"No way Ash. Not even for a second. I hope you know that." he said wiping his own eyes.

"I always thought I knew, but then Collins died and it seems like you've changed." she said pulling away from him.

"I just don't want you to be hurt like this again but I know it's inevitable and I'm the one who's gonna do it." he cried as she caressed his cheek.

"Roger, you listen to me. You have loved me for more than half of my life and if the only hurt you ever cause me is at the end of your life. I'm pretty damn lucky." she said starting to smile.

"But Ash..." he started before he was interrupted by her lips touching his.

"Roger, I'm a lucky girl and it's because of you, so don't be sorry for any of it. I'm not." she said as he held her close to him.

"I love you Ash Baby." he whispered stroking her hair.

"And I love you Roger." she said holding him tighter.


	45. Chapter 45

"Mom, dad can I ask you a favor?" Brandon asked walking into the living room where Roger and Ashley were laying together on the couch.

"Sure sweetie, what is it?" Ashley asked looking up at him.

"Can you guys read my story and tell me what you think?" he asked holding the story which was bound in a report folder.

"Of course little man. We'd be honored." Roger said as he and Ashley sat up to read it.

"Now, I'm pretty sure I got everything but if I left something out tell me." he said sitting nervously on the chair.

"Don't worry sweetie, I'm sure it's perfect." Ashley said as he handed it to her.

"Thanks guys." he said getting up to go up to his room.

"Can you believe how nervous he is?" Roger asked smiling down at Ashley.

"Roger, he's not like you and Matty. He's very self conscious about his writing." she said sitting up to face him.

"I know Baby." he said kissing her head before they opened to the cover page. It read, My Family by Brandon Thomas Davis. The first line read, "Being in my family is hard sometimes. I mean, sure we have fun like other families do, like when my dad nad my brother jam in the living room as my mom sings along, or when my Uncle Mark films everyone talking about the old times, but it's hard when we lose someone. That happens in every family, but it's extremely hard in my family because when we lose someone, we know someone else isn't too far behind." As Roger and Ashley read that they looked at one another with tears in their eyes.

"My poor baby." Ashley said as Roger held her close.

I know Baby." he said caressing her back. He couldn't help but be proud of Brandon. He had withdrawn so much after Matt got out of the hospital and now here he was, coming to terms with Collins death and talking about it. "Ash Baby, you don't have to keep reading it if it't too hard." he said as he kissed her head.

"No, Roger I have to. I'm OK." she said directing her attention back to the story. As they read it, they laughed and cried at some of it's content. Brandon included stories about Collins and how his parents first met. Roger told him all about what they went through adopting Matt and when they had him. Brandon had put into words exactly what Roger felt. He was so proud of how talented Brandon was. As they reached the end they just looked at each other and cried.

"Wow." was all Roger could get out.

"I know. He's really good." she said smiling up ath im as she wiped her eyes.

"Do you need a minute or can I call him down now?" Rogre asked caressing her face.

"I'm OK, call him down." she said smiling at him as she held the folder firmly to her chest.

"Brandon Thomas." he yelled as Ashley laughed.

"He's gonna think he's in trouble." she said laughing.

"Yeah right Ash. When has that kid ever been in trouble?" Roger laughed as Brandon ran down the stairs.

"Did you guys like it?" he asked anxiously as he ran into the living room.

"Brandon, we don't know what to say. It's incredible." Ashley said as Roger smiled at him.

"Really?" he asked sounding surprised.

"Brandon, you are very talented." Roger said smiling down at Ashley before looking over at his son.

"Did I forget anything? Because if I did, I can change it. I have it saved on my computer." he said looking over at them.

"No, Brandon it's perfect." Ashley said leaning over to touch his leg.

"I wanted to write about our family and you know, dedicate it to Uncle Collins." he said looking over at them.

"He's really proud of you, you know." Roger said leaning up towards his son.

"I know dad." Brandon said smiling at Roger.

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"You should have read it Mark, it would have broke your heart." Roger said sitting in the living room with Mark.

"Roger, at least he's not shutting you guys out this time." Mark told him drinking his beer.

"Yeah but he was talking about losing Collins and me and Matt being sick. Mark, I'm so proud of him. He's just like Ash with the writing." he said looking over at him.

"Yeah well Roger, he took Collins death really hard and this is the only way he knows to let it out. Do you remember how I was after Angel died?" he asked leaning up on his legs.

"Yeah and do you remember how I was? Matt's doing the same thing. He's been on the run since the funeral." Roger said running his fingers through his hair.

"Well he is your son." Ashley said standing in the doorway with Kelly.

"Hey Ash Baby." he said quietly looking up at her.

"Roger, Matt'll come around just like you did. You just gotta give him time. Losing Collins just brought his own mortality front and center for him. He feels like he needs to spend time with Chloe right now." she said sitting next to him.

"I'm worried about him. I mean, he hasn't said more than 2 words to me since Collins died. I was so busy worrying about how Brandon would take it, I screwed up with Matt." Roger said looking up at her with tears in his eyes.

"No you didn't. Roger don't talk like that. You did not screw up with Matt. You are the greatest father in the world. Matt is a good kid and that's because of you. He just needs a little time." she said wrapping her arms around him.

"Roger, do you remember when Matt was a baby? You used to play on the floor with him everyday. I don't know any father who would do that." Kelly said quietly as she sat next to Mark.

"Things were so easy with him when he was little, you know? I'd get on the floor and play cars or blocks with him and he was happy. But he's 21 now, I can't fix this, you know?" he said crying into her shoulder.

"I know Baby. Let it out." she said holding him in her arms.

"Ash, I just wish there was something I could do to help him." he cried looking over at her.

"I know Roger, but you're already doing it. You're his father and your here. And he knows. When he's ready he'll come to you. He always does." she said as tears rolled down her face too.

"I know. I'm sorry Ash. I'm just worried about him." he said caressing her face.

"So am I Roger, but we have to trust that he'll come to us when he's ready." she said looking at him.

"How is it you always know what to say?" he asked starting to smile at her.

"Because I know my boys. All 3 of them." she said caressing his face as Mark and Kelly smiled at them.


	46. Chapter 46

"Hey man, can we talk?" Roger asked looking up from his guitar as Matt walked into the house.

"Dad, can it wait? I'm really tired." Matt said running his fingers through his short spiked hair.

"Matt, I'm worried about you." he said putting his guitar next to the couch.

"Dad, I'm fine." he said sitting in the chair.

"You haven't spent more than 5 minutes awake home since Uncle Collins died and your mom and I miss you." Roger said leaning up to him.

"Dad, I just feel like I have to spend time with Chloe, you know? I mean, I love her. I think I love her like you like mom and I don't want to waste any time without her." Matt said looking up at him.

"Really? It's that serious?" Roger asked smiling at him.

"Yeah dad, it is. I mean, I like being with her the way you like being with mom. I'm sorry you guys are worried about me, but I'm fine." Matt said smiling back at him.

"We were just scared that you were my son in more ways than one. I had a tendency to run when things got too real. It was before I met your mom, but still." he said laughing a little.

"Dad, I remember you telling me what you did after Aunt Angel died, but this is different. I have you, mom, and Brand. I would never run away from you guys." he said leaning forward.

"I was just scared." Roger said as Matt leaned up to hug him.

"Dad, I love you and mom so much. You guys have done so much for me. I would never want to be away from you guys." he said as tears came to Roger's eyes.

"You have no idea how much we love you Roger Matthew Davis Jr." Roger said holding his son tight.

"I'm gonna go to bed now, OK dad? Can we hang out tomorrow? Just you, me, mom and Brand." Matt said rubbing his eyes.

"I know your mom and brother would really like that." Roger said smiling at him.

"And then could Brand maybe stay with grandma and grandpa so you, me, mom and Chloe can go out?" he asked looking up at him.

"That sounds cool Matt. I'll talk to your mom, but I don't see why not. I know your mom has been wanting to spend time with you and Chloe for a while now." Roger told him smiling wider.

"Dad, do you think it hurts when you die?" Matt asked looking over at him.

"When Aunt Mimi almost died that Christmas eve, she said she saw Aunt Angel and there was this warm, bright light. She said it didn't hurt at all." Roger said quietly as Matt got up.

"OK. Thanks dad." he said getting up and going upstairs. Roger sat back on the couch and lifted his arms up to his head. He began to cry. That was the one question he wasn't prepared to get from Matt. That was the last thing he wanted Matt to ask him.

"Roger, are you OK?" Ashley asked hearing Roger in the living room.

"No Ash, I'm not. Matt just asked me if I think it hurts when you die." he answered as he buried his face in his hands.

"Oh Roger." she said rushing over to comfort him.

"I don't want him thinking about that." he said leaning in to her.

"Neither do I Roger, but he's HIV positive and death is a reality for him, just like it is for you." she said starting to cry herself.

"But Ash Baby, the last thing I ever wanted was for him to worry about this." he cried looking up at her.

"Roger, he's 21 years old. He's not a little boy anymore." she told him caressing her face.

"I know he's not a little boy anymore Ash, he's a grown man. A grown man who's in love." he said looking up at her.

"Him and Chloe?" Ashley asked wiping her eyes.

"Yeah, he wants to hang out just the 4 of us and then asked if Brandon could stay with your parents so we could go out with him and Chloe." he said smiling at her.

"Really?" she asked starting to smile.

"Yeah, he said he thinks he loves her like I love you." he said caressing her face.

"Impossible Baby." she said leaning up to kiss him. "No man could love any woman the way you love me." she said smiling at him.

"You got that right Baby." he said kissing her again.

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"Are you gonna be OK with me and dad going out with Matt and Chloe?" Ashley asked smiling up at Brandon.

"Yeah mom, me and grandpa are gonna work out in the basement. Don't worry so much. Just go out with Matty and have some fun, OK?" he said hugging his mother.

"Thank you sweetie. I love you." Ashley said smiling up at him.

"I love you too mom." he said before rushing down to the basement.

"Well, I guess I have nothing to worry about, huh?" Ashley laughed looking over at her mother.

"Sweetie, you've always had seperation anxiety when it came to the boys. He'll be fine you know. You owe it to your other two boys to go out and have fun. You all deserve it." Mrs. McCoy said smiling at her.

"Yeah we do, don't we?" Ashley said looking over at her mother.

"Sweetie, it's been a rough couple of months, but you got through it as a family. Now your older son is in love and he wants you to spend time with him and his special girl. It kind of reminds me of the day you brought a certain lead singer to lunch with me and your dad." Mrs. McCoy said putting her arm around her daughter.

"Yeah, he made quite an impression that weekend, didn't he?" Ashley asked laughing.

"He sure did. You two moved in together that weekend." she said smiling at her.

"Ugh, we moved really fast, didn't we?" Ashley asked looking over at her.

"Oh Ashley, you and Roger were in love. Your father and I saw that the minute you two walked into this house that morning. There's nothing wrong with moving fast if you're following your heart and Roger has always been in your heart. 25 years and 2 sons are proof of that." she said hugging her daughter.

"I know mom. And now I'm in your shoes. Going out with my son and the woman he loves. I'm just so scared." Ashley said looking over at her.

"What are you scared of sweetie? Matty's in love. What's wrong with that? You should be happy for him." she said smiling at her.

"I am happy for him. I really am. But mom, I'm scared for Chloe. I'm in that poor girls shoes. She's gonna have to watch him get sick and die just like I have to watch him and Roger. It's not fair for her mom." Ashley said starting to cry.

"Ashley, listen to me, you love Roger and Matt and I'm sure if Matt is in love with Chloe that means she loves him too. She knows what she's getting into just like you did." Mrs. McCoy said taking her daughters face in her hands.

"But mom, I've had 25 years with Roger and 21 with Matt. How much longer do you think Matt has?" Ashley cried looking at her.

"Sweetie, that's why you should be happy for Matt. He deserves to experience what you and Roger have. What you and Roger have shown him is possible, even with his HIV." she told her caressing her face.

"Yes he does. When Roger and I first met him in that hospital nursery, all we wanted to do was give him a good home and 2 parents who love him no matter what. Now we wish we could guarantee him a long happy life full of love." she cried as Mrs. McCoy brought her close.

"Ashley, you and Roger have done that. You love that boy more than you love yourselves. You always have. I mean, do you remember how you and Roger used to bicker about who was gonna get up and feed him in the morning? I thought you were nuts." Mrs. McCoy said laughing.

"Well Matt always woke up better when Roger was the first person he saw in the morning." she said laughing at the memory.

"Yeah well, you always made sure that boy had love in his life, Brandon too. Sweetie, give Matt the opportunity to have love you brought him up with." she told her smiling at her.

"You're right mom. Thanks. What would I do without you?" Ashley asked wiping her eyes.

"You'd probably go to Roger, who would tell you the same thing." Mrs. McCoy laughed as she caressed her daughters face.

"I love you mom." she said hugging her again.

"I know my sweet girl, I love you too." mrs. McCoy said smiling at her as she held her close.


	47. Chapter 47

"Ash Baby, did everything go OK dropping Brand off?" Roger asked taking his meds in the kitchen.

"Um, yeah. I just had to talk to my mom. Sorry it took me so long." she said avoiding him as she went up the stairs to their bedroom.

"Ash Baby, are you OK?" he asked following her up the stairs.

"Yeah, I'm OK. I have to start getting ready so we could meet Matt and Chloe at the bar." she said going into their bathroom.

"Ashley, talk to me. You don't sound right. Did everything go OK at your parents house?" he asked standing in the doorway.

"Yeah, I was just talking to my mom about stuff that's all." she said looking up at him. Her eyes were still red and he could tell she had been crying.

"What happened?" he asked rushing over to her.

"I was just talking to my mom about Matt and Chloe." she told him holding back her tears.

"You see a lot of yourself in Chloe, don't you Baby?" he asked wrapping his arms around her.

"Yeah, it's not fair that she's gonna love him and lose him." she said beginning to cry again.

"No it's not." he whispered holding her tight.

"At least I was a nurse, you know? I knew what I was getting into. Poor Chloe doesn't realize how real his HIV is." she cried looking up at him.

"I'm sure she does. Maybe you could spend some time, just you and her and get to know her. I mean, knowing Matt, she's gonna be around for a while." Roger suggested looking down at her.

"You don't think he's moving in with her, do you?" she asked looking up at him.

"You never know. He is his fathers son." he said smiling down at her.

"I'm not prepared to be my mother just yet." she told him laughing a little.

"I think we were a bit more impulsive though." he said smiling at her.

"Yeah, my mom and I were just talking about the day I brought my hot lead singer boyfriend to meet my parents and he moved in that weekend." Ashley told him smiling.

"We did move really fast, didn't we?" he said kissing her head.

"Well how were we supposed to know that we'd have all this time together? We were in love and saw no reason to waste any time." she said looking up at him.

"I'm still in love with you Ash Baby. You're my girl." he whispered taking her face in his hands.

"You have no idea how much I always loved being your girl." she said smiling at him.

"And now Matt's got a girl he loves and we should be happy for him." Roger said leaning in to kiss her.

"Roger, it's not that I'm not happy for him. I want my son to experience great love in his life. I'm just worried about Chloe. I was that girl 25 years ago, but I didn't care. I knew what I was getting into. I'm just scared that she doesn't." she said looking into his green eyes.

"I know Ash." he said quietly as he held her to him.

"I'm sorry Roger. I should be getting ready to meet our son and his girlfriend." she said wiping her eyes as he loosened this hold on her.

"I love you Ash Baby." he said looking down at her.

"Oh Roger, there is not one minute that we've been together that I have not known that." she said reaching up to caress his face.

"I hope not Ash." he said leaning down to kiss her again.

"Don't worry. I've always known." she said smiling at him before she started to get ready to meet Matt and Chloe.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Mom, dad overe here." Matt called out from the end of the bar.

"Hi sweetie. It looks like our son has taken over our saturday night activity." Ashley joked hugging her son hello.

"You and dad made karaoke sound like so much fun, me and Chloe decided to try it. This is where you realized mom could rock, right dad?" Matt asked looking up at Roger.

"That's right. She sung a metal ballad with me and then she did a Pat Benatar song and blew me away." Roger answered holding Ashley close to him.

"Matt told me you used to sing with Roger. I would have loved to hear that." Chloe said with Matt's arms around her waist.

"That was a long time ago. I quit to be with my boys." Ashley said smiling over at her.

"That's really great Ashley." Chloe said smiling back.

"So mom, do you plan on singing tonight?" Matt asked as Roger kissed Ashley's head.

"Only if I can sing with my guy." she said smiling up at Roger.

"Deal. Let's see if this new guy has Frankie's playlist." Roger said taking Ashley's hand.

"Your parents are so cute together. They're still in love after all this time." Chloe said smiling up at Matt.

"Yeah, they were always like that too. Growing up with them made me believe it was possible to be positive and still have love in my life." he said picking up his beer.

"Well you do you know." she said putting her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

"I know Baby." he said smiling at her as they directed their attention back to Roger and Ashley who were standing over the DJ's playbook. Roger had his arm around Ashley's waist and she threw her head back as she laughed.

"I hope we're half as happy as they are." Chloe said looking up at him.

"Me too." Matt said smiling at his parents.


	48. Chapter 48

"Chloe, it's Ashley... no sweetie, everything's fine. Him, Brandon and Roger went to the music store over by the mall. I was wondering if you wanted to go out to lunch, just you and me?... great, I'll meet you at the diner on Crossbay Blvd in say an hour?... OK sweetie, I'll see you there... Bye." she said before hanging up the phone. Ashley wanted to talk to Chloe. He wanted to be there for her. She was in Chloe's shoes 25 years earlier and knew what she was going through now. She began to get ready for her lunch date with Chloe. She left the house and began going to the diner. When she walked in, Chloe was already there.

"Hi Ashley." Chloe said smiling at her.

"Hi sweetie." Ashley said sitting down at the table.

"I know why you wanted to meet me here." Chloe said smiling at her.

"You do?" she asked surprised.

"You're worried about me being involved with Matt with him being positive. Matt said you might want to talk to me and I really appreciate it, but I know what I'm getting into. I love Matt and we're careful, I promise." she said looking over at her.

"Well, I'm glad you're being careful. I mean, 25 years ago I was in your shoes. But I'm a nurse, so I knew what I was getting into. I just fell in love with Roger so quickly. It was so easy to fall in love with him. And I don't mean because of his boyish good looks or those green eyes either. He was charming and honest and the sweetest, most gentle man I have ever met in my life. I mean, he worshipped me, you know. And I know Matt is just like his father. And trust me sweetie, that's not a bad thing." she said smiling at her.

"I know. Matt envies you guys. He always says how great it is, the way you guys seem to breathe for each other. He idolizes you guys." Chloe told her smiling at her.

"He does?" Ashley asked surprised.

"Oh yeah. He's always saying how lucky he is that you two adopted him." she said smiling at her.

"We feel the same way sweetie. I mean, when we first talked about adopting a baby, Roger wasn't sure about adopting an HIV positive baby, but then when he thought about it, he liked the idea. Then from the minute we met Matt, he was ours. The day we were picking him up from the hospital, I was so nervous, but not Roger. He was so excited. Poor Collins, I made him crazy that day." she said laughing.

"Yeah, but you were always his Babygirl." Chloe said smiling at her.

"Yeah I was. From the minute I met him. He was the greatest man. He was our big brother, you know? I wish you got to know him better. There was nothing he wouldn't do for anyone." she said fighting back tears.

"You all miss him so much, don't you?" Chloe asked reaching over to touch Ashley hand.

"Very much. But that's the hazards of being in our family. I'm just worried that you're gonna have to watch Matt die one day. I've known that I was gonna lose Roger and Matt for many years now and it's still not easy for me. I don't want you to go through the same thing." Ashley said taking her hand in hers.

"I know Ashley. But I love Matt and any time I have with him, I'll take." she said fighting her own tears now.

"I know the feeling sweetie. You have a good man, you know?" she said smiling at her.

"I know. He's like his dad." she said smiling back.

"That he is." Ashley agreed.

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"Hey Baby, where'd you go?" Roger asked sitting on the couch putting new strings on his guitar.

"I went out to lunch with Chloe." she said leaning down to kiss him.

"Oh? Is everything OK?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just called her and we talked." he said looking down at him.

"Is she OK?" he asked as she sat down.

"Yeah, she's OK. I just wanted to talk to her and let her know she has someone to talk to if she needs to who is in the same boat as she's in. Did you know Matt envies us?" Ashley said smiling at him.

"Really?" he asked smiling at her.

"Yeah, the way we breathe for one another." she said moving closer to him.

"From the first night I met you, you had me Ash. You know that, right?" he asked putting his arms around her.

"And you had me." she whispered leaning over to kiss him.

"I know Ash Baby." he said caressing her face.

"I always loved you calling me that." she said smiling up at him.

"Well you're my Ash Baby. Do you remember when you used to meet me at the club before I went on?" he asked smiling at her.

"My heart used to pound so hard as I was approaching the corner and then I'd see you outside smoking your cigarette and you used to call me Ash Baby and I'd run to you and you'd pick me up in your arms." she said as they leaned back on the couch as Roger held her in his arms.

"And we used to run all of our friends off." he remembered laughing.

"Yeah, now we run the boys and their friends off." she said laughing as she looked up at him.

"Yeah well, we're still us even after all this time." he said kissing her head.

"Yes we are. We'll always be us." she said laughing.

"I love you Ash Baby." he said quietly as she looked up at him.

"I love you too Roger. Forever." she said leaning up to kiss him again.

"Hey mom. Oh man, get a room." Matt said entering the living room.

"Why? It's so much fun freaking you guys out." Roger joked as he and Ashley laughed.

"Yeah, you're good at that." he said laughing as Roger and Ashley looked up at him.

"What is it sweetie?" Ashley said smiling at him.

"Thanks for taking Chloe out for lunch. She said she had a really nice talk with you." he said smiling at her.

"Well I know how much you two love each other and I just wanted to get to know her." she said smiling up at him.

"And you wanted her to know if she ever needed someone to talk to about me, that she could always come to you. Thanks mom, that means a lot to her." he said smiling at her.

"Well, we're in a very difficult position. I mean, I have your Uncle Mark, Aunt Kelly, Aunt Jo and Aunt Maureen to talk to about dad. I just wanted to make sure Chloe knew she wasn't alone. If she's important to my little boy, she's important to me." she said looking up at him.

"I know mom. Thanks." he said leaning down to hug her.

"No problem sweetie. And I mean it, OK? You tell her she can come to me at anytime about anything." Ashley said caressing his cheek.

"I love you mom." he said kissing her cheek.

"Oh Matty, I love you too. So much." she said smiling at him.


	49. Chapter 49

"Chloe, what's the matter sweetie?" Ashley asked opening the door.

"Hi Ashley, can I come in?" she asked quietly with tears in her eyes.

"Sure sweetie. Is everything OK? Are you OK?" Ashley asked opening the door wider to let her in.

"I think Matt's gonna ask me to marry him tonight. He wants to take me out to dinner and he said to wear something nice." she said as tears sprung to her eyes.

"Sweetie, that's great. You love Matt. So what's wrong?" she asked sympathetically.

"I don't know, I'm scared." she said starting to cry as she sat on the couch.

"I know sweetie. It's OK to be scared you know." Ashley said holding her in her arms.

"Were you scared when Roger asked you to marry him?" she asked looking up at her.

"No sweetie, I wasn't. But I knew I wanted to be with Roger from that first night we met." Ashley said smiling at her.

"When you picked him up in the club, right?" she asked starting to laugh.

"Yeah, I guess so." she said laughing with her. "I'd been going to see him play for 2 months before I got the nerve up to talk to him. Poor Kelly, all she heard about for that 2 months was the hot lead singer at the club. I dragged her there every week just to see Roger. Then when I did talk to him we talked for 2 hours that night and we didn't even kiss." Ashley said smiling at the memory.

"But you wrote your phone number on his hand that night and he called you the next day and you guys have been together ever since." Chloe said looking over at her.

"Yeah we have been. And look at us. I mean, we have 2 amazing boys and an amazing life together. You and Matt deserve that too." she said smiling at her.

"I know. I'm just scared of losing him." Chloe said wiping her eyes.

"You can't think about that. If I thought about that when Roger and I got together, I wouldn't have the greatest life a woman could ask for. I mean, it's not easy knowing that I'm gonna lose the loves of my life, but I wouldn't trade a minute of being with them for anything in the world. No one could love those boys the way I do and no one could love me the way they do." Ashley said playing with Chloe's hair.

"I know, and I love Matt. I really do. I just don't want to lose him." she said looking up at her.

"So say yes when he asks you and savor every moment with him." Ashley said smiling at her.

"I will. Thanks Ashley. You're the best." she said hugging her.

"Don't worry about it sweetie. That's what I'm here for." Ashley said hugging her back.

"Where are the boys?" Chloe asked looking up at her.

"They went to the planetarium. Roger wanted to take Brandon to the Pink Floyd laser light show and Matty tagged along." she told her laughing.

"That's cute. I like the way Matt's still close with you guys." Chloe said wiping her nose with a napkin from her pocket.

"Him and Roger have always been extremely close. Did you know that Roger used to play on the floor with Matt everyday for hours and hours on end?" Ashley told her smiling.

"Really? That's nice." Chloe said laughing.

"Yeah, they used to play with legos and cars. You can't imagine how many pictures of the two of them I have. Everyone used to think Roger never let me near Matty because there aren't that many pictures of me with him when he was really little. But I liked watching my boys together." Ashley said smiling at her.

"Matt's always saying how cool Roger is." Chloe said smiling at her.

"Yeah, that's my Roger. The super cool dad. Did you know Matty had a Motley Crue t-shirt when he was a baby? Roger tried to put it on him for his first birthday party. I always had to keep an eye on Roger when it came to dressing Matt. He always wanted to dress him like he dressed himself and we all know how bad Roger is at dressing himself. They were inseperable. They still are as you can tell." Ashley told her laughing.

"I've noticed. But I like it. I think it's great. Usually guys try so hard not to be like their dads, but not Matty. He tries to be just like his dad." she told her smiling.

"He could do worse." Ashley said smiling up at all the pictures hanging in the living room of Roger and the boys.

"He sure could." Chloe agreed smiling at her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ash Baby, are you OK?" Roger asked walking into the bedroom.

"Yeah, I'm OK. Chloe came by to see me today." she said looking up at him.

"Really? Is everything OK?" he asked putting his arms around he.

"She thinks Matt's gonna ask her to marry him tonight." she said smiling up at him.

"He is." Roger said smiling at her.

"Really?" she asked looking up at him with tears in her eyes.

"He loves her Ash, he wants to spend the time he has left with her." he whispered wiping her tears with his thumb.

"I know. I mean, Chloe's a really great girl and she really loves him. I just can't believe my little boy is getting engaged." she said crying.

"He's grown into a good man, Ash." he told her smiling at her.

"I know. I'm just not ready for him to grow up." she said as he held her to his chest.

"Me neither Ash, but it's happening whether we're ready or not." he said kissing her head.

"Do you think they'll be OK? I mean, like us?" she asked looking up at him.

"If Chloe loves our son half as much as you love his father, he is gonna be one lucky man." he said leaning down to kiss her.


	50. Chapter 50

"Mom, do you have to choke me?" Matt complained as Ashley with his tie.

"You sound just like your dad did the day him and your mom got married." Mark told him laughing.

"Was dad nervous when on his and mom's wedding day?" Matt asked looking down at him.

"You wouldn't believe how nervous he was. Not of marrying your mom, but of leaving her." he told him sitting at Matt's desk as he remembered that New Years Eve.

"Really? I never knew that." Ashley said looking at him.

"Yeah, and then to lighten the mood Collins told him if he punked out on marrying you, he was fully prepared to." Mark laughed looking up at Ashley.

"That was Collins." she laughed remembering Collins.

"Were you nervous mom?" Matt asked looking down at her.

"I was terrified. I wanted so badly to give him a good life." she said looking up at him.

"You've given me the greatest life a man could ever ask for." Roger told her from the doorway.

"I tried to." Ashley said looking up at him.

"Ash Baby, you are the greatest wife and mother me and my boys could have ever asked for." he said approaching her.

"He's right mom. You loving us has made us who we are." Matt said as Ashley looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"Roger Matthew Davis. Both of you. You are who you are because you are good men. And Brandon Thomas Davis, you are growing into a good man because that's who you are. That has nothing to do with me. All I do is love my boys. My men." she said beginning to cry as Roger held her close.

"Ash Baby, we love you too." he whispered kissing her head.

"We all do Ash. You've changed this family so much." Mark said smiling up at her.

"And now it's Matty's turn. Him and Chloe. Speaking of which, we have to finish getting ready. Otherwise, they'll never get married." Ashley said smiling up at Matt as she wiped her eyes.

"Why don't you go wash your face Baby? I'll finish helping my boys get ready." Roger told her kissing her head.

"Thank you Baby." she said leaving the room and going into hers and Roger's room. As she stood in the bathroom, she looked at herself in the mirror. There she stood 49 years old and about to watch her oldest son get married. She began thinking about the night he became a part of their family.

_22 Years earlier_

"_Are you ready Baby?" Roger asked as they sat outside in the car._

"_Yeah, I'm ready." she told him smiling up at him as he opened the car door and reached into the back seat to get the baby out of his carseat._

"_Come on buddy. Let's go meet your family." Roger said holding his son in his arms._

"_Roger, wait." Ashley said standing on the sidewalk outside the McCoy house._

"_What's the matter Baby?" he asked looking down at her._

"_I just want to look at my boys one more time before the circus starts." she said smiling up at them._

"_We love you Ash." he told her leaning down to kiss her._

"_I love you guys too." she said caressing their cheeks before continuing on into the house._

"_Here he is. Roger Matthew Davis Jr." Roger announced as they entered the house._

"_He is gorgeous you guys." Mrs. Davis said as everyone rushed over to see the baby._

"_Do you wanna hold your grandson, mom?" Roger asked smiling at her._

"_Can I?" she asked with tears in her eyes._

"_Of course, he's a part of the family." Ashley told her smiling._

"_He is beautiful." Mrs. McCoy said standing over Mrs. Davis._

"_He is, isn't he?" Roger told them putting his arms around Ashley._

"_He really is." Mark told them smiling at him._

"_I'm so happy for you guys. Wow, this is big." Maureen said hugging Ashley as she watched her mother and mother in law with her son._

"_Yeah it is. Roger and I are officially someone's mom and dad." she told her smiling at them._

"_You guys deserve this so much." Kelly said hugging them._

"_Thanks." Ashley said smiling up at Roger. As she watched everyone get to know little Roger Matthew Davis Jr. she couldn't get over how quickly he took to everyone. He was a very happy baby. He began giggling almost instantly. He was passed around to everyone in the room while Roger and Ashley looked on smiling at them._

"_OK, can I have my son please? I think he probably needs to be changed." Roger asked leaning down to take him from Adam._

"_Oh come on. I can change him for you Rog." he told him smiling up at him._

"_Nah, I'll do it. Come on buddy, let's go." Roger told him smiling at his son._

"_OK Rog." Adam told him smiling at Ashley._

"_He really loves that boy, doesn't he?" Michelle asked looking up at Ashley._

"_Yeah, he does. He's his father." she told him sitting on the couch next to Jessica._

"_And your his mother." she said putting her arms around her._

"_I'm someone's mother now." she said leaning her head into her sisters._

"_Yeah you are sweetie." Jessica said laughing as she kissed her younger sisters head._

"_What are you gonna do about work?" Mr. Davis asked drinking his soda._

"_Well I'm taking some time off to spend time with Roger Jr and then I'm gonna be transferred to the hospital around here. I wanna work with HIV positive babies." she told them smiling at them._

"_Ash that's great." Kelly told her smiling at her._

"_It's only gonna be part time though. When Roger gets out of work, I'm gonna go in for a few hours a few nights a week. I'm still gonna be working at the clinic in the city on Roger's days off. I don't want to leave there completely." she said as Roger and Roger Jr. came back into the room._

"_Yeah, my wife the AIDS activist." Roger said handing the baby to her._

"_Not an activist. I just think the work is important and I enjoy it." she told him as he leaned down to kiss her._

"_It is important Ash." Michelle told her as Adam put his arms around her._

"_Well I became a nurse to help people and that's what I want to do." she told them kissing Roger Jr's head._

"_You do help people Baby. You're helping me and Roger Jr. here." Roger said kissing her head._

"_You two are helping me too, you know." she said as everyone smiled at them._

"_And you guys have helped all of us." Collins said wiping his eyes as everyone nodded._

"_You guys really have, you know." Michelle told them as Adam held her closer kissing her head._

"_I would like to propose a toast." Maureen called out holding up her iced tea._

"_This should be interesting." Joanne said smiling at her as everyone laughed._

"_Oh quit it." Maureen said laughing as she smiled at Roger and Ashley. "I would like to propose a toast to Roger, Ashley and their beautiful son. He is one lucky boy to have them want to be his parents." she told them as Roger smiled at her._

"_Thanks Maureen. That was beautiful." Ashley told her smiling at Roger and the baby._

"_I better go feed him. It's getting late." Roger told her taking the baby from her._

"_Roger can I feed him? Please." Michelle asked smiling at Adam._

"_Do you know how to feed a baby?" Roger asked getting up to get the baby's bottle warmed up._

"_Roger, I'm not an idiot. I know how to feed a baby." she told him smiling up at him as he handed her the baby to hold so he could put the water on._

"_Well you know you can't lay him all the way down, right?" he asked taking the bottle out of the fridge._

"_Yes Roger, I know. Since when do you know so much about babies?" she asked rocking her nephew in her arms._

"_Ashley, the hospital, books. I've been doing my research." he told her smiling at his son._

"_This is really great Roger. Everyone is so happy for you and Ash and Roger Jr. over here." she said smiling down at her nephew._

"_Roger Jr., we have to come up with something better to call him." Roger told her smiling as the water began to boil._

"_How about RJ?" she asked smiling at him._

"_I don't know. I was thinking of calling him Matt. You know for his middle name?" he asked smiling at her._

"_Matt. I like it." Ashley told him from the doorway of the kitchen._

"_Hey Baby. Michelle and I were just talking about things to call Roger Jr. What do you like better, RJ or Matt?" he asked putting the baby's bottle in the water._

"_I like Matt. He looks like a Matt, doesn't he?" she said smiling down at her son._

"_Matt it is." he told her kissing her head before directing his attention to the baby's bottle._

"Ash Baby, are almost ready?" Roger asked coming into their bathroom. "Ash, are you OK?" he asked seeing that she was crying again.

"Yeah, I was just thinking about the day we brought Matt home. It seems like on ly yesterday, huh?" she asked wiping her eyes as he took her into his arms.

"Yeah, the time goes by so fast, doesn't it?" he asked holding her tight.

"Too fast. Now he's getting married and then Brandon'll be growing up and going off on his own..." she started before he interupted her.

"I know Baby. We have a couple of great boys, don't we?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah we do. Thank you Roger. For all of it." she said smiling up at him.

"You're the one responsible for what we have. You talked to me at the club that night, you're the one who wanted to adopt Matty, even when I was scared to death of having an HIV positive baby, you're the one that came up with a way for us to have Brandon. Ash Baby, you are the heart of this family. Me and those boys wouldn't be here without you." he told her as tears sprang to his eyes.

"Well, before you and those boys, I had nothing. So I guess we're even." she said reaching up to caress his face.

"I love you Ashley Marie Davis." Roger whispered smiling down at her.

"I love you so very much Roger Matthew Davis." she said leaning up to kiss him.


	51. Chapter 51

"Roger, are you home?" Ashley called out as she entered the house. She went into the living room and saw Roger on the couch looking through a photo album. "Roger, what are you doing?" she asked taking her pocket book off of her shoulder as she went over to him.

"I'm just looking at some old pictures." he said looking up at her. He had tears in his eyes.

"Are you OK Baby?" she asked sitting next to him to see what he was looking at. They were pictures of him, Collins, Angel and Mimi that Mark had taken. "You miss them, don't you?" she asked quietly taking his hand in hers.

"I'm the only one left. Me and Matty." he said leaning towards her as he began to cry.

"Roger, stop that. You're not going anywhere. Not yet." she said looking up at him.

"Baby, my t-cells are low." he told her quietly as she wrapped her arms around him.

"No. Roger, no." she said looking down at him in disbelief.

"Yeah Ash." he said as she got up from the couch.

"This is not happening. Tell me this is not happening." she insisted trying not to cry.

"Ash Baby, I'm sorry." he said getting up to go to her.

"No. Roger don't say that. This is not happening." she yelled pulling away from him beginning to cry.

"Ash I'm sorry." he said reaching out for her.

"Roger, don't say that. Stop saying that." she yelled as he pulled her close to him.

"Ash, it's OK. I'm OK." he whispered as she cried hard into his chest.

"How can you say you're OK? Roger your t-cells are low. Is it AIDS?" she asked looking up at him.

"Not yet. But it won't be long Baby." he told her with tears in his eyes.

"Oh my God Roger." she said crying into his chest again as he held her tight.

"I'm OK Ash. You have given me a great life and 2 great boys." she said kissing her head.

"Roger, what are we gonna tell the boys?" she asked pulling away from him.

"The truth. We have to." he said looking over at her.

"They're gonna be devastated." she said looking at him.

"I know. But they always knew this day would come. Brandon holds his breath every time I have a doctors appointment." he said wiping his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Roger." she said going to him, wrapping her arms around him.

"Don't be Ash Baby. I've had a great life with you and my boys." he said as they held each other tight.

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"Mom, dad what's this about?" Matt asked as he, Chloe, Brandon, Roger and Ashley sat at the dinner table.

"We wanted to talk to you guys about something." Roger said as Ashley took his hand.

"You're sick, aren't you?" Brandon asked looking up at Roger.

"Yeah. My t-cells are low." he said bluntly.

"How low dad?" Matt asked as Brandon looked down.

"Pretty low Matt." he said as Ashley held back tears.

"How long do you have dad?" Matt asked as Brandon got up from the table.

"Nice question Matt." he yelled before rushing up the stairs and slamming his bedroom door.

"I'm sorry mom, I didn't..." Matt started before Roger cut him off.

"Don't worry Matt. It's a valid question." he said looking over at Ashley who was holding back tears.

"I should go talk to him." she said without looking at him.

"No, I should go." Matt said looking over at them.

"Are you sure?" Ashley asked looking up at him.

"Yeah mom. I got him." he said looking over at Chloe. "Are you OK Baby?" he asked looking at her.

"Yeah, I'm OK. Go to Brand. He needs you." she said as he leaned over to kiss her head before going up to Brandon's room.

"Brand, dude I'm coming in, OK? Don't shoot." he called out knocking on the door before opening it.

"What do you want Matt?" he asked laying on his bed.

"I'm sorry Brand. I shouldn't have asked that question." he said sitting on Brandon's bed.

"Matty, dad's really gonna die soon, isn't he?" Brandon asked looking up at him with tears in his eyes.

"Yeah, he is Brand." Matt said as Brandon sat up to hug his brother.

"It's OK little man, let it out." Matt said as his younger brother cried into his shoulder.

"Why did they have to have me? They knew he was gonna die on us." he said angrily looking up at him.

"They had you because they love each other and wanted to love you too. Just like they adopted me because they wanted to love me." he said looking down at him. "You know Brand. I remember the day you were born. You were giving her morning sickness and kicking the crap out of her ribs and stuff and I asked her how it was when she was having me. They didn't answer me at first. They were taking me to school because mom had a doctors appointment, so I didn't think anything of it. Then that night after dinner they asked me to come into their room in the old apartment and they told me I was adopted. They said my real mom was sick and couldn't take care of me. They told me that they picked me and even though I didn't come out of mom, they loved me as much as they loved you. Then dad took me out for ice cream and mom stayed home. Grandpa had to come and find us because mom went into labor with you and she called grandma. We all went to the hospital because I didn't want to leave mom. I saw you and mom right after you were born. Mom was amazing. She's a real strong lady Brand. She's gonna take care of all of us, just like she always did." he explained looking down at him.

"Yeah, dad loves his ice cream." Brandon said laughing a little.

"I remember how dad was when you were born. He used to watch you sleep all the time and wake you up in the morning so he could feed you before he took me to school. Mom used to yell at him all the time for doing it." Matt told him laughing.

"Matt, do you think mom's gonna be OK?" he asked looking up at him.

"No, I don't. Not at first, but she's gonna have us, grandma and grandpa, Uncle Mark and Aunt Kelly, Aunt Mo and Aunt Jo. She's not gonna be alone." he said looking down at him.

"I'm sorry Matty." he said looking up at him.

"Me too dude." he said looking over at him with tears in his eyes.

"I should go back down. Dad probably thinks I'm mad at him." he said wiping his eyes.

"He loves us Brand. You know that, right?" Matt said wiping his own eyes.

"Yeah I do. I just don't wanna lose him yet." Brandon told him looking down at his hands.

"I know little man." Matt said putting his arms around his brother again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Dad, tell me about the first time you sung mom her song?" Brandon asked sitting in the living room holding his notebook.

"I've told you that story a million times, dude. Why do you wanna hear it again?" Roger asked smiling over at him.

"I don't know. I like that story." he said smiling up at him.

"OK, well your mom and I had only been dating a week but I had started on the song the night I met her. I couldn't sleep much that night when I got home because I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was beautiful and funny and she got the Bon Jovi song Livin on a Prayer stuck in my head, so I was fiddling around with that song while was writing her song. I started seeing her every day that week for lunch except for that friday because I had to work early at the bar because I was performing that night. I missed her so much. When she came with Uncle Mark and Aunt Kelly, she looked so beautiful. She was wearing a pink tanktop and black jeans and my leather jacket. No one's ever worn my leather jacket before, but here your mom was. Coming around the corner and she was wearing it. She looked so beautiful. And she was with me. I felt like the luckiest guy in the world." Roger said smiling over at his son.

"Did you know you loved mom then?" Brandon asked listening intently.

"I knew I was falling for her, yeah. I couldn't help it. She was the most amazing woman I had ever met." he told him looking up at the pictures of him and Ashley that were hanging on the walls remembering that night.

_27 Years earlier_

"_Ash, Baby." Roger said throwing his cigarette down as he saw her._

"_Roger." she said jumping in his arms._

"_I missed you today, Baby." he said kissing her as he picked her up._

"_I missed you too. So much." she said holding him tight._

"_Is that my jacket?" he asked looking at her smiling._

"_Yeah, I was trying it on in your room and Mark said that he didn't think you'd mind if I..." she began to explain before he pressed his lips to her._

"_I don't mind. It looks really good on you." he said smiling at her._

"_Thanks. It's a little big on me, but I love it. It feels like your arms are around me." she said smiling back at him._

"_We don't go on for another hour. What are you doing here so early?" he asked putting her down."Not that I'm complaining." he said with his arms still around her waist._

"_I couldn't wait to see you, so I started getting ready when we got to your place." she said smiling up at him._

"_Well I'm glad. We just finished up with sound check, so we can hang out until I go on." he said leaning down to kiss her again._

"_Great. So I have you all to myself until you have to get up there and have every girl in the room drool over you." she said smiling up at him._

"_Well, you're the only girl I'll be singing to." he said taking her face in his hands and kissing her._

"_I like the sound of that." she said kissing him._

"_Can we go inside guys? I could use a drink." Kelly said smiling at them._

"_Oh, sorry guys." Ashley said as she and Roger continued to hold each other._

"_That's OK. You guys are cute." she said smiling at them as they went inside._

"_Come on. You can buy me a beer like you did when we first met." Ashley said smiling up at him._

"_I would love to." he said kissing her before they went inside._

"_Hey Davis, is this the famous Ashley?" Terry asked looking at them as they entered the bar._

"_Yeah. Ash, I want you to meet Terry. He's our bassist." Roger said with his arm still around her back._

"_Hi Terry. It's nice to meet you." Ashley said smiling at him._

"_You weren't kidding, Davis. She's gorgeous." Terry said as Roger leaned down to bury his face in her hair in embarrasment._

"_You said I was gorgeous?" she said turning to him laughing._

"_Thanks for that Terry." he said holding her closer._

"_You are so sweet, Roger." Ashley said patting him on the head._

"_Well you are." he said in his own defense._

"_Come on. You can meet the other guys." he said as he grabbed the beers off of the bar and led her to _

_the stage area where the other band members were._

"_Cool." she said smiling back at Kelly as she followed Roger holding his hand._

"_This is Wylie, Dustin and Andrew. Wylie and Dustin are boyfriends, so if they start making out. Don't freak out." he said laughing._

"_Very funny Davis." Wylie said looking over at Dustin._

"_Guys, this is Ashley. My girlfriend." Roger said with his arms around her._

"_Even I think she's hot Rog." Dustin said smiling at her._

"_Thanks man." Roger said looking down at her kissing her head._

"_Hey Rog, you better not be trying to keep her all to yourself tonight." Collins said approaching the _

_stage._

"_Hi Collins." Ashley said leaping down off of the stage to hug him._

"_How's my Babygirl?" he asked smiling at her._

"_I'm good." she said smiling back._

"_Hey Collins, do you mind? My girl." Roger said hopping off of the stage to greet him._

"_Sorry man. She is just irresistable." Collins told him still hugging her._

"_But you're gay. Now let go of my girl." he told him laughing as he swept her into his arms._

"_Sorry man. When I look at Ash, I forget sometimes." Collins said laughing along._

"_You two are sick." she said holding Roger._

"_Yeah, well you'll get used to us." Roger said kissing her head._

"_Davis, we're almost on." Terry told him laughing at the banter between Roger and Collins._

"_Hey Terry. How you been?" Collins asked shaking his hand._

"_Good Col, we missed you last week." he told him laughing._

"_Yeah me too. I had computer trouble at work and I had to take care of it." he told him smiling._

"_I gotta go Baby. But remember, I'm singing for you." Roger said leaning down to kiss Ashley before he went on stage._

"_I know. Good luck." she said smiling at him._

"_Thanks." he said climbing on stage and strapping on his guitar and Ashley took her place in front of the stage with the others._

"_Good evening. I am proud to introduce The Boho Knights." the owner of the bar said as the crowd exploded into applause._

"_Thanks Steve. We have a great show for you tonight, so let's get on with the music." Roger said _

_winking at Ashley before the band started to play._

"_Doesn't he look amazing?" Ashley shouted at Collins, who was standing next to her._

"_He sure does Babygirl." he said smiling at her. They played their usual stuff. Ashley sung along and cheered him on._

"_Now for our last song, I'm gonna slow it down a bit. I wrote this song last weekend for my girl Ashley. I hope she likes it. It's called I'm With You." he said winking at her before starting the intro to his song._

_Starlight and Wonder_

_The universe seen through your eyes_

_The moon is a glorious halo_

_Hanging high over your head every night_

_Spinning and spinning_

_A flick of the wrist and a smile_

_And in the morning so early_

_Deep conversations are spoken in tongues by sunlight_

_Tonight, you can drean you're a star_

_You can walk on the clouds_

_And float to the ground_

_And I'm with you_

_Tonight you can get very far_

_The calm and the storm, are forever yours_

_And I'm with you_

_We stare out the window_

_And look to the sky every night_

_The stars ar the beacons of heaven_

_and maybe one day you'll go up for a ride_

_Oh you are the sunshine_

_you are the face that I dream of_

_You are your mother's religion, down on her knees as she kisses your heartache away_

_I've thrown coins in the fountain_

_I've been to the mountain_

_I've lived through the violence_

_I've seen what man can do to man can do to man_

_I can't promise you peace_

_I can't promise you money But I promise to make you the best man I can_

_Hold on to something_

_'cause you life's about to begin_

_As he finished his song, the crowd erupted into cheers. "Ash, are you OK?" Collins asked looking down at her. She was crying._

"_Yeah, it's just the most beautiful song I have ever heard." she said crying as Roger took his guitar off and hopped off stage to go to her._

"_Are you OK Baby?" he asked holding her in his arms._

"_That was the most beautiful song I have ever heard." she told him holding him tight._

"_It's yours. I wrote it for you." he said kissing her neck._

"_I love it. You are so amazing." she said crying into his neck._

"_You inspire me." he told her still holding her tight._

"_How did I get so lucky to get a guy like you to write me the most beautiful song ever written?" she asked gaining her composure._

"_You said hi." he said laughing as he let her down and looked at her._

"_Well, good thing I did." she said kissing him._

"Dad, are you OK?" Brandon asked looking over at his father who looked deep in thought.

"Yeah, um sorry." he said as a tear came to his eye.

"You're gonna miss mom, aren't you?" Brandon asked looking over at Roger.

"You have no idea." he said beginning to cry.

"I'm sorry dad..." he started as he got up to go to Roger.

"No, I'm sorry Brandon. You're only 14 and I'm not being fair to you." he said reaching out to hug his son.

"Dad, it's OK. I know you love me." he said starting to cry.

"I do love you Brandon. I love you, your mom and your brother so much." he said holding his son tight.

"Dad, everything's gonna be OK. Me, Matty and Chloe'll take care of mom. We won't let you down." he said looking up at him.

"Brandon, you and your brother have never let me down. You never could. You guys are the greatest sons I could have ever asked for." Roger said smiling at him.

"That's because we have the greatest parents in the world." he said smiling at him as Roger smiled back.


	52. Chapter 52

"Ash Baby, are you OK?'" Roger asked as he heard Ashley crying in the bedroom.

"Roger, I didn't hear you come in. How long have you been home?" she asked sitting up in the bed wiping her eyes.

"Long enough to see my girl's upset. What's the matter Ash?" he asked putting his arms around her to hold her close to him.

"I've just been thinking about things." she said leaning into him close.

"I love you Ash." he said kissing her head.

"Roger, after all these years that is the one thing I have never had to think about. I always knew it. You made sure I did." she said smiling up at him.

"Ash, do you remember when we moved in here?" he asked laying back in the bed as she laid her head on his chest.

"Oh yeah. Collins and Mark almost killed us." she remembered laughing.

_14 years earlier_

"_No Marky, that goes up in the baby's room." Ashley said as he dropped the box labeled Brandon's room in the dining room._

"_If I have to carry another box into this house, I'm gonna blow it up." Mark complained as Roger and Collins carried the couch into the living room, placing it in the middle of the room and collapsing on it._

"_No, that goes over there. Come on guys, we're almost done." Ashley said looking down at them._

"_Babygirl, we been at this for 6 hours. Can we at least get a short beer break? Please." Collins begged looking up at her as he laid his head on the back of the couch._

"_Yeah Ash Baby, we're exhausted. I never realized what a slave driver you were" Roger laughed looking up at her._

"_OK, I guess my boys don't want ice cream later." she said picking up the box in front of Mark and bringing it upstairs to Brandon's room._

"_Who does she think she's dealing with, Matty?" Mark asked looking over at Roger and Collins._

"_Speak for yourself man. I want ice cream." Roger said getting up._

"_Yeah. Geez Mark." Collins agreed as they continued moving the furniture to where Ashley had directed them to._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I knew ice cream would work on my boys." she said laughing at him.

"It always did Baby." he smiled kissing her head.

"Roger, I wanna show you something." Ashley said getting up and going to the closet.

"What is it Baby?" he asked sitting up as he watched her dig through the box in the back of the closet.

"You'll see." she said continuing to rummage through the box. "Here it is." she said taking a pink spiral notebook out and smiling at it.

"What's that Ash?" he asked looking over at her.

"Do you remember when we started dating, I told you that the night we met, I was up writing because I couldn't sleep?" she asked smiling at him.

"Yeah." he said taking her hand.

"Well, this is my journal. I started this notebook the night we met. I wrote all about us in the beginning in this notebook. Up until you proposed to me." she answered smiling at him as she handed it to him.

"How come I never saw this before?" he asked holding it in his hand.

"I don't know. I put it away and forgot about it. I mean, I got the guy." she said smiling at him as she got back on the bed as he began reading.

_May 19_

_I talked to that hot lead singer tonight. Roger Davis. Just writing his name sends shivers up and down my spine. After his set tonight, I actually stayed and talked to him. He came up to the bar, like he always does and I said hi. I acted like I knew him and he bought me and Kel a drink and then we started talking. Oh my God, he is so incredible. He's beautiful, sweet and really funny. His green eyes had me melting the second I looked up at them. He tried to teach me how to play pool and I acted like I had no idea what I was doing just so he'd get close to me. I loved feeling his warm breath on my neck. I wanted to turn around and kiss him right there, but of course I couldn't. It took me 2 months to talk to him, it'll probably take me longer than that for me to work up the courage to kiss him. But he likes me. We were talking for like 2 hours and he told me he liked me. I can't believe Roger Davis likes me. He could have any girl in the club, but he likes me. He told me the story behind that song I like. The one about the girls eyes. He told me it's called Your Eyes. He said he wrote it for his ex girlfriend who left him last year. Stupid girl. He said she was a junkie and he was an ex junkie, and that's why it didn't work out. How could she choose drugs over him? He's such a great guy. I mean, I know just because he's hot it doesn't mean he's a good person or even a good boyfriend, but I talked to him tonight and he is such a nice guy. He said he made a lot of mistakes, but no one's perfect. It was cute, when I told him that I heard that he looked like Jon Bon Jovi. He was so flattered, but he is so much better looking than Jon Bon Jovi. And he has a better voice too. He told me he was HIV positive and he seemed really surprised that I didn't go running for the hills. But in my line of work, I see people everyday living with HIV and I know it's not a death sentence. It's also not a reason for me not to want to get to know him better. I like him and I don't want that to stand in the way of what could be happening with us. Kelly was talking to his roommate while I was talking to Roger. She said he's a filmmaker and he's really sweet. I'm glad, she deserves to meet a nice guy. Maybe she won't be so mad at me for dragging her out to a club every friday night for the last 2 months to see Roger. I hope Mark's a nice guy like Roger. I mean, I only talked to him for a second, but he's Roger's roommate, so he must be nice. I gave Roger my phone number. I was so myserious about it and everything. I wrote it on his hand in pen before jetting out the door with Kel. I felt stupid when I left, but hopefully he doesn't wash it off his hand. I really hope he calls me later. I wanna spend more time with him. I can't believe I can't get him out of my head. All I wanna do is stare into his beautiful green eyes forever. I hope he writes me a song. Hang on Ash, you're getting way ahead of yourself. You just talked to him tonight and it's not like he's your boyfriend or anything. Not yet. I can't wait to kiss him. His lips looks so soft and tender. He looks like he would such a passionate kisser. Ok, I gotta get Roger Davis out of my head or I'll never get to sleep and I have laundry to do while Kelly's at work. I hate laundry, but it's so worth it for Kelly to come to the club with me to see Roger._

_May 21_

_OH MY GOD!!! Roger kissed me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I'm Roger Davis' girlfriend. And we spent the whole night together. He was so sweet and awkward. Looking at him you would think he would be so suave and comfortable romancing women, but he's not. I mean the first kiss was so beautiful. I played it off and told him it was pretty good, but OH MY GOD I was freaking out. I did not want it to end. But the biggest thing was when we walked into the loft and heard a noise. Roger and I went to the Pink Floyd laser light show and made out through the whole thing, so when we got back we heard a noise and Roger thought it was a burglar, so he sent me into the kitchen so I would be safe, but it was Kelly and Mark. Oh my God, I couldn't believe it. She and Mark only started at the same time as me and Roger and they were in bed already. I know Roger and I aren't ready yet. I want to, but I don't want to rush him. I know he worries because I'm negative and he's afraid of hurting me. But he could never hurt me. Kel wanted to stay with Mark last night so me and Roger went up to the roof and he sung to me. He was singing Livin on a Prayer, which he said was my fault because he couldn't get it out of his head the night we met. I feel so comfortable with him, I actually sung with him. He said he liked my voice, but I could never do what he does. Sing in front of people. I get too embarrased. This morning we went to the Life Cafe for breakfast and I got to meet his other friends. Maureen and Joanne are really nice. Collins calls me Babygirl, I like that. He's so sweet. I can tell he's really protective of the people loves. It was a lot of fun. I feel so good when I'm with Roger. I called Roger to let him know me and Kel got home OK and we talked. I told him I wanted to spend the weekend with him in the loft next week and we're gonna go out to lunch tomorrow. I can't wait to see him again. He's so amazing. He gave me a pair of his sweats and his Pink Floyd t-shirt to change into after we got up this morning. The pants are huge on me, but I don't care. I like it that he wanted me to wear his clothes. And I felt so safe in his arms last night. I like waking up to him. I can't believe I'm saying this , but I can see myself falling for him. Which is not good because I've only known him for 3 days and it's not like me to fall for a guy so fast, but I'm falling for Roger. I know Kelly can see it and she probably thinks I'm nuts, but I don't care. Roger's different from every other guy I've ever known. He respects women and he respects me. When we fell asleep on the roof last night he told me he wasn't ready to go to the next level in our relationship and he was just happy holding me in his arms. I like being in his arms. He makes me feel like I'm the only woman that matters. I really have to get to bed or I'll never make it to work tomorrow and I don't want to miss my lunch with Roger. _

_May 28_

_Oh my God, this had to be the greatest weekend of my life. Friday night Roger sung me a song he wrote for me and it was the most beautiful song I had ever heard. It's called I'm With You and I cried as he sung it to me. I felt so stupid, but no one's ever wrote me a song before. After he sung the song to me we had a drink with his friends and then went back to the loft and had the most incredible first night together. He is so tender and so passionate. The way he holds me in his arms makes me feel like nothing will ever hurt me again. Waking up to him was more amazing then it was last week. Then we went to breakfast and ran into Collins, Maureen and Joanne, but they ran out of the diner because it appears Roger threatened them not to be around this weekend because he wanted to spend the whole weekend alone with me. Which was sweet, but I yelled at him because I know how important his frineds are to him and I want to get to know them. I don't want to take him away from them. They've been there for him through so much and they're a family to each other. He apologized and said he wouldn't do it again. He performed saturday night and sung my song again. And I cried again. I felt pathetic, but Roger thinks it's cute. So does Collins. Then yesterday when I had to come home, he came with me and slept here and me, him, Kel and Mark rode the train this morning to work. He sent me the most beautiful arrangement of pink flowers. The note was so sweet. He signed it My Love Roger. When he came to the clinic to pick me up for lunch he told me he loved me. I can't believe how fast this is going, but it feels right. No one has ever made me feel the way Roger does. I don't now what it is about him, but I am not scared at all when I'm with Roger. I can be myself with him and I'm Ok with it. He's coming to Queens to stay with me next weekend. I want to introduce him to my parents. I can't believe how in love with him I am. The more I fall for him, the more scared I get of losing him. I mean, I'm not scared to be with him, because I love being with him and he makes me feel safe, it's just that him having HIV isn't fair. I don't want to live my life afraid of losing him to this damn disease, but it's inevitable, you know? I'm gonna lose him eventually and it's not right. I wanna love him and make sure he doesn't die alone. I wanna give him everything he deserves in this life. Someone he loves and who loves him back. I'm not gonna think about the HIV right now. I'm just gonna live my life with him for as long as we have._

"Ash, I never knew you felt this way in the beginning." Roger said wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Which part?" she asked caressing his face.

"You being scared of losing me." he said closing the book and putting it on the nightstand.

"I was always scared of losing you. Especially now. I mean, we've had a great life together Roger, but I'm not ready." she said starting to cry.

"Ash Baby, you are my life. You and those boys. As long as you love me and you have them, you'll never lose me." he whispered holding her close as he cried with her.

"Yeah, but Matty..." she started before he interupted her.

"Ash, don't think about that. Please." he begged crying more.

"This is insane. I knew what I was getting into from the beginning. I can't sit here now and act like life's not fair." she said pulling away from him wiping her eyes.

"It's not fair Ash. We deserve more time. Everyone does." he said wiping his face.

"But Roger, we've had so many great years. More years than either of us thought we had. And we gave each other so much happiness. I should be grateful." she said crying as she looked up into his mesmerizing green eyes, that still had her after all these years.

"I am so grateful for you Ashley. Every minute with you has been the greatest gift I could have ever been given in my life." he said caressing her face as she leaned into his chest.

"I'm sorry Roger." she cried as he held her tight kissing her head.

"I'm not. Not even for a second." he whispered as they held each other.


	53. Chapter 53

"How are you doing Ash?" Kelly asked as she entered the kitchen where Ashley was washing some dishes.

"I'm OK." she said without looking up at her.

"Ashley Marie Davis, you forget that I've known you longer than anyone. I know you're not OK. You barely eat, you barely even leave this house unless it's with Roger and the boys. Talk to me. We're still best friends you know." Kelly said sitting at the counter.

"I know Kel, it's just that I can't talk about it." she said turning around to look at her.

"Ash, you have to talk to someone. You can't keep doing this to yourself. You're gonna explode one of these days." Kelly said quietly as she leaned on the counter.

"I have to be there for Roger and the boys. I'll have plenty of time to break down when Roger's gone." Ashley whispered holding back tears.

"But you're not alone Ash. We're a family. You did the same thing when Collins was sick and look what it almost did to you and Roger. You can talk to me and Mark you know." Kelly said getting up to go to her.

"I know. I just wanna concentrate on my time with him, you know? It's just not enough time." Ashley said starting to cry as Kelly wrapped her arms around her best friend.

"I know honey. Let it out." Kelly whispered holding back her own tears.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do without him Kel. Since the night we met, I didn't want to be without him." Ashley cried as she fell to the floor.

"You know, I remember the night you first saw him. You couldn't believe how beautiful he was. He's all you talked about. That hot lead singer." Kelly said looking down at her.

_28 years earlier_

"_Oh my God, Kel check it out." Ashley said sitting at the bar staring at the stage._

"_What's up Ash?" Kelly asked directing her attention to where Ashley was looking._

"_The lead singer." Ashley said as her eyes stayed glued to Roger._

"_Yeah, he's cute." Kelly said bringing her beer to her lips._

"_Cute? Are you kidding Kel? He's incredible." Ashley said smiling at him._

"_Are you OK Ash?" Kelly asked looking at Ashley._

"_Yeah, I'm fine. I have to talk to him." Ashley said still staring at him._

"_Yeah, right Ash. You're too shy to talk to a hot guy." Kelly said laughing as she continued to drink her beer._

"_I don't care how long it takes Kel. I'm gonna talk to him. I have to." she said smiling over at her._

"_Why do you have to?" Kelly asked confused._

"_I don't know. There's just something about him. I can't explain it." she said drinking her beer._

"_Yeah, the fact that he's a pretty boy with a nice caboose." Kelly told her laughing._

"_No, it's more than that Kel. I don't know, but mark my words. I am gonna talk to him." Ashley said directing her attention back to Roger._

"_Sure Ash." Kelly said laughing as they continued to listen to the band play._

"Yeah, I was pretty nuts back then, huh?" Ashley said laughing despite the fact that she was still crying.

"Not nuts. You felt a connection to him. Now look at you. You guys have been married for 28 years and you have 2 beautiful, incredible boys. You've given him a great life Ash." Kelly said smiling down at her.

"Too bad I couldn't take this damn disease out of him." she said as Kelly rocked her back and forth as she continued to cry.

"I know Ash. But he'll always be with you. The love you guys have for each other won't die just because one of you is gone." Kelly said kissing her best friends head.

"Kel, he gave me the greatest love a woman could ever have." Ashley said looking up at her.

"I know Ash. Me and Mark were so jealous of you guys in the beginning." Kelly said looking down at her.

"Jealous? Why? You guys moved faster than me and Roger then." Ashley asked wiping her eyes.

"Yeah sure, we slept together before you guys did, but you guys always had this connection that went beyond physical attraction. You knew you wanted to be together at all costs, you know? I mean, everytime you guys looked at each other sparks flew. That night at karaoke is probably the night I knew you guys were gonna be together forever." Kelly said smiling at her.

"Why?" Ashley asked smiling up at her.

"For one, he got you to sing in front of a bar full of people. We'd been going to saturday night karaoke for years and I could never get you up there and then the first night Roger goes with you, you're not only singing, but you're rocking the house. The 2 of you. It was the most amazing thing." Kelly said wiping her own eyes.

"_Come on Baby, pick a song. I wanna sing with my girl." Roger said handing Ashley a book._

"_Roger, I told you, I don't sing when I come here. I just watch." Ashley said looking up at him._

_  
"Ash, you have an awesome voice. Just sing to me. Trust me, you're gonna be amazing." he said smiling at her as he opened the book._

"_I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wanna sing with you." she said smiling up at him unable to resist his smile._

"_Yessss, that's my girl. And I know just the song too." he said rushing off to the DJ excitedly._

"_Where is he going?" Kelly asked approaching her with Mark following closely behind._

"_He's putting in a song for me and him to sing." she answered putting her head in her hands as she leaned on the bar._

"_You're kidding? Oh my God Ash. You must really love this guy if you're gonna sing with him." she said laughing._

"_He wants to sing with his girl." Ashley said smiling at her before taking a long swig of her beer. "I can't believe I'm doing this." she said as Roger came rushing over to her._

"_We're on next Baby." he said kissing her head._

"_Oh great. I can't believe you talked me into this." she said looking up at him._

"_Baby, you're gonna rock this place." he said smiling down at her as the music stopped._

"_And now we have Ashley and Roger singing a hard rock classic, Close My Eyes Forever." the DJ announced as Ashley looked up at Roger with fear in her eyes._

"_I can't do this Roger." she said as he wrapped his arms around her._

"_Ash Baby, just sing to me. I'm the only one here, OK? You're gonna be fine. I promise." he said kissing her head before they went to the stage._

"_I love you Roger." Ashley said taking the microphone off of the stand._

"_I love you too Ash. Remember, it's just you and me." he said leaning down to kiss her as the music started._

"_Baby, I get so scared inside and I don't really understand. Is it love that's on my mind or is it fantasy?" Ashley sung staring at Roger. She was petrified._

"_Heaven, is in the palm of my hand and it's waiting here for you. What am I supposed to do with a childhood tragedy? If I close my eyes forever. Will it all remain unchanged? If I close my eyes forever. Will it all remain the same? Sometimes, it's hard to hold on. So hard to hold on to my dreams. It isn't always what it seems when you're face to face with me." Roger sung right at her. The whole bar exploded. Ashley couldn't help but feel his energy._

"_It's like a dagger. It's sticks me in the heart. And taste the blood from my blade. And when we sleep, will you shelter me from your warm and darkened grave. If I close my eyes forever. Will it all remain unchanged? If I close my eyes forever. Will it all remain the same? Will you ever take me?" she sung with more energy._

"_No I just can't take the pain." he sung leaning into her._

"_Will you ever trust me?" she sung smiling at him._

"_No, I'll never feel the same. OH." he sung smiling back at her. As he guitar solo played he leaned over and kissed her caressing her face. "You're doing amazing Baby." he whispered as she nodded smiling up at him._

"_I know I've been so hard on you. I know I've told you lies. But if I could have just one more wish. I'd wipe the cobwebs from my eyes. If I close my eyes forever. Will it all remain unchanged? If I close my eyes forever. Will it all remain the same? I'm yours." she sung smiling at him._

"_Close your eyes. Close your eyes. You gotta close your eyes for me." he sung as the bar exploded into applause._

"_Roger and Ashley everyone. Wow. Lita and Ozzy have nothing on these two." the DJ said clapping at them._

"_Oh my God Ash. That was amazing." Roger said picking her up excitedly._

"_I was so scared. Good thing I know that song by heart. I couldn't take my eyes off of you." she said smiling at him as he leaned in to kiss her._

"_You guys were incredible Ash." Kelly said as Mark lowered his camera._

"_You really were Ash. Wow." he said smiling at him._

"_OK, now I wanna hear my guy do a song by himself." Ashley said as Roger put her down._

_  
"Anything you want Baby." he said smiling at her as she grabbed a book._

"_Anything?" she asked looking up at him._

"_Almost anything. Just no boy band stuff, OK?" he asked as she laughed._

"_I would never make you do a boy band song. Would you do Bon Jovi?" she asked flipping through the pages._

"_Now that I'll do for my girl. But I wanna hear you sing to me too. By yourself." he said leaning down to kiss her._

"_I wanna do it again." she said laughing._

"_Yeah?" he asked surprised._

"_Yeah I do. That was so much fun." she said smiling up at him._

"_Can I pick the song?" he asked looking down at her._

"_Yeah, I can't wait to see what you pick for me." she said excitedly as he looked at the book._

"_I have just the song." he said smiling at her._

"_I love you Roger." she said wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him deeper._

"_I love you so much Ash." he whispered holding her close to him._

"That was all him. I was petrified. I could barely hear the music at first. My heart was beating so loud in my ears. Hearing him sing centered me. He always made me feel safe. Like nothing could ever hurt me, you know?" she said looking up at her.

"I know sweetie. But he got you singing alone." Kelly said laughing.

"That he did. He gave me his energy and his passion for life." she said smiling as she remembered singing the song his picked out for her.

"_I don't know if I can do this Roger." Ashley said looking up at him._

"_Ash, remember, it's just you and me. No one else is here, OK? Just sing to me. I love you." he said leaning down to kiss her as she reached over to the microphone._

"_You and me, right. OK, I love you too Roger." she said smiling at him as she clutched the microphone as tightly as she could and the music started. "Never again. Isn't that what you said. You been through this before and you swore this time you'd think with your head. No one, would ever have you again. And if taking was gonna get done you'd decide where and when. Just when you think you think you got it down. Your heart securely tied and bound. They whisper promises in the dark." she sung as the music began to rock. "Armed and ready for love battles in the night. Too many opponents made you weary of the fight. Blinded by passion you foolishly let someone in. All the warnings went off in your head still you had to give in. Just when you think you got it down. Resistance nowhere to be found. They whisper promises in the dark. Promises, you know what they're for. They sound so convincing and you've heard it before. 'Cause talk is cheap and you gotta be sure. And so you put up your guard. And you try to be hard but your heart says try again." as the music break came on, Roger was rocking out enjoying listening to Ashley sing. He was smiling from ear to ear listening to his girl sing to him. She didn't notice it, but the rest of the bar had taken notice and they were rocking along. "You desperately search for a way to conquer the fear. No line of attack has been planned to fight back the tears. Brave and restless dreams are both won and lost. On the edge it seems it's well worth the cost. So when you think you got it down. Your heart in pieces on the ground. They whisper promises in the... dark." she sung as everyone exploded in cheers, but no one louder than Roger. As she replaced the microphone onto its stand, he swept her into his arms and kissed her passionately._

"_Ash Baby, that was the most amazing thing I've ever heard." he said smiling at her as he held her close._

"_Really?" she asked smiling at him._

"_You have no idea what you just did tonight Baby." he said picking her up._

"I'm sorry sweetie." Kelly said looking down at her.

"He's not dead yet Kel. I still have time with him. I just don't want to waste it all on dreading when he's gone." she said starting to get up.

"Ash, I know. But you can't keep trying to handle it all by yourself. You have us. We're a family, you know." Kelly said getting up.

"I know. Thanks Kel. I gotta go check on Roger. It's almost time for his medication." Ashley said starting upstairs.

"Ash, you're a strong woman, but needing to talk to someone does not make you weak." Kelly told her.

"I know Kel, I just need to be strong enough for Roger and the boys." she said without turning around as she continued up the stairs.


	54. Chapter 54

"Mom are you here?" Brandon called out as he entered the house. "Mom." he yelled seeing Ashley laying on the floor in the kitchen unconscious. "Dad, come quick. Something's wrong with mom." he yelled as Roger came down the stairs.

"Oh God, Ash Baby. What happened?" he asked rushing to Ashley's side.

"I don't know. I just came in from school and I saw her here." Brandon said looking up at Roger with tears in is eyes.

"Call 911 Brand. Hurry." he said taking his sweatshirt off and putting it under her head. "Ash. Ash Baby, wake up. Come on Baby." he whispered as Brandon spoke on the phone with the 911 operator.

"Yeah, she's unconscious on the floor... I don't know just send someone. Please." he yelled frustrated.

"Roger? Roger, what's going on?" Ashley asked starting to come to.

"Baby, you were unconscious. What happened?" he asked as she looked up at him.

"I don't know. I was feeling really dizzy and then I don't remember anything else." she said trying to get up.

"No, Ash, stay there. Brandon just called 911." he said holding her down.

"Roger, I'm fine. I have to make your soup." she said still trying to get up.

"Dammit Ashley, just go to the hospital and let them check you out. This is not normal." he told her frustrated caressing her face.

"Roger, I'm a nurse. I'm probably a little anemic. I just have to start taking vitamins." she said looking up at him.

"Ashley, please. I would feel better if you got checked out. For me." he said looking down at her.

"OK Roger. I'll go. But I'm fine. I just skipped breakfast. I'm fine." she said as he brought her head onto his lap. He knew it was something more than not eating enough that day. He knew she hadn't been eating enough for a while. She was so busy taking care of him and the boys, she had been neglecting herself.

"They said they'd be here soon. Mom, are you OK?" Brandon asked seeing that Ashley was conscious.

"Yeah, I'm fine baby boy. I just got light headed and fainted." she said looking up at him.

"I'm gonna call Matty. He'd want to be here." he told her getting up to the phone.

"Brandon, I'm fine. You don't need to call your brother." Ashley said looking up at him.

"Mom, I'm calling Matty. The ambulance will be here soon." Brandon said dialing Matt's phone number.

"I don't want him to call Matty. It'll worry him too much and I'm fine." Ashley said looking up at Roger.

"Ash Baby, he was scared. He came home from school and saw you laying on the floor unconscious. He's scared enough of me dying while he's in school and then he comes home and you're on the floor. He needs to know you're OK." Roger said caressing her hair.

"OK Roger. I hear you. I really do." she said as there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it dad. It's the ambulance. Matt's gonna meet us at the hospital." Brandon called out as Roger and Ashley just looked at each other.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Mrs. Davis, you need to take better care of yourself. You're anemic, you're suffering from dehydration and you are exhausted. Do you mind telling me what's going on in your life these days?" the doctor asked looking down at her as she laid in the bed.

"My husband has AIDS and I'm taking care of him and my sons. I guess I don't have much time to eat." she said looking up at him.

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Davis. That's a lot for one woman to handle. Have you been tested?" he asked sitting on the chair next to her bed.

"Yes, I get tested every couple of months. My husband and I have been together for 28 years and he's been positive for over 30 years." she said sitting up in the bed.

"When was the last time you were tested?" he asked looking over at her.

"A couple of months ago." she said looking at him. "Do you think I'm positive?" she asked concerned.

"We'll so some tests and have the results for you in a couple of days. In the mean time, I'm gonna give you some vitamins and we're rehydrating you with some saline. I want to keep you here tonight for observation and I think you really need the rest. Would you like me to send your husband and your sons in? They're waiting outside." the doctor said getting up.

"Can you just send my husband in alone first please?" he said looking up at him.

"OK. Try to rest Mrs. Davis." he said looking down at her.

"Thank you doctor." she said sitting up as she fixed the blanket over her.

"Ash Baby, are you OK?" Roger asked rushing into the room.

"Yeah, I'm fine Roger. I'm anemic and just dehydrated. I'll be OK." she said as he sat on the bed next to her.

"Are they doing an HIV test?" he asked taking her hand.

"Yeah. It should be back in a couple of days. I'm fine Roger. He's just giving me some vitamins and rehydrating me. He said I can go home tomorrow." she said as Roger started to cry.

"Ash, you scared the hell out of me." he said leaning down to her.

"I'm sorry Roger. I didn't mean to scare you." she said holding him in her arms.

"I can't lose you Ash. The boys can't lose you." he said as he laid his head on her shoulder.

"I know. How are you feeling?" she asked caressing his face.

"Ash, I'm fine. I'm taking care of you now." he said sitting up.

"I'm OK Roger." she said looking up at him wiping her eyes.

"Mom, are you OK?" Matt asked rushing into her room.

"Sorry dad, I couldn't hold him back." Brandon said as Matt rushed to Ashley's bed.

"Matty, I'm fine. I'm just anemic and a little dehydrated. I'm OK." she said as Matt sat on the edge of her bed.

"Mom, now will you let us help you?" he asked reaching out for her hand.

"Always your father's son." she said smiling at him as Roger stood by Brandon.

"Mom, I'm serious. You have to stop trying to do everything yourself. We can help you." Matt said as Roger put his hand on his sons shoulder.

"She's gonna be OK Matt." he said looking down at him.

"But dad, mom's always tried to be super mom and now it's catching up with her." Matt said getting up off of the bed.

"Roger Matthew Davis Jr., I've always taken care of this family and I'm not gonna stop now." Ashley said looking up at her son.

"Great, so we can bury you with dad, just like you want." he said rushing out of the room.

"Matt, wait." she said trying to go after him, but realizing she was attatched to an IV. "Roger, you have to go after him." she said looking up at Roger with tears in her eyes.

"I'll stay with mom. Go." Brandon said sitting on the bed next to Ashley.

"Thanks Brandon." he said leaving the room going after Matt.

"I'm not trying to kill myself Brandon." she cried into her hands as the 15 year old put his arms around his mother.

"I know mom. But you're no good to us if you don't take care of yourself." he said rocking her as she cried into his shoulder.

"We're all so scared of losing your father that I didn't even think myself. I'm so sorry Brandon." she cried as he caressed his mother's hair.

"I know mom. It's OK. Calm down, OK?" he said kissing her head.

"Roger Matthew Davis, what the hell was that?" Roger yelled as he saw Matt sitting on a bench outside the hospital.

"Dad, you see her. She's been doing this to herself for months. She's trying to kill herself so she can join you." Matt yelled back getting up to face Roger.

"That's not fair Matt. Your mom's trying to take care of this family like she always has while at the same time trying to deal with me dying. She's not trying to kill herself. It's not her style. She's too strong for that." Roger said as Matt looked at him.

"Yeah well, no one said she had to do it on her own." Matt said sitting down again starting to cry.

"Matt, do you remember when you were in the hospital?" Roger asked sitting next to him putting his arm around him.

"Yeah. Mom stayed with me the whole time." Matt said looking over at her.

"We fought almost that whole time. I wanted to stay with you, but she insisted that she had to be the one to see you through it." Roger said holding Matt close.

"Yeah, she slept in the chair next to my bed for almost a week." he said wiping his eyes.

_8 years earlier_

"_Roger, why don't you go home? Brandon is gonna wonder what's going on. You really should be home with him." Ashley said rubbing her eyes as Matt slept in the bed._

"_No, I can stay. Why don't you go home? I'm sure Brandon will feel better if he sees you." Roger said sitting up in his chair._

"_No, Roger really. I need to stay with him. You go. You have to go to work tomorrow anyway." she said shifting in her chair to look at him._

"_Ash Baby, you don't have to stay. I can stay with him. I want to. He's my son too." he told her quietly caressing her back._

"_I know Roger. I'm sorry. I just need to be with him right now." she told him as tears welled up in her face._

"_Ash, you don't need to do this alone. I'm here." Roger whispered leaning in to her._

"_Roger, I know. It's just, I'm his mother and I need to be here with him." she said wiping the tears that had fallen from her eyes._

"_Fine Ash. But you don't have to do this alone." he told her getting up._

"_Roger, you don't understand. He's my little boy, OK. He's sick and I need to be here with him. I need you to be with Brandon. Please." she said looking up at him as she got up._

"_Ash, he's my son too. Don't you think I need be here with him too?" he said quietly as she pushed him out of the room so Matt wouldn't hear them._

"_Roger, I know he's your son too. I'm not saying he's not. I'm just scared and I need to be with him. I need to see him through this." she told him as he leaned against the wall._

"_Fine, but I'll be by tomorrow morning after I drop Brandon off at school and you're going home to rest and I think you need to spend some time with him before you come back up here." Roger said looking around the wall at Matt._

"_This is a sight neither one of us wanted to ever see." Ashley said beginning to break down._

"_That's the last sight I ever wanted to see." Roger told her taking her into his arms as they cried._

"_I'm sorry Roger. I really am. It's just, I'm his mother. It's my responsibility to make sure he's OK, you know?" she cried looking up at him._

"_Ashley, we're both his parents and it's both of our responsibilities to make sure he's OK. But his is beyond our control. You have to stop trying to take on everything with the boys on your own. I'm here too, you know. Let me take on some of the worry too." Roger whispered leaning down towards her._

"_Roger, I just want you to be able to enjoy the boys without worrying about them. It's my job to worry." Ashley told him blinking tears._

"_No, it's both of our job to worry. You don't think I worry about Matt anyway, or how it's gonna be for you and Brandon when me and Matt are gone? Of course I do. I also worry about you taking on too much and not letting me do more for them. I'm their father Ash. I don't need you to baby me like I'm dying. I'm not. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. At least not yet." he whispered looking down at her._

"_I know you're their father Roger and you're the most amazing father those boys could ever have. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm shutting you out. I'm not being fair to you. I'm just trying to make sure the boys have good memories of you. Good memories of each other and their childhood. I guess I'm just trying too hard. I just want the boys to have a perfect life." she said looking down._

"_I understand what you're trying to do, but no one is gonna have a perfect life. I mean, we don't. Look at us. Me and Matt are positive and you're trying to be super mom and poor Brandon... he's gonna lose his father and the big brother he idolizes way too soon. But Ash, we have to live our lives for today. And today Matt's gonna be fine." he told her holding her closer to him._

"_Yeah for now. But what about next time. It could be PCP and we could lose him or you for that matter." she cried softly into his chest._

"_I'm so sorry Ash. I'm not sorry for the life I have with you and the boys, but I'm sorry you and Brandon are gonna be the ones to suffer the most." he whispered kissing her head._

"_I'm not sorry either. Roger, I love you and the boys so much. You have no idea. I do not want to imagine my life without you. You and the boys are the best things that has ever happened to me. I'm just not looking forward to losing the love of my life and my little boy." she said looking up at him still crying._

"_Ash Baby, I feel like my life didn't start until that night in the club when I met you." Roger told her leaning down to kiss her._

"I know dad, but look at her. She looks so weak, you know? That's not mom. Mom's strong, but not now. Now she just looks like she's giving up on everything." he said looking up at him.

"She's not giving up. Your mom has never given up on anything in her life." Roger said looking down at him.

"I need to apologize to mom." Matt said wiping his eyes.

"Yes you do. You really upset her." Roger said looking down at him.

"I didn't mean to. I never wanted to hurt mom. And she's going through enough with you being sick and everything. I really screwed up dad." he said looking up at him.

"No you didn't. You're just my son. Putting your foot in your mouth sometimes." he said hugging his son.

"Dad, tell me about the day you and mom decided to adopt me." he asked looking over at him.

"Matt, it wasn't just one day. Your mom and I were talking about having kids and she suggested adopting an HIV positive baby. I was against it at first. I never wanted your mother to watch our child die." he started remembering that night.

_25 years earlier_

"_Ash, do you ever think of having kids?" Roger asked caressing her bare back as she lay in his arms._

"_Yeah, but not in the way you think." she told him propping herself up onto her elbow._

"_What do you mean Baby?" he asked confused._

"_Well, I was thinking of maybe adopting a baby." she told him as he sat up._

"_Won't it be hard? You know with my HIV?" he asked as she sat up with him._

"_Honey, you're healthy. You take your meds. I'm a nurse. It's not really an issue these days." she told him smiling at him._

"_But doesn't the whole process take years or something?" he asked playing with her hair._

"_Not if we adopt an HIV positive baby. Roger, think about it. There are so many baby's whose parents give them up or abandon them because they're HIV positive. I remember when I first got my nursing degree, I worked in the neo natal ward with those beautiful babies and they always either went from foster home to foster home or were put in a group home or a hospice or something. They so desperately needed someone to love them and nurture them and it broke my heart that no one wanted them." she told him as he got out of bed to pace the bedroom._

"_I don't know Ash. I mean, I always wanted my child not to have HIV and with you, they wouldn't. Not if we take precautions. And I don't want you to have to watch our child die. It's bad enough you have to watch me and Collins die. Watching our child die is not something I want for you." he told her rubbing the back of his neck._

"_But Roger, these babies deserve loving homes. And their life expectancy is so much longer than it used to be. I mean, there are new meds that are working miracles for these babies. They deserve a chance to do something great. Maybe even find a cure for this thing. You would make such a wonderful father to our child. So why not to a child who needs one the most?" she said getting out of bed to follow him._

"_I don't know Ash. I just don't know. It's bad enough we have to live with thing. Why put a child through the same thing. How would we explain to this child why this is happening to them? Why they're not gonna have to worry about high school or college?" he asked looking down at her._

"_Roger, that's the thing. Kids born with HIV these days are worrying about high school and college. As long as they stay on their regimen, they could worry about getting married and having kids of their own. Honey, we don't have to decide anything tonight. Just think about it. Please." she asked holding his arm._

"_You really believe in this, don't you?" he asked smiling down at her._

"_Yes I do. We have so much love to give to a child. Why not a child who needs it the most?" she said smiling back at him._

"_I'll think about it Baby, OK?" he told her wrapping his arms around her body._

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

"_Ash wants to adopt a baby?" Roger said as he and Mark sat in the loft alone together._

"_That's great. Don't you guys want kids?" he asked smiling at him._

"_Yeah, you have no idea how much I want to be a father with Ashley. But Mark, she wants to adopt an HIV positive baby." he told him sitting up._

"_Roger, those are the babies that need homes the most." Mark told him as Roger got up to walk around the loft._

"_I know. But I worry about Ash. I mean, it's bad enough she's gonna have to watch me and Collins die one of these days. Can you imagine how hard it's gonna be for her to watch her child die from this thing?" he asked standing at the window staring out._

"_Rog, it's not a death sentence anymore. Kids who are born with this are most likely to worry about the prom, not worry about dying. I think it's great Ash wants to do this." Mark told him joining him at that window._

"_I know. That's what she said. But I always wanted a child without HIV and Ash just wants to love a child who needs it the most." Roger told him running his fingers through his hair._

"_Well Rog, at the risk of sounding like a broken record. Ash is one incredible woman to want to do this." Mark told him putting his hand on his shoulder._

"_Yeah she is. I mean, she not only loves me in spite of my HIV, but now she wants to love a child because of it." he told him smiling over at him._

"_So what did you tell her?" Mark asked as Roger sat on the window seat._

"_I told her I would have to think about it." he told him picking at his fingers._

"_What are you gonna tell her?" Mark asked sitting next to him._

"_I'm gonna tell her I want to do it. I mean, I would like to give a kid a good home. A kid who would otherwise be put into foster care or a group home. No kid deserves that." he told him as Mark smiled at him._

"_That's great Roger. Really. Congratulations." he said as Roger got up._

"_Now I think I should go tell my wife the good news. She's been waiting 2 weeks for my answer." he told him putting his coat on._

"_I bet a year and a half ago when you met her at the club you never thought you'd be married to her and thinking about adopting a baby." Mark told him laughing._

"_You can say that again. I'll be back later." he told him putting his scarf around his neck._

"_OK Rog." Mark said getting up._

"_Hey Mark." he called out opening the loft door._

"_What's up Rog?" Mark asked looking up at him._

"_Thanks man." he said smiling at him._

"_No problem Rog. Anytime." he said as Roger left the loft to go to the clinic to tell Ashley the good news. As Roger walked to the clinic he got to thinking how great it would be to adopt a baby with Ashley. He had never thought about adopting an HIV positive child, but everything Ashley had told him made sense. There were so many children in the world who didn't have anyone to love them and he knew he and Ashley would love a child like no one else would. As he approached the clinic he stood outside and took a deep breath before going inside._

"_Roger, what are you doing here? I thought you were hanging out with Mark today?" Ashley asked smiling at him from the other side of the counter._

"_I wanted to talk to you. Do you have a minute?" he asked with his hands in his jacket pockets._

"_Sure. Reish, do you mind if I go talk to Roger for a minute?" she asked turning to Reisha._

"_Of course not. Hi Roger." Reisha told her before smiling at Roger._

"_Hey Reish. Thanks. This will only take a minute." he told her as Ashley put her jacket on and they went outside._

"_What's the matter Honey? Is everything OK?" she asked looking up at him as he leaned against the wall._

"_Ash, how hard would it be to put in an adoption application?" he asked looking down at her._

"_Not hard. Why?" she asked looking at him confused._

"_Because I want to do it. I want to adopt an HIV positive baby." he said smiling down at her._

"_Are you serious?" she asked smiling at him._

"_Yeah, I wanna do it Baby. I wanna raise a baby with you." he told her as she threw her arms around his neck._

"_Roger, I love you so much." she said as tears formed in her eyes._

"_I love you too Ash. And I know we could give a baby a good home with all the love a kid could need." he told her caressing her hair._

"_Yeah we could." she told him before leaning back to kiss him._

"_So let's do it. Just tell me what we need to do and I'll do it." he told her smiling at her._

"_Roger, you are amazing. Thank you. I know how hard it was for you to make this decision." she whispered to him as he reached up and wiped her tears._

"_Not so hard when I really thought about it. It makes sense. Children need love and we have love to give. It was easy really. I just wanted to be sure." he told her as she ran her fingers through his hair._

"_And you talked to Mark?" she asked smiling at him._

"_Yeah, he just told me the same thing you've been telling me." he said laughing._

"_That's OK. I know you needed someone outside of the situation to talk to and Mark is your best friend. I'm glad you talked to someone." she said caressing his face._

"_He also told me what an incredible woman you are. But I knew that already." he said kissing her nose._

"_Well you are one incredible man, you know?" she told him pulling him close again._

"_You make me want to be the man I am." he whispered as he buried his face in her hair._

"_I'll get the papers and we can start filling them out." she told him pulling back to look at him._

"_OK. I'd like that. Now you better get back inside. I gotta get back to the loft. Me and Mark have woek to do." he told her kissing her again._

"_OK. I love you Roger." she told him smiling up at him._

"_I love you too Ash." he whispered holding her in his arms again before she went back inside and he went back to the loft._

"Mom was always something else, huh?" Matt asked looking up at him.

"You have no idea." Roger said smiling at him. "Come on man, let's go back up to your mom." he said putting his arm around him and they went back up to Ashley's room.

"Shh, she just fell asleep." Brandon whispered as Roger and Matt entered the room.

"Isn't she the most beautiful girl in the world?"Roger asked smiling down at her.

"You always say that dad." Matt said smiling up at him.

"Well she's always been the most beautiful girl in the world." Roger said putting his arm around Matt's shoulders.

"Matt, can I talk to you a minute?" Brandon asked getting out of the chair next to Ashley's bed.

"Yeah, I know little brother. I owe mom an apology." Matt said looking down at him.

"No, you don't know." he said angrily as he lead his older brother out of the room as Roger sat in the chair Brandon had just vacated.

"Brand, I'm sorry. I had no right to say that to mom." Matt said standing in the doorway.

"Matt, mom's doing the best she can. She's trying to take care of us, while at the same time watch dad die, knowing that you're next. This is not easy for her. She's not trying to kill herself, she's just got a lot of stress right now." he said looking up at him.

"I know Brand. I'm sorry. I just don't like seeing mom like that. She looks so little and so weak in there. That's not mom, you know? Mom's strong. She held this family together all these years and now look at her. She's laying in a hospital bed." Matt said as tears fell down his face.

"But she's gonna be OK. We just have to take care of her too. Dad's not the only one who need to be taken care of." Brandon told him looking in the window of Ashley's room.

"I know little brother. I'm really sorry." Matt said wiping his eyes.

"You should be. You really hurt mom. You made her cry. I don't like when mom cries." Brandon said looking up at him.

"Hey Brand, how did you get so strong?" Matt asked amused by how protective of Ashley he was.

"Mom and dad." he answered looking up at him.

"Yeah, they really did good raising us, didn't they?" Matt asked smiling at him.

"Yeah, they did." he said smiling back at him as they watched Roger sit at Ashley's bedside.


	55. Chapter 55

"Come on Baby, I made you breakfast." Roger said as Ashley came into the kitchen.

"Roger, you didn't have to make me breakfast." she said sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Speak for yourself mom. I love when dad makes breakfast." Brandon said eating his Davis special.

"Did I ever tell you about the first time your dad made me a Davis special?" she asked smiling over at him as Roger brought 2 plates to the table.

"No. is it a gross story?" he asked looking up at them.

"No it's not a gross story. Dad was spending the weekend with me at the old apartment and saturday morning he made me breakfast in bed." Ashley said holding Rogers hand.

_28 years earlier_

"_Good morning gorgeous." Roger said carrying a tray with a plate of eggs and bacon and 2 cups of coffee._

"_Mmmm Roger, what time is it?" she asked as her eyes creeped open._

"_It's 9:30 Baby. Good morning." he said leaning down to kiss her as he put the tray on the bed._

"_Well good morning. Breakfast in bed? Be careful. A girl could get used to this." she said smiling at him as she sat up bringing the blanket up with her to cover her bare chest._

"_That's OK. I'll risk it." he said smiling as he smiled back._

"_I didn't know you cooked." she said picking up the fork as she began to eat._

"_You'd be surprised." he said as she took a bite._

"_Mmm, Roger this is really good." she said with her mouth half full with scrambled eggs._

"_Thanks. It's a Davis special." he told her laughing as she took another fork full and fed it to him._

"_You made me a Davis special? I feel so honored." she said laughing._

"_Well I love you. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you." he said leaning in to kiss her._

"_I love you too." she said smiling at him as she picked up a piece of bacon._

"Eww, so it is a gross story." Brandon said laughing as he finished his breakfast.

"Hey, consider yourself lucky little man. If mom and I weren't gross, we wouldn't have you." Roger said laughing as he put his arm around Ashley.

"OK, now that you've managed to freak me out, I have to go to school. Bye mom." Brandon said getting up as he leaned down to kiss Ashley's head.

"Bye sweetie." Ashley said laughing as Brandon left.

"Come on Baby, eat your breakfast." Roger said smiling at her as he leaned over to kiss her head.

"Roger, I love you." she said looking up at him.

"Ash Baby, I love you so much." he said wrapping his arms around her as the phone rang. "I'll get it. You eat." he said smiling at her as he went for the phone. "Hello?" he said answering the phone.

"Hi, this is Dr. Malone's office. We're calling to speak to Ashley Davis." the nurse on the other end said.

"One moment please. Ash Baby, it's Dr. Malone's office." Roger said bringing the phone over to her.

"Hello, this is Ashley Davis... Yes, I'll hold. They want me to hold for the doctor." she told him concerned.

"What do you think it is?" Roger asked quietly as Ashley held the phone in her hand.

"I don't know Roger. Yes, hi this is Ashley Davis... I see. Are you sure?... OK thank you... I will... OK." she said hanging up the phone.

"What did he say?" Roger asked anxiously.

"My test came back. I'm HIV positive Roger." she said looking up at him.

"How? We've always been so careful." he asked getting up from the table to pace the kitchen.

"I don't know Roger." she said going to him.

"This is all my fault. I hurt you." he said turning away from her.

"Roger, this is not your fault, do you hear me?" she asked turning him towards her.

"How is this not my fault? You were negative when we met and now you're positive." he asked starting to cry.

"Roger, I knew the risks of being with you and I was OK with it. I just wanted to be with you. Roger this is not your fault." she said holding his arm.

"Ash, I have to go for a walk. I'll be back later, OK?" he said looking down at her.

"Roger, please don't go. Not like this. Stay here and talk to me, OK?" she asked as tears filled her eyes.

"Ash, I have to go and think." he said looking down at her.

"Roger, listen to me. I'm 52 years old. This thing is not gonna kill me. I'm more likely to die of old age than of AIDS." she said reaching out to hold him.

"But Ash, you're positive. I swore when we got together I would never hurt you and I have." he said holding her in his arms.

"I'm OK Roger. You didn't hurt me. I'm fine. See?" she said smiling through her tears.

"Ash Baby, what are we gonna do?" he asked crying into her shoulder.

"I'm gonna go on meds and I'm gonna live my life the way I always have. The way we always have. That's it." she said caressing his hair.

"Ash..." he started before she interrupted him.

"Roger, don't. Everything's gonna be OK. I promise." she whispered as he continued to cry into her shoulder.

"How are we gonna tell the boys?" he asked looking over at her.

"I don't know. But we'll figure something out." she said wiping her tears.

* * *

"SON OF A BITCH!!!!! HOW COULD I LET THIS HAPPENED? DAMMIT!!!" Roger yelled pacing around the loft as Mark sat stunned on the window seat. 

"Roger, calm down." he said quietly looking over at him.

"How can I calm down? I killed her Mark. I love her and I killed her." Roger said collapsing on the couch in tears.

"You didn't kill her Roger. You lived over 30 years with it. There are better meds out now. She's not gonna die from this." he said rushing to him.

"After all these years, how could she be positive now?" Roger asked looking up at him.

"Roger, it's gonna be OK. She's gonna be OK." Mark whispered holding him tight.

"How Mark? How could she possibly be OK?" he asked looking up at him. Mark had never seen Roger so hurt and scared. Even faced with his own mortality. Ashley being positive was the worst thing that could ever happen to Roger.

"She will be. We're all here Roger. We're here for both of you." Mark said rocking his best friend back and forth.

"What are we gonna tell the boys?" Roger asked through his tears.

"You'll tell them the truth. They know how this goes Roger." Mark said looking down at him.

"They're gonna hate me. They're gonna hate me for giving this to her." he said looking up at him.

"They worship you Roger. They could never hate you." Mark said holding him close.

"I gave Ashley HIV Mark. How could they not hate me? I hate me." he asked looking up at him.

"They won't Roger. Trust me. I know those boys as if they were my own." Mark said comforting him.

"I couldn't take it if those boys hated me." Roger cried thinking about the boys.

"It's OK Roger. Calm down. They're not gonna hate you." Mark told him holding him in his arms.

"She's my life Mark. She's my everything. How could I have done this to them?" he asked crying into Mark's shoulder.

"Roger, it's gonna be OK. We're here. We're not going anywhere, I swear." Mark said holding back his own tears.


	56. Chapter 56

"Kel, I don't know if I wanna tell the boys." Ashley said sitting at the kitchen table.

"What do you mean?" Kelly asked putting her coffee cup down.

"What good what it do? They would only wind up hating Roger and it's not like I'm gonna die of it anyway." she said looking up at her.

"You can't keep this from them Ash. It's not right." Kelly said getting up to pace around the kitchen.

"It would devastate them. Why would I want to do that to my boys? They're already losing their father to this and Matty not too far behind. And now I have to tell Brandon that his mother has this too? No. I can't do it Kel. I can't." Ashley said looking up at her.

"I don't feel right about knowing about this and keeping it from the boys." Kelly said looking down at her.

"Kel, they know where I got it from. I don't want them to hate Roger for it and you know my boys. They're very protective of me." Ashley said looking down at the table.

"Ash, they would want to know." Kelly said sitting next to her.

"I know, but I don't know what I'm gonna do Kel. We've been living with this hanging over us for 28 years. And just when I think we're in the home stretch, I'm diagnosed." she said starting to cry.

"I don't know Ash, but you can't keep this from them. They deserve to know. What does Roger say about this?" Kelly said putting her arms around Ashley.

"He wants to tell them. He doesn't think it's right to keep this from them either." Ashley said wiping her eyes.

"Well he's right. This isn't something you should keep from them." Kelly said looking down at her.

"How do I tell my boys that their father, the man they worship like he was God, gave me HIV?" Ashley asked crying more.

"Ash, you have to tell them." Kelly whispered rocking her back and forth crying with her.

"I have to think about it Kel." she said as she and Kelly cried together.

"I know sweetie. I know." Kelly said caressing Ashleys gray streaked hair.

* * *

"Ashley, what do you mean you don't want to tell them?" Roger asked laying in bed while Ashley folded the laundry.

"What am I gonna tell them? Hey Brandon, guess what? You're the one to survive." she asked looking over at him.

"Ash, I don't feel right not telling them." he said beginning to cough.

"Roger?" she called out rushing over to the bed.

"I'm fine. Don't change the subject." he said taking a deep breath.

"Roger, if we tell them, all it's gonna do is scare them into thinking that this is what they have to look forward to with me and we both know the odds are slim that I'm ever going to contract AIDS." she said sitting next to him.

"Ash, I don't like keeping this from them." he said looking up at her.

"I know, but I see no good reason why I should upset them, especially Brandon. You know how overly protective he can be." she said running her fingers through his hair.

"Not overly protective, they just love you and don't want anything to happen to you." he said looking up at her.

"They are their fathers sons." she said leaning down to kiss him.

"Ash, I don't want them finding out on their own." he said reaching up to caress her face.

"I know Roger. Just let me think about it a little more, OK? I have to figure out what I wanna say to them. I don't want it to come out wrong." she said beginning to cry.

"Ash, we just have to give it to them straight. They're my sons. They don't like it if you beat around the bush." he said taking her into his arms.

"I know, I'm just scared Roger." she said laying on his chest.

"Ash Baby, I'm so sorry." he whispered crying with her.

"Roger, stop that. This is not your fault." she said sitting up wiping her tears.

"Ash, you didn't have it when we met and now you do. Whose fault is it?" he asked, his face wet with tears.

"Listen to me Baby, OK? I knew you were positive the first night we met. I wasn't sorry then and I'm not sorry now. Do you hear me Roger? I love you and I always will." she said caressing his face.

"I love you too Ash. You brought me back to life." he said still crying.

"And you brought me to life." she said leaning down to kiss him.

"Ash Baby, lay with me, please?" he asked smiling up at her.

"Anything you want my love." she whispered before laying her head on his chest. Soon they fell asleep.

* * *

"Brandon, Roger dinner's almost ready." Ashely yelled up the stairs from the kitchen. 

"OK mom." Brandon yelled from his bedroom.

"Ash Baby, when's Matty and Chloe getting here." Roger asked startling her. She was cutting the garlic bread and the knife slipped cutting her finger.

"Dammit. Roger, don't do that." she yelled rushing to put her finger under the water.

"Are you OK Baby?" Roger asked rushing over to help her.

"Yeah, I'm just a dumbass. You really shouldn't sneak up on me like that Roger." she said looking up at him.

"Mom, are you OK?" Brandon asked rushing to her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Go get me a bandaid, OK sweetie?" she said as Roger looked at her scared.

"Let me see how deep it is. You might need stitches." he said standing over her.

"Brandon, listen to your mother." Roger yelled getting between them.

"It's not that deep sweetie. Just go get me a bandaid, OK?" she said looking up at Roger as Brandon looked at him strangely.

"OK mom. Geez dad, I'm just trying to help." Brandon said going towards the bathroom.

"Roger, what is wrong with you? He's just trying to help. He doesn't know any better." Ashley said wrapping a paper towel around her finger applying pressure to stop the bleeding.

"Ash, you know what'll happen if he touches you." he said turning around to throw the bread away.

"Yes Roger, I know. I'm a nurse, remember? I wasn't gonna let him touch my blood. But did you have to scare the hell out him?" she asked cleaning up the mess on the counter.

"I'm sorry Ash. I just don't want to hurt him too." Roger said standing over her.

"What do you mean hurt me too?" Brandon asked from the doorway holding a box of bandaids.

"Nothing sweetie. You just know how your dad gets. I think it stopped bleeding now. Can I have a bandaid?" Ashley told him trying to cover for Roger.

"Dad, what are you talking about hurting me too?" Brandon asked ignoring Ashley.

"Brandon, why don't you give your mom the bandaid and we can talk after dinner?" Roger said looking over at his son.

"Why won't you guys tell me what's going on?" Brandon asked as tears filled his eyes

"Brandon, everything's fine. Why don't you get cleaned up for dinner, OK? Matty and Chloe will be here any minute." Ashley said looking up at Roger who looked scared.

"Is dad sicker?" he asked as the front door opened.

"Mom, dad we're here." Matt called out as he started towards the kitchen. "What's going on guys?" he asked sensing the tension.

"Mom and dad are acting weird and they won't tell me what's going on." Brandon told him as he moved out of the doorway to let his brother and sister in law into the kitchen.

"Brandon, it can wait until after dinner." Ashley said as Roger kept quiet.

"What's going on mom?" Matt asked as Chloe looked on holding Matt's hand.

"Fine. Matt, Brandon, Chloe about a month ago I was diagnosed with HIV. I was tested in the hospital and I'm positive." she said as tears streamed down Roger's face.

"Dad?" Brandon yelled looking over at Roger.

"You guys have known about this for a month and didn't tell us?" Matt asked as Chloe took his hand.

"It's not your dad's fault. He wanted me to tell you boys. I just needed to find the right words to tell you first." she said holding back her own tears as Roger wrapped his arms around her.

"How do you find the right words to tell us that you're dying mom?" Brandon asked starting to cry.

"Brandon, listen..." Ashley started before Brandon ran out of the house. "Brandon." she yelled before looking up at Roger. "Roger, we have to go get him." she said looking back at him as tears fell from her eyes.

"No. I think I should go Ashley." Chloe said wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Are you sure Baby?" Matt asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I'm sure Matt. I'll bring him back, OK? I'm sorry Ashley." Chloe whispered before leaving to go after Brandon.

"Dad, you haven't said anything. How are you holding up?" Matt asked approaching Roger, who was crying.

"Not good Matt." he said crying harder as Ashley put her arms around him.

"Roger, it's gonna be OK. Brandon's gonna be fine." Ashley whispered holding him.

"Mom, can I talk to dad alone for a minute?" Matt asked quietly as he stood next to them.

"Sure sweetie." she said quietly as Roger held her tighter. "Roger, I love you. I'm not sorry." she whispered to him before caressing his face and he let go so she could leave them alone.

"Mom, I love you." Matt said quietly before Ashley left the room.

"I love you too Matty." she said smiling at him.

"Matt, you don't have to say it. I know I screwed up. You have every right to hate me." Roger said wiping his eyes.

"Dad, I don't hate you." Matt said wrapping his arms around Roger to comfort him.

"I killed her Matt. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone or anything in this world and I made her sick." he said crying into his sons shoulder.

"You didn't kill her dad. Look how long you and me lived with it. She's got a lot of years before she dies from this." Matt said as Roger's sobs shook him.

"I love her so much Matt. She's my life. She always was. The night I met your mom, my life began and now I took the rest of hers from her. I swore I would never hurt her. I swore I would always protect her and now she's sick because of me." Roger rambled still crying.

"Dad, listen to me. Mom loves you and she knows you love her. Does she look like someone who was just hurt?" Matt asked as Roger looked up at him.

"I thought you boys would hate me." Roger said wiping his eyes.

"Dad, we don't hate you. You love mom like she deserves to be loved. You guys love each other and you love us. We could never hate you." Matt said with tears in his eyes.

"Brandon hates me." Roger said looking at him.

"Brandon's a kid dad. He's scared. He's losing you and he's gonna lose me and mom too. He'll be OK." Matt said looking over at him.

"Brandon, wait." Chloe yelled chasing Brandon down the block.

"For what? My family to die? Wait, that's really gonna happen. With dad it won't be long and then mom and Matty are next." he yelled turning towards her with tears in his eyes.

"Brandon, you know your mom has a very good chance of dying of something other than AIDS. I'm sure she's on good medication. Better than your dad was on when he was diagnosed. She's gonna be OK." Chloe said moving closer to him.

"I just can't believe mom's sick. How could dad let that happen to her?" Brandon asked breaking down.

"Sweetie, you can't blame your dad. It's not his fault. He's devastated." she whispered holding him in her arms.

"Great. He's devastated, but now mom's sick and she's gonna die on me just like him and Matty are." he cried as they stood on the sidewalk.

"Brandon, she's not gonna die on you. She's gonna be OK." Chloe told him trying to comfort him.

"How could she be OK? She's got HIV." he asked crying.

"Your mom is the strongest woman I've ever known. You know, when me and Matty started getting serious, I used to talk to your mom about how she handled your dad being positive in the beginning and she told me that she loved him so much that it wasn't a factor. All she wanted to do was love him and be loved by him. That was the greatest thing in the world to her. No matter how long they had, as long as they loved each other, things were gonna be OK and they are. Everything's gonna be OK Brand. I promise, OK?" she said caressing his blond hair.

"So now what?" he asked looking down at her.

"We go back home and you talk to your parents. They're worried about you. Don't worry Brand. You have me. I'll take care of you." Chloe said smiling at him.

"Thanks Chloe. I'm glad my brother has you." Brandon said kissing Chloe's cheek.

"Hey, you got me too little brother. I'm always gonna be here for you." she said caressing his cheek before they headed back to the house.

"Chloe, are you afraid of losing Matt?" Brandon asked stopping in front of the Davis house.

"No. Your mom taught me to cherish every moment with him, just like she does with your dad. She's a strong lady Brand. I'm honored to have her in my life." Chloe told him with tears in her eyes.

"Me too Chloe." he said hugging her tight.

"Come on kiddo. Your brother is gonna think you're trying to work that famous Davis charm to steal me away from him." she joked trying to lighten the mood.

"Nah, Matt got all of dad's charms." he said laughing a little.

"You did too you know. You are so much like your dad. You may not be a musician like Matt and your dad, but you're a good man like him. You love your family the way your dad does." she said smiling at him.

"Yeah, my dad is a good man, isn't he?" he said smiling at her.

"One of the best I've ever met." she said as they went into the house.

"Brandon." Ashley called out rushing to her son. "I'm so sorry sweetie." she said crying as she hugged him.

"You have nothing to be sorry about mom. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ran out like that." he said crying with his mother.

"It's OK. It was your fathers first instinct too when we found out." she said looking at him as he wiped her tears.

"You're gonna be OK mom, don't worry. We'll take care of you. I love you mom." he said as Roger, Matt and Chloe looked on.

"I love you too Brandon Thomas Davis. You are one of the greatest gifts your father ever gave me." she said smiling at him through her tears.

"Dad, I'm not mad at you." Brandon said looking over at Roger.

"I love you Brandon." Roger said choking back tears.

"I love you too dad. We'll take care of mom. I promise." he said smiling at Roger.

"I know you will Brandon. You're a good man." Roger said hugging Brandon.

"Just like you dad." he said smiling at Chloe who was holding Matt.


	57. Chapter 57

"What do you think Matty and Chloe want to talk to us about?" Brandon asked as Roger sat on the couch playing with his guitar.

"Beats me." Roger answered tuning his guitar.

"I just hope they're not gonna tell us we're about to be grandparents." Ashley said bringing in the tray with the cheese, crackers and pepperoni.

"You never know Baby. They've been married for 3 years now." Roger said smiling up at her.

"You would love that, wouldn't you? Having a baby in the family again?" she asked sitting next to him.

"Maybe." he teased putting his guitar next to the couch before leaning over to kiss her.

"Don't lie dad. You would love to have another baby around." Brandon told him laughing.

"So, what's wrong with that? I loved when you guys were little. You were so fun." he joked putting his arm around Ashley.

"No, more like you were fun. You should have seen your dad when you boys were little. He used to roll around on the floor playing blocks and racing cars. I could barely get him to go to work or practice." Ashley laughed as Roger kissed her head.

"I remember some of it. And Uncle Mark showed me some film." Brandon said as Matt and Chloe entered the Davis house.

_26 years earlier_

"_Roger, will you get off of the floor with him and please get him ready? Everyone will be here soon." Ashley told him from the kitchen as she took out the snacks._

"_Oh come on Ash, we're racing." Roger told her playing with matchbox cars._

"_Roger, get him dressed please." she asked again looking down at him._

"_OK. Come on Matt, mommy need you to get dressed." Roger said putting the cars in the toybox in the living room before picking Matt up and bringing him into his room to get dressed._

"_Make sure you put his over alls and his dinosaur t-shirt on, OK?" she asked calling out to him._

"_I know how to dress my son Ash." he told her laughing as he put back the black t-shirt and jeans and took out the overalls and dinosaur t-shirt._

"_Yeah, how did I know you were gonna want to put him in that shirt?" she asked leaning in the doorway laughing at him._

"_Because it's supercool." he told her laughing as he started dressing Matt._

"_Only your son would have a baby Motley Crue t-shirt." she told him entering his room._

"_That's because my son is the coolest kid ever." he said kissing Matt's head as he dressed him._

"_That's because he has the coolest daddy ever. What other daddy would lay on the floor with him for hours playing with blocks, legos and matchbox cars?" she asked sitting in the rocking chair._

"_Well he likes blocks, legos and matchbox cars." he told her smiling down at her._

"_And so do you. Admit it." she said him laughing as she got up._

"_Yeah I do. I'm not afraid to admit it." he told her as he came up behind him wrapping her arms around his waist._

"_And that's what makes you the coolest dad ever." she told him smiling up at him._

"Hey guys. What's going on?" Matt asked leaning down to kiss Ashley's cheek.

"Nothing sweetie. We were just talking about how your dad was when you boys were little." Ashley said smiling at him.

"Mom, Chloe's not pregnant. We wanted to talk to you guys about something." he said looking down at them.

"What's going on sweetie?" Ashley asked looking up at them.

"Chloe's going to nursing school and we want to move in the basement to help you guys with dad." Matt said holding Chloe's hand.

"Chloe sweetie, that's wonderful, but you kids don't need to move in with us. I can take care of dad, and you boys for that matter." Ashley said getting up from the couch.

"Mom, the doctor said you have to slow down and with Brand back in school, you're alone with dad." Matt said looking at her.

"I happen to like being alone with dad." she said looking down at Roger.

"Mom, you know what we mean." Matt said as Chloe clutched his hand.

"Roger Matthew Davis, I am still your mother and I am not gonna have you treat me like an invalid. I'm HIV positive, I'm not dying. Now if you two need to move in here for financial reasons, you're more then welcome to. But I'm not gonna have my kids taking care of me." Ashley yelled before going into the kitchen.

"Dad, I'm sorry. We're just trying to help." Matt said looking over at Roger who was getting up to go after Ashley.

"Matt, I know. But you know your mom. I'll talk to her. Congratulations Chloe." he said kissing Chloe's cheek before going into the kitchen. "Ash Baby, are you OK." he asked seeing her cry.

"I'm capable of taking care of this family. I'm sick of everyone looking at me like, 'Poor Ashley, her husband is dying of AIDS and she's positive too.' I'm not dying Roger. I don't need my children taking care of me." she yelled crying as he wrapped his arms around her.

"No one looks at you like that Ash." Roger whispered holding her in his arms.

"Mark and Kelly do and now my own son does." she said crying into his chest.

"But Ash Baby, we don't want you in the hospital again." he whispered kissing her head.

"I'm not gonna end up in the hospital again. I'm taking my meds, I'm on vitamins and I take care of myself. See? This is why I didn't want to tell them." she cried looking up at him.

"I know Ash Baby, I know. I don't think Matty and Chloe meant it like that. They just want to help you. I'm getting sicker and with Brandon going back to school, I think you need the help. Their hearts are in the right place." he said caressing her hair.

"Roger, I don't want them wasting any of the time they have together taking care of us. I want them to have what we had all these years." she said moving away from him.

"Ash, I think they should move into the basement. Me, Matty, Brandon and Mark'll fix it up for them." he suggested looking over at her.

"Roger, how are you building stuff in your condition?" she asked wiping her eyes.

"OK, so I'll supervise. But I really want to have Matt and Chloe close. As much for them as for us." he said caressing her face.

"You miss having Matt home, don't you?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah Ash, you know I do." he said smiling down at her.

"OK Roger, you win. I'll let Matty and Chloe move in. I can help Chloe with her school work. It's been a long time, but I think I remember most of it." she said smiling up at him.

"I love you Ash. I just want you to take it easy." he whispered leaning down to kiss her.

"I love you too Roger." she said smiling up at him.

* * *

"Dad, leave it. You're too sick to be carrying sheet rock." Matt said looking at Roger in the basement. 

"I'm fine Matt. Just help me with this." he said taking a hold of the sheet rock.

"Dad, you don't look good. I'm gonna call mom." he said looking over at him.

"Matt, I'm fine." he said looking over at him. He was pale and sweating a little.

"When are you gonna slow down?" Matt asked helping him.

"When I can't get out of bed anymore." Roger said smiling over at him.

"Roger, are you down there?" Ashley asked from the top of the stairs.

"Yeah Ash Baby, I'm helping Matt." he called out innocently as Matt laughed.

"Don't give me Ash Baby, Mark'll be here with Brandon in a little while. Get up here. I made lunch." she yelled as Matt and Roger laughed.

"Think she's pissed?" Roger asked leaning the sheet rock against the wall.

"Um, yeah dad. I think she's pissed." Matt laughed as they went upstairs.

"Roger you said you were gonna supervise, and by the sheet rock dust on your shirt, it doesn't look like you're doing much supervising." she said looking up at him.

"But Ash Baby, I feel fine." he said smiling at her.

"I told him, but he wouldn't listen." Matt said smiling before taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Mama's Boy." Roger laughed as Ashley felt his head.

"Roger, you have a fever." she said as he took her hand off of his forehead.

"I'm fine Ash." he said walking away from her.

"Roger, you are not fine. You're temperature is at least 101. Go lay down." Ashley said looking over at him.

"We have to get the basement set up for Matt and Chloe. They can't keep sleeping in Matt's old room." Roger said looking over at her.

"Dad Uncle Mark and Brand'll be here soon, it's OK. We'll get it done." Matt said as Ashley stood at the counter.

"See Roger, we have it all under control. Now go lay down. I'll bring you some ibuprophen and soup." Ashley said looking over at him.

"OK Ash, I'll go." he agreed reluctantly before getting up to go upstairs.

"Thank you Baby." she said looking over at him as went upstairs.

"Mom, you have to get dad to slow down." Matt said looking up at her as she poured a glass of orange juice and took the bottle of ibuprophen out of the kitchen cabinet.

"He doesn't have much time Matt. He just wants to spend as much time with us as possible." she said as tears escaped her eyes.

"Mom, it's OK." Matt said wrapping his arms around her.

"I have to bring this up to your dad. Finish your lunch, when Uncle Mark and Brandon get here you can start working on the basement." Ashley said pulling away from him.

"I love you mom." he said looking over at her.

"I know Matty, I love you too." she said before starting up the stairs. When she got to their bedroom she heard Roger coughing. "Roger, are you OK?" Ashley asked rushing over to him putting the orange juice and ibuprophen on the night stand next to him.

"I'm fine Ash Baby. My throat was just a little dry. I must have breathed in some of the sheet rock dust." he covered as she helped him into bed.

"Roger, stop it. The boys aren't here. It's just you and me. You're getting pneumonia, aren't you." she asked covering him with the heavy blanket on their bed.

"Yeah I am. I've been feeling it." he told her quietly as she caressed his face.

"Roger, I wanna sing with you again." she said holding back tears.

"Ash, I'm not dying yet." he told her reaching up for her hand.

"I know, but I just wanna sing our song with you again. I miss being up there with you." she said as a tear escaped her eyes.

"The guys would love it. They miss seeing you cry when I sing your song." he said laughing as he kissed her hand.

"I can't believe after all these years you still sing that song." she said as he wiped her tears.

"It's the greatest song I ever wrote." he said starting to cry.

"Well, you wrote it for me." she said crying harder as he brought her to his chest.

"You are the greatest love of my life Ashley." he cried caressing her hair.

"And you're mine Roger." she said holding him tighter. As they laid in bed Roger fell asleep. Ashley gently moved off of the bed and left the room to let him sleep.

"Mom, dad's not gonna get any better, is he?" Brandon asked standing in his doorway as Ashley came out of hers and Roger's bedroom.

"No sweetie, he's not." she said quietly wiping the tears from her eyes.

"I'm sorry mom." he said looking down at her.

"For what sweetie?" she asked confused.

"I'm sorry you can't have more time with dad." he said approaching her.

"Brandon, your dad and I have had so many good years. More than either of us thought we'd have. It's OK. I'm not ready to lose him, but it's OK." she said caressing her 16 year old sons face.

"Mom, is dad suffering?" he asked as tears fell from his eyes.

"Do you remember when Uncle Collins was dying? He was at peace, you know? I mean, when they were diagnosed, they didn't think they'd live to see 30, but they were on good meds and they lived to see you and your brother grow up into good men. Seeing the kind of men you and your brother are, puts your father at peace. You are both such good men. He is so proud of both of you." she told smiling as tears fell from her own face.

"Can I go in and see dad?" Brandon asked wiping the tears from his eyes.

"He's sleeping now. But check in on him. I'm gonna go make dinner, OK? Chloe should be home from school soon." she said leaning up to kiss his cheek. "I love you Brandon." she whispered as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I love you too mom." he said smiling at her before going into hers and Roger's room. Brandon hated seeing Roger sick. Roger was always strong, but he was getting weaker and weaker. When he went in Roger's eyes creeped open.

"Brand, come on in." he said smiling up at his son.

"I didn't mean to wake you." Brandon said looking over at him as he sat on Roger and Ashley's bed.

"No, you didn't wake me." he said looking over at him. "What's up?" Roger asked looking up at him.

"Dad, tell me about when you and mom decided to have me." he asked looking over at him.

"Brandon, you've heard that story a million times." Roger said looking over at him.

"I know, but I like it." he smiled laying down next to him.

"OK, well Aunt Michelle and Uncle Adam had driven down to tell me and your mom they were gonna have Bianca and they wanted to play a prank on me, so your mom and Matt came by the restaurant to surprise me." he started as he remembered that day.

_17 years earlier_

"_Hey Baby." Roger said as Ashley and Matt walked into the restaurant and Michelle and Adam waited outside._

"_Hi daddy." Matt said smiling at him._

"_Hey buddy. How was school?" he asked kneeling down to hug him._

"_Great." Matt told him smiling._

"_To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?" he asked picking Matt up._

"_I don't know, we felt like seeing you."she said leaning up to kiss him._

"_Cool. Why don't you guys sit down? We'll have a late lunch." he said smiling down at them._

"_Daddy, can I have a chocolate milkshake?" Matt asked as Roger seated them in the dining room._

"_Of course you can Matt." he said kissing his sons cheek as he put him down._

"_Thank you daddy." he said smiling at him._

"_No problem buddy. What do you feel like Baby?" he asked sitting down with them._

"_Well, I was in a mood for baby shrimp with baby corn and baby carrots." she said looking up at him._

"_OK. Are you hungry Matt?" he asked not seeing the theme._

"_I want baby back ribs." he said smiling at him._

"_Baby back ribs, baby shrimp, baby corn, baby carrots? Am I missing something?" he asked looking at Ashley._

"_What do you mean Baby?" she asked smiling at him._

"_You know what I mean. Ash are you...?" he asked smiling as he reached out for her hand._

"_No, but we are." Michelle said coming into the restaurant._

"_No way. Oh my God, I thought we were." he told them looking at Ash._

"_Sorry Baby." she said holding his hand._

"_It's OK." he told her almost sadly as he got up to congratulate Michelle and Adam "Congratulations you guys." he said smiling happily at them. As Ashley watched them she began thinking about the look Roger gave her. They had been talking about adopting another baby, but they wanted to wait until Matt was a little bit older._

"_I'm sorry we tricked you man. We wanted to prank the master." Adam said smiling at him._

"_I'm happy for you guys." Roger told them smiling._

"_We need to celebrate." Ashley said smiling up at them as Michelle and Adam sat at the table with her and Matt and they celebrated._

* * *

"_Roger, can we talk?" Ashley asked as Roger came out of Matt's room._

"_What's the matter Baby?" he asked sitting on the couch next to her._

"_I've been thinking about something." she started as she took his hands._

"_Ash, what's the matter?" he asked sitting back._

"_The way you looked at me earlier when you thought I was pregnant." she started as tears came to her eyes._

"_I know. I'm sorry. That was selfish of me. I shouldn't have..." he said before she cut him off._

"_I wanna get pregnant, Roger." she said smiling up at him._

"_But Ash, I thought you wanted to adopt another baby." he said confused as tears rolled down Ashley's face._

"_I did, but Roger I was thinking, maybe I wanna be pregnant." she said wiping her face._

"_Maybe or you do?" he asked caressing her face._

"_I do." she told him smiling at him._

"_But Ash, what about my HIV? What about Matt?" he asked smiling at her._

"_There's a way that your HIV wouldn't be an issue and Matt would love it. I don't want him to be an only child. I don't want him to grow up all by himself." she told him as tears streamed down her face._

"_Ash, I don't know." he started as he sat back on the couch._

"_Roger, I'm only 32 and we want another baby, and I really wanna be pregnant. I really wanna have our baby." she said turning to look at him._

"_But Ash..." Roger started before Ashley cut him off._

"_Roger, Matt is our child. There is no way he's gonna feel like we'll love this baby more than him." she said as he sat up._

"_I know, I was just gonna ask how?" he asked reaching up for her._

"_Oh. I thought you were afraid of the whole adopted kid vs. the biological kid thing." she said looking down._

"_Of course not. Matt's our son, Ash. There is no way we could love any kid more than him, whether you give birth or we adopt again." he said holding her tight._

"_I know." she said smiling up at him._

"_So, you really wanna?" he asked looking down at her._

"_Do you?" she asked looking up at him._

"_Yeah, I do. Let's have another baby." he told her kissing her head._

"_I guess we're gonna try to have a baby." she said leaning up to kiss him._

"You guys really wanted me, didn't you?" Brandon asked looking over at Roger who was smiling as tears rolled down his face.

"You have no idea how happy we were when we found out we were having you." he said smiling at him as he began to tell him about the day they found out Ashley was pregnant.

_17 years earlier_

"_Is it time yet?" Roger asked as Ashley sat in Matt's room helping him clean up._

"_Roger, I wish you would just relax. The timer will go off when it's time." she said smiling up at him._

"_I'm sorry Baby. I'm just anxious." he said standing in the doorway._

"_I know Honey, but you need to calm down. It doesn't always work the first time." she told him getting up to put an arm full of toys in the toybox._

"_I know, I'm sorry." he said as she walked over to him._

"_Honey, everything's gonna be fine. If it doesn't work this time, we can try again." she said putting her arms around his waist as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders._

"_I know Baby. I know." he said kissing her head._

"_Now help me clean this up. You helped him make the mess." she said leaning up to kiss him._

"_You know, he' s 7 now. He can do this himself." he said smiling down at her._

"_I know. I just want him to enjoy being a kid." she said holding him tight as the timer went off._

"_Are you ready, Baby?" he asked looking down at her._

"_Yeah, I'm ready." she said looking up at him nervously._

"_Hey, I love you Ash." he said leaning down to kiss her._

"_I love you too Roger." she told him as they went to the bathroom to check the test stick._

"_What does it say?" he asked looking over her shoulder._

"_It worked." she told him staring down at the test stick._

"_It did?" he asked excitedly as she turned around to look at him. She had tears in her eyes. "Oh Baby, it worked." he said picking her up._

"_It worked." she repeated as she cried into his neck._

"_Are you OK Baby?" he asked looking over at her._

"_Yeah, I just can't believe I'm pregnant." she told him wiping her eyes._

"_I know Ash. Matt's gonna be a big brother." he said kissing her head._

"_Matt, we have to tell Matt." she said looking up him._

"_He's gonna be so excited." he told her happily as he put her down._

"_I have to make an appointment for the doctor, and we have to tell everyone. There's so much to do." _

_she said holding his biceps._

"_Ash, calm down. We'll do all that. Let's just enjoy this. You and me." he whispered holding her face in his hands._

"_I know, I'm sorry Honey. I'm over thinking it." she said smiling up at him._

"_We're pregnant Ash." he said smiling as tears came to his eyes._

"_Roger, we're pregnant." she repeated as he held her tight in his arms._

"_I love you Ash." he said kissing her head._

"_I love you too Roger." she said holding him tighter._

"_Hey my little baby. Hey." he said kneeling down in front of Ashley's belly._

"_Roger, the baby can't hear you yet." she said laughing as she caressed his head._

"_I don't care." he said smiling up at her as he caressed her flat belly._

"_You are such a great daddy." she said smiling down at him before kneeling in front of him._

"_I just love my family, Ash." he told her taking her in his arms._

"_I know Honey, I know." she said leaning up to kiss him as her watch alarm went off._

"_Time to get Matt." Roger said kissing her head._

"_Don't you tell him." she said smiling at him as they got up off of the bathroom floor._

"_I won't. I promise." he told her smiling as he leaned down to kiss her. "I love you Ash." he said before opening the apartment door._

"_I love you too Roger." she said smiling as he left to pick Matt up from school. As she stood in the apartment alone, she thought about being pregnant. She and Roger had decided 6 months earlier to try to get pregnant. They went to the doctor and found out it wasn't that easy. They had to regulate her periods and put her on fertility drugs before they could do the artificial semination. That was 3 weeks ago. Ashley heard the downstairs door open indicating that Roger and Matt were back._

"_Mommy, we're home." he called out as she stood in the kitchen putting his after school snack out._

"_Hi babyboy. How was school?" Ashley said as she leaned down to kiss Matt's head._

"_Good. My teacher said I got the highest grade in the class on my science test." he said smiling up at her._

"_I am so proud of you honey." she said kissing him before he sat at the table._

"_Hey Matty, mommy and I have something we need to tell you." Roger said putting his arm around Ashley's waist._

"_What's up dad?" he asked looking up as Ashley sat next to him._

"_Well Matt, you know mommy and daddy love you, right?" she asked smiling at him._

"_Yeah, and?" he asked eating his cookies._

"_Well mommy and daddy found out today that you're gonna be a big brother." she told him reaching out for his hand._

"_You and dad are having a baby?" he asked smiling at them as Roger knelt down next to Ashley._

"_How do you feel about that, son?" he asked looking up at him._

"_That is so cool. I'm gonna have a little brother." he told them excitedly._

"_Or sister." Roger told him smiling up at him._

"_This is really cool." he said leaning over to hug them._

"_I love you Matty." Roger said kissing his head._

"_I love you guys too." he told them smiling at them._

"I don't remember you talking to me in there." he said laughing.

"I didn't only talk to you. I sung to you and when your mom was asleep, I used to tell you how great she was." he said smiling up at him.

"I must have remembered that. Mom is great." he said smiling at him.

"She's the best. She gave me a chance and 2 amazing sons." she said laughing as he looked up at him.

"I bet you're glad she finally worked up the nerve to talk to you that night, huh?" Brandon asked laughing.

"You have no idea kid." Roger said smiling at him.

"I'm sorry for everything dad. I was a stupid kid." he said looking away from Roger.

"Brandon, listen to me, OK? You have nothing to be sorry about. You are who you are and you're a good man. Your mom is gonna need you when I'm gone." Roger said reaching out for his son.

"Don't worry dad. I'll take care of her for you, OK?" he said smiling at him.

"I know you will Brand. Now, you better go downstairs to help Uncle Mark and Matty with the basement. They won't say it, but I know they're sick of sleeping in his old room." he said smiling at him.

"OK dad. I love you." Brandon said leaning down to hug him.

"I love you too Brandon. I am so proud of you and your brother. You know that, don't you?" he said starting to cry.

"I know dad. I always knew." he said as Roger hugged him tighter.


	58. Chapter 58

"Are you ready Ash Baby?" Roger asked looking down at Ashley.

"I am more ready then I've ever been." she said leaning up to kiss him.

"Ash, I'm singing for just you." he whispered smiling down at her.

"You always did." she said smiling back at him.

"Do you remember the first time we stood out here waiting for you to go on?" he asked looking down at her.

"I was scared to death." she said laughing as she remembered.

_28 years earlier_

"_Roger, I can't do this." Ashley said standing outside the club._

"_Baby, yes you can. I believe in you. You are more than ready. Your voice is ready, you know the song and you have me. How could you lose?" he told her bending down slightly to look her in her eyes._

"_But Roger with just you and the guys is one thing. This is a club full of people who came to see you guys." she said looking clearly nervous._

"_Ashley, you're an amazing singer. You can do it. These people are lucky to be here tonight to hear you." he told her holding her face in his hands._

"_Roger..." she started before he cut her off with a kiss._

"_Baby, you can do this. It's just you and me, OK?" he told her caressing her cheeks with his thumbs._

"_OK, just you and me." she said leaning in to kiss him. "I love you Roger." she said as Terry opened the door._

"_I love you too Ash. Are you ready?" he asked kissing her again._

"_Yeah, I'm ready." she said as he took her hand and led her into the club. She stood with Collins, Maureen, Joanne, Mark and Kelly until Roger brought her on stage. He placed their song before I'm With You._

"_Now, I have a special treat for all of you. My girlfriend Ashley brought me to karaoke a few months ago and I found out something about her that night. She can sing. I mean, really sing. So I'm gonna bring her up and she is gonna sing a song with me. Come on Ash Baby, come on up." he said as she climbed up smiling at Roger. "Are you ready, Baby?" he asked handing her her microphone._

"_Yeah, I am." she said smiling at him as the band started the song. As Ashley sung, she didn't take her eyes off of Roger. He kept her stable. She felt his energy and the more she would sing, the more comfortable she felt. By the end of the song, she forgot about everyone else and only saw Roger. The crowd exploded in applause. She couldn't believe it._

"_Ashley McCoy, ladies and gentlemen. I love you Baby." he said smiling at her as she climbed into the arms of Collins._

"_Babygirl, that was amazing. I am so proud of you." Collins said holding her in his arms._

"_Um, Collins. We've been over this a hundred times. You're gay, she's my girl. I'm about to do her song, so she needs to be able to breathe to hear it." Roger said as the crowd laughed._

"_Sorry man. I forget, you know. But if any woman could make me straight, it would be Ash. Rock chics turn me on." he said as everyone laughed as he loosened his hold on Ashley._

"_Thank you. I love you Ash." he said before winking at Ashley and starting her song._

"_I love you too Roger." she said smiling up at him. As he sung the song tears streamed down her face. She had been listening to him sing this song for months and it still made her cry. The fact that this wonderful man, who she loved so much wrote her the most beautiful song she had ever heard was still surreal to her. No one had ever loved her enough to write her a song, much less one as beautiful as I'm With You._

"_Thank you and goodnight." Roger said as he took his guitar off and went to Ashley. "Oh Baby, you were incredible." he said picking her up as she wiped her eyes._

"_It's because of you. Your energy helped me so much. I mean I just looked at you and you gave me your energy." she said holding him around his neck._

"_Well whatever it was, you were awesome. Wow." he said kissing her deep and passionately._

"_Thank you Baby." she said holding him tight as everyone flocked around them._

"_Ash, you we were awesome." Kelly said as everyone nodded._

"_You really were Ash. Wow." Maureen said excitedly._

"_Thanks guys. Can you excuse me and Roger for a minute?" she said as Roger put her down._

"_Sure Babygirl." Collins answered beaming with pride._

"_What's up Baby?" he asked looking down at her as they sat outside._

"_Oh my God. That was incredible. I just needed to get some air." she said as he held her in his arms._

"_You wanna do it again, don't you?" he asked looking down at her._

"_Yeah, I do." she said laughing as she leaned up to kiss him._

"_I knew you would." he said laughing as he picked her up again._

"_Shut up." she said laughing at him as she kissed him again._

"_It's a rush, isn't it?" he said smiling at her._

"_Yeah, it is. Wow, I can't believe you do that every week." she said as he put her down._

"_Do you want to?" he asked smiling down at her._

"_What? Play with the band?" she asked looking up at him confused._

"_Yeah. The guys want you to join the band." he said as she held on to his biceps._

"_Are you kidding?" she asked looking up at him._

"_Why not? I mean, Baby, you heard the crowd. They love you." he told her as Collins came out._

"_OK then. I'll do it." she said as he leaned down to hold her in his arms._

"_What'd I miss?" Collins said holding his cigarette in his hand._

"_I'm gonna be playing with the band." Ashley said turning to him._

"_Babygirl, you just did." he said teasing her._

"_I mean, every week. I'm in the band. They want me to play with them." Ashley told him excited._

"_Babygirl, that's great." he said taking her out of Rogers arms to hug her._

"_Thanks." she said laughing hugging him back._

"_Hey guys, you're missing your own party." Kelly said coming out of the club._

"_Sorry Kel. I just needed some air. Roger asked me to join the band. Permenantly." she said excitedly as Kelly screamed._

"_Oh my God. That's amazing and you so deserve it. Now we really have to celebrate." Kelly said hugging her._

"I miss having Collins here." she told him with tears in her eyes.

"I know Baby, me too." he said holding her close.

"He loved torturing you." she said smiling through her tears.

"He loved you so much Ash. He always said he was honored to be your big brother." he said holding her face in his hands.

"He was this family, you know. He taught me how to take care of everyone." she said crying.

"Ash Baby, he's with you you know. He's with all of us. He'll never leave us. Just like I'll never leave you." he said holding her closer to his chest.

"I know Roger. I'm sorry. This is a happy occassion. I'm about to sing with my husband again for the first time in years." she said wiping her eyes, careful not to mess up her eye make up. "Ugh, OK, we have to go inside. The boys and everyone is probably wondering where we are." she said starting to laugh to stop herself from crying again.

"Ash Baby, you're my life. As long as you love me I'll never truly be gone." he whispered leaning down to kiss her.

"I know. I love you so much Roger." she said looking up at him as the moon lit his face. He looked like he did 28 years earlier. She could see the light in his green eyes. Performing always did that to him. She loved the way he was before a show. He was on top of the world. She reached up to touch his face as the door to the club opened.

"Come on guys. Terry said you're on in 5." Brandon said smiling at his parents.

"OK man. Have you ever seen your mother so beautiful?" Roger asked smiling down at Ashley.

"Mom's always beautiful dad." he said smiling at them.

"You got that right son." Roger said leaning down to kiss her. "I love you Ash Baby. Remember, it's just you and me." he whispered smiling at her.

"Just like it's supposed to be." she said smiling at him before they went in. Brandon loved seeing his parents like that. They were each others lives. They always were. He hoped he would find someone to love him half as much as his mother loved his father.

"And now Roger Davis and The Boho Knights." the manager announced as the club exploded into applause. Everyone was there. Maureen, Joanne, Mark, Kelly, Matt, Chloe, Brandon, Michelle, Adam and Bianca.

"Go Roger." Ashley yelled cheering.

"Hey Baby." he laughed as he winked at her like he used to. "As you all know, I'm Roger Davis and we are the Boho Knights. We have a really special night in store, so let's get on with the music." he said smiling at Ashley as he began playing.

"Yeah." Brandon screamed as the music started. Roger was perfect. He hadn't been performing as much as he used to because of his pneumonia, but he had been trying to perform as much as possible. He had planned on this night being his last night performing and since Ashley was performing with him, he felt his career was ending on a good note.

"And now for the special part of the evening. I want to call my beautiful wife Ashley up here to perform a song we performed for the first time together 28 years ago. Come on up Ash Baby." he called out holding his hand out to help her on stage.

"Yeah mom." Matt yelled as everyone cheered for them.

"Hi Baby." Ashley said into the mike smiling at Roger.

"Hey Ash Baby." he said smiling back at her. "Are you ready?" he asked taking her hand.

"Let's do it Baby." she replied laughing as the opening riff started.

"_Baby, I get so scared inside and I don't really understand. Is it love that's on my mind or is it fantasy?" she started as everyone screamed._

"_Heaven, is in the palm of my hand and it's waiting here for you. What am I supposed to do with a childhood fantasy?" he sung back smiling at her. "If I close my eyes forever. Will it all remain unchanged? If I close my eyes forever. Will it all remain the same? Sometime, it's hard to hold on, so hard to hold on to my dreams. It isn't always what it seems when you're face to face with me." he sung playing the guitar._

"_Like a dagger, you stick me in the heart. And taste the blood from my blade. And when we sleep, would you shelter me in your warm and darkened grave? If I close my eyes forever. Will it all remain unchanged? If I close my eyes forever. Will it all remain the same? Will you ever take me?" she sung right at him._

"_No I just can't take the pain." he replied smiling at her._

"_Won't you ever trust me?" she asked singing with everything she had._

"_No I'll never feel the same. Oh." he sung before playing the guitar solo as everyone screamed with excitement._

"_I know I've been so hard on you. I know I've told you lies. If I could have just one more wish. I'd wipe the cobwebs from my eyes. If I close my eyes forever. Will it all remain unchanged? If I close my eyes forever. Will it all remain the same? I'm yours." she concluded reaching up to caress Roger's cheek._

"_Close your eyes. Close your eyes. You gotta close your eyes for me." he sung taking her hand in his and kissing it as the song ended._

"Yeah, go mom and dad." Brandon yelled as Roger took Ashley into his arms.

"I love you Ashley Marie Davis." he said in her ear before she leaned up to kiss him.

"Well, good thing because I love you too Roger Matthew Davis." she replied smiling with tears in her eyes. She knew this would be the last time they would ever sing together. She would miss seeing him up there, captivating an audience.

"As a lot of you may know, the next song is one I wrote for my girl when we first started dating. I wrote it in the course of a weekend and the first time I performed it for her the next week, she stood right there and cried. And she proceeded to cry every time I sung it for her. Tonight is gonna be the last time I sing it here, so I want my girl to stay up here while I sing it for her." he announced looking into Ashley's eyes. Tears began to sting his eyes. The club fell silent. Everyone knew this might be the last time Roger ever performed, but hearing it from Roger made it too real.

"I love you Roger." she whispered as tears fell from her eyes.

"Ashley, I love you so much. I always have and I always will." he whispered before Terry started I'm With You.

"_Starlight and Wonder. The universe seen through your eyes." Roger started as Ashley held his hand tight. "The moon is a glorious halo. Hanging high over your head every night. Spinning and spinning. A flick of the wrist and a smile. And in the morning so early. Deep conversations are spoken in tongues by sunlight. Tonight, you can drean you're a star. You can walk on the clouds.And float to the ground. And I'm with you. Tonight you can get very far. The calm and the storm, are forever yours. And I'm with you. We stare out the window. And look to the sky every night. The stars ar the beacons of heaven and maybe one day you'll go up for a ride.Oh you are the sunshine you are the face that I dream of. You are your mother's religion, down on her knees as she kisses your heartache away. I've thrown coins in the fountain. I've been to the mountain. I've lived through the violence. I've seen what man can do to man can do to man. I can't promise you peace. I can't promise you money But I promise to make you the best man I can. Hold on to something, 'cause you life's about to begin." _as Roger ended the song, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Matt held Chloe close as she cried into his chest. "Ash Baby, I love you." Roger said through his tears.

"I love you too Roger." she cried as he held her close. With that, the club patrons cheered.

"Thank you. Good night." Terry said into the microphone seeing that Roger and Ashley were holding each other crying.

"I missed hearing you sing that." Maureen said wiping her eyes as Roger and Ashley stepped off stage.

"Me too Maureen." Ashley said wiping her eyes.

"Are you OK Chloe?" Roger asked wiping his eyes seeing Chloe still holding Matt tight.

"I'll be right back." she said looking up at him as she ran towards the front door.

"I'll get her." Matt said starting to go to her.

"No, let me go." Roger said caressing Ashley's hair.

"OK Baby." Ashley said looking up at him as Brandon put his arms around his mother.

"Chloe. Are you OK sweetie?" he asked catching up with her. She was sitting in the doorway of the store next to the club.

"I'm sorry Roger. This night is about you and Ashley and here I am breaking down." she said looking up at him, her face was tear stained and her eye make up was smudged.

"It's OK. You know, Ash cried the first time I sung that song to her? And the second, and the third, and every time after that." he told her laughing as he remembered.

"I can't believe this is the last time you're gonna be singing that to her from up there." she said crying as he sat next to her.

"It's just time, you know?" he said putting is arm around her shoulder.

"But we're not ready to lose you Roger. You're our world. I can't imagine our lives when you're gone." she said crying harder as Roger brought her close to him.

"You know Chloe, I may have raised 2 sons, but you're my daughter too." he said kissing her head.

"I know Roger. You make sure I know it every day. I feel really lucky to be in this family. Even with all the loss we have to deal with, it's still the best family a girl could have." she said looking up at him.

"You know, I used to do that song last all the time and afterwards, me and Ash used to come out here and she would be crying and laughing and we'd tell each other we loved each other and then we'd go back inside and hang out for a drink or 2 with everyone and then we'd go home." he said smiling up at the spot in front of the club where he and Ashley would stand in each others arms.

"Yeah, Matty told me. He really worships you guys, you know?" Chloe said looking up at him.

"We worship him too." he said smiling down at her.

"Roger, you don't need to worry about Matty, Ashley and Brandon. I'll take care of them for you." Chloe said wiping her eyes again.

"I know you will sweetie. I love you, you know?" he said leaning down to kiss her head.

"I know, I love you too Roger." she said looking up at him.

"Come on, let's go back inside. Your poor husband must be going crazy. He knows you can't resist us Davis men." Roger laughed smiling down at her.

"He is his fathers son, isn't he?" she laughed putting her hair behind her ears.

"He's a good man Thank you for loving my son the way his mother loves me." Roger said wiping his eyes.

"You and Ashley are really great together. I'm sorry I didn't get to see you guys sing together more." Chloe told him as they got up.

"Me too sweetie." he said kissing her forehead as he pulled her into an embrace.As they entered the club, Matt rushed over to them.

"Are you OK Baby?" he asked holding her face in his hands.

"Yeah Matty, I'm fine." she said smiling up at Roger who had started towards Ashley and Brandon.

"Thanks for taking care of my girl." he said smiling down at Brandon.

"Anytime dad. She's my girl too." he said caressing Ashley's cheek.

"Is everything OK Baby?" Ashley asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, I just had to have a one on one with my daughter." he said smiling over at Matt and Chloe who were now laughing with Brandon as Maureen played with his hair.

"They're all ours, aren't they?" Ashley asked smiling at them as Roger held her close to him.

"Yeah they are. I love you Ash." he whispered looking down at her.

"I love you too Roger." she said smiling up at him with tears in her eyes.

"We didn't get to do our ritual." he said wiping her tears.

"That's OK. Chloe needed you." she said leaning up to kiss him. "Now, why don't we have a drink? I want to make a toast to my husband's last performance." she said wiping her face more.

"OK Ash Baby. Anything you want." he said as they went to the bar.


	59. Chapter 59

"Mark, do you think I'm being selfish by not going to the hospital?" Roger asked looking upat Mark, who was sitting on Ashley and Rogers bed watching tv.

"No, I don't Rog. You want to spend the time you have left with Ash, Chloe and the boys. Why do you ask?" he asked looking over at him.

"I don't know, I mean, I don't want Ash to keep taking care of me. It's my job to take care of her..." he started before he went into a coughing fit.

"Rog." Mark called out looking at him concerned.

"I'm fine. See, this is what I mean. Every cough, every fever and Ash is off and running. For water, ibuprophen, orange juice and soup like it's gonna cure me. I'm never gonna be cured." he said coughing again.

"Roger, you and Ash have always taken care of each other. That's why you guys are the heart of this family. The way you are with each other and the boys gives the rest of us peace, you know? Like true love isn't only possible, it's real. And you guys are it." Mark said as Roger looked up at him.

"I just don't want to be a burden on her, you know?" he said looking up at him.

"Roger, Ashley has loved you most of your life. Does she look like you're being a burden on her?" Mark asked leaning his elbow on Ashley's pillows.

"No, but you know Ash. She's taking care of me, and the kids and I'm afraid she's gonna start neglecting herself again and end up in the hospital. I don't want anything to happen to her. I couldn't take it." he said with tears in his eyes.

"Roger, do you think she'd be able to handle it if you went into the hospital?" Mark asked looking over at him.

"I know Mark, I just can't stand it. Her taking care of me like this. She should be living her life with the kids and she's too busy taking care of me." he said crying into his hands.

"Roger, like it or not, you and Ash are each others lives. You always were." Mark said looking over at him.

"From the moment I met her, I couldn't live without her." Roger said looking up at him.

"I remember." Mark said smiling as he remembered that day.

_29 years earlier_

"_Did you call her yet?" Mark asked as he and Collins walked into the loft._

"_Yeah. We're meeting her and Kelly at the Life Cafe." Roger said calmly as he walked over to the couch and plopped down._

"_Who, that girl you met last night?" Collins asked sitting next to him._

"_Yeah, she's really cool." Roger said staring at the phone number again. He couldn't stop staring at it since last night and knew the phone number by heart already._

"_Look at you boy. She's more than cool." Collins said putting his arm around Roger's shoulder._

"_Shut up. She's the first girl since Mimi left me that I feel comfortable with." Roger said smiling before he got up and sat on the window seat._

"_I can tell. You must really like her." Collins said looking back at him smiling._

"_Yeah I do. She's funny, beautiful, a nurse and she loves boy bands. What's not to like?" Roger said smiling as he looked out the window._

"_Boy bands, like New Kids on the Block and Menudo?" Collins asked laughing._

"_Yeah, so. I think it's cute. I personally don't like them, but I think it's cute that she would tell somebody that about herself." Roger told him looking back at him._

"_She must really like you if she was willing to admit that to you. That's cool." Collins said smiling before directing his attention to Mark. "And who's this Kelly?" he asked teasingly as Mark looked away._

"_She's Ashley's roommate. At first she was just talking to me to get info on Roger, but then we started talking about ourselves and I think she likes me." Mark said blushing._

"_That is really cool. I'm so sorry I had to miss your show last night. It looks like I missed a lot." Collins said as he looked at the clock. "It's 5, I got a Life Support meeting to go to. I'll give everyone your regards. Good luck on your double date." he continued smiling as he left the loft._

"_Oh shit, I gotta go in the shower. We're meeting the girls soon." Roger said jumping off of the window seat and rushing to his room so fast he almost over shot it because he was sliding on his socks._

"_Calm down Roger, we have plenty of time." Mark said laughing at him._

"_I have to shower, shave, blow dry my hair." Roger said standing at his dresser to pick out clothes._

"_Roger, why do you need to blow dry your hair?" Mark said laughing harder._

"_If I don't it'll do that curly thing it does. And I hate that." Roger said picking out a sleeveless button up shirt and a pair of light blue jeans. They were less worn than the rest._

"_Roger has a date." Mark teased sitting on Roger's bed._

"_It's not a date. We're just hanging out. The four of us." Roger said picking out a pair of socks._

"_Oh yeah, like you ever get this crazed over your wardrobe and your hair when we're just hanging out with Maureen, Joanne and Collins." Mark said laughing._

"_Mark, why are you hasseling me?" Roger asked standing over him._

"_I'm not Rog. I'm just playing around. I think it's cute that you're getting all worked up over a girl you talked to last night for 2 hours and didn't kiss." Mark said smiling at him as Roger got a towel out of the closet._

"_I know, but Mark, she is the first girl I've talked to since Mimi left last year and I really like her." he said looking back at him._

"_I can tell. Just let me know when you get out of the shower so I can go in." Mark said smiling before leaving the room._

* * *

"_Are you ready Mark?" Roger asked putting his leather jacket on as Mark rushed around the loft putting his camera in it's bag._

"_Yeah, but Roger we're gonna be early." Mark said laughing._

"_I wanna meet them at the subway." Roger said rushing into the bathroom to look in the mirror one last time before he and Mark rushed out the door._

"_This is really cute, Roger. Seeing you like this." Mark said laughing as they rushed to the nearest subway station to the Life Cafe._

"_Oh quit it." Roger said as they walked swiftly to the train station smiling at him._

"Yeah, you and Collins got a kick out of how pathetic I was." Roger said smiling.

"I knew she was gonna be around a long time. Even back then." Mark said smiling with him.

"How could I not fall for her Mark? She's beautiful, I was comfortable talking to her and she made me feel so alive. From that first night I knew I was gonna love her for the rest of my life." he said smiling at him.

"Yeah, you guys talked for 2 hours and you didn't even kiss her." Mark said laughing.

"It made her seem so mysterious, you know? I was intrigued." he said laughing with him.

"Apparently. You guys haven't been apart one day in 29 years." Mark said as the bedroom door opened.

"Hey boys. What's so funny?" Ashley asked as she and Kelly entered the room.

"Just remembering the first day we hung out." Roger said as Kelly went around the bed to sit next to Mark and Ashley sat next to Roger.

"Our date at the Life Cafe." Ashley said smiling down at him.

"Yeah, you guys were flirting on over drive on the way to the cafe." Kelly said laughing as Mark put his arm around her.

"Well, I couldn't get him out of my mind since we left the club. I was excited to see him again." Ashley said as Roger took her hand.

"And you guys met us at the subway, even though it was no where near the loft." Kelly said laughing.

"Yeah, that was Roger's idea." Mark said as Ashley caressed Roger's face.

"I thought it was cute." Ashley said laughing.

_29 years earlier_

"_Roger, Mark. I thought we were meeting at the cafe?" Ashley asked coming up the stairs seeing Roger and Mark standing at the top of the steps._

"_Yeah, we just thought we'd pick you up on the way. Since we were here and everything." Roger said playing it cool._

"_Right." Mark said laughing looking at Kelly who was smiling at him._

"_Shall we go?" Roger said looking down at Ashley._

"_Sure." she said smiling up at him._

"_So has Roger been as pathetic talking about Ashley as Ashley was talking about Roger?" Kelly asked walking with Mark behind Roger and Ashley._

"_Probably worse." Mark said as he and Kelly laughed._

"_Yeah, Ashley didn't sleep at all last night and she started getting ready as soon as she hung up the phone." Kelly said as they watched Roger and Ashley flirt with each other in front of them._

"_Great. This is gonna be a long night." Mark said laughing as Kelly looked at him._

"_It doesn't have to be." she said smiling at him._

"_So what did you do today?" Ashley asked looking up at Roger._

"_Just hung out in the loft writing some songs. Nothing exciting. How about you?" he said looking down at her with his hands shoved in his front pockets._

"_Laundry. I hate laundry." she said smiling at him._

"_Me too. But it has to get done, right?" he said opening the door to the cafe._

"_I know." she said laughing as she entered the cafe first._

"You always thought he was cute." Kelly said laughing.

"Well he always is cute." Ashley said leaning down to kiss Roger. "Are you feeling OK Baby? Do you need anything?" she asked caressing his face.

"Nah, I'm fine. I got everything I need right here." he said smiling at her.

"You always say that." Ashley said smiling at him.

"Well you're always all I need." he said taking her hand in his and bringing it to his lips to kiss it.

* * *

"Hey dad, can I come in?" Brandon asked seeing Roger laying in bed watching tv.

"Sure dude. I don't know how your grandma used to watch these." he laughed as he turned off a soap opera.

"Remember grandpa used to call them dope operas?" he asked laughing as he laid on Ashley's side of the bed propping his head on his elbow.

"I know, I'm so glad your mother never got into these dumb ass shows." he said laughing as he looked up at Brandon. "So how was school today?" he asked directing his attention to his son.

"It was good. I finally asked Angie out." he told him excitedly as Roger looked at him smiling.

"Oh really? I take it she said yes." he said smiling at him.

"Yeah she did. I have a date with her on friday night." he said smiling.

"I am so happy for you Brandon. See? I told you to take a chance." he said patting his sons leg.

"I know dad. Were you ever scared to ask a girl out?" Brandon asked looking over at him.

"I was scared to ask your mom out." he said as his green eyes started to glisten.

_29 years earlier_

"_So." Ashley started looking up at Roger._

"_So." Roger answered back shoving his hands in his front pockets standing in front of her._

"_Roger, would you just kiss me already please. This awkwardness is killing me." Ashley said taking a hold of the front of his shirt and bringing him towards her._

"_I'm sorry. I'm not really good at this first kiss stuff." he told her smiling down at her inches from her face._

"_Roger..." she began before he took her face in his hands and kissed her. It was the perfect first kiss. The hair on the back of Ashley's neck stood on end and she got chills up and down her body, even though it was mid May and the weather was very mild. Roger's heart almost pounded out of his chest._

"_How was that?" he asked smiling at her._

"_Pretty good." she answered giggling._

"_I'll give you pretty good." he told her before kissing her again more passionately this time._

"_Now that was great. We should go back inside. Kelly and Mark are probably exchanging awkward glances at each other." Ashley said laughing._

"_One more thing. Will you go out with me? I mean, be my girlfriend?" he asked her before kissing her one last time._

"_Of course I will Roger. But if you keep doing that, I'm not gonna want to go back inside." she said laughing into his chest._

"You loved mom from the first time you met her, didn't you?" Brandon asked seeing Roger's smile.

"Yeah I did. But I was so scared at first. I was an awkward dork." he said laughing.

"What do you mean?" Brandon asked laughing with him.

"Well I was no good at the dating thing and I was afraid I was gonna mess up with her. Your mom was so different from the first moment I met her." he said smiling at him.

"_Hey, you're Roger Davis aren't you?" the young woman asked sitting on her barstool next to her friend._

"_Yeah. You were here last week, right?" he replied looking into her deep blue eyes._

"_Yeah. I'm Ashley McCoy. I'm a huge fan. And this is my roommate Kelly." she said holding her hand out to shake Roger's._

"_Well thank you Ashley. Nice to meet you Kelly. Can I buy you ladies a drink?" he asked leaning on the bar smiling at her._

"_Sure. Beer is fine." she said as she smiled back at him._

"_Thank you Roger." Kelly said smiling uncomfortably at him._

"_Great. So did you like the set?" he asked shouting over the juke box._

"_Yeah, you guys really rock." she said picking up her drink gazing into his green eyes._

"_Well thanks. So tell me about yourself." he asked drinking his beer._

"_What do you want to know?" she asked taking a sip of hers._

"_Where are you from? How old are you? What are you doing in a place like this?" he asked laughing as she looked up at him._

"_Well, I'm from Queens, I'm 24 and I heard there was this band whose lead singer looked like Jon Bon Jovi, so here I am. But you guys don't sound like Bon Jovi." she said laughing back._

"_Really? They're saying I look like Jon Bon Jovi?" Roger asked amused by that statement._

"_Yeah. Not that I think you do." Ashley told him playing with her long golden blond hair._

"_Thanks. I think." he told her laughing._

"_No, it's a good thing. You have nicer eyes. Now it's your turn. Tell me about yourself." she told him touching his arm._

"_Well, I'm 27, I'm from Upstate New York and I've been playing rock since I was 12, so I came here to try to get famous." he said smiling down at her._

"_Really? Well with a voice like yours, it won't be long. You're amazing." she told him sipping her beer._

"_Thanks. Um, do you play pool?" Roger asked looking down at her hand._

"_A little. But I'm not really good." she answered smiling._

"_That's OK. I'll teach you." he told her taking her hand and leading her to the pool table. As he began to teach her how to play pool, she smiled each time he got close to her. He taught her how to hold the stick and line up shots._

* * *

"_Do I look like I'm getting the hang of it, or do I just look like a total blond?" she asked laughing as they completed the "lesson"._

"_No, you're getting some of it. Let's go outside I need a cigarette." he said laughing with her before taking her hand._

"_OK. Kelly, I'll be right back." she said to her friend on her way out the door following Roger into the beautiful May night.._

"_So where do you live now?" he asked leaning up against the wall taking out a cigarette and lighting it._

"_I still live in Queens, but I love coming and hanging out in the city. The clubs are better and they have better bands." she said smiling up at him sipping her beer._

"_Oh yeah?" he said smiling at her taking a drag of his cigarette._

"_Well I work in the city too, so I just get changed at work and meet Kelly here." she said standing in front of him._

"_Where do you work?" he asked looking down at her._

"_At a clinic in the East Village. I'm a nurse." she said flipping her hair behind her shoulder._

"_That's cool. So what was your favorite song we did?" he asked shifting his legs._

"_I liked that one you did talking about some girls eyes. It was really nice." she said flipping her hair back. He loved how her hair seemed to sparkle in the moonlight._

"_Yeah, I kind of wrote it for a girl. It's a long story." he said laughing. His smile knocked her socks off. It was so big and real. Not like the other guys she'd met in bars. When he laughed his shoulder length dirty blond hair would bounce. She envied his hair. Hers was damaged and his looked so perfect. He was wearing a black tank top that had the Harley Davidson emblem on it the showed off his cool celtic tattoo and you could see his muscles each time he'd take a sip of beer or bring the cigarette to his perfect lips. Their conversation was awkward, but she loved just being with him. He was funny and didn't take himself too seriously._

"_Well, you do it really great. It's my favorite. But I like boy bands, so what do I know?" she said smiling up at him._

"_Boy bands? Like New Kids on the Block, boy bands?" he asked looking at her funny._

"_Yeah, what's wrong with boy bands?" she asked smiling at him._

"_Nothing, but if I ever played a boy band type song, I wouldn't have an audience for long." he said laughing._

"_Good point. So where do you live?" she agreed laughing with him._

"_11th and Ave. A." he said standing up straight._

"_Oh my god, I love that building. Have you ever been to the Life Cafe? I love their burgers." she asked laughing._

"_Yeah, I go there all the time. I usually get a bacon burger." he told her smiling._

"_I love their bacon burgers." she said finding it amusing that they had something else in common._

"_Do you need a refill?" Roger asked drinking the last of his beer throwing out his cigarette._

"_Yeah, I could use another one." she said smiling as they opened the door for her and stopping at the bar to order another round for them. Ashley felt bad for ditching Kelly, but she seemed to be talking to Mark, so she was happy._

"_Isn't that your roommate and my roommate?" Roger pointed out with one hand on her shoulder. Her skin was so soft. She was wearing a backless shirt and he could see all her freckles._

"_Yeah, go Kelly." Ashley said smiling as she turned to look up at Roger._

"_Go Mark." Roger said laughing as he looked down at her._

"_Should we go over there?" she asked taking her beer off of the bar._

"_Nah, leave them. It's about time Mark spoke to a girl. He's really shy when it comes to girls, so this is a big step for him." Roger said taking his beer and leading Ashley to a table in the back away from the juke box speakers._

"_So tell me about the girl you wrote that song for. Are you still with her?" Ashley asked sitting across the table from him._

"_No, not anymore. She broke up with me last year." he said swigging his beer._

"_Oh, I'm so sorry Roger." she said reaching over the table to touch his arm._

"_It's OK. I'm over her. We had a lot of problems." he told her looking down at the initials carved on the table of a couple he didn't know._

"_I get what you mean. My ex liked my friends too much. He used to hit on all of them. Especially when we went out." Ashley told him smiling at him._

"_Well, our problems weren't quite that simple." he said about to tell her his HIV status._

"_What do you mean?" she asked as he peaked her interest._

"_Well she was a junkie and I was an ex junkie, so that didn't work. And also we were both HIV positive, so that was a worry." he told her trying to read her reaction._

"_I'm sorry Roger. How long have you been positive?" she asked concerned, but not scared off._

"_3 years. But I take my meds and just live my life. Did I scare you off yet?" he asked half kidding._

"_No you didn't Roger. Remember, I'm a nurse? I like you. I respect you telling me. HIV isn't a death sentence anymore and as long as you take care of yourself, you'll be fine." she told him smiling at him taking his hand in hers._

"_Really?" he said smiling but a bit surprised._

"_Yes Roger really. I'm a nurse, remember? I know how you get HIV and I know to prevent it." she said smiling as he caressed her hand with his thumb._

"_You're not..." he began until she cut him off._

"_No, I'm not HIV positive. But I'm not afraid of you." she said tilting her head smiling at him._

"_That means a lot. I like you too." he told her smiling at her._

"_Well, I gotta go. Kelly has an early day tomorrow and we don't like to ride the trains alone. But I'm gonna give you my number, so you can call me. I really had fun with you." she told him looking at Kelly before writing her phone number on his hand with a pen from her back pocket._

"_I will definitely call you. Tomorrow." he said as they got up._

"_OK. Then I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye Roger." she said as she went over to Kelly and they left the bar. As Ashley left with Kelly, Mark made his way to the table where Roger was sitting still staring at the phone number on his hand._

"Why didn't you kiss mom that first night?" Brandon asked smiling at him.

"I was scared to. I told her I was HIV positive that first night and she wasn't scared of me. It was weird. I mean, telling her I was HIV positive as we were talking was one thing, but kissing her and starting a relationship with her was totally different. I didn't want to hurt her." he said looking up at him with tears in his eyes.

"Dad, mom's not sorry. She never was." he said looking over at him.

"I know, but I am Brand. I'm sorry I gave her HIV." he said starting to cry.

"Dad, you have nothing to be sorry about. You guys love each other. Mom's gonna be OK you know." he said leaning over to hug his father.

"I know son." he said as they both cried.


	60. Chapter 60

"Ash Baby, I'm so sorry. For everything." Roger cried as he shivered under the covers of their bed.

"Roger Matthew Davis, you stop it right now. You have nothing to be sorry about. Now rest." she said with her body wrapped around him in an attempt to warm him.

"Ash, I'm sorry for making you sick. It's the last thing I ever wanted." he said looking over at her.

"Roger, I said stop it. All you've ever done was love me. So what I contracted HIV. I love you and I do not regret it. Any of it." she said looking over at him as tears fell from her eyes.

"Ash, where are the kids?" he asked as tears escaped his eyes.

"Chloe's making dinner and Matty and Brandon are hooking up the new sound system in the basement. Why?" she asked leaning up to look him.

"I wanna see them." he said turning to her.

"Not now Roger. Don't you dare leave me now. Not today." she said starting to cry.

"Ash Baby, please. I need to see them." he begged crying with her.

"Roger, it's Christmas. Please, no." she cried as he reached over to caress her face.

"Ashley, I love you. You have given me the most amazing life. We've had more time than we ever thought we had, but I can hear him. He's calling me." he said as tears fell from his eyes.

"What are you talking about Roger?" she asked sitting up.

"It's my time Ash Baby. He's waiting for me." he said again looking over at her.

"Who? Collins?" she asked quietly looking at him.

"Yeah Baby. He's calling me. I need to say good bye to the kids." he said looking over at her.

"Not yet Roger. Tell him not yet. Not today, please." she cried laying her head on his chest.

"I'm sorry Ash Baby." he said as Chloe knocked on the door.

"Ash, Roger, dinner's almost ready." she called out hearing Ashley crying.

"Chloe sweetie, come in." Roger called out caressing Ashley's head.

"Is everything OK?" she asked seeing Ashley holding on to Roger tightly.

"Can you get the boys Chloe? Please?" Ashley asked wiping her eyes as she sat up.

"No, not yet... Roger, not yet. We're not ready, please." she began starting to cry.

"Chloe honey, it's OK. Please just get the boys." Ashley said trying to regain her composure.

"OK. I'll be right back." she said turning and rushing down the stairs.

"Hurry sweetie." Ashley called out wrapping her arms around Roger. "It's OK Baby. I'm right here and the kids will be here soon. It's OK." she cried holding him tight.

"Mom dad, what's going on?" Brandon asked running in as Matt and Chloe followed him.

"It's time guys." Roger said quietly as tears formed in their eyes.

"No, dad. It's Christmas. You haven't heard the new sound system." Matt cried kneeling on the floor next to the bed.

"I'm sorry Matt." he whispered looking down at him.

"Dad, it's OK. We love you. We're here dad." Brandon cried sitting next to Ashley.

"Brandon, I love you boys so much. I've seen you two grow into fine young men. I'm so proud of you." he said looking up at him.

"Roger, we love you." Chloe said sitting next to Matt on the floor.

"I love you too Chloe." he said reaching out for her hand. "I am so glad to have you as a daughter. I never thought of having a daughter until Matty brought you home to us." he said smiling at her as she cried with Matt.

"Dad, are you OK? I mean, are you in any pain?" Brandon asked holding Ashley's hand.

"No, I'm not little man. I have my family with me. I'm at peace." he told him smiling at him.

"We love you dad." Matt said through his tears.

"I love you too Matty. The day you came into my life is one of the greatest days of my life." he said remembering the day he and Ashley met him.

"_Roger, Ashley. I would like you to meet your son Roger Matthew Davis." Mr. Anderson told them as the nurse took the baby out of the bassinette._

"_Hi Roger Matthew." Ashley said quietly as the nurse placed the baby into her arms._

"_How is he?" Roger asked smiling down at him._

"_He's doing just fine. You can take him home in a couple days. He's been on his meds since birth and he's got an excellent chance of living a normal healthy life." the nurse told them smiling as Roger caressed the baby's cheek._

"_He's even more beautiful then in his picture." Ashley said smiling up at Roger._

"_Yeah, he is." Roger said as tears formed in his eyes._

"_Do you want to hold him?" Ashley asked smiling up at him._

"_Yeah I do." he answered smiling as Ashley handed the baby to him. "Hey buddy. I'm your dad." he whispered to him rocking him back and forth._

"_We'll give you three some time alone to get to know each other. If you need us we'll be over there." Mr. Anderson told them smiling at them._

"_Thank you Mr. Anderson." Roger said wiping his tears._

"_No problem Roger. I'm just glad I could help." he told him smiling as he watched the new family together._

"_Can you believe it?" Ashley asked smiling up at Roger._

"_No I can't. He's incredible." Roger told her smiling down at him._

"_This is our son." she told him as he sat in the rocking chair._

"_I love you Ash." he told her smiling over at her._

"_I love you too Roger." she told him kneeling next to the chair._

"_And I love you Roger Matthew." he told him leaning down to kiss the baby's head. "This is so worth everything we've been through these last 7 months." Roger told her smiling down._

"_Yeah it is." she told him caressing the baby's head._

"_You want him back?" he asked looking over at her._

"_That's OK. I like watching my boys." she told him caressing his arm._

"_Would you two like a picture for the family album?" the nurse asked holding a camera._

"_Yes please." Roger told her smiling up at her._

"_Come on, Mrs. Davis get with your boys." the nurse told Ashley as she smiled at them._

"_Can you take a picture of my boys first?" she asked standing back smiling at them._

"_Sure." the nurse said smiling at her as she took the picture of Roger and their son._

"Roger, are you OK Baby?" Ashley asked caressing his forehead.

"Yeah Ash Baby, I'm fine. I was just remembering the day we met Matty." he said turning his head to her as tears fell from his eyes.

"I remember the day you guys told me I was adopted." Matt said smiling at them through his tears.

"_Hey Matt, can you come in here for a minute please?" Roger called out from his and Ashley's bedroom._

"_Sure dad, what's up?" he asked running into the bedroom sitting on the bed._

"_Your mom and I want to tell you something and it's really important, so we want you to listen, OK?" Roger started sitting closer to Matt._

"_What's the matter dad? Is mom OK?" he asked looking at Ashley concerned._

"_I'm fine baby boy. Really." she said trying to sit up. "Come here sweetie." she said holding her arms out to him._

"_What's up mom?" he asked looking up at her as Roger turned around to face them._

"_Matt, this isn't easy for me and daddy to tell you, so just listen and if you have anything to ask us, you can when we're done, OK?" she started caressing his cheek._

"_OK mom." he said worried as Roger reached out for his hand._

"_When your mom and I got married, we started talking about having kids. We loved each other so much that we really wanted to have kids so we could share our love with them. Well, when we started talking about it, your mom came up with a great idea. She wanted to adopt a baby with HIV whose real mom couldn't take care of them. We filled out all the papers and went through all the interviews and stuff and we met the most amazing little baby." Roger started smiling at Matt with tears in his eyes._

"_Me?" Matt asked looking up at Ashley._

"_Yeah baby boy. You. From the second we saw you we fell in love with you. Daddy and I wanted to give you all the love you deserved. And the day we brought you home was the happiest day of our lives." she told him as he leaned his head against Ashley's chest as she played with his hair._

"_Do you have any questions for me or your mom?" Roger asked moving closer to Matt._

"_You guys picked me to love?" he asked looking up at him._

"_Yes Matt, we did. We wanted to be your parents so badly." Roger said wiping his eyes._

"_So even though I didn't come out of mommy's belly like this baby is, you love me and you're my parents?" he asked looking up at Ashley._

"_With all of our hearts and souls." Ashley told him smiling down at him._

"_I love you guys too. You are the best parents in the whole world." he said looking at Roger._

"_You're the best kid in the world buddy." he said pulling Matt to him and hugging him tight. "We love you so much Matt. This baby is not gonna change that. Nothing could." he continued caressing his sons hair._

"_I know dad. I'm glad you wanted me to be your kid." he said as Ashley began to cry._

"_Oh buddy, it looks like mommy's getting jealous." Roger said wiping his eyes smiling at Ashley._

"_You're the best mom. I love you." Matt said wrapping his arms around her neck._

"_You're not too bad yourself kiddo. I love you so much." she said holding Matt in her arms._

"_Are you OK buddy?" Roger asked smiling at Matt._

"_I'm great dad. Really." he said smiling at them._

"_How about you and your dad go out for some ice cream? Bring me back some Chocolate with chocolate sprinkles." Ashley said wiping her eyes smiling up at Roger._

"_Cool. Can we dad?" Matt asked excitedly._

"_Ash, I don't want to leave you." Roger said looking over to her._

"_Roger, I'm fine. The baby's moving around a lot. Nothing's happening tonight." she told him smiling up at him._

"_Are you sure?" he asked reaching over to caress her cheek._

"_Roger, I'm a nurse. I'm pretty positive. Go. Just bring some back for me." she said smiling at him._

"_Go get your shoes on buddy. Looks like mommy wants ice cream tonight." Roger said smiling as Matt hopped off the bed._

"_Thanks dad. You're the best." he said running into his room._

"_We got some kid in there, huh?" she said smiling at him._

"_Well duh? We've known that for 8 years." Roger said leaning in to kiss her._

"_I think we did pretty damn good, don't you?" she asked smiling at him._

"_Yeah Baby, we did great." he told her before turning around to put his boots on._

"_So dad, can I have a banana split with 3 kinds of ice cream?" Matt asked standing in the doorway putting his jacket on._

"_How about we get father son banana splits." he asked fixing the bottoms of his pants before getting off of the bed._

"_Awesome. Thanks dad." he said excitedly as he ran over to Ashley._

"_We'll be right back mom. I love you." he said leaning in to kiss Ashley on the cheek._

"_I love you too baby boy." she said hugging her son._

"That was the night I was born, right mom?" Brandon asked looking over at them.

"Yeah it was little man." Roger said reaching out for both of his boys hands. "I love you boys so much. You mean everything to me." he continued holding back tears.

"You're the best dad we could ever have. Thank you for loving us dad." Matt said squeezing Roger's hand.

"Thanks for being our dad." Brandon said as Ashley wrapped her arm around him.

"Thank you for being my dad too Roger. I'll never forget you." Chloe said through her tears.

"I love you kids so much. All 3 of you." Roger said smiling at them as they each got up and hugged him. When Roger was diagnosed, he feared he would die alone, but here he was. With a family and love to spare. As each kid hugged him, they told him how much they loved him before leaving the room. Soon it was just him and Ashley.

"Alone at last." she said through her tears.

"I love you Ashley. Thank you for talking to me that night and loving me for all these years. I would be nothing without you." he whispered as she laid down next to him.

"Roger Matthew Davis, talking to you that night has been the greatest thing I've ever done in my life and loving you has been the easiest. You gave me the most amazing life. No woman in the world has had the love and care you've given me all these years." she whispered caressing his face as she leaned her head into his and cried. When she didn't get a response, she knew Roger was gone. Her beloved Roger, who had taken such good care of her was gone. "I love you Roger my love. Say hi to Collins, Angel and Mimi for me, OK?" she whispered leaning over to kiss his lips one last time before laying her head on his chest and crying.


	61. Chapter 61

"Ash, are you OK?" Mark asked as Ashley stood in the doorway of the church crying.

"No, I'm not Mark. How am I supposed to go in there and say goodbye to the love of my life? I'm not ready." she asked looking up at him.

"I know. It's hard to believe he's really gone, huh?" he asked taking her into his arms.

"Yeah it is. How am I supposed to breathe without him? He was my life." she asked looking up at him.

"I know Ash, but he's still with you you know. He's never gonna leave you. He could never leave you. You guys loved each other too much." he whispered caressing her hair as she cried into his shoulder.

"Mark, how do we keep doing this and go on?" she asked crying harder.

"I don't know, we just do. We have to. I've lost a lot of friends to this and I still don't know why." he said holding back his own tears.

"This is crazy. How come we keep doing this?" she asked crying.

"Ash, everything's gonna be OK. Him, Collins, Angel and Mimi are looking out for us." he said kissing her head.

"I know. I'm just really gonna miss having him in my life Mark. I've never woken up without him. Not even when I was in the hospital. He always stayed with me." she said crying into his chest.

"He's still gonna be looking out for you and the boys Ash. You have to believe that." Mark said holding her tight.

"I just hope Collins, Angel and Mimi'll take care of him for me. " she said looking up at him.

"Don't worry Ash. He'll be fine." he said kissing her head again as Kelly and Michelle came out looking for them.

"There you are. We're almost ready to start." Michelle said quietly looking over at them.

"I can't do this Mark." she cried as Michelle and Kelly rushed over to them.

"Honey, it's OK. Just lean on us, OK? We're right here." Kelly said putting her arms around her and Mark as Michelle looked on crying.

"We're here Ash. We'll always be here." Michelle said wiping her eyes.

"He made me so happy Michelle. Happier than I ever thought I'd be." Ashley said looking up at Michelle.

"You made my brother happy too you know. After he was diagnosed, we didn't hear from him for almost a year. And then when he did call, it was only once in a while. But then he met you and we talked to him all the time. He was so excited. I remember him calling mom and dad the day he told them you guys moved in together." Michelle said smiling at her.

_29 years earlier_

"_Hi mom." Roger said speaking into the phone as he sat in his and Ashley's apartment._

"_Roger, how are you sweetie? Are you taking care of yourself? Are you taking your meds? How's Mark and Collins and everyone?" she asked excited to hear her sons voice._

"_Mom, calm down. I'm fine. I'm taking care of myself and yes, I'm taking my meds. Um mom, I just called to tell you, I met someone." he said sitting back on the couch._

"_Oh Roger, that's wonderful. But what happened to Mimi? Is she OK?" she asked concerned knowing she may not want to know the answer to the last question._

"_Mimi left mom. Last year after she got out of the hospital. But a couple of weeks ago I met a girl in the club where me and my new band are playing." he told her smiling as he looked at the pictures of Ashley and her family on the living room walls._

"_I'm sorry about Mimi sweetie. So tell me about this girl." she said smiling._

"_Her name is Ashley and she's amazing mom. She's a nurse and we moved in together. I love her mom. And she loves me." he said leaning back on the couch._

"_That's wonderful Roger. She's not..." she started as Roger interrupted her._

"_No mom. She's negative. I can't wait for you guys to meet her. I makes me so happy mom. I wanna marry her." he said running his fingers through his hair._

"_That's great Roger. I'm so happy for you. I can't wait to meet her." she said smiling at the pictures of Roger that adorned the house._

"_We live in Queens around the corner from her parents. They know about my HIV and they accept me. You and dad will really like them. They're really cool mom." he said excitedly as he put his feet up on the coffee table._

"_Roger, I am so glad you're happy. It's been a long time since I've heard you this happy." she said happy that her son was so happy._

"_Thanks mom. I love you guys, you know that, right?" he asked sitting up._

"_Of course we know that Roger. We've always known that. You're a good man Roger, mistakes and all. I'm happy to hear you're playing again." she said as a tear came to her eyes._

"_Thanks mom. I gotta go. Ashley'll be home from the clinic soon and I want to make her dinner. I'll talk to you and dad later, OK?" he said looking up at the clock on the VCR._

"_OK sweetie. You make sure you and Ashley take care of each other, OK? I love you Roger." she said smiling as she wiped the tears from her eyes._

"_We will mom. We love each other. I love you too mom. Tell dad and Michelle I love them too, OK?" he said smiling._

"_I will sweetie. Bye." she said before they hung up the phone._

"He was so happy. Mom said she had never heard him sound happier than he was that day." Michelle said wiping the tears that had escaped her eyes.

"He was the most wonderful husband and father I could have ever asked for for myself and the boys." Ashley said crying as Michelle reached out for her.

"You brought out the best in him Ash. He always said you were his life." Michelle said caressing her hair as Ashley cried into her shoulder.

"Guys, they want to start now." Adam said quietly as he came out of the church.

"OK Adam, thank you. I need to pull myself together for the kids. This is hard enough on them as it is without seeimg me fall apart." Ashley said pulling back from Michelle wiping her eyes.

"The kids are fine. They're just worried about you." Kelly said looking over at her best friend.

"I know. Poor Brandon has taken it upon himself to administer my meds and make sure I take time. I think he's afraid I'm gonna stop taking them so I can be with Roger." Ashley said holding back more tears.

"He just loves you Ash. He doesn't want to let Roger down by letting anything happen to you." Kelly said putting Ashley's hair behind her ears.

"He could never let Roger down. Roger is so proud of those kids. Matty and Brandon for the men they've turned into and Chloe for what she's brought to this family. None of them could ever let him down." Ashley said wiping her eyes.

"I know sweetie. Are you ready? We have to go in now." Kelly said looking over at her.

"Yeah, I'm ready. Thanks guys. I love you all so much." she said looking up at everyone.

"You don't need to thank us Ash. We owe you so much. You gave Roger the life he deserved and then some. We would do anything for you." Adam said smiling down at her as he put his arms around Michelle.

"All I ever did was try to take care of my family." she said looking up at him.

"You did that Ash, and you continue to do that." Michelle said smiling over at her.

"Now let's go in there and honor Roger Davis." Mark said smiling at her.

"OK. I'm ready." she said as everyone went into the church.

"Mom, are you OK?" Brandon asked rushing over to her as she entered the church.

"Yeah sweetie. I'm OK. Come on, it's time to honor your dad." she said with her arm around him as they sat in the pew next to Matt and Chloe.

"What I will miss most about Roger is witnessing his love for Ashley. I remember the night they met. They sat and talked for 2 hours and he didn't even kiss her. I remember thinking I'd never seen him smile so much. When Ash left, I went over to him and he was still smiling." Mark remembered as he stood at the head of the church talking about Roger.

_29 years earlier_

"_What was that?" Mark asked sitting across from where Roger was._

"_What do you mean?" Roger asked looking up at him._

"_You know what I mean. You've been talking to Ashley for 2 hours and the she just leaves. You don't kiss her or anything." Mark said with a smirk._

"_Mark, I was just talking to her. I noticed you talking up her roommate over there." Roger pointed out smirking back._

"_Yeah well she saw me with you and decided to pump me for information." Mark said setting his camera on the table._

"_Sorry man." Roger said looking up._

"_Don't be. I think she likes me. She told me to get her number from you." Mark said laughing._

"_Nice." he said laughing along._

"_So are you gonna call Ashley?" Mark asked sitting back._

"_Definitely. I like her. And yes I told her about my HIV and she's cool with it. Not in a weird way or anything. She's a nurse, and she said she likes me and she's not gonna let my HIV stand in her way." Roger said unable to get the smile off of his face._

"_Cool. Are you ready to leave?" Mark asked smiling back at him._

"_Yeah, let's go." Roger said getting up as he set some money on the bar to tip the bartender and grabbed his guitar from the stage then he and Mark left._

"_So what did you and Ashley talk about?" Mark asked as they walked home._

"_Well, she's 24, she lives in Queens, she's a nurse in a clinic around here, loves the Life Cafe, Bon Jovi and boy bands." he answered laughing as Mark looked over at him._

"_Boy bands?" Mark asked trying not to laugh._

"_Yeah, she's really cool. I can't wait to call her tomorrow." Roger said picturing her golden blond hair and blue eyes._

"_I'm glad." Mark said as they walked home the rest of the way in silence._

"Ash, you made him so happy. He loves you so much. You have given him a good life filled with the love he deserved and 3 amazing kids. Yeah Chloe, he looked at you as a daughter, but knowing Roger, you knew that already. He had a lot of love to give and I'm glad he was able to give it to you guys. Thank you guys for loving my brother." he said unable to hold back his tears. "I miss you Roger. I'll take care of them for you, just like you did. I promise." he said breaking down before going to Kelly.

"My first memory of my dad was on my first day of school. My mom was really anxious, so he told her he'd get me ready and take me to school. He knew if I started to cry, she wouldn't be able to handle it. That's how my mom always was." Matt started smiling at Ashley.

_20 years earlier_

"_Come on Matt, time for school." Roger said knocking on the 5 year olds bedroom door._

"_I don't want to go to school daddy. I wanna stay here with you." he told him sitting on the edge of his bed still in his pajamas._

"_But Matt, you have to go to school. You're a big boy now." Roger said sitting on the bed next to him._

"_But you and mommy aren't there. I don't want to go." he said looking up at him._

"_Listen Matt, you gotta go to school and learn stuff." he told him smiling down at him._

"_But you and mommy say I'm smart already." he said looking down._

"_Matt, what's going on, dude? Talk to me." Roger said bringing the boy on his lap._

"_I just want to stay here and play with you." he told him looking up at him._

"_But after I bring you to school, I'm going to work. So, you see. I'm not gonna be here to play with you." he said looking down at him._

"_Are you gonna pick me up from school?" he asked looking up at him._

"_No buddy, mommy's gonna pick you up." he said smiling at him._

"_How long do I hafta stay at school?" he asked playing with his pajamas._

"_Until the little hand is on the 3 and the big hand is on the 12." he told him smiling._

"_OK, but can we go to the park after school and get ice cream from the ice cream man?" he asked looking up at him._

"_You're gonna have to ask mommy when she picks you up." he told him as Matt jumped off of his lap._

"_OK thanks daddy." she said smiling up at him._

"_Now put on the clothes mommy picked out for you. We have to get going." he told him smiling as he got up off of the bed._

"_OK." he said starting to get dressed. Roger couldn't believe how big Matt had gotten. He was starting kindergarten already. In a way he was excited and in a way he was petrified. His little boy was growing up. It wasn't something he looked forward to. They were both still really healthy, but the older they got, the more he worried. He didn't want Ashley to have to worry about losing either one of them. She had started picking up more hours at the hospital with Matt starting school and she had already lost too many people to HIV. He wished that she would quit working with HIV positive and AIDS patients. She was so sad some days when she came home from work, it broke his heart. "Daddy, I'm ready." Matt yelled running out of his room._

"_You look like such a big boy buddy." Roger said looking down at him._

"_Can we go now? I wanna go now." Matt begged jumping at Roger's side._

"_Yeah, gimma a minute, dude." he said smiling down at him as he got Matt's bookbag off of the couch and grabbed his coffee mug. "OK, now we're ready." he said smiling at him before they left the apartment and started walking to school._

"_Daddy, am I gonna have friends?" Matt asked looking up Roger as he held his hand._

"_Of course you're gonna have friends buddy. Why do you ask that?" Roger asked looking down at him._

"_I don't know. I mean, I don't have any kid friends. I have you and mommy and Uncle Collins and Uncle Mark and Aunt Kelly and Aunt Michelle and Uncle Adam and Aunt Jessie and Uncle Noah and both gramma's and grampa's, but no kid friends. Am I allowed to have kid friends?" he asked as Roger stopped him in the middle for the sidewalk._

"_Listen Matt. The only reason why you don't have any kid friends is because mommy and daddy don't have any friends who have kids. Otherwise, you'd be the most popular kid. It's not your fault you know." he told him leaning down in front of him._

"_So I'm allowed to have kid friends?" he asked looking at him._

"_Of course you are. And you're gonna have a lot of friends when you get to school. Just don't be afraid to talk to people OK, buddy?" he said as Matt leaned in to hug him._

"_OK daddy. I promise." he said smiling at him._

"_OK, now we better get you to school. You don't wanna be late your first day, huh?" he asked kissing his head._

"_OK, I love you daddy." he said as Roger held him tighter._

"_I love you so much Matt." he said smiling at his son. "Oh, before I forget. The teacher is gonna call you Roger." he said smiling over at him._

"_But daddy, that's your name. I'm Matt." he told him looking at him confused._

"_You see Matt, your name is Roger Matthew Davis Jr. Mommy and I thought it would be better to call you Matt instead of calling you Roger and confusing everyone because that's my name too." he told him laughing a little._

"_So you and mommy named me after you?" he asked smiling at him._

"_Yeah buddy we did." he told him smiling back._

"_Cool. I'm named after you." he said excitedly as Roger stood up._

"_OK, so don't forget. The teacher calls out Roger, that's you. I mean, I can ask her to call you Matt because that's what me and mommy and everyone else call you, if you want?" he asked looking down at him._

"_No, I like that my name is Roger. It's your name." he said smiling up at him._

"_OK, but me and mommy and everyone else are still gonna call you Matt. I don't think mommy can handle yelling at 2 Roger's." Roger told him laughing._

"_Yeah, you get yelled at enough by mommy." Matt said laughing with Roger._

"_Well you get me in trouble most of the time." Roger said swinging the boy's arm._

"_No mommy says it's because you're a big kid." Matt said laughing as they approached the school._

"_Well I am." he said taking Matt's bookbag off of his shoulder and putting it on Matt's back. "Are you ready, buddy?" he asked leaning dwon to him._

"_Yeah, I'm ready daddy." he told him excitedly smiling up at him._

"_OK, have a good first day and be good. Remember I love you." he said kissing his head._

"_I love you too daddy." Matt said reaching up to hug Roger before running on to the school yard. He looked so confident as tears sprung to Roger's eyes as he watched his son run up to a group of kids and say hi. He couldn't help but laugh as he stood there watching as Matt went into the school excited._

"That was my dad, you know? He was always made sure I knew he loved me. I was so excited when I found out I was named after him. He was the greatest man I'd ever met. When I found out I was adopted, it didn't change anything. I idolized my dad and still do. If I could be half the man my dad is, I'll consider myself the luckiest man in the world." he said starting to cry, but regaining his composure. "I always loved the way he loved my mom too. No one could love my mom the way he did. I remember when I was in the hospital with an infection. My mom stayed with me the whole time. Dad would come up every day and they would argue about my mom going home and getting rest, but she insisted on staying with me. That's mom though. Dad came to the hospital one morning and mom was sleeping in the chair next to my bed." Matt said remembering that morning in the hospital.

"_Hi dad." Matt said quietly laying in his hospital bed watching TV as Ashley slept in the chair next to him. He looked much better. There was color in his face and his fever seemed to be down._

"_Hey man. You look better than you did yesterday." Roger said sitting on the bed and hugging his son._

"_I feel better. The doctors said I could go home probably tomorrow." he said hugging him._

"_You have no idea how happy your brother is gonna be to hear that. He misses you and your mom so much." Roger said looking over at Ashley who looked so peaceful._

"_I miss him too. I told mom she should go home last night, but you know mom." he said smiling at him._

"_Yeah, I know mom." he said still looking at Ashley smiling._

"_I love the way you look at her." he said looking up at Roger._

"_What do you mean?" Roger asked looking over at him._

"_You know know I mean. Like she's the only girl in the world." Matt said smiling at him._

"_Well to me she is." he said smiling back at Ashley._

"_She is really beautiful, huh?" Matt said now smiling at Ashley._

"_The most beautiful girl in the world." Roger said in barely a whisper as Ashley began to wake up._

"_You're really lucky dad." Matt said smiling at Roger._

"_Yeah I am." Roger replied smiling back at his son as Ashley smiled over at them._

"_Good morning my boys." she said smiling at them._

"_Good morning beautiful." Roger said going over to kiss her good morning._

"_How long have you been here?" Ashley asked sitting up in the chair._

"_Just a few minutes. Matt and I were just admiring the most beautiful girl in the world." he said leaning down to kiss her again._

"_Oh yeah, I look really beautiful. Maybe they should test this look on the runways in France." she laughed playing with her hair._

"_You are beautiful mom." Matt said smiling at them._

"_Thank you baby boy. How do you feel?" she asked smiling at him._

"_A lot better. The doctor came in earlier and said I could probably go home tomorrow." he answered shifting in the bed._

"_The doctor was in? When?" she asked getting up to go to the bed._

"_Before dad got here. I didn't want to wake you up. You were really tired yesterday. He said he would be back in before lunch to talk to you and dad." he said smiling up at her as she felt his head._

"_Your fever's gone." she said looking up at Roger who was standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her shoulders._

"_Doesn't he look better Baby?" he asked smiling at Matt._

"_Yeah he does, but that doesn't mean the infection's gone. Did they take blood?" she asked caressing his face._

"_No, he said the nurse would be in in a little while to do it. Mom, I feel fine. Don't worry." Matt told her as Roger kissed her head._

"_Face it buddy, she's gonna worry whether you like it or not. Trust me. I know her longer." Roger said laughing as he sat in the chair Ashley had just vacated._

"_I'm the mom, it's my job to worry." she said looking back at Roger._

"_Mom, you don't have to worry so much. I'm OK now." Matt said as Ashley looked back at him._

"_Yeah, good luck with that man. If she doesn't listen to me when I tell her not to worry, what makes you think she's gonna listen to you? Yeah right." Roger said smiling at them as he slouched down in the chair to put his head back._

"_Is it pick on mom day?" Ashley asked laughing._

"_Yeah, sorry we didn't tell you." Matt said laughing as he leaned up to hug her._

"_Yeah, yeah. You two think you are so funny, don't you?" she said kissing Matt's cheek._

"_Well you always say he's my son Baby." Roger said laughing as he looked over at them._

"_That he is." she said smiling at Roger with her arms around Matt._

"_Mom, why don't you and dad go downstairs for some coffee or something?" Matt suggested smiling at Roger._

"_That is a great idea. Come on Baby." Roger said getting up and taking Ashley's hand._

"_Are you gonna be OK?" Ashley asked looking at Matt._

"_Mom, I'm 16. I think I can be by myself for a little while so you and dad could go eat breakfast." he laughed looking up at her._

"_OK, but we'll only be gone for a little while, OK? I love you." she said sweeping his dirty blond hair back to kiss his forehead._

"_I love you too mom." he said smiling at them._

"_We'll be back in a minute bud." Roger said kissing his head too._

"_Don't worry dad. Keep mom down there for awhile. She needs to get out of this room for a while." Matt said as they left the room._

"My dad was a good man and he made me and my brother into good men too. I love you dad. Have fun with Uncle Collins, Aunt Angel and Aunt Mimi, OK? We'll take care of mom for you. I'll see you later." he said kissing his fingers before touching Roger coffin, which had a picture of Roger from his and Chloe's wedding on it that Mark had taken before returning to Chloe.

"The thing I will remember most about my dad was how much of a big kid he was. He was so awesome. Mom said he used to roll around on the floor with us for hours racing cars or building stuff with legos. I don't remember any of that, but I do remember how much he loved ice cream and video games." he said smiling as he looked back at Roger's picture.

_9 years earlier_

"_ASHLEY. ASHLEY. COME QUICK." Roger yelled from Brandon's room._

"_What's the matter Roger?" Ashley asked running into the room._

"_Dad's gonna beat the game." Brandon said excitedly as he looked intently at the tv._

"_Are you kidding? You know you can't scream like that in this house." she said standing in the doorway._

"_But look, I'm really close. I just have this board and then I'm done." he said holding the controller._

"_You are worse than the boys, do you realize that?" Ashley told him laughing as she sat on Brandon's bed._

"_Yeah well, I've been trying to beat this game for a month."he said watching the tv. "You son of a..." he started before Ashley cut him off._

"_Roger Matthew Davis Sr." she said as he looked up at her._

"_really nice person." he continued as Brandon laughed._

"_Dad, that makes no sense at all." he said laughing at him._

"_YES. TAKE THAT." Roger yelled dropping the controller to raise his arms into the air in victory._

"_You did it dad." Brandon yelled jumping on Roger who was sitting on the floor._

"_Ugh, you are getting too big to be jumping on me monster." he laughed as he flipped Brandon onto his back on the floor and started tickling him._

"_Dad quit it." he laughed squirming._

"_What's the magic words?" Roger asked holding him down._

"_Dad's the king. I am just a lowly peasant bowing down to his greatness." Brandon told him laughing as Roger got off of him._

"_Roger." Ashley called out laughing._

"_What? I am" he asked looking innocently at her._

"_OK, who wants some ice cream to celebrate dad's big win?" Ashley asked laughing at them._

"_I do, I do, I do." Roger called out excitedly as he got up off of the floor raising his hand._

"_Dad, you are such a big kid." Brandon said laughing as he got up off of the floor._

"_You're just noticing that shorty." Ashley said laughing as Roger swept her in his arms to kiss her._

"_But you know you love that about me." he said kissing her._

"_That I do Baby." she said laughing as she kissed him back._

"He was the best dad any kid could ever have. He knew when to have fun and he knew how to make us respect him. Mom always thought he was a push over with us, but we respected him so much. What wasn't to respect about him. He respected my mom and he respected us. Dad, I'm gonna miss you so much. You're the best dad anyone could ever have. I'll try to take care of the family like you did, OK? You'll be really proud of me, I promise." Brandon said starting to cry as Ashley got up to go to him.

"Your dad is proud of you already sweetie." she cried wrapping her arms around him and holding him tight.

"I know mom. I just want him to be more proud of me." he said crying into her shoulder.

"Impossible my sweet boy." she said caressing his hair before Chloe got up to go to him so Ashley could go up and honor her husband. "My Roger. Oh my love, look at us. We always knew this day would come, but I'm still not ready to say good bye to you." she started as she picked up the picture and ran her fingertips over his face. "How do I sum up 29 of the happiest years of my life?" she asked crying as she held the picture close to her chest before turning towards everyone. "It's not possible. Everyone in this room knows what Roger and I are to each other. I use the present tense, because I will always love my Roger and he will always love me. Just because he's gone, it doesn't mean he's still not with me. He's been with me for 29 years and he will be with me until the day I die. I remember every moment with Roger. Every wonderful, magical moment with him." she said as tears began rolling down her face.

_29 years earlier._

"_I take it you guys are staying over tonight?" he asked shoving his hands into his front pockets._

"_Yeah, Kelly really likes Mark." Ashley said looking up at Roger._

"_You know Ash. I don't expect anything to happen tonight. I wanna go slow." he told her leaning down to her._

"_I know. I just want to spend more time with you." she told him smiling up at him._

"_OK. I have the perfect place too." he said grabbing a blanket and his guitar and taking her up to the roof._

"_It is really nice up here." she told him smiling as she looked around._

"_Yeah, it's the most special place I know." he told her laying the blanket out._

"_Why?" she asked looking down at him._

"_Well the view is amazing and yet when I'm up here I feel like the only person in the world." he said sitting down as she sat next to him._

"_It is really nice up here. Um, listen Roger, it's been a while since I've done the whole dating thing. So if I'm a spaz at it. I'm sorry." she told him smiling at him._

"_That's OK. It's been a while for me too. And I wasn't really good at it before, so we can do it together." he told her lauging as he put his arm around her._

"_Well you seem to be doing fine now." she told him smiling up at him._

"_Well I like you." he said leaning down to kiss her head._

"_I like you too." she said leaning into him._

"_I wanna play something for you." he told her reaching over for his guitar._

"_Oh? A private show?" she said smiling up at him._

"_I think you'll like it. I was playing it last night." he said as he started playing Livin on a Prayer by Bon Jovi._

"_I can't believe you. You are so sweet." she said smiling as he began to sing._

"_Tommy used to work on the dock, Union went on strike, he's down on his luck it's tough. So tough." he started flashing his green eyes at her. "Well it's your fault. I couldn't get the song out of my head last night." he said laughing as he continued to sing._

"_Oooh, we're half way there, Ooh Livin on a Prayer. Take my hand, we'll make it I swear. Ooh Livin on a Prayer." they sang in unison._

"_You have a really good voice." he said stopping._

"_Yeah well, I usually can't sing in front of people like you do. But I feel comfortable around you." she said leaning in to kiss him._

"_Good, I'm glad. Because I feel comfortable around you too." he said disguarding his guitar to lay down with her._

"_This is the best day. I mean, I couldn't stop thinking about you all day and then I get to see you. Tonight was really great." she said laying on his chest._

"_Yeah it is. I'm glad you came in tonight." he said kissing her head._

"_Well I'm glad you called me." she said smiling up at him before laying in his arms and falling asleep._

"_There you guys are." Kelly said as she and Mark stood over them. The morning sun shining on them._

"_What time is it?" Ashley asked rubbing her eyes, smudging her eye make up._

"_9:30." Mark answered smiling down at them._

"_Do you wanna go to breakfast?" Roger asked looking down at Ashley._

"_Sure. Let me just cleaned up first." she said smiling up at him._

"_We'll meet you guys downstairs." Kelly said smiling down at them as she and Mark turned around and went downstairs._

"_Good morning." Roger said quietly as he leaned down to kiss her._

"_Good morning." she replied smiling up at him._

"_Come on. Let's go down stairs. We have to get ready." he told her getting up._

"_What do we have to get ready for?" she asked as he held his hands out to help her up._

"_Sunday breakfast. We do it at least once a week. You can meet everyone." he said smiling at her._

"_Do you think they'll like me?" she asked fixing her skirt._

"_Of course they will. Collins already saw you on the film Mark took from last night and he likes you already. Maureen and Joanne are cool. They'll like you too." he said picking up the blanket and his guitar as they went downstairs._

"_I'm just gonna go in the bathroom and wash my face. I'll be out in a minute." Ashley told him before leaning up to kiss him. "Which toothbrush is yours?" she asked smiling._

"_The green one." he said smiling down at her._

"_I'll go with." Kelly said following her in._

"_So, how did it go with Mark last night?" Ashley asked putting the water on._

"_He is so great Ash. I really like him." she said sitting on the edge of the bathtub. "How about you and Roger? You looked pretty comfortable on the roof in each others arms." Kelly asked as Ashley splashed some water on her face._

"_We just talked and must have fallen asleep. I feel so good when I'm with him." she said smiling at her from the mirror._

"_You look like it. You're falling for him, aren't you?" Kelly asked getting up to approach her._

"_Kel, we've only been dating like 15 hours. It's a little soon to be falling for him." Ashley said blushing._

"_You are. You're falling for him." Kelly said as Ashley washed her face._

"_Shut up." Ashley said rinsing her face before grabbing a towel to dry her face._

"_I think he's falling for you too. He looks really protective of you." Kelly said smiling at her before Ashley started brushing her teeth._

"_Why because he asked me to go in the kitchen when he thought there was a robber in Mark's room? He's a gentleman." she said between toothbrush strokes._

"_And the way he was holding you while you guys were sleeping on the roof. Me and Mark were watching you guys for a while." Kelly said as Ashley rinsed her mouth out._

"_Yeah well, he's a nice guy." Ashley said running her fingers through her hair as Kelly washed her face._

"_Ash, I put a pair of sweats and a t-shirt on my bed, if you want to change your clothes." Roger said knocking on the bathroom door._

"_Make that great guy." Kelly said looking at her._

"_OK Roger, thank you. I'll be out in a minute." Ashley said smiling at Kellly. "He is, isn't he?" she said before opening the bathroom door._

"_My room is right over there." he said as they opened the door to the bathroom._

"Roger, you have given me the most wonderful life. Thank you for giving me all the love a woman could ever need. You always respected me, you always loved me and you always made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. You changed my life. Thank you for all the love you give me and thank you for my boys. Goodbye my love." she said quietly as she returned to her seat crying as she clutched the picture of Roger close to her chest.


End file.
